“Not a thing.”
He laid his hand on her jeans-clad thigh, and the heat from his palm sent her heart racing like she’d climbed the mountainous road into Westfield on foot instead of in the passenger seat of an SUV. She swallowed hard when he leaned close. Her breath caught in anticipation that he might kiss her again.
“You gonna eat the rest of that chili?”
“Oh, you...” She shoved the bowl into his broad chest. “You have it. I don’t think I can take any more anyway. My eyes are boiling as it is.”
With her nerves in an uproar at Dex’s closeness, Lena tried to get a handle on her emotions and thoughts while he finished off the second bowl of chili. Over the last few hours, she and Dex had moved into dangerous territory for a fake relationship. She’d anticipated having to kiss him. After all, their families were meant to think they were serious enough to be meeting the family, and that meant the expectation of at least a low level of PDA. She’d even braced herself for the desire that washed over her at every touch of his hand.
But the way he placed his hand on the small of her back when he walked next to her? Or how those little lines appeared and crinkled just so at the corners of his eyes when he laughed? And most of all, the way his expression softened sometimes when he looked at her?
Those things she hadn’t been ready for.
He tapped her on the nose. “Lost in thought?”
“Hmm...” Her cheeks heated with embarrassment at being caught staring at him. Hopefully in the dimly lit room he wouldn’t be able to see the color surely darkening up her cheeks. “Just tired. It’s been a long day.”
“That it has. Wait here. I’ll stick these bowls in the dishwasher and then we can get to bed.”
Lena tried to relax while she waited, but the knowledge that in just a few short moments she’d be in the same bed as Dex had her too keyed up to manage it. Anticipation and dread warred within her and she wasn’t quite sure which would win out in the end.
He walked back in and held out his hand. When he spoke, his words were loaded with innuendo and her heart beat so loud in her ears that it nearly drowned him out.
“Come on, city girl, let me take you to bed.”
CHAPTER NINE
DEX NOTICED THE momentary panic in Lena’s eyes before a wary desire moved in. Cautious interest he could deal with. Fear, not so much. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him. She had to come to him willingly.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me, Lena,” he said with his hand still outstretched. He waited to see if she was going to take that step and put her hand in his. To see if she trusted him enough to move forward with him in this way.
After a moment where she nibbled her lips and he nearly closed the distance himself, Lena swallowed hard. But her voice was rock solid when she said, “I’m not afraid of you, Dexter Henry.” She stepped away from him to grab her bag, and what she said next he didn’t think she meant him to hear.
But he thought he heard her say, “I’m afraid of my reactions to you.”
“I’m so tired I could sleep on these stairs, how ’bout you?”
“Exhausted.” She looked up the steep stairs, slung her bag over her shoulder and sighed. “A hotel would have had a bellhop to carry our bags up for us.”
“I can get it for you, if you need me,” he offered.
“No, I can do it. You know, if we stay at my parents’ like my mother wants, they have ‘Robert,’ who will carry them up for us.” She used her fingers to make quotations around the name.
“Robert?” he asked, making air quotes like she had. “Why would you put air quotes around a person’s name?”
Her expression was one of long suffering mingled with annoyed disbelief. It intrigued him how much she could say in a single glance. Her face expressed more emotions than people he knew. Or maybe he was just so intrigued by her that even her microexpressions couldn’t slip past his scrutiny? He packed that last thought away for later examination.
“Because our butler’s real name is usually not Robert. My mother just can’t be bothered to learn any new names, so when someone gets hired there, they take on the mantle of Robert.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Surely he had misunderstood what she’d just said. No one could be so egotistical as to rename their employees, could they?
“All our butlers are named Robert now, regardless of what their given name is.” She shrugged. “Please don’t judge me on this. I have no say in what my parents do.”
“Wow. Just...wow.”
“I know.” She waved toward the stairs. “Can we...?”
“Oh, right.” He took her bag from her hand. “I’ll carry this. Consider me your own personal Robert.”
She snorted. “I’m never going to live this one down, am I?”
“Probably not, city girl,” he called over his shoulder as he led the way up the stairs. He walked into his childhood bedroom and dropped the suitcases at the foot of the bed. Looking around, he tried to see if anything too embarrassing still lingered in here. He hadn’t stayed with his parents in years, after all, and never with a woman he cared about impressing. Nothing jumped out at first glance, at least.
Lena leaned against the open door frame. “Okay, so we need to set some ground rules before we get in that bed.”
“Shh...” Dex pointed quickly toward the wall on his left. With his voice barely above a whisper, he continued, “You would think with ten-inch-thick log walls you’d have some privacy, but sound carries in this place like you were standing next to each other. The only privacy in this house is visual.”
How sound carried in this cabin was his least favorite thing about his childhood home. His mom had always known exactly what kind of mischief he was up to practically before he started because she could hear everything he did. Everything he said.
Maybe even what he thought.
“Really?” She wrinkled her nose up and stared at the wall separating his room from the room where his aunt slept. “Strike log cabins off my list of future dream homes, then.”
“For real.” He rolled his eyes. He’d made that determination himself years ago. “And when I was a kid, my parents had the room next door. They didn’t build the addition downstairs until I was in high school.”
“Lovely.”
Shaking his head at her, he said, “That’s a word someone would use who was not regularly subjected to hearing just how much their parents still loved each other.”
“That would imply that said person’s parents actually ever loved each other.” Wrapping her arms around herself, she grimaced. “I told you that love didn’t factor into my parents’ decisions. Pretty sure my parents are only together because they each had something to offer to the other. My mother came from old money. But my dad had the hotshot career and the more varied social connections that my mother desired. And after thirty years together, neither is willing to admit defeat or suffer the societal downturn that a divorce would entail.”
“Surely they loved each other at some point. They had you, after all.”
“No, they needed an heir to parade about as proof they were really married.” The melancholy etched on her face cut straight to the depths of his soul. “I happened to be who they got stuck with. Both would have preferred a son.”
Dex moved in front of her and tugged her into his arms. He wanted to soothe away her sadness and give her some happy memories. And that vulnerability in her gaze made him want to do whatever it took to protect her. He stiffened at that thought and rolled the idea around in his head. Protect her? Where did that come from? And why did it feel so natural?
“Dex, this isn’t a good idea.”
* * *
“I told you before, I’m a big boy and I know what no means.”
Even though his voice was a low whisper, the hurt and frustration slammed into her like a wave pounding at the sand. This
man had her emotional state sitting on a fault line that spanned her already fragile heart. She needed time to stabilize it before anymore seismic activity worsened it. But at the same time, if she continually hurt him with her actions, then she was no better than her father.
“When I’m tired, my emotions run closer to the surface, and I don’t want to subject you to another potential meltdown,” she admitted.
He took a step back and slid his hands down her arms, linking his fingers with hers. His voice was barely audible. “You know I’d never want to cause you pain, right? I know I have a bit of a reputation—”
“A bit?” she scoffed, interrupting him. “According to hospital gossip, you’ve slept with half the female staff under forty.”
“Not even close. But even if I had, what’s wrong with two consenting adults finding a few moments of pleasure with one another?”
“A few moments, huh?” She leaned closer, her lips grazing his ear. “Never pegged you for a two-punch chump.”
The speed with which he moved surprised her and the next thing she knew, Dex had her pinned to the wall. His teeth nipped at her earlobe with a sharp warning. “If you don’t want to find out about my skills in the bedroom, then don’t tease.”
In the span of a breath, the dynamic between them shifted from something awkward that still held a layer of falsehood to something far deeper. Swallowing hard, Lena put her hands up on his shoulders to push him away—which was the responsible thing to do, of course—but just as she did, he nuzzled his way down her throat, and the thought of rejecting his advances fled.
“Dex...”
“You want me to kiss you, don’t you?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She didn’t trust her words in that moment. But yes, she wanted him to kiss her. More than she’d ever wanted anyone to kiss her.
“Well, well, well, what have we here?”
“Wade!” Dex spun around. “You saw nothing. You heard nothing. And if you tattle on me, then I’m going to hit you so hard you’ll have a dent for a week.”
“Dex, if you hit him that hard you’ll break your hand and you might not be able to cut anymore. I’ve seen what happens when surgeons can’t operate anymore. I don’t want to live through that again.” She shivered, despite the heat lingering from Dex’s touch. “Maybe kick him instead?”
When her father had lost the full use of his hand after a car accident, their lives had been nearly destroyed by the man’s own self-pity. Once he’d moved past the initial depression, he’d thrown all his energy into trying to mold Lena into his replacement. But she’d never been interested in plastic surgery. She’d disappointed him when instead of pre-med she’d chosen nursing. It was only after he’d accepted the medical director position that things had slowly got back to normal, where he’d mostly ignored her and worked constantly again.
“Lena, this is Wade, my youngest brother.” Dex waved a hand in Wade’s general direction, then waved toward her. “Annoying baby brother, this is my girlfriend, Lena.”
Her heart skipped a beat as her referred to her as his girlfriend again. She hadn’t quite solved the mystery of why her body liked that term so much. Was it the way the word rolled off his tongue in that sexy Southern accent he tried so hard to squash?
Or, and she hated to even admit this to herself, was it because Dex was the first man ever to make her feel valued? And he did it so effortlessly.
“Hello,” she said, flashing a smile at Wade. So that’s what Dex had looked like in college.
Wade had the same dark hair and the same broad shoulders, but there was something about him that seemed lesser. Maybe a lack of maturity? She couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Dex and Wade started talking and she moved into the bedroom without either of them being aware. They moved down the hallway into another room, their quiet conversation carrying just barely through the space.
She sighed when she sank down on the bed. Flopping back, she closed her eyes against the burn of tears. Having Dex’s brother interrupt was frustrating, of course, but it had also kept them from potentially taking things a step too far. A step they weren’t really prepared to take.
At least with Dex down the hall catching up with his brother—and judging from the occasional laughter and unending conversation, he might be a while—she had the room to herself for the moment. And that was a relief.
Sitting back up, she went into the attached bath and got ready for bed. Dex was still down the hall when she flipped off the lights and climbed under the covers. If they were both lucky, she’d be sound asleep by the time he had finished reminiscing with his brother. Because if she was awake, they might find themselves in a situation that didn’t get interrupted.
And she wasn’t sure if that would be a good thing or not.
CHAPTER TEN
THE ALLURING AROMA of coffee tickled at his awareness. Dex rolled over and reached for Lena, his hand coming up empty, and the sheets on the other side of the bed were cold.
“Lena?” He sat up, rubbing at his eyes.
With the bathroom door standing open, he could be sure she wasn’t in the en suite. She’d fallen asleep while he and his brother had caught up. He’d been tempted to wake her up and finish what they’d started before Wade’s interruption, but she’d looked so peaceful that he’d let her sleep.
She’d been in his arms when he’d fallen asleep. Now where the heck was she?
A few minutes later, after he’d got dressed, he made his way down the stairs. Soft feminine laughter carried through the cabin from the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway to see what he was walking into.
Lena stood in the kitchen wrapped in one of his mother’s oversized aprons, her hair piled loosely on top of her head. She focused on a bowl of batter before her on the island countertop. Concentration wrinkled her forehead as she scrutinized the batter. “Is it meant to be so lumpy?”
“You never made pancakes before?” Dex asked in disbelief.
Lena waved a whisk with clumps of flour clinging to it in his direction. “Hush, you. I told you I don’t know how to cook much.”
“Does ‘Robert’ make your pancakes, then?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Butlers do not cook. Robert would be insulted if asked to make pancakes. He could be sent to ask Chef to do so, however.”
“You have a butler?” his mom asked with disbelief. “Stir that batter a little more. It shouldn’t be quite that lumpy, but a few lumps are okay.”
Lena stirred the batter slowly and carefully, her attention focused on it. “My parents have a butler, not me. They have a butler, a chef, a housekeeper and a gardener. Robert, the butler, is in charge of the others as well as being my father’s personal assistant. When I was younger, they had my nanny as well.”
“Your parents must be busy people.” His mom tried to be diplomatic, but he could see on her face how she really felt. She’d never tell Lena that she thought people with that many servants were ridiculous, because she wouldn’t want to hurt Lena’s feelings. But they’d had a lot of arguments just getting his mom to accept help with even occasional housekeeping. She was old-fashioned and believed a woman should take care of her own home and family.
“You won’t hurt it if you stir a little more vigorously. Give it a good stir.” Dex stepped closer and put his hand over Lena’s.
“Busy? Sure.” Lena’s sigh reached deep and held frustration as she came back to his mom’s question. “My father had his practice and later the hospital to run. Mother had her charities.”
“And what did you have?” Dex questioned, noticing she’d left herself out of that explanation. He wrapped his arms around Lena from behind and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her throat. There was a naturalness to the move that settled over him. Holding Lena in his arms felt right.
“Paralyzing self-doubt, endless anxiety and so much fear of commitment that I could be my own Hall
oween attraction?” Lena gave him a raw, honest answer, deeper than she meant to give if the blush that soared up into her cheeks was any indication. “Forget I said that, please,” she murmured.
How could he forget what she said when she’d just given him so much insight into her history? He held her closer. “That’s why you turned me down at first, isn’t it?”
“She did what?” his mom interrupted, sounding really surprised. “Turned you down? When?”
“Shh...” He shushed his mom. “Lena and I have moved past it, so don’t think on it.”
Lena sighed and leaned back against his chest. “After surgery that day, when we’d spent all that time side by side, and just talking, you know, I got to thinking, maybe I could get lucky and find someone who would really see me and want to be with me. Not because of who I was related to, or the connections I could offer them, but the real me. But, well, I let the gossip get into my head. So, yes, my parents were part of why I turned you down, but I let other people convince me that you were like him and I couldn’t—”
Dex spun her around. “I’d never—”
Lena cut him off with a sound. He pressed his lips shut and waited for her to finish her thoughts.
“I couldn’t risk it. Not ’til I got to know you better. And the more I get to know you, the more I realized that the only thing you have in common with my father and Connor is that you are all surgeons.” Lena reached up and cupped his cheek. “I’ve also realized that I’m going to have to accept the loss on these pancakes. I think I’ll go get a shower now.”
He watched as Lena took the apron off. She folded it neatly and placed it on the island before heading upstairs.
With a deep sigh, he sank down onto a stool.
“Trouble in paradise?” his mom asked. She nodded in the direction of the stairs. “I’m having a hard time getting a feel on her. She flutters from friendly to frosty faster than a honeybee in your Nana’s flower garden.”
He shrugged. “I’m hungry. You got any pancakes made?”
A Nurse, a Surgeon, a Christmas Engagement Page 10