by J. D. Light
Forcing myself to step back and release him, I waited until I was sure he was steady on his feet, his burning blue eyes somewhat focused before I released him completely.
Nodding once because I'd done what I'd set out to do, I'd shown him that he was wanted and that someone out there wanted to be with him, wanted more than just to knock him up and force him to have their babies, I turned and made my way out of the kitchen, ignoring the shocked look on Meyers' face and the slightly confused one on Braden's, needing to get outside so I could hyperventilate in private.
Once around the back side of the house, I pressed my back against the rough wood siding and panted. Had I really just done that? Had I really just been brave enough to lay my cards on the table like that?
What if he rejected me? What if he never spoke to me again? I'd convinced myself over the last few weeks that I could live my life having a strange friendship with my mate until he was ready to be claimed, or even in a relationship with a shifter, but what chance did I have now of being with him if the kiss freaked him out enough that he didn't want to be around me anymore.
I should have thought it through better. I should have just told him that he was handsome and left it at that.
The back door that was connected to the kitchen opened and I smelled my mate before I even turned to find him standing there, leaning on the railing with one eyebrow raised and a small, crooked smile on his lips.
"That was pretty dramatic," he said calmly, and I sighed, letting my chin drop to my chest. "You realized you walked all the way around the house just to stand directly below the window where I'm cooking, don’t you?"
Chapter Three
Rowe's blush got brighter, and he huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head. "I didn't really have a destination in mind. I just went."
I smiled, turning to make my way down the steps. "How long are you planning on standing out here and freaking out?"
He sighed, looking over and watching me as I moved closer. "Well, since I can't seem to do it in peace, I guess I'm done."
I stopped walking for a moment, a surprised laugh leaving me. "Ew," I said after a moment, starting up again and going to stand in front of him, glaring up into his face. "Are you getting sassy with me?"
His eyes widened for a moment before he shut them again, shaking his head. "What is wrong with me?"
Well that was easy to answer.
I wasn't even surprised anymore to find myself standing entirely too close to the man. It seemed like I was constantly finding myself in his space. Especially with Spritz around for us to be co-papas of. It seemed like we were constantly transferring the little guy back and forth.
I didn't know what had made me decide I wanted to help him with the thing. Probably something to do with the pleading look on his face, and the fact that for some reason, when it came to Rowe Belk, I was as soft as fucking mashed potatoes. Softer! Melted butter.
I knew I'd surprised him and everyone else in the room––including myself––when I'd used him as a chair earlier that day, but after hearing that asshole talk shit about Rowe's big beautiful heart and then call him big and dumb… if I hadn't been holding the baby, I probably would have done something very violent and very dumb.
"Nothing as far as I can tell," I said, grabbing the material of his shirt at his sides, glaring up into his face for his fucking horrible timing. "Now, let me tell you something this time. If I wasn't smack in the middle of making dinner, I would be doing so many things to you."
He cringed. "Like hitting me in the face with a pickle jar?"
Frowning, I stepped closer, nearly putting my chest to his. "Was that more sass?"
He licked his lips, swallowing. "No," he said, clearing his throat and shaking his head. "I’m really not sure if that is what you'd want to do to me."
My heart was racing as I looked up into his face. I had no idea what I was doing, and if he hadn’t kissed me in the kitchen, I never would have been brave enough to do what I was about to do.
Rocking up on my toes, I pressed my mouth to his, my body immediately melting against him. He groaned, his hands going to my lower back, his fingers tightening on my sides as I swept my tongue inside his mouth, sliding it against his.
My dick rose, pressing against his hipbone, and his hands moved lower to grip my ass, pulling me closer and repositioning me to where his cock rubbed along mine. I'd never felt anything like it in my life and I whimpered into his mouth, sliding my hands up his body. I moaned at the feel of all that muscle just under the thin cotton of his T-shirt. I wanted to feel his skin with my palms. I wanted to feel it against my own chest.
I was leaking pre-cum in my underwear, and I knew if I gave myself a few more seconds of our bodies rolling together, there would be no pre to it.
Gasping, I pulled back, pressing my forehead to his chest and pulling my hips back as far as he would let me. It felt so fucking good to be in his arms, pressing our bodies together, but I refused to finish dinner with a fucking wet spot.
"I've never kissed anyone before," I said breathlessly, rolling my forehead against the unforgiving plains of his chest. "How'd I do?"
Groaning, he jerked me back into his body, one hand slipping up to put a finger under my chin so he could lift my mouth to his. It was a much quicker kiss, but it still left me dizzy and stupid by the time he pulled back to look down into my face.
"Perfect," he whispered, blinking in awe. "You kiss perfectly."
I blushed, laughing at myself when he ran his finger over my heated cheek.
I didn't know if he was just saying that to be nice or not, but the compliment felt real, and my heart thrummed hard in my chest.
"I need to go finish dinner," I whispered truthfully, once again wishing his timing could have been a little better. It would have been nice to have gotten to explore where those kisses might have led if we had a little more time.
His stomach growled, making him blush all over again, and I smirked, stepping back and grabbing his hand. "Come on. Let's get all those muscles fed. I need to be able to hold your bigger muscles over Meyers' head."
***
Dinner was pretty uneventful. I actually made enough for everyone… and bitched about it just for fun. I didn't get a chance to talk to Rowe afterward like I'd hoped, since Recker pulled him and Meyers aside to call Grayson.
Braden had glared at all the dishes, wondering out loud if they'd done that on purpose. I'd just shrugged, grabbing his arms and dragging him out of the kitchen before leaving a note on the television that informed the trio they were in charge of clean up.
We'd gone to his room––the one he shared with Meyers–– and I'd let him tease me about my ridiculous crush on Rowe, not feeling near as sensitive about it after the kisses earlier. I didn't fully know what they meant, but knowing that there was even a smidge of a chance that he wanted to be with me, I was dying to see where that might lead.
When I finally left his room, Meyers still hadn't come back, and as I passed the closed door just off the living room, I knew they were still in there, even though it was starting to get a little late, and I wondered what was going on.
I had no doubt they'd tell us. They'd kept us up to date on everything that was going on, and I knew as much or more about the whole thing than they did, though I couldn't help but wonder what must be going on for them to be in there for so long.
Deciding Rowe would probably want to go to bed when he was finally done with all that, I fed the baby and left another note, then went upstairs to my room to take a shower and get into bed.
The shower was warm and fairly relaxing, but the longer I went completely alone without Braden there to distract me, or Rowe there to talk to, the anxiety started to creep in. I was becoming more and more convinced by the second that I had done something to turn Rowe off. That the real reason they weren't done with the meeting yet was because he'd decided to wait until I went to bed to come out.
Logically, I knew they actually had a lot to talk about with Gray
son and a few others. They'd discussed it on the way home. There was probably a pretty good information exchange on both sides, but the part of me that had never kissed anyone in my life before earlier, couldn't help but worry I'd done something wrong.
When I was finally done washing, I climbed out of the shower, feeling like I usually did when anxiety came creeping. Like there was something unfinished. Like I'd left the conversation with Rowe before it was finished… which was a bit true considering I hadn't actually gotten to talk to him about any of it at all.
The steam from the shower exited with me when I opened the door to the bathroom, but even with the distraction of my crazy worry and the fact that I was basically blind for a few seconds from the steam, I knew there was someone in my room, and I snatched the first thing I could grab off the dresser by the doorway and slung it in the direction of the presence, while immediately reaching for something else.
"Shit!" Rowe said as the steam cleared. His huge frame was clogging up the doorway to my room, and he was standing there with wide eyes, holding a porcelain vase like a football, and the metal tray that had once had decorative balls of some sort that I was sure were probably spread across the floor.
"Oh," I said stupidly, gently setting the stone figurine of a pig back down on the dresser.
I wasn't sure who had decorated the safe house we were staying in, or if it had come decorated when the FBI bought it, but whoever was responsible, had a big preoccupation with themes. My room was pigs, while Braden's old room had been horses. Both of which were better than one of the rooms down the hall that had actually been done in angels, and not at all subtly. Gold and pink with white little angels everywhere.
"Sorry, I couldn't see all that well. I just knew there was someone in here."
He blinked at me several times and I quickly moved forward taking the tray out of his hands, then the vase when it looked like he might be too stunned to actually move. I took both items and put them back on the dresser, glancing around at the ten to fifteen different sized balls scattered across the floor and decided they could wait until later. Like when there wasn't a big gorgeous man in my doorway, watching me like he wasn't sure whether he should come the rest of the way in… or run.
Rowe was doing that staring thing again, his gaze moving over my body, and I suddenly remembered that I was only wearing a towel. I tried to be subtle about reaching up with my left hand to check and make sure my hair was down over my missing ear, and then crossed my arms over my chest, knowing he'd probably already seen the missing nipple, but still not completely comfortable with his open perusal of certain parts of me.
I'd have almost been more comfortable standing in front of him completely naked from the waist down than the waist up.
He must have seen my discomfort, because he shook his head, his mouth falling open like he wanted to say something.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, stepping forward. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want me to leave until you get dressed?"
"No, don't leave. Just give me a minute." Turning, I dug through my dresser, pulling out some underwear, shorts and a shirt, turning my head to find Rowe still watching me, his eyes moving over my back and ass. When they moved up to meet mine, he blushed, making me feel lighter somehow.
I went back into the bathroom and dressed as quickly as slightly wet skin let anyone dress, getting my underwear and shorts on, and then pausing at the shirt.
Could I go without one? I knew he'd seen me earlier, and if the way he was looking at me right before I walked into the bathroom was anything to go by, he wasn't any less attracted to me because of it. The logical part of myself knew I was probably being more sensitive than I should be. He hadn't given me any reason to believe that my scars bothered him in the least, but for once, my logic was really not helping as much as I wished it would.
"Malik?" Rowe asked through the door. "Do you want me to come back tomorrow?"
"No!" I said too quickly, cringing. "I'll be out in a second."
I clutched the shirt in my hands, looking at my body once more. It really wasn't that bad. The skin was definitely more of the same as my face, raised in some areas and shallow in others, making a rough uneven surface over the muscles on my left side.
I knew how lucky I'd been that my sister had put me out when she had. My muscles and tendons had all been left intact, and I had full range of motion, which had allowed me to go to the gym, so my body was at least fit.
I had a good shape and had caught more than one man or woman checking my ass out over the years before they got a good look at my face.
If I wanted to be with Rowe, he was going to have to see me at some point. But was that what I wanted? I'd been pretty adamantly against the idea of mating from the very beginning, and though I knew we were probably a long way from anything like that, I couldn't help but wonder if being mated to Rowe would be all that bad.
He was pretty nomadic from what I understood, moving where cases took him, and staying in hotels most of the time, but I could do that if I needed to. It would be hard, and I'd have to insist we got a room with a kitchen, so I could make sure he was fed well, but…
Okay, I was definitely getting ahead of myself. There was a really good chance Rowe wasn't interested in me like that at all. Not in the long-term way, anyway. Maybe he just wanted a one-night-stand. Could I be that?
I chuckled softly, but I was sure he probably heard me from the other side of the door and, no doubt, thought I was freaking crazy.
One, I could definitely be that. I would take Rowe Belk and his stupid fucking name anyway I could get him. Two, I didn't really see Rowe as a one-night stand type of person. He might be a nomad, but something about him told me he would latch on to someone he cared about and never let go.
Fuck it! Standing in that bathroom trying to decide my future wasn't going to get me anywhere. If I wanted to be with him, I was going to at least put myself out there a little.
Glaring down at the shirt, I tossed it up on the counter and turned to the door, taking a deep breath. I could do it. It was Rowe. That sweet, wonderful man wouldn't let a missing nipple stop him from caring about someone.
I opened the door maybe a little harder than necessary and stepped forward… which put me almost directly in front of Rowe who was standing right there on the other side, looking worried.
"Are you okay?" he asked immediately, reaching up to cup my face in his hands.
I smiled softly, not even flinching out of his hold when I realized at least two of his fingers were sitting right where my ear used to be.
I swallowed down the lump forming in my throat and rolled my eyes. "I just needed a moment to decide just how bad I needed a shirt."
As if just realizing I was standing there shirtless, he dropped his gaze to look down my body, a smile building on his face the longer he looked.
My heart raced as he looked me over, and I truly wished I could read his mind in that moment, though it didn't look like it was necessary, since it was pretty easy to read the heat in his expression when his eyes met mine again.
"I'm sorry it took us so long," he said quietly, his voice husky. "You were right about Darrin Clay, he hasn't logged into the site in a while, and he hasn't been on a case or anything else as far as we can tell since the bunker. He's been called for them, but none of the multiple people we talked to tonight that he usually works with can get ahold of him."
"What are you guys thinking? You think he's responsible, or do you think he's being used?"
He blinked, smiling after a moment of studying my face. "We don't know. Right now, we are just treating it as him being missing. We've already sent out messages to everyone that if anyone hears from him, they are supposed to get ahold of Grayson, and he'll get ahold of us. Once we find him, we'll figure it out from there."
"Makes sense." His lips seemed closer, and I was struggling not to watch it so damn obviously, but I really wanted another taste of his mouth.
"I wouldn’t have c
ome so late, but I saw Braden in the kitchen, and he said you'd just come up, and I… I don't know." He blushed, licking his lips. "I just felt like I needed to talk to you after today."
"Yeah," I whispered, leaning closer, crowding him. "We should probably talk about that."
He nodded, his hand moving down the scarred side of my face, over my shoulder and down over my pec. When his fingers moved from the ruined skin where it ended a few inches below my pec, I shuddered at the sudden sensation of his fingers on my live skin.
"Yeah," he said, his fingers following the soft skin of my side to my lower back, his breath warm on my lips.
Groaning, I leaned forward, pressing my mouth to his and winding my arms up around his shoulders, pulling him in deeper.
He grunted against my mouth and I smiled before pressing for more, licking at his lips. He didn't resist, opening for me almost immediately. Both of his hands slid down over my ass, and he lifted me with ease, making me moan around his tongue and wrap my legs around his waist.
I had absolutely no control over my own actions, and I rolled my hips, pressing my hard dick against the ridges of his stomach through my shorts and his T-shirt. Pre-cum oozed from my cock, making my shorts damp, and I rocked again, needing more friction.
He walked me over to the bed, lowering me onto my back and pulling back to hover over me.
"I really need to tell you something," he said, his hands roughly moving up my sides between me and the bed.
"Is it that you don't want to kiss me anymore?" I asked, trying to work his shirt up and over his body and head, needing to feel him against my skin. When I finally managed to get it off of him, and he settled again, our skin rubbing together, and we both moaned, his mouth settling softly against mine.
"No, it's definitely not that," he whined, his lips catching and dragging against mine.