by BC Powell
“I thought about you, too,” she replies, gently rubbing her hands across my back. “I felt so happy while we were together. When you left, I grew angry with myself for wanting to be with you. I know you can’t come here without feeling pain in your world.”
“Don’t ever feel like that, Sash. I’ll put up with anything I have to if it means I can keep seeing you.”
“It shouldn’t have to be that way,” she says, “and I can’t control my reaction sometimes.”
I’ve seen her struggle to keep her anger in check. But for the first time, I realize how overwhelming it must be for her to understand the emotions she feels from my world. The range of feelings I experience on a daily basis are considered “irrational and extreme” in Krymzyn.
“Why do you think you’re able to feel the things you do?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” Her hands stop on my shoulders. “I’ve discussed it with Eval. She believes the purpose will be revealed at some point in the future. I think about it often, but I have no answer.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through that alone. I know how tough it can be.”
“Those emotions allow me to feel the way I do about you,” she replies. “I would never give that up.” She reaches around me to lift my shirt from the table. “Come with me. We need to cleanse.”
I follow her across the main cavern to the head of her bed. After unbuckling the rope from around her waist, she loops it over a hook in the wall. When she takes off her shirt, my eyes fall to the subtle curves of her breasts.
“Finish undressing,” Sash says.
She unbuttons her pants and slides them down her legs. Feeling a natural sense of comfort around her, and none of the embarrassment I felt when we were younger, I do the same. She takes my pants from me, drapes our clothing over one arm, and leads me by the hand into the glistening cave. We walk through the shallow stream, soothing to my feet, until we stop under the fall. Raising our clothes up one piece at a time, Sash lets the flow of water rinse the fabric clean.
“Do you need help?” I ask.
“No, but thank you for offering,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”
While she returns our clothing to the other room, I wash the dried blood from my neck, shoulders, and arms. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, letting the invigorating sensation splash over my skin.
Fingertips touch my forehead. Standing behind me, Sash combs her fingers through my hair. After kissing the back of my neck, she steps into the fall by my side.
Turning to Sash, I’m entranced by the sensual curves of her body. Aware of my gaze, she smiles to me, and I lean to her lips. As we kiss, her hands reach around my waist. She embraces me tightly, pressing her chest firmly against mine. I’m having the same reaction I had when I was seventeen, but I don’t try to hide it from her. I know she feels me against her stomach, but she doesn’t pull away or say anything about it.
“I love you, Sash,” I whisper in her ear, holding her close.
“I love you,” she replies.
“I’d like to make love with you,” I say.
“What’s ‘make love’?” she asks, leaning her head back to study my eyes.
“It’s something two people do in my world when they feel the way we feel about each other. It’s like what goes on in the Ritual of Balance—mating—but it’s done because we love each other, to feel close, not to reproduce. But I only want us to do it if you’re sure you feel that way.”
We stare silently at each other as several seconds pass.
“I want to experience with you what you would do in your world,” Sash finally says. “That’s how I feel about you.”
“The only problem is,” I reply, “I don’t have protection.”
“Protection from what?”
“Protection from getting you pregnant.”
“I’m not fertile. Only when a woman has the sign of fertility can she become pregnant.”
“Well, that’s convenient,” I mumble.
Since there’s no disease here, and I know we’re both virgins, I decide that we don’t have to worry about STDs.
“You’ve done this in your world?” she asks.
I glance down at the water flowing over my feet, knowing with every part of me that I made the right decision to wait for this moment with Sash. I’m asking her to share an experience that’s never existed this way in Krymzyn. She needs to know that it’s as new and meaningful to me as it must be to her. I look up to her eyes.
“No, I’ve never done it,” I say. “You’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about.”
She peers inside me before replying. “You’re the only person I want to feel this with.”
I rest my forehead against hers, suddenly worrying that she has no idea what’s involved. “Sash, I think it really hurts a woman the first time.”
“I know what to expect,” she replies. “When we’re children, the mating process is explained to us by the Keepers.”
“If it makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t feel right, just say so, and we can stop. I don’t want to do anything—”
She presses a finger against my lips. “I told you,” she says, “I want to feel what you feel in your world. I want to feel it with you.”
I take Sash’s hand in mine. As we cross from the waterfall to the other room, my skin and hair instantly feel dry. When we reach her bed, we both kneel on the mattress. I watch as she stretches out on her back, knowing deep inside that she’s the only person I could ever be with this way.
Lying down beside her, I prop myself up on one arm, my face inches over hers. I try to think of the perfect words to say, wanting her know how much I feel for her. She reaches a hand to the back of my head. While I hesitate, she seems to read my mind.
“You don’t need to say anything,” she says. “I feel what’s inside you.”
“I just want this to be perfect,” I say.
“It already is,” she quietly replies.
I lean down to kiss her lips. As our mouths open, her tongue searches for mine. They gently swirl together, sending a quiver through my spine.
Lifting my face over hers, I’m enchanted by her eyes. I lower one hand from her shoulder to her chest. My fingers trace the outline of her breast, gradually circling inward to her small, firm nipple.
Sash raises her head from the bed and kisses me. Her fingertips glide up and down my back. When her head sinks into the pillow again, I kiss her neck, her cheek, and softly nuzzle her ear.
My hand wanders over her stomach until I reach the soft, narrow line of fine hair. I lightly brush my palm down the top of her thigh. As I slide it back up the inside of her leg, she spreads her knees. Her smooth, moist folds reach my touch. I run my fingertips over her before tenderly slipping one finger inside. She’s soft, wet, and for the first time, I feel warmth in Krymzyn.
Her fingertips graze around my side and across my chest. We nervously smile at one another as she reaches lower. Taking me in her hand with a delicate grasp, she strokes up and down.
I roll on top of her body, our eyes never parting. Still holding me in one hand, Sash presses her other against my back as she guides me inside. I enter as slowly as I can, but there’s a slight look of pain on her face.
“Am I hurting you?” I whisper.
Sash shakes her head, her eyes deep inside mine. “No. You feel right to me.”
“You feel right to me, too,” I say.
Both of her hands clench my hips and she pushes me deeper. She tenses as I ease completely inside. With a deep breath and a slow exhale, she gradually relaxes. Bathed in an amber glow from overhead, we lie perfectly still, hugging each other as tight as we can.
When I start to move, her body falls in sync with mine. She breathes out and I breathe in, inhaling her, absorbing her in every way I can. We kiss each other’s necks, ears, and lips. She raises her hips to my thrusts as they become faster while her hands tightly grasp the flexed muscles in my rear.
Sash throws her head ba
ck. Brilliant black and scarlet strands wisp through the air in front of me and spread across the pillow. I feel every muscle in our bodies flex together. As her stomach spasms against mine, I can’t control my release inside her. We clutch each other as our bodies convulse again and again, our faces buried in each other’s necks.
After our muscles calm, I lie on top of her, still inside. Her heart beats against my chest, and I feel her breath in my ear. I raise my head, look at the amber below my face, and fall further into the splendor of her eyes.
“I can’t be away from you anymore, Sash,” I say.
“We belong together,” she whispers.
Chapter 21
“Awaken,” I whisper.
Gold points of light spread through the crystal spikes overhead. I focus on the tiny creatures slowly twirling inside the clear ceiling, wondering how they know to react to only two words.
“Peace,” I whisper, and the Swirls fade to black.
Sash lies on her side facing me, her head resting on the pillow with a limp arm draped over my chest. I lie flat on my back, one arm nestled between her neck and the pillow. Her breath, steady and light in slumber, caresses my cheek as I stare straight up.
“Awaken,” I whisper again, kindling the golden sparks in the ceiling.
“Why don’t you sleep?” Sash drowsily asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I keep thinking about everything that’s happened to me in Krymzyn. None of it makes sense.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she replies.
“Eval told me she’s not even sure if my purpose here is telling. The Disciples don’t even need a Teller from my plane. They’ve already had one.”
“Maybe you were never meant to be a Teller.”
I turn my face to hers. “Then what am I, Sash? Why am I here?”
“I think you have to answer those questions.”
“The only answers I have right now are that I love you and I can’t stop seeing you again.”
“I feel empty when you leave,” she says.
“How would you feel if I stayed in Krymzyn all the time?” I ask hypothetically.
Sash takes my hand in hers before she answers. “When we sat on the Tall Hill long ago and you left, you took a part of me with you. I only feel whole again when you’re here. I feel complete with you, Chase. I want us to be together always. But I would never ask that of you.”
The emotions she expresses are an exact replication of everything I felt after I left her when I was seventeen, and feel with her beside me now. The message contained in her final sentence suddenly hits me.
“There’s a way I can stay here, isn’t there?” I ask.
“There’s a way,” she answers.
“What is it?”
“Chase, what if you stay here and I die?” she asks, almost pleading. “What if I’m killed by a Murkovin? Would you still want to be here if I met death? If you stay here, you can’t ever return to your world.”
“If it meant never having to leave you again, I’d be thankful for whatever time we have together.”
“I don’t want be the cause of you feeling like you made a mistake,” she says firmly. “I care too much for you.”
I sit upright and look down at her face. “I might die in my world, Sash. There’s a much better chance of this tumor killing me than there is of my living. I’ve seen death firsthand, just like you. It doesn’t scare me. I feel like my life is here with you. But if you die for some reason, I’ll still be content living in Krymzyn.”
Her facial expression never changes while she studies my eyes. “Would you be willing to risk your life to stay here?” she finally asks.
“I think I proved that a little while ago.”
She nods her head thoughtfully but doesn’t say anything.
“There’s something I can take in my world,” I explain to her silence, “that stops me from coming. I took it when we were younger, after the first time we met. It made me stop coming to Krymzyn until they removed the tumor from my head. I keep coming here because I want to, because I want to be with you. But if I die in my world, I won’t ever come back. If I’m healed, I won’t ever come back. The only way we can be together is if I stay here.”
Sash slowly sits up, pulls her knees to her chest, and wraps her arms around her legs. “When we’re children,” she says, “the Disciples tell us the story of the second plane. Krymzyn was the first plane created at The Beginning, existing before all else.
“During a period of Darkness, a brilliant light appeared in each of the four primary directions of the Infinite Expanse. A new plane of existence rose from the light—the second plane—but it traveled to a dimension outside of Krymzyn.
“The first Teller to ever come to Krymzyn visited from the second plane. His world, the Teller told the Disciples, consisted of four distinct quadrants, each vastly different than the other. Only one inhabitant lived in each quadrant. Those inhabitants were called North, South, East, and West.
“The Teller who came to Krymzyn, North, told the Disciples that each of those who dwelled on his plane possessed great physical power, mental awareness, and immortality if physically unharmed. But they each had a unique philosophy regarding how their plane should be shared.
“North wished to rule the other three, believing his intellect and strength were superior. East wanted each to share their quadrant openly with the other three, dwelling in harmony. South wanted each to ignore the other three and live isolated in their own quadrants. West desired each to exchange items from their quadrant for items from the other three.
“North, believing he was superior to all who existed, wanted Krymzyn to serve him when he visited this plane. The seven Disciples of that Era refused his demands. North was infuriated and tried to kill the Disciples. Due to North’s tremendous power, it required all of Krymzyn to destroy him.
“Several Darknesses passed before a new Teller arrived in Krymzyn, South, from the same plane as North. He told the Disciples of an event he and the others on his plane couldn’t understand. North had ceased to exist. The Disciples knew the only possible cause of North’s death on the second plane was his death in Krymzyn.”
“So if I die here,” I ask, “I die on my plane?”
“Yes. You’ll be dead on your plane,” Sash says. “The Teller South told the Disciples, after East and West realized North was dead, that East and West reached a compromise to share their plane without South. They attacked South, who then went into hiding in his quadrant. While in hiding, South returned to Krymzyn.
“Darkness never fell while South was here, so sap never flowed in the sustaining trees. Time passed, people grew taller, and the supply of sap was almost depleted.
“The Disciples traveled to the Mount of Krymzyn to look into the Reflecting Pool. Questions are often answered for us in the Pool. When they asked why South remained in Krymzyn, they were shown his death on his plane. East and West had found South while he slept in his hiding place and killed him. They learned that when he died in his world, because he was in Krymzyn when it occurred, he continued to live in Krymzyn.”
“What happened to South?” I ask.
“When the Disciples returned from the Mount, golden light appeared in South’s hands, giving him the sign for the Ritual of Purpose. He faced the Tree of Vision to determine if he had a purpose here.”
“And did he?” I ask.
“No,” Sash says, holding my eyes. “The Tree killed him. After his death, Darkness immediately fell, providing sap for the people.”
“So I could have my own Ritual of Purpose?”
“If you’re given the sign,” Sash says.
“How do I get the sign?”
“If the Disciples approve, Krymzyn will give it to you if it’s what you truly want. But if you don’t have a purpose here, Chase, you’ll meet death from the Tree.”
“I understand that,” I say. “Darkness never fell when South was here. It’s like Krymzyn didn’t want him here. I’ve been here three times
during Darkness.”
“That doesn’t mean you have a purpose here,” she says.
“There’s only one way to find out,” I reply. “Let’s go see the Disciples.”
Chapter 22
We quickly dress, and since it’s only two miles or so to Sanctuary from her habitat, Sash and I run there beside each other. We reach the top of a hill overlooking the Tree of Vision, the same hill we stood on to watch Cavu’s ritual. Eval and Tork sit on the edge of the meadow, branches gently waving in the air over their heads. When Sash and I walk down the hill, the two Disciples notice us and both stand.
“Tork has informed me of your encounter with the Murkovin,” Eval says to me when we reach them. She drops to one knee and bows her head. “You’ve shown great honor by risking your own safety to protect Krymzyn. For that, we are grateful.”
“I’ll do anything to protect Krymzyn,” I say, quickly bouncing off one knee.
Eval stands. “I believe you mean that, and in more ways than you may know.”
“Have you discovered how the Murkovin entered the Delta?” Sash asks Eval, obvious anger in her voice. It’s not anger directed towards Eval—just that Murkovin were anywhere near the trees that are so precious to her.
“We haven’t yet,” Eval says to Sash. “They must have found a way to cross the river at some place the Watchers can’t see.”
Sash looks away in thought.
“Maybe they swam across the river,” I say.
“Only Serquatine swim in Krymzyn,” Eval replies. “The river belongs to them. Neither Murkovin nor those in the grace of Krymzyn ever enter the water.”
“What are Serquatine?” I ask.
“Creatures who dwell at the source of the river,” Eval says. “They’re Guardians of the Infinite Expanse.”
Although intrigued by her answer, I worry that I might return to Earth at any time and want to get to my questions. “May I ask you a few things?”
“Of course,” Eval replies. “We’re always honored to share our ways with you.”
“When I’m here, almost no time passes on my plane, regardless of how long I’m in Krymzyn. But we all seem to age the same when I’m not here, like the same amount of time passes in my world and Krymzyn. How can that be?”