Pull You Through

by Kaylee Ryan

“Slade.”

  “I gathered that much. What did he do?”

  “He heard Tommy ask me to dance. Sure he was rude.” I sigh then tell her the conversation. “Slade gets all, ‘go to the car,’ ‘make sure there are lights on,’ ‘watch your surroundings,’ and freaks me the hell out.” I pull up to a stop light and loosen my grip on the steering wheel. My knuckles are white.

  Savvy reaches over and places her hand on my arm. “Aust, you need me to drive?”

  “No.”

  “You want my opinion? No, you know what? You’re getting it anyway.” She turns in her seat as much as the seat belt will allow and starts talking. “He was being protective, Austyn.”

  “Right. Possessive is more like it.”

  “What are you upset about? Let’s start there.”

  “He can’t call me and tell me what to do when he’s hundreds of miles away. That’s not going to work. I have to live each day without him. He has to trust me to do that.” I take a breath. “And he scared the hell out of me. Why would he do that? Make me think the situation is worse than it is with him yapping all these instructions into my ear. How in the hell can I stay alert with all that yapping?” Savannah throws her head back and laughs. “It’s not funny.”

  “It really is. You’re being irrational.”

  “Irrational? Really? Like you wouldn’t have done the same thing to Brandon.” I’m angry, so damn angry. I can’t believe he would get me all worked up like this.

  “Actually, Brandon pretty much said the same things to me that Slade said to you.”

  “How are you not mad?”

  “Because I know why he said it. Not because he doesn’t trust me or because he’s trying to control me. He cares, Austyn. He was worried. That’s what you do when you think someone you love is in danger. Especially guys like Slade and Brandon. They’re the problem solvers. He was trying to remove you from what he felt from the information could have been harmful.

  “Shit,” I murmur. With it laid out like that, I get it. Savannah’s right. That’s what he does, especially when it comes to me. Slade would give anything to protect me and with him not being here, I’m sure it sounded a lot worse than it was.

  “Yeah, shit.” She laughs. “You need to apologize.”

  “I hate this,” I admit.

  “It’s not a walk in the park by any means, but you have to know that he was coming from a good place. My guess is he’s beating himself up over it now.”

  I pull into her driveway and turn off the ignition. “I thought I could do this, Savannah. I thought I was strong enough, but what if I’m not?”

  “It was an argument, Austyn. You really ready to give up what the two of you have, what you’ve been working for these past few months because of one argument?”

  “No. Hell no, but what if I’m not what he needs? He doesn’t need to be worried about me while he’s there. I mean, what happens when they get deployed? Then what? He needs his head in the game.”

  “Austyn, can you seriously look me in the eye and tell me that even if things are all fluffy puppies and unicorns with the two of you that you think he’s not going to worry or think about you?”

  “Well, when you put it that way,” I admit just as my phone rings. His name flashes on the screen.

  “Answer it and apologize. I’m going on inside to call B back. Come in when you’re done.”

  I nod and swipe the screen as she exits the car. “Hey.”

  “Angel,” he sighs. “I know you’re mad, but I can’t help it. I have this… need to protect you, keep you safe. And I wasn’t there. I admit I should have let you handle it without barking orders, but I won’t apologize for taking care of you. Yes, even hundreds of miles away, I want to take care of you.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say once he’s done.

  “What?”

  “I overreacted. This is hard, Slade.”

  “It is, so fucking hard, but the alternative is that I lose you. I can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t.”

  He exhales his relief. “I was sure this was the end, you know? That you were going to tell my crazy overprotective ass to take a hike.”

  “Nah, I love your crazy overprotective ass.”

  “I trust you. I do. It’s those drunk assholes who I don’t trust. It’s not just because you were at a party. I worry while you’re at school. I worry about you leaving work late at night. I can’t stop it. I can’t be with you or even close to you, so telling you to remove yourself from the situation was the best I could do. I trust you,” he says again, and I melt a little at his words. “You have all of me, Austyn. My trust, my heart, my soul, every single piece of me.”

  Emotion clogs my throat. “I love you, knight.”

  He chuckles. “That couldn’t be more fitting for this moment. I love you, too, angel.”

  It’s starting to get cold, so I put the keys back in the ignition and start the car.

  “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “Starting the car.”

  “Are you going somewhere?”

  “No. You called as soon as we pulled into the driveway, so I’ve been sitting in my car talking to you.”

  “Go get inside, crazy girl.”

  “I like having this time with you all to myself.”

  “It’s cold as hell there. Go inside. Take me with you.”

  “Fine,” I grumble playfully. When I walk in the door, I see the light on down in the basement, and I know that’s where Savannah is. I drop my overnight bag at the bottom of the steps and head downstairs.

  “What are you doing now?” He laughs. “It sounds like you’re running a marathon.”

  “Hush.” I giggle. “I’m walking down to the basement to find Savannah.

  “Over here,” she yells out. I take a seat next to her on the couch.

  “Found her,” I tell him. “I’m going to go so we can get some food. Savvy is giving me her ‘I’m starving’ look. We’ll call you guys closer to midnight.”

  “Sounds good. I’m glad we made up, Aust.”

  “We’re good,” I reassure him.

  “All better?” Savannah asks as soon as we end the call.

  “Yeah, all better. I apologized and so did he, even though he didn’t need to. I get that he was worried, and I need to be more understanding of that. Thanks for setting me straight.”

  “What are friends for?” She nudges me, and I smile over at her. “I ordered pizza. We better take this party upstairs so we don’t miss the delivery guy.”

  We settle in to watch the New Year’s Eve special on TV and devour almost an entire large pizza. At ten minutes before midnight, we call the guys. Slade and I talk about their euchre game and how he and Brandon are undefeated. When the ball finally drops, his deep sexy voice washes over me.

  “Happy New Year, angel.”

  “Happy New Year, knight.”

  We talk for a little longer, about everything and about nothing. That’s the way it’s always been between us. Conversation is easy, and I feel like I can just be me. I don’t have to worry that I’m going to say something and make myself look bad in front of him. I can just be.

  I GOT MY ORDERS TODAY. I finally know where I’m going to be stationed and I couldn’t be happier. The icing on the cake is that Combs, Jeffers, and Spiller are all at the same location with me. We all received our top pick. I’ve been sitting on my bed watching the clock on my phone as the numbers roll past. I can’t wait to call Austyn and tell her. She has a late class this semester. I started to send her a text and tell her, but I need to see her face when I do. We’ve talked about this, and we both knew the odds were even for the three places I could be stationed. This time the odds were in our favor.

  The clock hits six, and I pull up her contact and hit the button for a video call. “Hey, you.” She grins down at her phone. “I’m just walking to my car. Give me a sec.”

  I should have waited to let her get to her car, or even get home, but I couldn’t wait.

&
nbsp; “Okay, sorry, that wind is wicked. How was your day? That’s an awfully big grin you’re wearing.”

  “I got my orders today.”

  “And?” Her big blue eyes are wide, waiting to hear.

  “Camp Lejeune!”

  “What? No way!” she practically screams her excitement. “That’s awesome. I swear I was scared to death it was going to be Japan. No way could I just drive or fly there. California was even iffy, but at least it’s in the USA.”

  “It puts me here, which is the closest to you. That’s all I wanted.”

  “What about the other guys?”

  “Combs, Spiller, and Jeffers are all here as well. Miller and Johnson are off to California.”

  She squeals and bounces in her seat. Laughter bursts free and happiness races through me. “That means you’ll be there for the wedding and I’ll get to see you, and if I come spend a week or so with them, I can see you and oh my God, I’m so excited!”

  I don’t even attempt to hold back my big-ass grin. I love that she’s as excited as I am. “I don’t know if Brandon’s got ahold of Savannah yet. He’s not in our room. So maybe wait to speak to her until you know for sure.”

  “She’ll be pissed, but she’ll get over it. B needs to be the one to give her the news. So, what’s next?”

  “Well, training is over soon, and we get five days liberty to get settled. This will be my permanent home until we get deployed.”

  “How long… I mean do you know if or when?”

  “No. I know that we’ll find out in advance, usually a few months, but we won’t know the exact date until about a week or so before we ship out.”

  “You ready for that?”

  “I am. This is what I’m trained to do. The only part I’m not looking forward to is being so far away from you.”

  “Pft, don’t worry about me. I’ll be here when you come home. Or probably there when you get to come home. I’ll definitely need to wrap my arms around you after all that time.”

  “You and me both.”

  “This is great news, Slade.”

  “It is. This is definitely the best-case scenario, for all four of us.”

  “I wish I was there to celebrate with you.”

  “Me too. How are your classes? You’re almost through with your first year of college. You excited?”

  “Meh,” she says. “I still have a few months to go.”

  “Maybe, but it’s getting closer. Are you still thinking about changing your major?”

  “I am. I haven’t mentioned it to Mom and Dad yet.”

  “You know they’re going to support you no matter what you want to do, right?”

  “Yeah, I just hate that they already paid for this year and I won’t be using it.”

  “We talked about this. In your last e-mail, you said that there were only two classes that you took that wouldn’t transfer to your graphic design degree.”

  “That’s a lot of money, Slade.”

  “I know that, angel. But think of it this way. Better than four years’ worth of classes that you’ll never use. If you don’t love the career you’ve chosen, switch now before two classes turn into twenty. Talk to them.”

  “I know you’re right,” she sighs. “I’ll talk to them tonight. It’s time to register for classes for the summer and fall, and I really want to make the change.”

  “How’s wedding planning going?” Sure, I’m interested because it’s our friends, but honestly, I just want to keep her talking. I’m not ready to let her go, and hearing about it all makes me feel as if I’m there with her.

  “You know, surprisingly, not bad. I thought Savannah would be picky about everything, but she really just wants a small gathering. She wants to be married so she can be there with him.”

  “We both can understand that.”

  “Yeah.”

  I can tell by the tone of her voice something is up. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing really. I was just thinking about how the three of you are going to be there in North Carolina, and I’m still going to be here in small-town Kentucky.”

  I want to tell her to move here, to transfer schools. That I’ll put her up in an apartment close by. Anything so I can see her every day. It’s not fair of me to ask her to do that, but fuck if the words aren’t on the tip of my tongue.

  “Slade? Did I lose you?”

  “You could move here.” The words fall from my lips before I can stop them.

  “What?” She laughs.

  “You could transfer schools, move here. I could see you every day.”

  “Yeah, then when you deploy, I’ll be all alone.”

  “You’ll have Savannah. The two of you could lean on each other.”

  “We could,” she says slowly. “But that’s crazy, right? To just up and move?”

  “Not to me. I’d give anything to have you close to me.” We’re both quiet. I can only assume she’s processing all of this in that gorgeous mind of hers. “Talk to me, angel. It’s just a dream, okay. I don’t expect you to move and nothing changes between us if you don’t. I just… I was thinking it, and the words just came out. I don’t want to pressure you.” I’m rambling, trying to backpedal, afraid I’ve scared her off. “Austyn?”

  She clears her throat. “I’ve thought about it. Moving there, even more so since Savvy and B got engaged. I never mentioned it. I didn’t want to assume, and it’s a huge step, and we’re still new.”

  “We’ve been together for months now.”

  “Yeah, but—” She stops. “It’s a big deal.”

  “It is. That’s where I see us ending up. We’ve not talked about it, but I want to be where they are—Savannah and Combs. I want that to be us one day.”

  “Slade,” she whispers.

  “I love you, Austyn. Regardless of where you live, you have all my heart. Think about it. You let me know what you want to do. I’ll find an apartment close to base. Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it. I can even stay with you as long as I report to base when I need to. Most of the single guys choose to live on base because it can be expensive, but I’ve invested well.”

  “It’s out-of-state tuition.”

  “Not if you move here before you apply.”

  “You’ve thought about this?”

  “Every day since the first day I had to say goodbye to you.”

  “You’ll still have to say goodbye when you deploy.”

  “I will, but I’ll also get to see you every day while I’m here. Get to hold you and kiss you, and our goodbyes will be few and far between.”

  “I—”

  I stop her. “Think about it. Look at the local colleges here. Look at their programs and see if it works for you. Talk to your parents and think it over. Don’t just do it to be with me. I want you to be able to pursue your education. I want you to follow your dreams, and hopefully your heart at the same time.”

  “I love you. Give me some time.” Her voice is soft, almost a reverent whisper.

  “You have a lifetime, angel. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I’M SITTING IN CLASS WHEN my phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I check the screen and see a message from Slade.

  Slade: Hey, angel. What time do you get out of class today?

  Me: This is my last one. I should be out of here in about 30 minutes.

  Slade: Call me on your way home.

  Me: K

  I slide my phone back in my pocket and try to focus on class. This is English, and I need this one regardless of what my major is. Ever since our conversation a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been looking online at colleges in North Carolina. UNC Wilmington has a digital arts degree. It’s exactly what I want, and it’s less than fifty miles from Camp Lejeune. I’ve talked to their admissions department and my parents.

  Just as Slade said they would be, Mom and Dad were on board with whatever makes me happy. They did like the savings of moving and paying instate tuition. It’s more expensive, not living at home and paying room and boar
d. Then there’s the option of an apartment. That idea is the one that appeals to me the most. The college is within the distance Slade is allowed to travel, and if I were to get an apartment in between the two, I could have a twenty-minute drive to the base and to school. He could stay with me. No more rented hotel rooms. Not that I have anything against them, but having my own space, our own space would be nice.

  I can’t believe I’m thinking of moving there, living with him. It all feels like it’s someone else’s life. I never would have imagined this is where I would be the second half of my first year of college. Switching majors and wanting to move just to be near a guy. He’s not just any guy though.

  This is Slade.

  My knight.

  My heart.

  Class ends, and I rush to pack up my stuff and head to my car. As soon as I’m on the road, I dial Slade.

  “Hey,” he greets me.

  “Hey, yourself. Having a good day? I thought you were in training all day today?”

  “Change of plans,” he says, not offering more information.

  “This is a treat to get to talk to you in the middle of the day.”

  He chuckles. “It is. How was class?”

  “Same thing another day.”

  “You thought any more about your major?”

  “Yeah, they have a good program here, and they also have a good one at UNC Wilmington.” He’s quiet on the other end of the line. “Slade?”

  “I’m here. I’m just trying not to influence your decision. Staying quiet is my best bet.” He laughs.

  “You think so?” I know he wants me there with him. If I’m being honest with myself, that’s where I want to be too.

  “I know so.”

  “So if you didn’t stay quiet, what would you say?” I ask, pulling into the driveway.

  “I’d say lots of things, but I’d much rather say them in person.”

  “I just got home. We can hang up and I can call back on video chat,” I tell him, climbing out of the car and heading inside.

  “We could do that or I could just tell you the next time I see you.”

  “Slade,” I sigh. “We don’t know when that’s going to be.”

  “No?” he asks. “Try looking up.”