"It doesn't matter. You saw his face, Dylan. He's angry with you, and he may want to hurt you."
"Luke is pissed off, but I really don't think he will go to your boss. He won’t be that stupid.”
"He's angry." Tears burn the backs of my eyes as I remember the disgust on his face when he looked at me. “He hates me now, Dylan. He was finally opening up, and now he’s not even going to be able to see me without seeing the social worker who’s supposed to be helping his family and ended up sleeping with his brother.”
"Brooke, stop it. None of that’s true, and you know it. He’s been easy going and almost happy up until this last week. He’s just angry at me for punishing him. I’ll talk to him. I’ll be honest with him. I swear, I’ll make him understand how we feel about each other."
The doorbell rings, and we both look towards the living room, Dylan releases my hands, "Who the hell could that be?"
I stand behind him while he looks through the window beside the door. He looks back at me confused before opening it. Jax and Alex stand together on the porch looking nearly as pissed off as Luke.
Dylan asks, "What are you two doing here, and why are you ringing the doorbell? Where’s your key?"
Jax answers, "Because I feel like I’m at a stranger’s house right now. Just so that you know, Luke called. Now move the fuck out of the way and let us in.”
An angry Jackson is a fucking scary Jackson.
Just looking at him and hearing his anger causes me to take a step back and behind Dylan.
Dylan's tone is riddled with sarcasm when he says, "Well hell, by all means let’s take this showdown inside. I can’t wait for this.” I’m equally terrified of the emotions radiating off Dylan right now. There’s no way this is going to be pretty.
They walk in, and I pull Alex's arm, "What are you doing here?"
She jerks her arm from my hand and uses her best snarky voice, "I’d actually like to know the answer to that question myself, Brooke. What the hell kind of emergency are you helping Dylan, your client, with now? I sure as hell don’t see any of the kids here. But I do see an emergency.”
Before I can answer Jax speaks up, "Luke said he caught you two fucking."
Dylan looks like he’s going to lose it, but I can also see that how defeated he’s feeling. There is no reason to lie to these two anymore, and I have to try to salvage something here, "Let's go in the living room and talk."
They reluctantly follow me with Dylan and Jax shooting daggers at each other and Alex doing the same to me, though, I also see hurt and worry in her eyes.
Jax and Alex take one end of the sectional while I sit on the other. Dylan remains standing beside me, and I know he’s trying to display what remains of his authority.
I look over at Alex and Jax, not sure where to start. Jax, however, has it figured out, "How long has this shit been going on?"
I answer, "New Year’s Eve." Short, simple, and honest answers.
Alex and Jax's heads snap in my direction. Her jaw nearly drops to the floor in astonishment at this news. "Since New Year’s? You've been lying to me since New Year's Fucking Eve?"
Jax looks squarely at Dylan, "You told me you got it out of your system after that night?"
Now Alex turns to Jax, "You knew?"
He keeps his eyes on the two of us, but he answers her question, “I knew it was supposed to be that one night?”
“What the hell?” She shoots her gaze to Dylan. “Obviously you shared with your best friend, but mine couldn’t bother to tell me she had already planned to fuck her client after she swore over and over she wasn’t.”
I heave a sigh, “This is why I didn’t tell you, Alex. You would have talked me out of it. And yes, Jax knew because he kept you distracted so Dylan and I could leave together.”
“Oh! My! Fucking! God!” she screams at, basically, all of us. But then aims her anger, and hurt, at Jax, “You fucked me to distract me from our friends making this colossal mistake.” She nods her head, “Great job, Jax. Look where we are now.” She says snidely while sweeping her arms out toward Dylan and me, clearly pointing out the real problem.
He doesn’t even bother to look guilty, “No, Alex. You’re hot. We had a good time. My mistake that night is thinking that this was going to be a one-time hit so he could get over this attraction he had has, for Brooke. We’ll talk about us later.” He obviously doesn’t think now is the time to clear up the other elephant in the room.
Dylan sits down next to me and puts his hand on my thigh, and I know he’s pointing out our solidarity in this, and also probably to keep me calm.
Jax notices Dylan’s move and scoffs, "You said it worked. What about the chicks in the bars when we went out or the night you got drunk, and Luke picked you up smelling like cheap perfume and the night you went home with the girl a few months ago.” He looks over at me to see if I show surprise, which I don’t, even though I am. I do remember Dylan telling me he tried, and now I wish we would have talked about that some more.
“I didn’t do anything either night. When I went back to get my truck the night after Luke picked me up, I saw the bartender who told me I was too drunk to do that bar’s easiest piece of ass. The night you and I went out, I put her in her car and cabbed it home.”
“So you two have just been lying to everyone now, and for what goddammit?”
Alex nods at Jax’s questioning like she would like to know the answer to the questions as well, but I don’t miss the hurt on her face. Lying to my best friend all this time, has been so difficult, and I hate how devastated she looks now knowing I’ve been lying to her and probably thinking that she was just a pawn for Jax to play with so Dylan and I could have what was supposed to be our one night. Guilt is a bitch.
Finally, she speaks, and her broken voice nearly kills me, “I can't believe you. I tell you everything, always have, and you've been lying to me for almost five months. So, was it okay with you that I was getting fucked so that you could sneak off and get fucked?”
"Alex, I'm sorry. But that’s not how it was. Neither of us had any idea that you and Jax would….."
Jax interrupts, “Alex, that’s not how that night happened. What happened between us was entirely separate from these two. I just took you to the dance floor so they could sneak out. What happened afterwards was something we both wanted that night.”
"Save it." She sneers at Jax. Then she stands quickly heading for the front door, "I've gotta get out of here."
Jax turns to Dylan, "You two need to get your shit together. When Luke called I talked him out of reporting this to anyone, but he's pissed, and you need to deal with it quickly. I fucking told you to stay away from her, or it would all blow up in your face, and it sure as shit looks like it has."
With that caustic speech he leaves, and I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate. I sink further into the couch next to Dylan at a total loss on how to fix this. "This is so bad. They didn’t even give us a chance to explain anything. Jax is pissed at you and Alex is pissed at us all. I have to do something. Maybe if I explain things to Janice, she can help us. Or I can resign as your social worker, and she can assign someone else."
He shakes his head vigorously, "No, I'm not letting you do that. Luke isn't going to tell your boss. There's no reason to tell her. Once he’s cooled down enough to talk, I will fix this."
"How? What if he holds this over our heads to get out of trouble? You can't just give in and UN-punish him because he found out or secret."
"Brooke, that never crossed my mind, you don’t have to worry about that. I'm just going to talk to him about us. I’ll make him understand how important our relationship is and how important it is that he keep his mouth shut. I just need you to please trust me."
"I do trust you, but you are asking me to trust Luke too, and though I do for the most part, right now he’s really angry, even more than he was before he found us.”
I look at the clock noticing the time and remember a client coming in at 4:30. Actually, I’m t
hankful for the escape so that I can think. "I have to get back to work."
Dylan and I stand together, and he cups my face gently in his hands bending at the knees to bring us eye level. "Trust me, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Promise me you won't run and you won't talk to your boss or do anything until you and I can figure out how to fix this ourselves. We’re together in this, baby.”
I see the worry in his eyes that I’m going to run, and I can’t let him think that. He’s right, we are in this together, and we will have to work this out together. “I promise. I shouldn't have to work too late tonight, so I'll call you when I get home okay?"
He kisses me, and I leave to go back to my office. Inside I’m shaking with worry and hurting with guilt. At six, my reprieve is over, and I have to go home and face my emotionally devastated best friend.
Inside my apartment, Alex is waiting for me on the couch just staring into space lost in thought. I don't want to get into a screaming match with her, but I do owe her an explanation and an apology. I sit next to her on the couch and wait.
She turns to me and speaks more calmly than expect, "Since New Year’s?"
"Well officially a couple of weeks after that, but I did go home with him New Year’s Eve. That night I honestly thought I could just be with him one night. I thought, no, we both thought if we just got past the attraction we could move on professionally."
"I coulda told ya that was a bad idea."
I nod and say quietly, "I know you would have, and I didn't want you too. It was just supposed to be one night, but it turned into something so much more."
She huffs and before she can interrupt I say, "Please listen. Maybe it was always more. There was a physical attraction since day one, obviously, but it quickly became so much more. There is just something about Dylan that pulls me to him, and it's not physical. He is an incredible man Alex, and I'm in love with him."
She scans my face, "You're in love? Is he?"
I nod, "I think so."
"He hasn't said it."
"That part is complicated, but I'm telling you we love each other."
She sighs, "So it's not just a sex thing?"
"No of course not, I wouldn't risk my career or his family for sex, no matter how incredible it is."
"You have a lot on the line, Brooke. I hope you are sure about this."
"He does too, even more so than I do, but I'm sure I’m in love with him."
She slouches back into the couch and puts her feet up on the coffee table, she laughs, "You are so screwed my friend."
I laugh too and lean back with her, "Tell me about it."
"What are you guys gonna do?"
I shake my head, "I have no idea. We were just going to tell everyone after his case was final; now I don’t know. He says to trust him, which I do, but I just hope he and Luke don't get into a bigger fight. They are so much alike and who knows what Luke will do with the upper hand.
"I've only met the kid a couple of times, but he seems decent. I'm sure he won't turn you guys in."
I shrug, "This has been so hard not telling you Alex."
She lowers her head, "I'm sorry you felt the need to hide it from me, I truly am, but the thing with Jax hurts too, ya know. I don’t like to think I was being used to stay out of you and Dylan’s way.”
“I hate that you think that. Dylan or I neither one knew anything about you two sleeping with each other. Dylan would never suggest that. And I don’t think that’s the reason Jax slept with you. Dylan’s said several times that Jax thinks you’re hot, and he let his attraction be known long before that night. I hate seeing you hurt."
She smiles at me sadly, "I know, it's the same for me."
I nudge her side with my arm, "So why were you with Jax today?"
"Nothing as good as what you and Dylan were doing today. I had a free afternoon at the salon and went to hang out with Jax at the garage."
"But you aren't sleeping together?"
"No, we haven't slept together since January, but we became friends and still text and hang out occasionally."
"How have we not talked about this?”
She laughs, "We've both been busy."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too, and I won't judge you about this thing with Dylan. If you love him and know it's worth it, then I’ll have your back all the way.”
A knock on our door interrupts us, and she smiles, "That's probably for you. I'm going to my room."
She walks down the hall to her room leaving me to open the door to Dylan looking worried and helpless, much like I feel. I open my arms, and he moves right into them to give and receive comfort and reassurance.
We are going to get through this, together, come hell or high water. It's us against the world.
Chapter 37
Dylan
I’m a fucking wreck watching Brooke leave, especially seeing the fear in her eyes. I know Luke isn’t going to report Brooke. No matter how angry he is with me right now, I know he wouldn’t stoop to something like that. Pulling myself away from the open door, I check the time and realize it’s time to pick up the kids.
On the way home I half listen to them talk about their day, but I can’t pull my mind from the need to see Brooke. I know she said we would talk on the phone tonight, but I can’t wait that long. I need to see her now, so after showering, I tell Cassie that I need to go out for a while, and she’ll need to help the kids with their homework. Luke hasn’t come up from his room since storming out earlier, and I’m not going to attempt to talk to him until I see Brooke. Both of need time to cool off, and going to see Brooke will help calm me like it always does. I know it seems desperate, and there isn't a part of me that gives a fuck because I am desperate to be with her, to know that she is okay.
When she opens the door to her apartment and immediately opens her arms to me, I pull her in tight to my body, giving and receiving strength from each other. We stand in a tight embrace for long moments in her open doorway, neither of us saying a word.
She slowly pulls away, "I'm so glad you're here. We have to talk."
Shit. That’s the classic line spoken just before people break up. Fuck that. I'm not going anywhere without a fight. "Brooke, do you still trust me?”
She looks confused by my question, "Of course I do."
We make our way over to the sofa in her apartment, "Good because I came over to tell you that it's going to be okay. Today was fucked up, but part of me is glad it happened."
"You are?"
"Yeah, I hate not being able to tell anyone we’re together. I’m tired of all the sneaking around and lying. I’m sick to fucking death of hiding how we feel and only getting stolen moments.”
"I hate all that too, but Luke is so angry. Have you talked to him?”
I shake my head, "Not yet. I promise I will tonight, but right now I think we need a cooling-off period.”
"Dylan, if he tells anyone, we would be screwed.”
"I know, but really who is he going to tell that will get us into trouble?"
She wrings her hands, "I don't know. A teacher or a friend's parent they could all report it. Or the judge when he talks to them at the hearing. What if Luke tells him."
I gather her hands in mine, "Brooke, that’s not going to happen. The likelihood of that is fucking low. I’ll talk to him and make him see how much we care for each other, that this isn’t just some temporary fling. I know we can't go out in public until all this is over, but now we can be a couple. We could even tell the rest of the kids about us.”
She looks horrified at the thought, "I would love to tell the kids, but they’re easy to excite and accidentally let things slip. That can’t happen yet. We absolutely cannot risk them being put in foster homes. I can’t let that happen, Dylan.” There is real fear in her voice, and I don’t miss the fact that it’s paranoia about the kids being taken away instead of the threat of losing her job.
I know she’s right, but it still frustrates the hell out of me. It still doesn
’t stop me wanting to scream with frustration. I want to yell it from rooftops, take out a full page add, dammit, I would even hire a sky writer to let every fucking body know that I love Brooke Porter.
Wait, I love Brooke?
Oh, shit, I’m in love with Brooke.
"Okay, we won't tell the kids, but Jax damn well won't say anything, and I'm sure Alex won't either."
She smiles softly, "No, she's actually working on accepting it."
"Good. So that leaves Luke, and he and I will talk tonight. After that, it’s not going to be a huge deal anymore. Then very soon, as soon as fucking possible, we’re going live with our relationship.”
She grants me a brief smile before her face changes to one of intense concern, “Dylan, this is important, you have to go home and make sure Luke doesn't do something he will regret. I can't live with myself if the kids end up in foster care because of me."
Her hands tremble in mine, so I pull her onto my lap to hold her closer. I can tell she’s gone to a far off place, and I want to pull her back to the present with me. I kiss the top of her head, "That isn't going to happen. What's going on with you, Brooke? Talk to me."
She pulls her head up to look at me, "I just...I feel like I've failed. My first family as a social worker, and I fall in love and bring possible danger to their doorstep. I know what foster care is like, and I'll be damned if I will see any of the Monroe children go to one. It may sound crazy considering I take kids to foster homes several times a week.
Something about the way she says she knows what foster care is like is telling me she has personal experience in the system. "Brooke, were you in foster care?"
She nods, "Temporarily, yes, but that’s not the point."
"I think it is, did something happen?"
She shrugs her shoulder like the answer to my question is no big deal. But I can tell it made her uncomfortable to have to answer. This causes my heart to start a pounding rhythm, "Not really. I just know foster care can be a blessing, but sometimes it can be hell. And I also know that people fall through the cracks.”
I brush her temple with my lips and remind her, "Open book, babe."
Unsocial Page 52