by Pamela Ann
After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class, which left me with a lot of unanswered questions. I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty, little, dark head of hers. At times, she could be very closed off; much like her brother. However, like the good friend I was, I didn’t want to push the issue and pressure her into answers, knowing quite well that she was conflicted. I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me.
I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to clear my head. It was a warm, glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice, little, charming town that had a rustic Spanish feel to it. I had good memories of this town from trips with my family and friends growing up. That was why UCSB had been my first choice when I applied for college. It was close to home and at the same time, it gave me enough space to find myself and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life.
I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn’t argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were relieved that I didn’t plan to tag along with my boyfriend, Lewis, to Boston. My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they wanted their baby girl to stay close to home more than anything.
I parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel—it was necessary to have a beach towel and extra clothes with you at all times when you lived around here. With my purse and towel tucked under my arm, I trotted towards the shore and found a spot to lie out; somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tended to run wild—I feared getting stabbed to death or being kidnapped. Weird really, but I blamed it on watching too many Bones and True Blood episodes.
I made a blissful sigh before I spread myself out across my beach towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth. I loved the beach; it was the perfect escape from life. I wished that life was as easy as being here with the peaceful waves and the warm sand. I wished I could find the answer to my complicated situation with Carter.
It was a good thing I was wearing a faded denim skirt with a fitted, sleeveless cotton shirt because the sun’s rays were beaming down from a cloudless sky and I wanted to consume as much sun as I could before fall rolled in. My tan made my cornflower blue eyes more noticeable and I thought that it made me look much better. As much as I loved being golden-hued though, I would never get an artificial one from a tanning bed. I had nothing against people who used them; it was just that some of them went overboard and managed to look like an Oompa Loompa. I would so not look as good as an Oompa Loompa, so I’d rather stick to the real thing.
My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Grabbing it, I checked who the caller was.
Carter.
Clearing my throat, I answered it, “Hey.”
“Hey, I just saw Lindsey and she said you two had lunch. Why wasn’t I invited? I would have loved to dine with my two favorite girls,” he drawled and I couldn’t hold myself back from rolling my eyes.
I’m your favorite girl, for now, I wanted to voice out, but held my tongue.
“Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What’s up, Carter?” I wanted to sound bored and irritated, but my voice ended up sounding breathy.
“Just wondering what you’re up to ’cause I’m free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like coming over to chill a bit?” His voice deepened when he said, ‘coming over.’ It was basically his come-hither term for ‘let’s fuck.’
“Um, I don’t know about that, Carter,” I whispered. Sex would be a very bad idea. It would be like piling more shit on top of an already enormous pile.
I wanted to kick myself—if I could—for falling for the man. I mean, come on, Emma! I scolded myself.
Where the hell is your brain, huh?
It was probably somewhat brain dead from mind-numbing orgasms.
As much as I loved Lewis when we were together, I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone wild and unrestricted—someone without limits or boundaries—who didn’t have a care in the world. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes met. I was screwed; in more ways than one. Literally.
He grunted on the other end, frustrated.
“I haven’t seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS! This is the longest I haven’t seen you,” Carter started to sound irritated.
I guess two days without sex could really make a man grumpy.
“I’ve been… busy,” I said hesitantly, but he wasn’t buying the crap I was spewing.
“Busy? You’ve been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven’t been busy. Why don’t you come over? Maybe it’s high time we talk.”
And here it is…
Doomsday was here.
I waited a beat or two before I replied, “I’ll see you in an hour.” Yeah, an hour would be enough time to come up with some kind of a plan and recharge my battery. Maybe.
“In an hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you.” He was heated. Carter was angry and his underlying threat was quite clear. My time was up and it was time to face the music and dance.
“Got it,” I responded and quickly ended the call.
I knew Carter had a mean temper. He wanted to see me pronto and I needed to show up. I didn’t doubt for a second that he would follow through with his threat.
He was notorious for his bar fights and his road rage. One time, we were stopped at a stoplight and when the light turned green, the driver in front of us didn’t move because he was too caught up in his phone conversation. Carter didn’t even blink twice before he got out of his SUV, cussed the guy out and managed frighten him so badly, the man was on the verge of tears.
Yep, Carter had a problem with his temper, and I didn’t want to push his buttons further to see how far he’d take that temper of his.
“I can usually tell if a man is emotionally unavailable by my instant attraction to them.”
~Author Unknown
Chapter Two
After another forty-five minutes, I decided it was time to leave. I gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter.
Carter had bought a four bedroom villa that overlooked the beach where his friends, Brody and Cooper, rented rooms from him. It was quite close to Main Street where the bars, clubs, restaurants and all types of shops were located.
I parked my car just outside his house, killed the engine and took a deep breath. “Showtime,” I muttered under my breath as I opened my car door.
The guys never locked the main door so I turned the doorknob and pushed the heavy, white door open. The house was actually quiet for the first time since I’d known the trio. They usually had a crowd of people lounging and hanging around.
Where was everyone?
“Good of you to finally show up!” Carter announced from atop the landing only wearing a pair of cargo shorts. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display and his dark hair had droplets of water in it like he had just come out of the shower.
I salivated like a bitch in heat.
Fuck, this is not going as planned!
“I’m five minutes early. What more do you want?” I asked, in a mere whisper. The emptiness of the house made my hushed tone quite loud.
He took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, care-free swag as he walked towards me. It sucked! The man didn’t even have to try to look hot, he just was. Like air equaled breathing, water equaled drinking; Carter Mason equaled SEXing. It was quite absurd. I despised the fact that he held such power over me and was mystified as to how I had let that happen.
He continued his lazy saunter until he was right before me, his almost bare-naked, glorious body stood only a foot away as he studied me quietly. “What more do I want, Emma?” he parroted my question back to me. “I want you to be honest.”
He wanted honesty? Right, then I’d give it to him… somewhat.
“I don’t think I c
an do this with you anymore,” I managed to whisper. His gaze was penetrating, never leaving my eyes.
“Why? What’s changed? You were fine the last time we were together. If I recall correctly, you were more than fine. You were insatiable and didn’t want me to leave your side—you even followed me into the shower. What was it that you said? Oh right, ‘because you missed me.’ So, from that type of adoration to ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore,’ tell me, what’s changed?”
My brows furrowed. Fuck! Dammit, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? That was sickening.
What do I tell him? I was panicking and couldn’t conjure any reason at the moment other than the real truth. I wasn’t a raving idiot, I was not going to confess my undying love and humiliate myself.
“It’s just not working out, Carter.” God, that was the best I could do? I really sucked at this.
He moved a little closer. “That’s not really telling me much, Em. Do you expect me to let you go,” he snapped his fingers, “just like that?”
Well, yeah. “Sort of,” I uttered.
I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scent hit me like a brick. Fuck, my body was shaking and my senses were taking over.
This is so bad, stop it, I scolded my lascivious body.
“That’s where you’re wrong. This body,” the back of his forefinger grazed the tell-tale outline of my erect nipples, “responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren’t visible.” He pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. “But the second I stood before you… your body betrayed you… it acknowledges the kind of power I have over you.”
So my nipples, had what… a Carter detector? I groaned.
He moved in on me, his hand immediately went under my short denim skirt and he caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. “Carter…” I hesitated, knowing full well where this was going.
“Let’s stick to what we’re good at Emma and that’s indulging each other’s needs, hmmm?” His wet, hot tongue ran along the back of my ear to the base of my neck. Fuck! My entire body shivered and broke out in goose bumps. In the time it took me to process what was happening, he had squatted down and parted my legs. His expert finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds.
Panting, I whispered, “Carter… someone might come back! We can’t do this out here for everyone to see!” I tried to be the voice of reason but hell… my traitorous body loved the feel of him; loved being with Carter like this again.
Love totally sucked. Not only did it make you feel powerless, but it made you stupid, too.
Carter’s tongue was heated and rushed then his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Dammit, his gifted tongue was like a whirlpool, full of ferocious intensity and it most definitely sucked you in. It had the capability to pull me into its dark depths, free-falling without a life raft to hang on to. My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it while I moaned and writhed during his artful ministrations.
He hooked my left leg over his shoulder, making me even more frenzied and incoherent. At that point, I could not have cared less if his friends walked in on us like that. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to simmer from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was mere seconds away from convulsing when he stopped.
God dang it! What now?!
Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. My beautiful Adonis, I thought as my eyes devoured the creature before me. His throbbing cock was gleamed in the sun’s rays that filtered through the windows. I licked my lips when I gazed at his sheer masculine beauty. The energy between us was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor.
It was always like this with him, with us.
It was just sex and more sex and nothing in between. No talks about the future. No hearts and butterflies, just as he had promised.
My eyes looked deep into his… I love you, I thought.
He didn’t even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were parted already, he jammed his cock inside me with haste. Damn, my body exulted at the very feel of him. Carter’s passionate fucking bordered on fervid, senseless mating. He had a way of setting me ablaze, burning me up with heat and need for him.
Him alone.
I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled deeper inside me. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful, hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered into euphoric ecstasy.
“Caaaarteeeer!” I screamed over and over again. My screams vibrated throughout the house, maybe even the entire neighborhood, but I didn’t care. What mattered was the hard pounding I was getting.
I panted as my orgasm convulsed through my body, tightening around his thick cock. My vaginal walls squeezed the length of his manhood, driving him even further with an intense need for completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screamed my name when he unloaded his seed inside me. He grunted and grumbled something incoherent. My mind was blank as he pulsated inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor.
He buried his head deeply into the crook of my neck as I listened to the heaviness of his breathing and fought the urge to cry—from loving him so much and wanting something I could never have.
Doom and gloom.
I tried to move, but he wouldn’t let me. Both of his hands were securely planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me and preventing me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths, but I couldn’t read them.
“There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when I say it ends. You got that?” Bossy. Domineering. I wanted to just punch him.
I got that, loud and clear, mister. It was pretty apparent that this relationship I had with him changed the moment I fell in love with the jackass and I couldn’t keep hurting anymore.
“Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together,” I blurted out, a technical lie. True, Lewis wanted to try again, but I never wanted to. At this point, though, I’d do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man.
“I beg your pardon?” he uttered in his most deadly tone. He moved closer and I held myself back from moaning.
I didn’t care if I made him angry anymore. I was past caring. “You heard me. Don’t make me say it again.”
“Was this your goodbye fuck then?” He nudged his hips forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our session, but I could feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth.
OH. MY.
“You’re the one who started it, but sure, if you want to call it that. You can un-sheath yourself from me now,” I ordered as his wicked eyes twinkled.
“Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can un-sheath myself.” He smiled as he unceremoniously picked me up and carried me up the flight of stairs and into the master bedroom.
Stupid me, I hadn’t voiced a word because his dangerous demeanor excited the hell out of me. I was hopeless, wasn’t I?
~E~
After two hours of long ardent lovemaking, he finally relented. What a blissful two hours they were, too.
Carter licked, kissed and fucked me to make a point. He was harsh and tender at the same time. His dark eyes never left me. Whatever was going through that beautiful head of his, I would never know.
We lied naked against the sheets and both stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn’t even bother holding me like he usually did after sex. It was break-up sex, I knew, but it still hurt all the same. His distance hurt me. It was just sex to him—nothing more. I guess, a small part of me hoped he’d beg me not to end this and show me some kind of emotion.
Carter sat up and planted his feet on the floor. His rippled back l
ooked so enticing. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and trail kisses along his spine, but my legs, which were still slightly parted, were vibrating and quivering after being stretched and used to capacity for the past couple of hours.
Not once did he kiss me today; it was not really his thing, but he had obliged me a few kisses here and there before. I sighed with sadness; the heaviness on my chest never left me the entire time I was with him.
He suddenly stood up and headed to the bathroom, but stopped mid-stride. Without looking at me, he spoke, “You can gather your things and go now, Em. Thanks for the great sex. I’ll see you around.” His voice was curt, deadpan, uncaring.
Thanks for the great sex? Mother Fucker! The nerve! Why couldn’t he just say, “I’ll see you around?” Cold, but I’d rather take that than him thanking me for great sex. Fuck, I felt like a cheap tart. I couldn’t even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt and in utter shock. I mean, I knew he was an insensitive prick, but I hoped to have a civilized parting.
Stupid, stupid asshat!
Hot, salty tears threatened to spill from my azure orbs and it took all of my inner strength to keep them at bay. The stupid prick didn’t deserve my tears. Even one drop would be too much to bestow upon the horrid rat!
I shot out of bed and immediately searched for my discarded clothing. “FUCK!!! Where the hell is my underwear?” I screeched as I scampered around, hunting down my tiny thong.
Ugh, the miniscule piece was on the foot of the bed, ripped to shreds. Huh, I didn’t recall them being torn, I thought, annoyed.
I’d die if he came out of the shower and found me still waiting here, pondering about him, about us, like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell! I haughtily left his house and slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn’t come off its hinges.
With my gloom and doom demeanor, I drove back to the dorms.
UCSB was not only known for its good programs, but was also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. Oh yeah, I planned to hit the party circuit hardcore, not tonight, though.