by Susana Mohel
“Don’t try and evade the issue by claiming I’m in shock, and don’t you dare ‘honey’ me as if you cared,” I glare.
It’s adding insult to injury to callously use that sweet term of endearment. I can’t forget how he used it all the time when we were young, naïve, and thought our love would last forever.
Joel rolls his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“Woman, I’m going to get the truth out of you, even if I have to...”
“Beat it out of me?” I raise my eyebrows challengingly.
“I would never hit you, baby. At least not in the way you’re implying,” he smirks. “Trust me, when the time comes, I’ll make sure you enjoy every second when I put you over my knee and turn those pretty little ass cheeks of yours a nice shade of pink.” Annoyingly, the thought of being spanked by him turns my face cheeks a nice shade of pink too, telling Joel how much his words turn me on. “So, come on, Tara spit it out. What in the hell is it that’s gotten you so riled up?”
“Only that you’re planning to sell the ranch, that’s all,” I say, raising my voice and looking him in straight the eye to gauge his reaction. Surprise, is what I see reflected there.
Joel pulls away to look at my face but doesn’t release me.
“I see. And what else?” he demands.
“Nothing,” I reply evasively because I find it unbearably difficult to say out loud that Cassie’s having his baby.
“What else did you hear, Tara?” he persists.
“You know very well what you talked to her about.”
“I’m asking you and I want an answer. Tell me!”
Anger bubbles up in my throat. He’s forcing me to say the words to humiliate me.
“That Cassandra is having your baby!” I yell. “That you two have been fucking like bunnies and now you’ve gotten her pregnant! Yay! Well done you for knocking her up! Just don’t expect me to throw her a baby shower.”
The bastard laughs. Yes, he actually has the nerve to laugh.
“Typical Tara. You overhear half a conversation and immediately make all kinds of assumptions,” he chuckles.
How in the hell dare he?
I’m so glad he can find some hilarity in this god-awful mess because as far as I’m concerned, this is anything but hilarious.
But all he can do is fucking well laugh.
This means war.
.
ღ
Joel thinks this is funny?
Seriously?
He doesn’t stop laughing, even when he sees it’s totally pissing me the hell off. That just makes me even more furious, and I have a strong desire to knee him in the nuts—hard. That’d wipe the stupid smile right off his face.
Fuck Joel. Fuck him for humiliating me, for turning me into some kind of a crazy woman I barely recognize. I launch myself at him, kicking and screaming in frustration as I unravel into a howling banshee.
I attack him with all my strength yet the brute doesn’t even flinch.
It’s pathetic—no, I’m pathetic. He makes me feel like a sad loser, when I’m trying so hard to be the exact opposite. How dare he treat me with such a lack of respect. I don’t deserve this and I refuse to be demeaned by him. He’s the one in the wrong, disrespecting me, playing me for a fool, so I’m hugely satisfied when I finally manage to land a nice, loud, satisfying slap to his face. Not so funny now is it, Mr. Joel Sadger?
“I warned you before about raising your hand to me,” he growls grabbing hold of my wrist in a vise like grip. At least he’s no longer laughing at me, but the second there’s a whisper of skin to skin contact, the passion simmering between us flares up again.
Before any kind of retort can escape from my lips, his mouth crushes mine in a crude assault.
I’m immediately torn.
The sensible, logical part of me knows I should be doing everything possible to repel him.
And yet I yield to him in a heartbeat.
I could argue that I have no choice, that this huge behemoth of a man is forcing me, but that would be a lie.
I want this.
I want him.
Every touch between us is electric.
So. Fucking. Good.
His ferocious kiss deepens into something even more stark, more primitive.
He wants this.
He wants me.
Joel buries his hands in my hair, gripping me, maneuvering me to deepen the kiss. My hands have a mind of their own, as they explore the powerful muscles flexing under his shirt…
Wait, wait, wait… hold on here…
What the hell am I doing? Thirty seconds ago I was fighting with him, now I’m submitting to him?
Oh shit! He’s so good at this, at manipulating and dominating me. I have to put a stop to this right now, before I hand over every last shred of my self-respect to him along with my traitorous body.
“No! Let go of me, Joel.”
He pauses and pulls away from me just a tad, and while we both stand there panting, I try to clear my head enough to work out his true agenda.
Undeniably, he’s as physically attracted to me as I am to him. That’s how it’s always been between us, but is Joel taking advantage since he’s very aware of my weakness for him? Employing that physical spark between us to distract me and deflect awkward questions?
Joel sucks in a breath, his nostrils flaring as he breathes heavily. He’s certainly putting on a good act, I’ll give him that, and I’m almost convinced.
Until I think of him and Cassandra.
No, I can’t let this go any further. I have to put a stop to things right now.
“Let me go,” I ground out. “Don’t touch me! I know that you only married me to...” The humiliation burns in my throat, preventing the words from forming.
“What?” Joel frowns as he cups my face in his hands. “I know why I married you, but I’d love to hear what you think my reasons were.”
“You know why,” I roll my eyes. “You wanted my ranch, that was your real reason for entering into this marriage, wasn’t it? Revenge for the way my father treated you. God, I bet you couldn’t believe your luck when I turned up out of the blue and presented you with the perfect chance to get your hands on Redlands. No wonder you seized such a golden opportunity with both hands. And by insisting on a ‘real marriage’, you get some bed action thrown in as an added bonus. Naturally, your bitch-face-money-grabbing girlfriend is none too happy about this, which is why she keeps popping up and doing her best to get between us. But you’re telling her she has to back off for now, not wanting to risk the marriage getting annulled on the grounds of non-consummation.”
“Christ, Tara, is that what you really believe?” He looks appalled as he shakes his head in apparent disbelief.
“Sure is, you piece of shit,” I manage to push hard enough to force him back a couple of steps, so I’m able to slip out of his hold and run to my room.
But he comes right after me, his footsteps echoing on the wooden floor as he gives chase, like a lion stalking his prey.
“Why do you assume the worst of me, Tara? Why don’t you ask me straight out what I really want?” he shouts angrily.
“Because I don’t want any more of your lies,” I yell back, with the sanctuary of my room just a few short steps away.
“But I’m not lying. I’m not the kind of man you’re making me out to be,” he insists, catching me by the arm.
I turn, unable to resist laying it out for him.
“Aren’t you, Joel? Have you never lied to me? Has it conveniently slipped your memory? You know, that promise you once made, the one where you solemnly vowed you’d come and get me, that I should have faith that you’d never leave me? Ring any bells? Yet like that freaky magician Copperfield, you vanished and never came back. So, yeah, I’d say you’re exactly that kind of man.”
He stands there with clenched fists, looking set to explode.
“Seeing as you have such a low opinion of me, it begs the question—w
hy did you come looking for me?” he challenges, standing back and folding his arms over his chest.
Because I’m an idiot.
Because my heart believed in him when my head didn’t.
Because something in me refused to give up on him.
Because I’d run out of options, out of time.
I refuse to answer him, so I open the bedroom door to make my escape, but he follows, slamming the door behind us. Now I’m trapped with nowhere left to run.
“Tara, for the love of God, just hear me out, will you?” he roars.
“I’m sick of empty promises! Why on earth would I want to listen to any more?”
“Because you should know that I have no intention of selling the ranch.”
“Whatever you say, Joel, but it’s irrelevant. First thing tomorrow, I’m instructing a lawyer to act on my behalf and protect my interests, protect Redlands.”
“Don’t bother wasting your time or money, Tara,” he states. “We’re husband and wife. You willingly, without any kind of coercion, signed over control of the ranch to me, your legal husband.”
“We may have gotten married, but legally I’m not your wife yet. The marriage hasn’t been consummated, and it’s not going to be,” I retort.
“Oh really? You sure about that?”
Suddenly, he yanks me into his arms and walks me backwards until my legs hit the edge of the bed, where he throws me down. Then he kisses me, devouring me.
He’s staking his claim. Taking what’s his.
And I let him. Because Joel does own me. I’m drowning in him. No matter how I try to resist, I’m hooked and he’s reeling me in.
He pulls down the thin straps of my dress as he kisses me, while I tug and pull at his shirt. My body arches as he trails hot kisses down my neck. This can only end in disaster, but I no longer have the strength to resist.
My dress is tossed across the room, quickly followed by his shirt.
“Joel, we should stop, this is a really bad idea,” I protest weakly as he kisses my breasts, nipping at my over-sensitive nipples. “No good can come of this, don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t. I’m done waiting. This is where we start over, make our marriage real. Where I make love to my new wife. Where we start a new chapter in our lives,” he whispers, the fierce tenderness in his voice disarming me.
Yes, I want this too, a voice whispers in my head. I want this man, this life. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
His hands are on my body, removing the rest of my clothing, and in the blink of an eye, I’m naked in his arms. I’m not shy or embarrassed, because everything about this feels so right.
This is happening. I can feel the physical proof as his hand slides under my hips, lining me up with the hard outline of his erection under his jeans.
Joel!
I moan his name, but his mouth steals my words. My body aches with a fierce need to be filled by him. I’ve been empty and incomplete without him all these years. Soulless. There’s never been anyone else, only him. I’ve been barely existing, nothing more. Now I’m finally coming alive again.
Joel slides one, then two fingers into me, arousing me until I’m seeing stars and about to explode. He gazes deeply into my eyes as gets me to the place he wants me to be.
“Joel!” I scream, as thousands of multicolored orgasmic stars appear in my vision.
“That’s it, baby, give it to me,” he murmurs.
But it’s not enough. I want him, I need him inside me so badly that I can’t wait another second. Thankfully, he’s just as impatient, quickly discarding the rest of his clothes before covering me with his big, powerful body and groaning loudly as he sinks slowly, deeply into my wet heat, stretching me to the limit to take all of him. I cry out once he starts moving inside me, as we find our rhythm together in a perfect dance.
He whispers my name over and over as he threads his fingers through mine and pins my hands above my head. As he slides in and out of me, my hips rise of their own volition to match him stroke for stroke.
His body invading mine is pure heaven. How can something this right possibly be wrong? Maybe it’s the endorphins, but now I’m certain we’re meant to be together, and I wonder why on earth I fought so hard against the inevitability of this, of us, for so long. So much time wasted, so many lonely nights endured without him. Should I have gone looking for him sooner? I don’t know, all I can think right now is that however we got here, I’m happy that Joel is my husband. He’s here with me, no one else and certainly not that bitch Cassandra.
“You’re mine, Joel,” I growl possessively.
Only mine.
“Yes, Tara, yours!” he cries out as he reaches his peak, taking us both over the edge, as we climax together.
Perfection.
Neither of us speaks as we come back down, lost for words. So many emotions, so many things that can’t be put into words.
Joel rolls onto his side, taking me with him, cradling me in his arms, gently nuzzling my neck. I don’t mind that he needs a shave, that his scruff feels scratchy against my skin. That’s how a man should feel—rough and hard around the edges.
I’m totally shattered and completely exhausted, so I quickly succumb when sleep reaches out to me.
I fall asleep curled in my husband’s strong arms, using his broad chest as my pillow, his steady breathing soothing and calming me.
Tomorrow is another day.
A new dawning.
A new day.
But there are still poisonous secrets festering between us. Question is, will this tender new beginning between us be strong enough to weather them?
“Are you ready to go?”
I sigh and give a reluctant nod. It feels so good to be in Joel’s arms, it’s my favorite place in the entire world. But we can’t stay hidden away from reality forever, however much we want to. We need to head out before the other ranch hands start returning, in case they spot us leaving our secret love nest.
“Have you decided what movie you want to see?” he asks. We’re heading to the out of town movie theatre, where hopefully no one will see us.
“Anything you like, just as long as it doesn’t have any fighting, guns or loud explosions,” I reply, kissing his neck.
He laughs. I love his laugh, it’s one of the best sounds ever.
“That sure narrows down any kind of a decent film—don’t I get a say in the matter?”
Truth is, doesn’t matter what film we see. I have other plans.
“I’m wearing a dress, Joel,” I murmur. “We’ll be in the dark, with hardly anyone around. Just think of the possibilities.”
“You, my darlin’, are a very naughty thing, putting such tempting thoughts in my head,” he replies with a grin as he kisses me, one time, twice and one more. “You are the temptation and I am a confessed sinner.”
But we don’t get to act out our lust filled fantasy.
My father suddenly storms in, Joel is torn from me and virtually thrown across the room, while I’m pulled aside.
We’ve been found out.
And my father is incandescent with rage, his face completely red.
“How dare you touch my daughter,” he roars, punching Joel in the jaw, throwing him to the ground and launching a vicious attack on him.
I scream like crazy to make him to stop, but I’m powerless to do anything to help Joel, since Pete, the foreman Daddy brought with him, is holding me back and ignoring my pleas. I’m guessing he’s the one who betrayed us.
Over and over I beg my father to stop, and plead for Pete to do something, to intervene, but he does nothing.
By the mad look in his eye, I fear my father might actually kill Joel, especially when he doesn’t fight back, he just lays there and allows my father to beat him.
Finally, my father pauses in his vicious attack.
“Pete, call the police,” he commands the foreman, breathing heavily as he gathers himself, raking his hands through his hair to smooth it back in place. “I’m done d
ealing with this piece of shit. Hopefully, he should have a clearer idea of his place now, so I’ll let the sheriff take things from here.”
“No, Daddy, please. Joel hasn’t done anything,” I beg.
“Hasn’t done anything? He had his dirty filthy hands all over you, that’s all I needed to see to confirm what Pete said was going on behind my back. I’m only doing my duty by making sure this rapist never gets the opportunity to lay a finger on you again. I’ll rest a lot easier knowing justice has been served, once this piece of scum is safely locked up in some hell hole jail with the keys thrown away.”
“You can’t do that, Daddy. Joel’s not a rapist, we’re in love and he didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to. There’s no point getting the police involved, I won’t testify against him, and you can’t make me—I’m over the age of consent since my birthday two weeks ago. And if you throw him out, I’ll just go with him, because I love him.”
My father knows I’m not making idle threats, and that if I decide to go with Joel, he’ll have little choice but to stand back and watch me go. But he doesn’t give up that easily.
“You imagine yourself in love, silly naïve young girl that you are, and think you have all the answers, but trust me, I know better. There’s more than one way of dealing out justice, and rest assured that cocky young good for nothing cowboy is not getting away with seducing my daughter and stealing her innocence,” he retorts furiously.
“No, Daddy, it’s not like that! You’re making it sound sleazy when it’s not!” I yell, desperate to make him see reason. “This is serious, it’s the real deal. We love each other, we want to spend the rest of our lives together and we’re getting married.”
The day after my birthday, we went to the civil registry to fill in all the necessary paperwork. We’ve just been waiting for the right time to tell everyone about our plans.
But there was never going to be a right moment, was there? Now the bombshell has dropped and all hell has broken loose. This is all my fault; Joel wanted to do things properly, go to my father and ask for my hand in marriage, but I begged him to wait, knowing it would burst our perfect bubble, burying my head in the sand instead.