by Kate Benson
“I don’t think so,” he shrugs, glancing up with me before I feel his gaze return to my lips. “But if it does, it won’t hurt. Good fishin’ weather.”
“Well, true as that may be, I’m not a fan of the rain,” I remind him, pushing my nerves away as best I can before I shake the feeling and clear my throat. “Anyway, I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay, I’m going to finish loading the truck.”
I nod quickly and turn back toward the house, smiling wide when I see his mother walking outside onto the porch.
“Hi Mary!” I call out, greeting her with a wave.
“Hi, baby. You just getting in from work?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I nod, slowing my steps.
“Did you have a good day?”
“Yes, ma’am. I did. How was your day?”
“Well, I got to spend time with my favorite boys, so it was good,” she smiles, bending to pat Rocky on the head before handing him a small treat.
“Ma, please don’t feed him anymore of those. You’ve already given him four since we got home.”
“Oh, leave me alone,” she waves him off, rolling her eyes. “This might be the only grandbaby I get out of you. Let me make him good and rotten.”
“Oh, my God,” Nate shakes his head dramatically, the exchange making me laugh to myself.
I give her another wave before I step inside, grabbing an apple and taking rushed bites as I change into something more suitable for the lake. By the time I make it back outside, Nate’s finished packing the truck and is waiting for me on the porch with Mary, his lips quirking up slightly when he hears my door shut.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,” I call back.
“Alright, let’s get it,” he winks, turning to kiss his mom on the cheek before moving toward the truck. I wave at her once more and meet him at the hood of his pickup, his eyes falling discreetly on my body not lost on me as he pulls the door open and waits for me to climb into the passenger’s seat. He closes me in, smiling when I give Rocky a sweet scratch under his chin and moves around the hood before slipping behind the wheel beside me. “You all set over there?”
“I am,” I nod, making his lips spread wide as he cranks the ignition and Sam Hunt begins pouring from the speakers. “Are you?”
“Hell yeah, baby,” he smiles, shifting the truck into gear with a smile. “Let’s go fishin’.”
Chapter Sixteen
Nate
“You’re insane!” she exclaims, her eyes wide as she stares back at me in shock, her lips curving into a small smile. “I don’t care how good he is on the drums, there’s no way he ever played with The Rolling Stones!”
“He said he did,” I chuckle, releasing my cast an inch or two before I reach for my beer and take a long draw. “He’s got a picture with Mick Jagger and everything.”
“Well, I don’t buy it,” she shakes her head. “He lied his ass off in high school. He probably met an impersonator in a hotel lobby or something and forced him into a picture just so he could feed everyone that load of crap.”
“You think he’d do that?” I laugh, pulling an immediate nod from her.
“In a minute!” she insists, making me snort. “Think about how many girls he probably got with that story.”
“I don’t know…”
“Listen, when we were in the seventh grade, he was my lab partner on frog day and he told Mrs. Hannigan he couldn’t dissect because of his religious beliefs.”
“So?”
“So, he went to the same church as me!” she rails, pulling a loud laugh from my chest. “He was full of crap! I had to cut open a frog all by myself for that lyin’ little shit. I’ll never believe another word he says, especially if it’s about Mick Jagger.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” I sigh, my laughter fading. “He’s the manager over at the Tire Depot now, so either way, his career didn’t kick off.”
“Oh, my God,” she shakes her head dramatically. “You’re buying that line of crap from a tire salesman?”
“He was a good guy when I knew him.”
“Well, you must’ve known him back in eighty-eight because as of seventh grade, he was a real jackass,” she snorts, making me laugh hard again.
We’d been out here like this for the bulk of the afternoon, the crystal-like shine on the east end of the lake so bright in some places it gleams against her skin, highlighting the light dust of freckles resting over her shoulders. I’m not sure if it’s the easy night we just shared or the fact that the breeze is blowing just right, but something about the last few hours alone with Ava has changed me.
Somehow, I think it’s changed us both.
In a way, I’ve known this girl most my life, but in the last few hours, I feel like I’ve learned so much about her. We talked about her going to school, how she wanted nothing more than to be a nurse and her marriage had somehow stopped her from completing her degree. I encouraged her to enroll again, to follow her dream and the small smile she flashed me gave me a glimpse of the timid side she struggled to keep hidden away. She told me things about her childhood that I never knew, the places she’d traveled and the other places she’d yet to see but hadn’t given up hope on getting to someday. She never spoke the words, but there was an underlying quality about her tone that told me her ex is responsible for more than a few of her missed opportunities.
I want to ask, but I think better of it. We may have spent time together, gotten to know one another in ways neither of us thought possible only weeks before, but I’ve never been a prier. I’d rather give her the freedom and time to come to me when she’s ready, if she ever is.
Her past is her past for a reason. Not only that, I’m not a hundred percent sure I’m comfortable enough with mine to start demanding history lessons from Ava.
I’ve gotten so used to focusing only on being a good son and working hard in order to push away any potential relationship for fear of feeling that rift again, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be around someone who makes me feel something outside of obligation. Sure, I’ve been with women, dated a few, but nothing that stuck after the first big heartache. Since then, I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m not the relationship type. I’m a loner. A love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy, but the truth of it is that I’m scared to death.
Sometimes, it’s just easier to tell myself I don’t need anyone than to risk the break that comes with the fall.
What happens if she doesn’t fall right along with me? What happens if I put my energy into this thing with her and she decides she doesn’t want me back just as much?
It’s happened before and the emotional turmoil that followed was horrendous, absolutely fuckin’ terrible. After a tumultuous relationship followed by an earth-shattering break up that left me feeling inadequate and unwanted, it just didn’t seem worth it to go through again. I’d rather be alone and bored than with someone and face that misery again.
But that was a week ago. Hell, that could have been as recent as yesterday, but things with Ava are changing me.
Now, I ache to touch her, to trace the lines of her face and count the spray of freckles that threaten to kiss her collarbone. I need to know all the way deep into my roots what her skin tastes like, how it feels under my fingers and against my lips. I’d let her rip my heart out and thrash it against the waves across the shoreline just to get a glimpse of what it’s like to have her bare body next to mine, sticky with sweat and exhaustion as she catches her breath, gently dozing off to sleep against me. I’d beg her to break me until I think I might just die for just a moment of knowing what it’s like to have her.
I need Ava.
I need her in every sense. And in this moment, in the middle of the lake with the clouds moving in and the breeze moving just right across the water, her eyes locked on my lips tell me despite how hard she’s been fighting the same shit I have, she might just need me, too.
In this moment, I want to kiss her, really kiss her, more than I’ve ev
er wanted anything else in my life. Her eyes move back to mine and her cheeks redden just slightly as she returns her focus to my mouth and I know I can’t fight it anymore.
I lean in slightly and press my lips to hers, the initial slow burn quickly turning into something more than either of us could have predicted.
Her lips taste like sugar, her hot tongue on mine divine. She’s nervous at first and it shows in her hesitant release, but it isn’t long until she leans into me slightly, her hands falling on my chest and gripping the cotton of my t-shirt. I raise my free hand and cradle the back of her head, my fingers threading into her auburn hair and pulling her closer as I deepen the kiss. She releases a low hum into my mouth that threatens to somehow mend and destroy my soul all at once. When I pull away, we’re both panting, gasping for air in the most delicious way as our eyes flit back open to find each other
“You know, I think you were right,” I admit, savoring in the way her breathing hitches when my fingertips release her hair, gently tucking it behind her ear.
“About what?” she asks, her lips just a breath away from mine, the taste of her addicting.
“The rain,” I manage, my voice low and heavy as my gaze moves slowly from her lips to her eyes.
I watch her glance up at the sky, taking in the dark clouds above us just in time for the first drops to fall. She flinches just slightly as two kiss her skin, the simple and innocent gesture making my heart clench while the rest of my body goes in a more carnal direction.
“Do you think it’ll pass?”
“No,” I whisper low, pulling her eyes back to mine, seemingly surprised that I’m still staring at her with such captivation. “No, I don’t think this is going to pass, sugar.”
It’s more than obvious I’m talking about more than just the storm building in the sky overhead. There’s another tornado threatening us both and we feel it. We feel it more than we feel the raindrops that are now falling over us heavy enough to roll over my skin. She swallows hard, her eyes trained on mine as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and considers my words.
“So, what do you think you wanna do?”
“I think I want us to get out of here.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ava
By the time we pull up to Nate’s house, we’re both soaked and unable to keep our hands off each other. After kissing me like I’ve never experienced before in my life, he shoves the driver’s side to his truck open and tugs me across the seat, lifting me into his arms.
His hands are everywhere, my lips devouring the salt of his skin as he pushes the door open and Rocky runs past us, shaking the rain from his tawny fur before disappearing and leaving us on our own. Nate sets me on my feet, his eyes locked on mine as his chest heaves, pulling my shirt over my head before ditching his own. His lips return to mine and he kisses me even harder than before, the feel of his wide palm against my neck as he holds me in place stealing my senses and making my knees go weak.
“Fuck, Ava,” he husks against my lips, my hands sliding across his abs, still slick with sweat and rain. “You taste so good.”
Before I can respond, he steals my kiss once more before his lips slide slowly down my neck, making my eyes heavy, my breathing shallow.
A whimper leaves my chest and pulls a low groan of pleasure from his as he moves lower, his palm sliding lower to graze the top of my lace bra, making my jaw go slack as my back finds the wall. The force causes a low huff to leave my chest and his eyes move to mine in an instant.
“Do I need to stop?” he asks, his eyes asking questions his lips won’t yet speak and relaxing slightly when I shake my head.
“No,” I insist, blushing when his lips quirk up on either side. “Don’t stop.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he rasps before he lifts me once more. He makes his way through the small house, his lips never slowing as he carries me to his bedroom and comes to a stop at the edge of the bed. He lowers us together, his arms caging me in slightly as he traces my collarbone with his tongue. Slowly, he makes his way down my front, unfastening my bra and groaning when he takes in my breasts. “You’re so pretty,” he whispers, the sentiment in the sweet words making my heart clench for a moment before his mouth wraps around my nipple, pulling a gasp from me.
I’ve never been with a man outside of Eddie. Hell, aside from Eddie, I’ve only ever kissed two of them, but none of them could compare to this.
His lips satiate a thirst I didn’t know I harbored until I found him, the way I imagine the water tastes to the sand as it slams against the shore. Still, the nerves of what happened the last time I gave myself to someone, the inadequacies he’d implanted so deeply in my mind begin to pull me away from the moment, making me doubt myself in ways I’m not sure even I can completely understand.
My wayward thoughts begin to tug at me, my eyes pricking with my painful past until Nate’s tongue dipping into my navel pulls me back. As he grips my hips and tugs on my dampened shorts, peeling them down my legs before hovering over my midsection once more, my thoughts are only of him, of this moment.
“Ava,” he pants against my stomach, nuzzling me before his eyes flash up to find my jaw slack with desire. He stares into me as his tongue traces the edge of my panties. “Let me taste you.”
“Yes,” I manage, the feel of his fingers slipping beneath the thin, silk waistband and pulling my thong away making me lightheaded.
His eyes grow heavy as he takes me in, completely bare before him for the first time. The first time since Eddie. I shake the thought away, trying my best to focus on the way his hair shifts forward on his brow, the low growl leaving his heaving chest, the feel of his fingertips grazing my entrance.
“Fuck…” he husks, lowering his head to begin teasing my skin with his tongue, my hips involuntarily twisting with need as he grows closer. “Ava?” he whispers, his voice almost a whisper as his hot breath falls over my pussy, aching for him in ways I don’t think I’ve ever ached before. He glances up, finding my eyes already on his, desperate and needy. “I’m about to eat you alive, sugar.”
In the next breath, he flattens his tongue against me and slowly drags it upwards, taking the last of my cognitive thought along with it.
“Oh, my God!” I gasp, my hips bucking forward at the same time my hand falls into his hair, gripping his strands just as tightly as his palms hold me in place.
He releases a low hum of pleasure that vibrates against me, the sound of his name leaving my lips only spurring him on that much more. I’m on the brink of ecstasy, an orgasm like no other pushing me toward the edge in a matter of seconds before the thoughts come screeching back like a freight train.
He’s going to want to fuck you after this and you’re never going to be good enough to satisfy someone like Nate.
I shake the thoughts away, trying my best to keep my focus on how good he’s making me feel, the words of praise springing from his lips each time he comes up for air.
Eddie hated fucking you. Why else would he have cheated?
“You’re delicious, Ava,” Nate whispers, teasing my lips with his teeth before his tongue laps at me once more. “You taste like heaven.”
He comes to a stop once he reaches my clit and he teases me just enough to have my breathing coming out in pants.
“Nate…” I rasp, pulling the corners of his lips up just slightly before he releases a low groan. “I’m about to… Oh, my God…”
“That’s it, baby,” he husks, his nose grazing my skin before his tongue teases my center, making me tremble beneath him. “Come for me.”
His eyes stay locked on mine as his lips wrap around my clit and he begins to suck, finally sending me over the edge once and for all.
‘You’re worthless. You just lie there like a corpse,’ Eddie’s voice echoes in my mind, making my eyes pop open. ‘I can’t even get my dick hard with you.’
Dammit.
“Ava,” Nate whispers, moving up my front, his eyes heavy with need as his damp beard moves over
my skin, nestling into the crook of my neck. “You’ve got me so fucking turned on right now, baby.”
‘Mind your fuckin’ business. I’ll fuck whoever I want to fuck.’
“I can’t wait to climb inside you, sugar.”
‘You’re worthless.’
“I can’t,” I blurt, pulling his gaze to mine, my eyes filling with tears as humiliation fills my chest, making me hide beneath my hands as they move to cover my face. “Nate?” My voice comes out shaky and so low, he doesn’t hear me. By the time I gain my voice again, he’s about to push inside me and my throat is thick with emotion. “Nate, stop,” I manage, pulling his eyes back to mine. “I’m sorry, but we have to stop. I can’t do this.”
“What’s the matter? What did I do wro-?”
“Nothing,” I cut him off, shaking my head and swiping my tears away before I brave a glance at him. He’s staring down at me with concern, with fear that he’s crossed a line. I want nothing more than to wipe that doubt from his mind, but I have no idea how to do that. “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything, I just…”
“It’s okay,” he whispers, taking his turn to cut me off now as he shakes his head to calm my shaking hands. “Baby, it’s fine. You say we stop, we stop, okay?” I nod quickly in reply, Eddie’s words still echoing in my mind, promising me I’ve just ruined it all with Nate despite the quiet reassurances still spilling from his lips. No matter how hard I try to push my emotions back until I’m alone, they won’t stop, tears still brimming my eyes as I swallow the low sob in my chest. “Come here.”
He pulls me close, cradling me in his arms as I do everything I can to gain my composure. It takes a few minutes, but when I finally do, he’s still gazing down at me, his eyes hold a combination of adoration and concern.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, making me shake my head immediately.