“Because I wanted to.”
“Why?”
“Haven’t you ever wanted to kiss anyone?”
“No.”
“Haven’t you wondered what it was like?”
“I thought I knew.”
“And?”
“I was wrong.”
“Better or worse?”
He seemed unusually anxious over her answer.
“Better.” Drew realized Cole’s arms were still around her, their bodies still pressed together. A feeling of awkwardness overcame her, and she pulled away. “I’d better go back.”
“You haven’t seen the river yet.”
After his kiss, neither the river nor moonlight seemed very significant.
He took her hand. “You can’t go in yet. I promise I won’t kiss you again if you’ll just walk with me.”
Drew realized she wouldn’t have minded being kissed again. The first kiss had caught her so much by surprise she couldn’t really judge how she felt. She wondered if the results of a second kiss would be the same. Isabelle once said kissing Jake got better each time. If their first time had been as pleasant as Cole’s kiss, then considering the number of times they had kissed over the years, the kisses must have become so intense as to be nearly unbearable. Drew could hardly imagine anything that wonderful, but her whole body shivered at the thought.
“Okay.”
“It’s a beautiful night,” Cole said.
She couldn’t ask him to kiss her again, but her mind was definitely not on moonlight and water.
He held her hand firmly in his. “I can remember many nights like this when I was a boy, and I wasn’t herding cattle.”
She wondered if he’d spent them kissing the girls who agreed to walk in the moonlight with him. She wondered if he remembered any one of those kisses as clearly as she was certain she would remember this one.
“I like herding cattle,” she said. Jake said she was good at it, that she didn’t upset the cows the way some of the boys did.
“Forget cows. Think of how pretty the moonlight looks on the river.”
She had seen moonlight on the water many times before, and it had never struck her as anything special. She’d always been too busy to give it much thought But now that she looked at it, it was rather nice. The moonlight spilled across the water in a wide streak that was creamy white in the center and silver along the edges. The surface of the river rippled gently as the water moved slowly downriver.
“It is nice,” she agreed.
“It’s beautiful,” Cole said. “There wouldn’t be so many people out if it weren’t.”
There weren’t exactly hundreds of people out, maybe a dozen couples, and most of them paying scant attention to the river. Some walked hand in hand and talked quietly. Others had settled on benches provided for those interested in quietly watching the river go by. One couple stood in full moonlight, kissing. They seemed so casual about a phenomenon that had shaken her down to her foundations.
“Is that the way you kiss when you take a woman for a moonlight walk?” Drew asked, indicating the kissing couple.
Cole seemed a little surprised by her question. “Sometimes.”
“There are other ways?”
“Lots.”
They walked a little way in silence. “Did you take a lot of girls walking in the moonlight when you were young?”
“A fair number.”
“Did they like it?”
“I never had any complaints.”
He looked out over the river, preventing her from seeing his expression. “Did you kiss all of them?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
He turned to face her, amusement and curiosity mixed together in his expression. “I didn’t want to.”
“I thought all men wanted to kiss women.”
“We do, but we don’t want to kiss every woman. I expect women feel the same way about men.”
She’d never thought about it She rarely saw any women other than Isabelle, Marina, and Hannah. Marina had married Ward, a doctor who was Jake and Isabelle’s best friend. Hannah had married Buck, the only one of the orphans so far to get married. She was certain none of them would consider kissing another man the way they kissed their husbands. The thought came to her that she would never consider kissing another man the way she’d kissed Cole.
Did that mean she felt about Cole the way Isabelle, Marina, and Hannah felt about their husbands?
That was impossible. All three of them were miserable when they were separated from their husbands for more than a few hours. She could go for days without thinking about Cole.
You haven’t stopped thinking about him since that first night.
Of course she hadn’t. He’d dogged her heels practically every minute. That was just like a man. Once they set their minds on something, they were like a dog after a bone, determined to have it until they got it. Then, half the time, they dropped it and walked away. A woman would never do that. If she set her mind on one special quarry, it would be impossible to think of giving him up.
“I expect women are a lot more careful with their kisses than men,” she said.
“You’re probably right.”
“Are you careful with your kisses?”
He laughed. “I haven’t always been, but I think I probably will be from now on.”
“Why?”
“You have to answer a question first. Have you always been careful with your kisses?”
“That was my first kiss.”
“Your absolute first?”
“Yes.”
“What was wrong with the cowboys who worked for your father?”
“We didn’t hire hands. There were enough of us to work the ranch until recently. One tried last time I was home. I punched him in the face and told him I’d shoot his ears off if he touched me again.”
“It’s a good thing I didn’t know. I’d have been too afraid to lay a hand on you.”
It hadn’t escaped Drew’s notice that Cole managed to do quite a few things he knew she didn’t want him to do.
“Do you always hold hands when you walk a girl in the moonlight?”
“Why so many questions about what I do when I’m with other women?”
“I’ve never done any of these things. I’m sure I’ll never do them again, but I just wondered.”
Cole stopped, turned, took her other hand in his. “Why wouldn’t you want to be kissed again? Was it so unpleasant?”
“N-no. It wasn’t unpleasant.”
“But you didn’t like it.”
“No. I—”
“What?”
“Is it always like that?”
“Like what?”
She couldn’t think of words to describe how she felt that wouldn’t sound foolish to a man who’d kissed dozens of women hundreds of times.
“I thought I wouldn’t like it, that it would be uncomfortable. But it was really nice.”
Cole took her hand and started walking again. “It’s supposed to be nice. It’s one of the things men and women do when they want to show how much they like each other.”
“Why should you want to be nice to me? You hardly know me. I argue with you all the time.”
“I like you.”
“Why?”
“Do I have to have a reason?”
“Everybody has reasons for what they do. Sometimes they don’t want to admit to them, or don’t look hard enough to find them, but they’re there.”
“That’s not a very romantic way to look at things.”
“Romance encourages people to see what they want to see rather than what is.”
“And that’s bad?”
“No matter how much you hate it, you have to face reality.”
“Did your parents?”
“No, and they paid for it with their lives. It almost cost mine, too.”
“You’re a strange woman, Drew Townsend. I’ve never met anybody like you before.”
&nb
sp; “I’m no different from everybody else.” She didn’t like being told she was strange. It didn’t sound like a good thing.
“You try to do everything better than men, but you’re very feminine despite yourself. You say you don’t like love, don’t trust it, yet you love your family and believe in Jake and Isabelle’s love. You say you don’t like people, yet you invite half the show to retire to your ranch. You don’t think you’re attractive when even the worst mirror will confirm you’re very pretty. You say you’re shy, yet you choose show business as a way to make a living.”
He stopped and pulled her to face him. “I don’t think you know what you want. Or maybe you do, but are afraid of it.”
“Now you’re the one not making any sense.”
“It’s your fault. I used to be extremely logical.”
“So you gave up being a gentleman to become a drifter. That’s not a sterling example of logic.”
“It’s as good as liking a woman who’s determined never to like me in return.”
“I like you. I didn’t want to at first, but I do.”
“What caused you to change your mind?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out. It worries me that I can’t.”
“Is it my handsome face, my sparkling wit, my manly physique?”
She couldn’t help laughing. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
He looked disappointed. “I wasn’t.”
“You’re handsome enough, but I’ve got several brothers who’re better looking. As for manly physique, Sean has more muscles in one arm than you have in both.”
“I never realized what a problem it would be to court a woman with ten brothers, all from different gene pools.”
“Are you courting me?” The word had stopped her in her tracks.
“Maybe that wasn’t exactly the right word.”
“Good, because I don’t want any man courting me.”
“Okay, liking a woman, wanting her to like you. It’s difficult when you can’t measure up to her brothers. Isn’t there anybody in that corner of Texas who’s an ordinary mortal?”
“Sure, but—”
“Not in your family.”
“You might be better looking than Pete. And I suppose you have more muscles than Will. He’s the most trifling child you’ve ever met, but—”
“Don’t strain yourself trying to compliment me.”
“I was going to say you have a kind of charm and persuasiveness that none of them have. You keep talking me into things I don’t want to do. I can’t even stay mad at you. And there’s something very nice about your smile. I keep thinking of the innocence of a little boy who’s about to get into mischief. He knows he shouldn’t do something, he knows he’s going to get into trouble, but he can’t help himself.”
“Is that it, I’m like a little boy?”
“No. You lie beautifully. If I were the least bit impressionable, you’d have me believing I was beautiful, that men were practically standing in line for a chance to spend a few minutes in my company.”
He muttered something she couldn’t understand.
“And the attention you’ve given to improving my act is very flattering. Zeke and Hawk tell me I haven’t been very gracious about it, that I ought to thank you for—”
Without warning, he grabbed her and kissed her, hard and fast. She felt the world spin, throwing her completely off balance. He broke the kiss, held her at arm’s length.
“That’s what I want from you, not thanks. I don’t want you to think of me as a cross between a priest and a choir boy. I’m a grown man made of flesh and blood, with all the wants and needs of any other man. Call me dangerous. Call me ugly if you must, but don’t call me boyish and charming.”
Drew had never expected anything she might say to Cole to unleash such a fierce reaction. She’d tried to say things she thought would please him, but she couldn’t tell him the truth.
If she were to tell Cole how powerfully he affected her, she’d have to admit it to herself. She didn’t want to do that. He had already weakened her resolve to have nothing to do with men. He’d managed to make her revise her opinion of kissing. She dreaded to think what else he might be able to do if given free rein. She had already learned if she gave Cole an inch, he’d take a mile so fast it made her head spin.
“I didn’t say you were boyish or innocent,” she said, trying to sooth his bruised ego. “I just said you made me think of a boy.”
He growled something inarticulate.
“I can’t help it if you’re charming and gentlemanly and thoughtful.”
He growled again, but this time she had no trouble understanding the curse he uttered.
“You’re just like my bothers,” she said. “If you can’t be rough, tough, and completely without sentiment, you think you’re a failure.”
His expression lightened a little. “Maybe not quite that bad, but men do like to feel they’re at least a little bit dangerous. Hell, how can we protect our women if we’re powder puffs?”
“I can protect myself. You, too, if it comes to that.”
He sagged, like a defeated man. “That’s even worse. No man who needs to be protected by a woman can call himself a man.”
“That’s ridiculous. If you care so little about society’s rules that you choose to be a drifter, why do you subscribe to such a silly notion?”
Instead of answering, he picked her up.
“What are you doing? Put me down!”
“Not until you admit I’m bigger and stronger than you.”
“Don’t be absurd. Put me down.”
“I can run faster, throw farther, and climb higher.”
“Cole, put me down. People will stare.”
“Admit it I’ll hold you off the ground until you do.”
She couldn’t tell whether he was joking or serious, upset or fooling her.
“Okay, you’re bigger and stronger.”
“What else?”
“All the rest. Faster. Anything you want. Now let me down.”
He lowered her until they were nose to nose, but Drew wasn’t thinking of her nose. She was thinking of her body touching his along its whole length, of her breasts pressed hard against his chest, of the churning sensation that suddenly turned her belly into a roiling sea.
“Put me down this minute.”
“Only if you kiss me.”
“I’ve kissed you twice already.”
“No, I kissed you. Now it’s your turn.”
“This is blackmail.”
“It’s your punishment for reducing my ego to the consistency of cornmeal mush.”
The comparison struck her as funny. “Surely not that bad.”
“I’ll probably need several kisses to restore it to health.”
The churning sensation increased. She could flatly refuse and demand he put her down, but she wanted a chance to try it again. It really didn’t make sense to argue with him. He was bigger and stronger. He could hold her off the ground for as long as he wanted, and she couldn’t do anything about it without making a scene. It would be much more logical to do as he wanted.
“I’m only doing this because you’re forcing me to,” she said.
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“I’ve never kissed a man before, so you can’t blame me if it’s not very good.”
“I’ll just keep holding you until you get it right.”
She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. She’d expected him to do something. He didn’t. His lips remained perfectly still.
“You’ve got to help,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
She kissed him again, but this time she put a little more energy into it, made it last a little longer. Cole’s limbs quivered in response. Maybe she’d learned more from watching Jake and Isabelle than she thought.
Then she bit him.
; Not hard. Just a nip. It wasn’t planned. She didn’t even know what she was going to do until she did it. It surprised her as much as it surprised Cole.
With a deep-throated growl, he let her slide down his body until her feet touched the ground. Then he wrapped his arms around her body, pressed her to him so hard she was afraid she couldn’t breath, and kissed her ruthlessly.
Drew discovered kissing wasn’t a difficult skill to acquire. She didn’t even have to try hard. Cole seemed more than anxious to do all the work. Which was just as well, as she was having a very difficult time keeping up with what he was doing, as well as its effect on her body.
She liked the feel of his mouth on hers. He was a little rough, and he was making strange groaning sounds. It was difficult not to be pleased when you could have such an effect on a man. He seemed to be trying hard to prove something. She didn’t know what just yet, but she was willing to hang around until she found out.
She tried very hard to keep her mind on his kiss, but her body was acting up in ways it never had before. Her stomach was in full flight, doing dips, twists, figure eights, and just plain churning itself into a state. Her muscles seemed weak, flabby, unable to support her weight or control the movement of her limbs. Her legs threatened to go out from under her at any moment. To protect against that, she slipped her arms around Cole’s neck.
That produced a satisfactory arrangement for her, but it resulted in Cole making a whole series of louder and more urgent noises. It also resulted in his pressing his body more firmly against hers. She hadn’t spent the last nine years surrounded by boys growing into young men without anticipating what happened very soon thereafter. What she hadn’t anticipated was its effect on her.
In the welter of sensation that engulfed her, she gradually became aware that her nipples had become extremely sensitive. Being pressed hard against Cole’s chest had turned them into two points of boiling sensation that sent sparks and shivers radiating throughout her body. She yielded to the urge to press even harder against him and was rewarded by another groan.
Drew was finding it harder and harder to get her breath. She felt swept away, sucked into a maelstrom—
She felt Cole stiffen. The click of a cocked gun was unmistakable.
“Get your hands off her, or I’ll drop you where you stand.”
Drew (The Cowboys) Page 18