by Maeve Friel
Jessica opened the drawer. The helmets were hard on the outside and padded inside, but instead of being round like motorbike helmets, they tapered off into long pointy ends. Jessica found one that fitted and did up her chin-strap before joining Miss Strega on the roof.
The first part of the lesson was practising take-off and landing. Jessica felt as awkward as a swan trying to take off from a lake. She couldn’t stop huffing and puffing and her legs beat the air as if she was pedalling an invisible bicycle.
“Keep your back straight, knees together, legs tucked up,” Miss Strega repeated endlessly.
“I’ll never get the hang of it,” Jessica was thinking when suddenly, it all came right.
“Very stylish,” Miss Strega declared as Jessica swooped down and made a perfect landing. “You’re a born flier. Now, let’s take to the air and try something else. Your Zoom control is directly below the Lift twig. So,” she lined herself up beside Jessica, “once again, Ig-Fo-Li and ZOOM.”
They rose off the roof together like a pair of silent rockets and zoomed off towards the stars. But they had not gone very far when Miss Strega gasped. “Oh no, here comes trouble.”
Hurtling towards them was a gang of goblins, screaming and yelling and shrieking. They flew straight down between Miss Strega and Jessica, cutting them off from one another.
“Oh look, it’s a witch-in-training,” they jeered, crowding around Jessica. There were so many of them she couldn’t fly in any direction. If she steered right, they blocked her. If she veered left, they blocked her.
“Ascend,” Miss Strega shouted.
But the goblins flew up like a cloud of locusts and settled on her head and back and shoulders.
“Get off!” Jessica screamed at them, trying to push them off and keep control of the broom at the same time.
Miss Strega zoomed alongside her. “Fast forward, that will shake them off.”
Jessica hit her Fast-Forward twig and shot off, scattering all the goblins into the dark. Scattering almost all the goblins. When she looked over her shoulder, she could see that one of them had managed to cling on to the end of her broomstick and was scrambling back on board.
“Hit the Eject twig,” shouted Miss Strega, “it’s the sh—”
But Jessica, grappling with the goblin who was now clambering over her shoulders, accidentally hit the Diagonal Lift. The broomstick flew up and off at a sharp angle, spiralling out of control like a deflating balloon.
“Get off, you,” Jessica hissed as she struggled to regain control of the twigs. The goblin, knocked forward by the unexpected diagonal lift, was now lying across the twigs, causing the most tremendous problems. As he shifted position and tried to sit up, he clutched wildly at the controls. The broom lurched to the right, to the left. It ascended and descended. It fast-forwarded and reversed. Miss Strega, shouting directions alongside, was having great difficulty in predicting which way Jessica would move next.
“The Eject twig,” Miss Strega roared. “It’s the shortest one on the b—”
But Jessica was already plummeting out of the sky, with the goblin clinging to the Descend twig, laughing hysterically. Jessica looked down. They were out over the open sea. It looked very cold and black and wet. She lurched forward to grab the goblin’s scaly neck and hurl him off, but he was too fast for her. He jumped from the Descend control and tweaked a twig that Jessica had never used. The broom suddenly stopped. It began to rotate slowly on its own axis. It built up speed, gradually going, faster and faster, until finally Jessica and her pesky joyrider were spinning crazily in the darkness.
“Wey-hey,” shrieked the goblin. “Wow.”
“You stupid, stupid pest,” Jessica screamed back. “Get off my broom.”
“Press the Eject twig.” Miss Strega’s voice boomed out in the darkness, though Jessica was spinning so fast she couldn’t see where she was. “It’s the shortest one on the bo—”
“Of course,” Jessica remembered, “the shortest one on the bottom row.” She leant forward, dizzily, and let her fingers slide over the bottom row of twigs until she was sure she was touching the shortest. She tweaked and the goblin shot off like a pebble released from a catapult.
“Phew,” thought Jessica, grabbing her Pause control. She hung motionless in the sky waiting for her head to stop spinning. After a few minutes, she heard the goblin enter the water with a satisfying splash.
“Moonrays and Marrowbones!” exclaimed Miss Strega who had suddenly materialized at her side. “What a lot of hurly-burly that was. Let’s go home straight away and make ourselves a stiff brew.”
Chapter Five
At the start of Jessica’s third lesson, Miss Strega told her about witches’ mascots.
“In the olden days,” she explained, “almost every witch had a cat, usually a black one, though mine have always been ginger. Other witches had owls and some show-offs even had both. Nowadays, our guild, the W3 – that stands for Witches World Wide – are less fussy. They let us choose a mascot for ourselves, unless of course a mascot chooses its witch.”
“So, in theory, I could have any animal I like?”
“Jessica, you’re wobbling rather a lot,” Miss Strega scolded. “Don’t lean forward like that. Keep your back straight and your knees together. Tuck your legs up under you. That’s better. Now, what was I saying?”
“That I could have any mascot I like.”
“Within reason,” Miss Strega tapped her nose. “Obviously, having to balance an elephant on the back of a broomstick might be a bit of a nuisance. Not to mention clearing up its you-know-what … Careful, Jessica,” she warned, as Jessica, giggling, accidentally hit the Descend twig and dropped down into a bank of cloud.
When Miss Strega caught up with her, they flew along in silence for a while. Clouds were very clammy, wet, unpleasant places, Jessica was discovering, not at all as soft and warm and cuddly as they look from the ground. Visibility was bad too. As the clouds got thicker, she could hardly make out Miss Strega’s broom ahead of her.
“Let’s do a fast-forward climb out of this,” Miss Strega shouted back over her shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but my cloak is soaked right through. Once we are higher up, it will be quite dry. Ready, Jessica? Come alongside me. Pause. That’s the girl. Steady. Now, press the Fast Forward twig firmly between your right thumb and forefinger and keep your left forefinger on Lift. And off we go.”
The two broomsticks ascended at speed through the clouds and emerged from their clammy, drippy embrace into a starry night sky.
“This is much better,” said Miss Strega, shaking the raindrops off her cape.
“Isn’t it very windy?” asked Jessica. “Do you think there might be a storm brewing?”
But Miss Strega wasn’t listening.
“Let’s see,” she said, rubbing her chin. “Lesson Number Three. That’s Emergency Stops according to the W3 Rule Book. For the moment, we’re going to keep a straight course for the moon, but, when I say STOP, grip the broomstick tightly between your knees and firmly press the Pause twig.” She looked sternly at Jessica. “I can’t emphasize how important the gripping is. Otherwise, you’ll launch yourself into outer space without your broom. And then where would we be?”
Jessica looked up at the Milky Way with alarm and down at the ocean of clouds beneath her. She checked the strap of her flying helmet and fast-forwarded to where Miss Strega had paused to wait for her.
“As I was saying,” Miss Strega continued as they moved off, “and you can call me picky if you like, but I do think mascots ought to be nocturnal.”
“You mean, an animal that likes to be out and about at night-time? Like an owl or a cat.”
“Or a frog. Or a bat. Or a fox. There are simply dozens to choose from.”
“Mmmm,” said Jessica, pensively, “I think I might go for a—”
“STOP!”
Jessica grabbed the Pause twig. Her timing with the gripping, however, was not quite good enough and she slid backwards on the broom handle, just stop
ping herself in time from shooting off into the stars.
“Help!” she yelled, scrambling back along the broomstick. Her knees were knocking together with the fright.
“Carry on, when you’re ready, my dear,” said Miss Strega calmly, though Jessica could see by the way her shoulders were shaking and her chin was wobbling that she was trying not to laugh.
“Bother,” said Jessica, rubbing the back of her knee, “I think I’ve got a splinter. Nobody said I’d need kneepads for this flying business.” She glared crossly at Miss Strega’s back.
Without even turning around, Miss Strega repeated, “Back straight, Jessica. Knees together. Legs tucked up.”
Suddenly a large flock of geese was heading towards them. “Gale warning,” they honked as they passed by. “Head for home.”
Within minutes, black shadows were scudding across the moon. The sky darkened. There was a crash of thunder. Long forked streaks of lightning flashed to the right and left of them.
“We’ll have to turn back,” Miss Strega shouted into the wind. “Follow me.”
The gale grew stronger and stronger. Jessica’s broom began to buck all by itself as the wind whipped through the twigs and tossed her hither and thither. Thick damp clouds swirled and churned around her. Storm music welled up. It drummed and clattered and banged.
“Miss Strega,” she howled into the darkness, “where are you? I can’t see you. Am I going in the right direction?”
There was no reply. Jessica bit her lip. “I suppose I could wish myself out of here,” she thought, but remembered Miss Strega telling her never to waste a wish on something she was perfectly capable of doing for herself.
“I expect if I keep flying downwards, I’m bound to hit the ground eventually,” she thought again, “even if I land in the wrong country.” She sat up straighter on her broomstick, tucked up her legs, firmly gripped the broomstick with one hand to steady herself against the wind and gently squeezed the Descend twig with her other hand. As the broom began to drop through the thick wet murk of the clouds, something tickly and fluttery landed near her neck and burrowed under her cloak.
“Oh no,” she yelled, “it’s that pesky goblin again. That’s all I need.”
She shook her head and tried to shake it off, but whatever was there just gripped on more tightly.
“Right,” thought Jessica, “you’ve had it.” She leant forward and pressed the Eject twig. But the Eject twig was obviously out of order for the thing kept fluttering under her cloak. Jessica even thought she heard a little silvery laugh.
“Right,” Jessica decided, “I’m not putting up with this.”
Gripping her broomstick firmly between her knees, she took the Descend and Zoom twigs together in her hands. Immediately the broom began to drop out of the sky, falling back to earth like a stone flung from the top of a cliff.
A few minutes later, Jessica crash-landed with a terrific thump outside the hardware shop.
Miss Strega landed beside her and helped her to her feet.
“You know, Jessica, the Zoom-Descend manoeuvre should really only be used if you are landing in water or possibly a lovely soft sand dune,” she half scolded her as she led her into the back room of the shop. “It’s not meant for pavement touch-downs.”
Jessica’s head was spinning. She felt so dizzy that she was seeing stars. She seemed to be surrounded by hundreds of Miss Stregas with long pointy chins. Most curious of all, she could hear singing. Something or somebody was singing. Something or somebody was singing underneath her cloak.
“What’s that singing?” asked Miss Strega.
Jessica gingerly undid her cloak. There, sitting on her shoulder, was a small damp brown bird with bedraggled feathers, singing in a very beautiful musical voice.
“What on earth is that?” Jessica asked.
“Well, slap my tummy with a wet fish!” exclaimed Miss Strega. “You have just been adopted by a night-in-gale. That is the best mascot of all. Not only do you get storm protection but you’ll have in-flight music too! You lucky, lucky girl.”
Chapter Six
Miss Strega was sitting cross-legged on her stool behind the counter, with her chin comfortably cradled in the palm of her hand. “Apprentice fliers …” she read aloud from the Witches World Wide Rule Book, “must be skilled in twig control, indoor flying, night flying and flying in storm conditions. As part of their training, they should expect to deal with one serious emergency …”
Jessica, who was sitting on the counter patting the cat, looked questioningly at Miss Strega. “You didn’t, by any chance, arrange that goblin attack?”
Miss Strega’s nose twitched. “So,” she carried on brightly, ignoring Jessica’s question, “it seems you are ready to move on to Advanced Flying. I’ll take you up to the Milky Way tonight.”
The Milky Way turned out to be a bright multi-lane inter-galactic highway that cut through the night sky. Jessica could not believe how busy it was.
She constantly had to use her Ducking and Diving twigs to avoid bumping into all the witches who were whizzing and zooming in every direction. And it wasn’t just witches who used the Milky Way. Angels zipped past on their personalized clouds. Red-horned demons sped along on flame-throwing forks. Huge brutes of dragons snorting nasty black puffs of smoke lumbered along illegally in the fast lane, causing long tailbacks. There were gangs of goblins too, but fortunately, they didn’t pay any attention to Jessica. They were far too busy racing each other up and down the central reservation with their cosmos-blasters blaring.
As Jessica followed Miss Strega on to a busy junction, she noticed a large banner hanging between two stars:
“What does that mean – by order BR(EATH)?” Jessica asked Miss Strega.
“BR(EATH) is the W3 flying licence authority. It stands for Broom Riders (Earth And The Heavens).”
Jessica paused. “Do I need a licence?”
“Do keep up, Jessica,” Miss Strega called over her shoulder, “there’s a minimum speed here on the Milky Way. Of course you need a licence. But the test is not too difficult.”
Jessica’s jaw dropped. “A flying test?”
“Of course – every witch-in-training has to do a test.”
“How many marks do you need to pass?”
“Ten out of ten, of course.”
Jessica almost toppled off her broomstick.
“Please tuck up those knees, Jessica,” Miss Strega called over her shoulder, “and follow me up into Emergency Air Space. I want to see why the traffic is slowing down. There must be another dragon ahead.”
Jessica and Miss Strega hovered above a convoy of magic carpets and peered down the starry highway of the Milky Way. As far as they could see there were no dragons but, for some reason, all fliers were being filtered into a single lane. Further on, the Milky Way Traffic Police had set up a skyway block and traffic had come to a complete standstill behind a flashing notice:
“How infuriating!” huffed Miss Strega. “The phoenix only rises once every five hundred years. It’s just our luck that he’s doing it on your first night on the Milky Way. This could hold us up for hours.”
“What is a Phoenix Rising?” asked Jessica.
“The phoenix is a rather curious old bird,” Miss Strega explained. “Only one of them exists at a time. When it dies, it bursts into flames and ascends into space. Then its ashes drop back to earth and it comes alive again. Perhaps we should zoom along to see it. Turn on your emergency tail-lights, Jessica – push that two-prong twig on the second row – and follow me.”
Jessica zoomed off after Miss Strega as she soared high into space. The night sky was touched with streaks of red and gold, but as they drew near the skyway block it glowed ever more fiercely. The hot air whirred and hummed and buzzed as if it was alive. Suddenly, the spinning fireball of the phoenix exploded into view with its feathers blazing, a fiery torpedo aimed at the heavens. At the same time, a young scaly dragon with a load of screaming goblins on its back came galloping down the
central reservation and crashed through the skyway block. The watching crowd of genies, dragons, witches, angels and demons gasped in horror. Dragon and phoenix seemed set for a head-on collision.
“Moonrays and marrowbones,” yelled Miss Strega. “I’ll have to make a spell.”
As the fiery ball of the phoenix rocketed upwards and the dragon and his joy-riding goblins bore down on him, Miss Strega began to chant:
“Rise, Phoenix, rise, go on your way The dragon will stop once I say ‘FREEZE!’”
At the word ‘freeze’, the dragon came to a sudden halt. It dangled in mid-air, shivering a little at the edges like the frame on a paused video.
“Blithering bats’ wings!” exclaimed Miss Strega as Jessica and all the Milky Way travellers broke into spontaneous applause. The phoenix fireball continued its upward flight.
“Will you defrost the dragon and the goblins now that the phoenix is safe?” Jessica asked as the traffic began to move forward again.
Miss Strega stroked her chin. “No, I don’t think so. They can cool their heels for a year or two. Give them a little time to calm down.”
At the next busy T-junction, there was a signpost with two arrows, one pointing left to The Moon, the other pointing right for All Other Directions.
Miss Strega paused and eyed the long queue waiting to turn right.
“Turn left,” she announced briskly. “We’ll take the shortcut.”
Jessica looked up at the round white face of the moon with its mysterious bumps and shadows. Her face dropped. “You mean we’re going to do a Moon-Vault?”
“We can go the long way round, if you prefer. I mean, if you’re nervous,” said Miss Strega.
“I’m not in the least bit nervous,” Jessica retorted, firmly tweaking her Turn Left twig.
“That’s the spirit,” said Miss Strega. “It’s not at all difficult, just a question of timing and the speed of your approach. You don’t want to collide and nudge the moon out of place. Line up here beside me.”