by Pamela Ann
Then, so it shall.
Dimitris and Bass were inside watching some “important” film documentary, so I pulled Emma aside before she followed her Golden Boy into Dimitris’s theater.
We were out in the garden, enjoying our cappuccino and Emma’s favorite baklava, when I directed her a question. “How was the surprise?” I asked, referring to their mini vacation.
Emma blushed, smiling dreamily before responding to my question. “He purchased an island.” She paused, looking at me. “The island where we kind of said we loved each other for the first time. It was special to us.”
Well, fucking shit. If the guy wasn’t just so dreamy and perfect. It was getting annoying. “You lucky bitch,” I muttered, grinning.
“You have Dimitris, Linds. He’s crazy about you, babe. Don’t you see it? Have you seen the way he looks at you? Why don’t you give him a chance? He might be worth it. I mean, I like Brody, I do, but what if you’re wasting your time for someone who you once loved, thinking that you still do. Like hanging on to something that’s a façade, but it’s not there any longer? What will you do then?”
Brody, a façade? He could never be.
Dimitris on the other hand, I had no clue how to describe him except good in the sack—exceptional. That’s all. He couldn’t be more than that because that’s all I was going to let him be. Nothing more. “Then, I’ll think about it when it happens, Emma.”
“You’re right, of course. You of all people know what you want.” She gave me a strained smile. “Linds…” Emma trailed off, looking at her nail bed, deep in thought, struggling. “Nikki’s pregnant and it could be Bass’s.”
“Get the fuck out! That bitch is lying.” I would bet my entire life on it. “Bass may have nailed her, but there’s no way he’d risk pregnancy. Men that have been on the field for far too long and are way too experienced like Bass Cole know the drill. Calm your chunky ass down. She’s trying to get him back. If she really is pregnant, that baby can’t be his. All right?”
“You think so? Bass did swear he wore condom all the time and he’d double checked if there were any tear, he said he found none. I really want to believe him, Linds. I love him, but I’m scared this will be the end of us.”
“Can you live without Bass? That’s the question you should ask yourself. The rest is just embellishments,” I advised my friend and then had the thought that maybe I should ask myself the same. Like that’ll happen.
“I love him. I can’t imagine not being with him after what’s happened.” She leaned over and gave me a tight hug, exhaling loudly with relief. “Thank you. I knew you’d get my head straight.”
Anytime girlfriend, I thought as I hugged her back.
Chapter 14
That same night, Dimitris excused himself to do some work in his office when it was time for bed. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was avoiding me or he simply had work to do. When it came to him, I could never tell.
So I waited in bed, remaining in agony until he came up, knowing that he needed his space because he was simply hurting inside.
At two in the morning, he decided to finally show up. With the moonlight basking the room aglow from the open balcony doors, I watched as he slowly peeled his clothes off until he was naked before sliding inside the sheets, joining me.
Dimitris shifted and placed himself above me, looking like a different man. “Stay. Give me a chance,” he choked up, beseeching. “You never gave me one. Let me prove my worth to you. Just stay… not as my wife or my girlfriend, but as the woman I love. I don’t care about any of that anymore.” He paused, breathing raggedly before he parted from my ear and looked into my eyes with gripping sadness, anguished. “I just want you, Lindsey. Be with me.”
This was what I had been afraid of. I thought we were through having this conversation, but he was still fighting for me—still not losing hope and holding out for a future. A future that’s nonexistent because if I chose this man, I had to give up so much and I couldn’t risk that, not for anyone. Not when I had lost so much already.
“You have to let me go.” I’m sorry. It just had to be this way.
He made an agonizing sound, as if wounded. “I needed to ask even if I knew you wouldn’t change your mind.”
Pain. All my life, it had been my constant companion. I could survive with more, until I was numb. Losing Dimitris would evoke more, but that’s my choice. A choice I had taken. A path I was going to stay on, whether it was right or wrong. It was all I knew.
We fell asleep like that, with him on top of me. He was heavy, crushing me almost, but I shifted a bit so I could at least breathe without feeling like I was lifting a ton.
At around dawn, Dimitris woke me with tender kisses across my body
“Don’t you sleep?” I murmured, not moving, wanting to go back to sleep because I was going to be jet-lagged when I got home.
“No, not lately,” he murmured, kissing my face and my chest.
Parting my legs, I used my heel to urge him to have sex with me. “I want you… now, Dimi.”
He paused his kisses and looked into my eyes, his own were busy going back and forth, up and down on my face before he openly rejected me by getting off the bed and striding inside his walk-in closet. I sat there, dumbfounded for a minute or two before he came out, dressed in jeans and a black shirt, rushing out the door, slamming it shut.
I was bound to leave in the next few hours and he was pushing himself away from me. I should be feeling happy that I was leaving Athens, but thoughts of Dimitris made me think twice about what I was doing again.
My heart ached; for him, for me, for Brody. I was really starting to care for Dimitris—care for him, not in lust, but the man inside—for what he was made of. I sent a prayer, asking God to look out for him because this would be the last time I saw him. Even though he’s friends with mine as well, I planned to avoid him for the rest of my life. Dimitris shook my cage, my gilded life—my prison—and I didn’t like that one bit.
I was all dressed, rummaging through my purse, making sure I had my passport and whatever else I needed for the long flight back when Dimitris entered the walk-in closet, dressed in his business attire while looking like a sexy beast, and my vagina literally quivered at the sight of him.
He was fresh out of shower and dressed already, but I knew he didn’t shower or change here, so where was he?
My thoughts were awash from the cold look he directed me.
Without preamble, he shot me an ultimatum. “If you leave me now, make sure you don’t look back because I won’t be here waiting for you, agápi mou.” He paused for a second. “But if you choose to stay with me, I’ll do everything—and I mean everything—to make you happy. You can still be back in Santa Barbara with your friends and family because I’m willing to fly out there every weekend to spend time with you. I’ll rearrange my schedule to cater to yours. I don’t care about expense, wasted time or putting out all this bloody effort because, to me, you’re worth it. I don’t know if you can’t see it, but I’m crazy in love with you. You’re it for me, Lindsey.”
Doesn’t he ever give up? I thought frantically, frustrated and pained. I made the decision already. Dimitris and I would never work, we just won’t. He may love me now, but it’ll never last. Besides, he deserved more than me, I was sure of it. I knew it. “I won’t change my mind. I never do.”
“Then, this is for the best. You acting like a bitch makes it easier. I’m better off,” he fired back, eyes flashing at me.
He simply looked dangerous and I was getting aroused at the very thrill he was radiating. “Peachy. Anything else to get off your chest, husband?” I wanted to push his buttons. I wanted us to fight and hate each other so that we both won’t ever look back.
“Anything else to get off, wife of mine?” Dimitris yelled in my face, hateful.
“Very much,” I gritted out before he took me punishingly.
The desperation was potent and it never failed to give a hollowed feel deep inside,
but I knew I was doing the best thing.
I was damaged goods and I was not capable of trusting anyone with my heart. At a young age, I had learned it the hard way. Once you offer your heart to another man, there’s no going back. I was a product of that. I was a damaged woman and Dimitris deserved more than that. He needed a woman like Claudine, someone who was the total opposite of me.
Twice he roared his anger into me, shattering me, making me scream as he bit and gripped me, hard. I pulled his hair, scratching him with my nails, biting his lip and drawing blood.
Raw and animalistic, we mated.
“Dimi!” I shrieked, almost blacking out when he released his semen inside me, I failed to note how many times we’d had unprotected sex since I’d returned to Greece.
He slowly slid me lower to the carpeted floor, legs all numb, tingly and shaky. I felt him breathe me in, slowly and excruciatingly, before releasing his hands from me then his entire body.
My eyes followed him while I was still shaken up from our tumultuous sex against the wall.
Dimitris got dressed, not glancing my way while I watched his every move, not knowing what to say. Without a word, he slammed something on the side table then left the closet, not even directing me an angry glance, a goodbye… anything.
I gasped when my eyes went to the table.
His wedding ring. He had it with him… all this time?
My tears were threatening to come out, but I bit into my knuckles, holding them back. Not here, not in this country would I allow myself to break down.
It took a good ten-minute pep talk before I went downstairs, ready to leave.
Bass, Emma and I took a limo to the private strip that had a jet waiting for us, thanks to Bass. When we got there, I was surprised to find Dimitris there, waiting for us.
Well, Emma and Bass.
After they said their goodbyes, I was contemplating if I should give him a hug, but that good intention was killed on the spot when he darted me a final look.
He never said a word, merely gave me a cold, hate-filled, sharp gaze before spinning around, walking on his heels away from me, towards his awaiting chauffeured Bentley.
“What a dick move,” I heard Emma exclaim, pulling me to get inside the jet.
I deserved it.
I had earned every ounce of his scorn.
~Dimitris~
I decided that it was best to ride in a separate vehicle and meet them at the airstrip. Distancing myself was what I needed to learn. I would have to endure it even if it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Letting her go for good was gutting me alive, but what could a man do? I did everything imaginable to make her happy and I still pursued, thinking I could change her mind. In the end, though, how could I make her happy when I was the person hindering her from achieving the happiness she sought so badly?
When I saw their vehicle come into view, I came out of mine and strode towards Bass and Emma, not bothering to glance her way. “We’ll meet again soon, my friend.” Patting Bass on the back, I wished him good luck with that gargantuan problem in his hands.
If he had swallowed his pride and never left Emma, he wouldn’t be in the precarious position he was in now. I understood his pain because I was in a dilemma of my own, but at least Emma wanted to stay; she was willing to work it out as a couple. Mine didn’t even give me a moment’s notice. Lindsey simply ran for the hills, leaving me without a backward glance. Bass and Emma had love, which we severely lacked on her part.
Giving Emma a hug, I was almost in tears when she kissed my cheek, whispering into my ear, “Hang in there. I’m a phone call away. I love you. Take care of yourself, D.”
Everyone knew what I was feeling and yet here I was, pretending that the woman standing close to Emma meant nothing to me. When Lindsey tried to move as if to hug me, I shot her a nasty look, setting her in her place. Her meaningless hugs and concern I could do without.
Striding towards my awaiting ride, I vowed never to let a woman get to me like Lindsey had done. For this was almost a shot too unbearable to go through. It wasn’t the kind of pain that I could take some magic pill to make it go away. It was just there, weighing on my heart and constantly reminding me that I had lost the love of my life.
Though it was hard, I had no choice in the matter. Even if the thought of holding her prisoner merely in order for her to be with me was tempting, my conscience wouldn’t forgive me if I ever did that. It wasn’t Lindsey’s fault that she was in this mess. It was mine. From the moment I’d met her, I practically inhaled her on the spot. Not only was she beautiful, but also sharp, confident and she had a sarcastic sense of humor. Yes, the exterior was impressive, but the interior, I knew, deep down, held a vulnerable woman who needed someone to protect her and to love her. I wanted to be that man. So much so that I was past besotted. I undoubtedly wanted to make her mine. My wife.
My mother used to pester me about my personal life and how many women I’d dated through the years. One night, my father interrupted, telling my mother that when the right woman came along, I would be a changed man. He said that it happened that way with my mother.
My luck unfortunately wasn’t like my father’s. Sadly, I just had to live with that.
My mind was all over the place when my phone distracted me, easing out a tiresome sigh from me before I took it. “Yes?”
“She left?” Pappou sounded sad, I knew quite well how taken he was with her. I knew he’d been holding out for a reconciliation, almost sure that it could very well happen because he told me that Lindsey and I ignited each other when our eyes connected. That observation had been very much out of par.
How the hell did I manage to go through this rampaging nightmare? “Yes, Lindsey’s gone.” I managed to say, acting like it hadn’t mattered, when deep down, in my pillaged, eviscerated heart, Lindsey was my everything; my life, my heart, my soul and my future.
“Face your pain tonight and put it aside tomorrow. Fly out to Paris and seek Claudine. I’d rather that you be in the company of a woman who cares for you than be all on your own.” Pappou sighed on the other end. “Are you sure you can’t convince her to come back? Why don’t you give it a few days, she might change her mind and realize that she wants to be with you. Sometimes it takes for the person to be gone to realize their true value. This is still a possibility. Don’t lose hope yet, my boy.”
Somber, I spoke with evident pain, “We shall see.”
Chapter 15
The first day back was odd. I woke up thinking I was still in Athens, in his bed. Best I get used to the idea of not having him around. I knew I had spent a week with him, but it somehow felt as if it had been more than that.
Groaning my frustration out, I perked up when I heard Brody’s voice in the hallway, talking to Emma.
Was my brother here, too? I’d rather that he wasn’t. I couldn’t stand his googly-eyeing Emma like sick puppy.
I was grateful for Emma covering up for me about Greece. I was still reeling from the events and I didn’t need to divulge the how, what, when and why about my four-day run being a married woman.
Not moving, I anticipated the moment when Brody would knock. It took him a couple of minutes before he did so, opening my door. Seeing his familiar face was great, but that usual thump-thump wasn’t there. Give it time, I thought encouragingly. Some things needed getting used to. Like in two months, I was going to be a divorced woman. That shit definitely needed getting used to.
“How was your vacation, pookie? I’ve missed you around here.” Brody sat on my bed, kissing my cheek.
It had been like no other, most definitely. “It was different.”
Brody got comfortable, half-sitting as he leaned on his elbows, he took his shoes off and placed his legs against mine. “I tried calling your phone, but it goes straight to voicemail. Did you lose it or something?”
That phone was somewhere in Athens—broken apart, dead and useless. “I lost it. I’m planning to head out and get a new one. Want to come with?” I offe
red, not wanting to think of Athens.
Or glowing eyes.
Anything Greek related, I should avoid.
“Sure. Do you want me to wait here or outside while you get ready?” Brody asked, looking like he wanted to kiss me, but I couldn’t do it. It would be wrong, so wrong.
“Outside. I need to shower and stuff. Give me fifteen, yeah?”
“Fifteen, it is.” He got up and kissed my forehead. “Welcome home, love of my life.”
My life, I thought with a sinking feeling. Then why did it feel like I was living someone else’s?
~L~
That night, I was in bed, having a hard time sleeping. I just needed some comfort and the sudden thought of my blankie got me depressed.
He never gave it back. When I was in his arms, I slept soundly, thus making the point of my blankie irrelevant. Now, though, I needed it more than ever and Dimitris had it. I didn’t even have his number so I could text him to ship it back since the man threw my phone off into the blasted city below.
At one in the morning, I gave up trying to sleep, deciding to dress and take the five-minute walk towards my brother’s house, where Brody lived as well. Knowing that the boys didn’t lock their main door, I had no problems getting in. Like the rest of the world, had they decided to come and join the party—robbers and killers included.
I didn’t know what I was expecting coming here, but what didn’t cross my mind was to find Amber and Emma here—with Brody and Carter, my brother. Shit, woman. What was she playing at? “Does Bass Cole know you’re in your ex-boyfriend’s home at this hour?”
Their laughter died. Good, because I didn’t feel like laughing inside.
“Did you just come here to be a bitch, Lindsey? Emma’s not doing anything wrong,” Carter snapped at me.
He was always fucking protective of Emma, which was dumb and stupid because the idiot had an orgy while he was “so in love” with her. “I’m looking out for her, idiot! As for you, Emma, when are you going to learn? Didn’t you just tell me that you want to be with Bass and that you’re so in love with him? This—” I pointed at my angry-looking brother. “—will fuck him up, you hear? So unless you want him to crawl back in Nikki’s vagina, get your ass home!”