by Jane Corry
His voice drops as though he would rather not say the next bit. ‘It was my idea to post an advert in the college she worked at for an artist-in-residence job there. We also … well, we paid one of my contacts in the prison admin office to shred the other submissions so that Alison appeared to be the only one to have applied.’
There’s a gasp of disapproval from the jury which I share. So much for the governor asking why he should choose me instead of the ‘many other applicants’ who were after the job! That was just a bluff to make it look as though they weren’t desperate. As for the ‘contact’ in admin, I’m shocked. Angela had told me about bribery in prisons but I hadn’t realized that outsiders like Lead Man got involved too.
‘We hoped,’ he goes on, ‘that the guilt over the accident – as well as the need to supplement her income – would make her take the job. And it did. But we still had to wait for Mr Wright to be moved. By then I’d joined her college class. It was a second tactic. My mission was to befriend her and try to extract a confession from her.’
‘Can you elaborate on the word “befriend”?’ says the prosecution’s barrister.
‘We became lovers.’
I cannot gasp now. Or talk. I am beyond sound. It’s not because of the jury looking at me. Or Robin. Or Lily. Or Kitty laughing. It’s because the betrayal and embarrassment are far deeper than any cut I could ever have inflicted on myself.
Robin gets up and hands me a note. ‘This is why we needed you to go through the new witness statement. When you wouldn’t, we tried to exclude it on the grounds of your relationship, but our application was refused.’
‘Can you tell the court what the accused told you?’
‘Yes. A similar story to the one she gave to my client.’
‘You are referring to the document which was discovered torn up in the sanitary bin at the prison?’
‘I am. During the last time we were together, Alison told me that she pushed her sister into the road.’
My mother lets out a little cry. More of a whimper. The jury is glaring at me. Every one of them.
‘But there is more to it than that.’ Lead Man’s deep voice rings out. ‘She told me that her sister and the friend had witnessed the accused having sex with Mr Wright at a party held in his house. Alison alleged that this had been rape, but that she had nevertheless been scared of telling her mother and stepfather. However, when Kitty and Vanessa threatened to tell her parents they’d seen her having sex, she gave her sister a push into the road. So you could say that she was provoked.’
He is pre-empting the defence that Lily had been going to use. Why? Is he trying to protect me? Crispin’s face is dark: his brows knitted in anger. Clearly he isn’t happy about his investigator helping the other side.
‘Please stick to the facts, Mr Bowles. Can you tell us what else Alison told you?’
The jury is riveted. They are motionless. Waiting for the axe to finally drop on my neck. I, in contrast, am twitching. Just like my sister Kitty. The twitches have become shakes. Huge judders of terror.
He looks at me with something like pity.
‘She told me that Crispin Wright wasn’t driving at all. It was his mother.’
61
September 2017
Kitty
Something big was happening. Not just inside her, where The Monster was hitting out so that her body felt as if it was being stretched until it would snap. But here. In this big room where Half a Sister Ali was in a glass box high above everyone else. She had a pretty gold locket round her neck. That looked familiar. Now where had she seen it before?
Was this a game, wondered Kitty. If so, she wanted to be in that box, where everyone would look at her instead. Nor would she mind a snog with that tall, dark man who had just been talking. And who was that new man over there – with handcuffs on – and horrible scars on his face? He had nice eyes, though. For a minute, Kitty was reminded of something.
I’m in love! How are we going to get him to notice us?
I’ve told you. Borrow my make-up and put it on before you get on the bus.
Who was that speaking in her head?
Then Kitty stopped trying to think so hard because everyone was talking and shouting. It was worse than the home, where they were always arguing over which programme to watch.
And now Friday Mum was crouching over her, looking all upset. ‘Did you really threaten to tell me about your sister and that boy? I understand if you did.’
Maybe it would make it better if she shook her head. But it came out as a nod.
‘Really?’
Friday Mum’s face changed. Her eyes went cold. Kitty felt a nasty chill going through her. Then the tall, blonde woman in the long black dress came up to them. ‘We need to talk. The recess won’t be very long.’ The woman knelt down next to her. ‘I’m Lily, the barrister for your sister. Would you like to come along with me, Kitty?’
She liked this woman, who spoke to her as if she was a real person. Not everyone did that. ‘But I want my turn in the bloody box,’ Kitty yelled as they followed Barrister Lady into a little room with Friday Mum pushing. ‘It’s not fair.’ She hammered the side of the chair with her good hand to make the point.
‘Stop it,’ said Friday Mum in a cross voice she’d never heard before.
As soon as Lily closed the door, Friday Mum burst into tears. ‘Why didn’t Ali tell me that Crispin … I can’t even say the word.’
Lily took her hand. ‘Sometimes a woman feels that a rape was her fault, even when it wasn’t.’
Friday Mum nodded, big tears streaming down her face. ‘I get that. Kitty … I know she wasn’t always very nice to Alison. She was prickly. But I hadn’t realized how bad it had got.’
Lily smiled. ‘Children can be rather horrible to each other sometimes.’
The Monster gave a big kick. As it did so, Kitty had a flash of herself as a small child playing with some plastic bricks. ‘Shall I help you build a tower?’ Ali had said, kneeling next to her.
‘No. Go away.’ Then Kitty had knocked the bricks flying so Ali couldn’t join in. Because if her sister did that, she might build a better tower than Kitty’s.
‘I should have interfered more,’ sniffed Friday Mum. ‘But I didn’t want to annoy David. Her father got jealous. And he adored Kitty. Thought she was perfect.’
Her father adored her? The flabby-faced man? But he’d done something wrong. He’d … For a minute then, Kitty swore she almost had it. But then it was gone.
The Monster launched another assault. ‘Fuck off,’ yelled Kitty.
‘She’s getting upset,’ said Friday Mum. ‘It’s because she’s picking up on this.’
‘I’m not a “she”!’ roared Kitty. ‘I’m me.’
‘Maybe she shouldn’t come back in with us.’
Lily laid a hand on Friday Mum’s arm. ‘If you can bear it, I think she should. It might help.’
‘But …’
There was a knock on the door. A woman in uniform stood there. ‘Time,’ she said. Great! Kitty clapped her hands together. Maybe it was her turn now to go in that box. Half a Sister Ali had hogged it for long enough.
But Ali was still there. It wasn’t fair! When Kitty began to shout again, Friday Mum whispered that if she wasn’t quiet, she’d have to go out. Then the man with the scary face started to talk.
‘I was learning to drive. Mum used to let me practise on the way to school. But we were late that morning and she said it would be quicker if she drove. I … Well, I didn’t want her to.’
‘Why not?’
This question came from a man in a long dark dress.
Scary Face said something so quiet that she had to strain to hear him.
‘Because she’d been crying all night and was in no fit state. She and my father … well, they’d been having difficulties. That morning, they’d had another row on the phone – he was in London during the week. Mum was really distressed.’ He ran a hand over his face as if he wanted to block out the imag
e.
‘Can you tell us what happened next?’
‘Yes.’
Scary Face was looking straight at Alison. ‘We were nearly there. But suddenly, there were these girls in the road in front of us. Mum didn’t stand a chance. No one could have stopped in time.’
Was he crying? Duncan cried sometimes, in the home.
‘Why did you go along with Miss Baker’s claim that you were driving?’
He looked down at the ground. ‘My mum and I were very close. I wanted to protect her like any good son – especially as my father had behaved so badly to her.’ He shrugged. ‘Dad used to say I had an overdeveloped conscience when it came to Mum but she needed me. Dad wasn’t … well, he could be pretty vile to her. Anyway …’ His voice rose with distress here. ‘She was dead! Killed outright on the spot.’ His eyes filled with tears. ‘I wasn’t going to let her memory be tarnished. I’d rather take the blame myself especially as it was partly my fault anyway.’
Poor man. He sounded so upset. There was a boy on television who said he had killed someone when really it had been his mother. They’d both ended up in prison. But that had just been a story. This was real. At least, Kitty thought it was.
‘I also thought that I’d get off because it was the girls’ fault.’ He gave a strange laugh. ‘But it didn’t work out that way. At first, I just accepted my fate. I deserved it and, besides, I’d lost the will to live after what happened to Mum. But the longer I stayed in prison, the angrier I got. When Dad died two years ago, I inherited some money and used it to hire a private detective. James Bowles …’
Kitty must have nodded off a bit – it was so hot – because when she woke, the clock hands had moved round. But Scary Face was still speaking.
‘Last September, James discovered that Alison was working at a local authority art class. He also found out that HMP Archville was looking for an artist in residence. So he printed out the vacancy ad and paid someone to drop it off, hoping it would tempt Alison. He could tell from the area she lived in that she wasn’t that well off.’
He was actually looking rather pleased with himself. ‘It was a long shot but it worked. I’d also instructed him to get close to Alison in the college class he’d already joined.’
Half a Sister was looking as though someone had hit her in the stomach.
‘I was going to try and do the same when I got transferred to the prison. The good thing was that she didn’t recognize me.’ He rubbed the side of his cheek. ‘I’ve changed. And I, for my part, pretended I hadn’t recognized her.’
‘What exactly happened on the day of the assault in prison?’
‘She started it!’ His eyes were gleaming angrily. ‘I was just trying to talk to her, but she yelled out that I was strangling her. This bloke came in – Stefan. Had this thing for her, he did. He tried to hurt me so I belted him back. It was self-defence.’
‘Yet later you cut Stefan’s throat with the glass.’
There was a furious glare. ‘That was self-defence too. He’d have done the same to me if I hadn’t got in first. But before that, I made Alison write down what really happened. That’s when she admitted that she pushed her sister into the road.’
The scary man was looking round the court. ‘It’s the truth.’
No. A very important fact was missing. Kitty knew it. What the fuck was it?
‘And is it true that you raped Alison as a teenager?’
‘I didn’t see it as rape. I could tell she fancied me.’ He ran a finger over the scars on his face. ‘Everyone did. I looked different in those days.’
‘Did you rape Alison or not?’
‘No. I didn’t.’
Something horrible was happening inside her now. Something Kitty couldn’t describe. ‘I don’t feel well,’ she babbled. But no one was listening. Everyone was shouting in the court. A woman in a wig – just like one of the judges on telly! – was calling for silence and Lily was now talking.
‘The relationship between sisters can be a very complex one. It can be fraught with jealousy and love at the same time.’
Many of the women in front of her were nodding. Kitty looked up at Half a Sister in the glass box. She had her face in her hands. The Monster gave a huge lurch inside. Suddenly all Kitty wanted to do was get up there and hold Ali in her arms. Cuddle her. Tell her that she was her friend. Tell her that someone here hadn’t been telling the truth. She knew that. But she just couldn’t remember who. Or even what the lie was.
The Monster dealt her stomach another huge blow, as if it was just as frustrated as she was. Then something really weird seemed to happen down below.
‘Dear Lord,’ screamed Friday Mum suddenly, looking down at the pool of water on the ground. ‘Can someone help us? Now!’
62
September 2017
Alison
My side and Crispin’s are making their individual summing-ups now. When they’re finished, the jury will retire to decide my future. ‘Would you like me to sit with you?’ Robin had asked.
‘No thanks.’
I couldn’t look him in the eye.
So, now I’m on my own in a locked side room, where I sit and think about what’s just happened.
When Clive revealed what I’d told him about Crispin not being the driver, there was a gasp like a giant wave going round the court.
I knew from the jury’s faces that any sympathy about my rape had been outweighed by my lies about who was driving. Why would they believe my story about being abused if I would lie about something like who had run down my sister? Mind you, I’d always wondered why Crispin had gone along with my claim that he was driving. Part of me is touched that he took the blame for his mother’s memory.
Now I spend some time washing my hands. When I glance in the mirror, I barely recognize myself. My hair is messy from having run my hands through it – something I always do when stressed. Lead Man used to tease me about it.
‘Do you have a pain?’ asks the officer as I bend over.
I shake my head, not wanting to tell her that yes, I do have a pain. A crippling pain of betrayal in my chest.
After what seems like hours but the clock tells me is thirty-seven minutes, Lily opens the door. ‘The jury has reached its verdict,’ she says.
So soon? The barrister’s mouth is set as we walk back into the court. Robin touches my arm. ‘This could be good,’ he says reassuringly.
I know he’s just trying to make me feel better. The jury might have instantly decided I am guilty.
In the courtroom I search for Crispin. He isn’t there. Nor is Lead Man. Maybe it’s just that I can’t see them. The court is packed. Dear Lord, there are Vanessa’s parents! Despite the passing of the years I recognize the mother all right, with her high model’s cheekbones. She is staring right at me. Hatred is written all over her face.
I try to concentrate on the words that are ringing round the court but my ears are humming. It’s as though I am under water. For a minute, I am back in the past, swimming in the bay with Robin. We are taking turns to see who can stay under the water for longer. Once – I’d forgotten this until now – I’d stayed under for so long that he had dived down and brought me up again, spluttering. I was laughing. He was cross. ‘I thought something had happened to you.’
The forewoman of the jury is standing up. She is very small. Petite, like a hummingbird in a bright red dress. The Court Clerk is speaking. Once more, my ears are buzzing so much that I cannot hear the exact words.
But I do hear the next one.
‘Guilty on all counts.’
There is a roar around me. People are standing up. ‘Send the bitch to prison!’ screams someone. It comes from the direction of Vanessa’s parents. Robin looks as though someone has hit him with a mallet. Lily appears disappointed.
But me?
I am relieved. It is exactly what I deserve.
63
September 2017
Kitty
Loads of memories are returning now. Every ti
me The Monster kicks, another one comes back.
How she used to love the sea! Until that time when the freak wave had nearly got her. If it hadn’t been for Half a Sister Ali, she might have drowned. Her sister had rushed in and dragged her out of the water. She’d been small then. In fact, she could distinctly remember being cross because she hadn’t been able to get out on her own and had to rely on Ali saving her.
Bloody hell. Where had that come from?
‘Breathe, Kitty. Breathe.’
That was Friday Mum’s voice. Breathe? How could she when she felt as if she was being pulled down under the water all over again. The pain was lashing at her like waves. Her body seemed to have taken on a mind of its own. What was this creature inside doing to her?
‘I need to go back into court,’ she yelled. ‘I need to tell them something.’
‘Calm down, Kitty. It will be all right. Another breath. That’s it. Good girl.’
But what? What was it that she needed to say?
Plaits.
Sunshine.
A funny smell.
A secret.
A locket.
A summer house.
Something else. More important.
Think, Kitty tells herself. THINK!
64
September 2017
Alison
I’m allowed a short time with Robin and my barrister downstairs before they take me away.
‘Where’s Mum?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know.’ Lily takes my hand. It strikes me that she is a different kind of barrister from the type I had imagined. (Not that I’ve much experience.) This woman is kind. Compassionate. More like a friend. ‘Listen. I know this might seem like the end of the world right now, but we will appeal.’
‘No,’ I say sharply. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘That’s quite common,’ she says. ‘Some people have just had enough of the system by now and that’s understandable. But you were pushed, Alison. Mentally speaking. Don’t you see that? There were mitigating circumstances. An appeal court might reduce your sentence.’