by Pamela Ann
Lost in the sea of scenarios that played through my mind, I had nearly forgotten I was a passenger in a taxi and on my way to his home until the driver parked then killed his engine. He climbed out of the vehicle and went around to the trunk for my luggage.
Dimitris’s household had security all around, with a few men shifting from night to day and so forth, but it always consisted of four buff men guarding his home. Ever since he had taken the reigns of their family company, he had said he was a favorite target of the media along with unknown and known enemies and loony trespassers; as a result, the drastic change in lifestyle was a necessity.
Thea, the woman who had taken care of him since infancy, was the person running his household. I wasn’t sure if she would be there, but I did hope the security personnel had been given authority by the boss to let me through. I vaguely recalled him mentioning it, but that had been months before. Things could have changed since.
Upon paying the driver with a hefty tip, I dragged my belongings to the double-gated entrance, putting myself in clear view for the security cameras. It didn’t even take a full minute until someone came out of the small, detached entry gate, greeting me in Greek.
“Hi. Sorry—” I started to say, but immediately stopped myself when I realized I meant to apologize for bothering them at this time of the night. If I was to stick to my old wretched persona, apologizing in situations that need not be should be scrapped from the get-go. “Lindsey Mason,” I stated in a succinct tone before handing him my passport. “I’m your boss’s ex-wife and current mistress, and I’ve taken two long flights to get here, so if you’re done walkie-talking to your buddy there, I’d appreciate it if you let me through so I can finally rest before jet-lag settles in. I’m going to be a dreaded walking zombie that will bite the head off anyone who greets me ‘hello’ otherwise.”
He considered me a moment before he spoke into his walkie-talkie in rapid Greek. I only caught the word wife before he politely apologized and took hold of my belongings just as the gate opened to let me through. Through our short journey from the gate to the house sitting atop the hill, he informed me most of the household staff wouldn’t be back for two days, and the boss was at his grandfather’s house. Therefore, if I needed something, I would have to call the security post, which was a small office adjacent to the main house, and someone would immediately take care of it for me.
I gave the young Greek man named Leo a grateful smile before thanking him once we reached the front entrance of the home. He seemed friendly, with enough Greek charm to make anyone swoon a little. However, I was too out of it to even spring back the fiery flirty side of me. I doubted that side would ever resurface, since the only man I wanted more than anything was fucking around with my Godforsaken mind.
The moment I entered Dimitris’s home and the kind Leo left me all to my lonesome, I stood still in his brightly lit foyer, gazing over his gorgeous home, remembering the first time I came here. He had asked me what I thought of it and how fitting it would be for his new life and what he ought to personally achieve since he’d planned to move on from me. His old home, which had been an entire building fitted to his liking, was actually the place where he had blessed me with so much love and devotion. That place consisted of so many amazing memories of the beginning of us that this home palled in comparison. Sure, we had fought and made up in this beautiful place, but it held another significance—this house had been bought because he had meant to house Claudine in it along with his future children.
This house had nothing to do with me; it was entirely about him and Claudine. Staring at its gorgeous lavishness, I wondered if he ever came home and stood there, just as I was doing right that instant, pondering what life might have been had he pursued what his mind was set on. Had he done so, he would possibly be greeted by his first child with Claudine.
It was pointless to torture myself in such a way, yet it was my way of thinking with perspective, seeing what the future was supposed to be. A part of me understood why Claudine hadn’t left his life—that she was fighting for what she thought was rightfully hers—because, in a way, she had healed him; thus shaping him to the man he was. It was she who had cured him. It was she who had listened to him spout the brokenness that was eviscerating his existence. And, if he was right in his statement that he had meant to head down the same route Carter had, then it was Claudine who had saved him.
I was the culprit behind it all—the bad guy—and even after it all, I had the gall to take it all away once she had patched the destroyed Dimitris.
Then there I was again, threatening it once more, willing to fight her nail for nail, tooth for tooth, wrath for wrath, for what we both loved.
Good luck to us both. May the best bitch win
Chapter 15
Dimitris
After several missed calls and ignored voicemails, my phone beeped for a text message, stating Lindsey had arrived thirty minutes prior and was now inside my home. Since I hadn’t picked up any of their calls and she was on the approved list of people to be let through, they hadn’t questioned her when she asked to go inside. My security team was meticulous with these sorts of situations.
I couldn’t help dreading Lindsey’s surprise visit, especially after the scandal that had greeted me early Christmas morning. Had she shown up the night prior, I would have been overly rapturous. However, after the enormous shame, which I had no clue who was behind, I had been placed me in a supremely vulnerable position. The media had no idea the kind of damage they had unfolded.
So, there I was, stuck in my parked car at Pappou’s villa after bidding them all a blessed goodnight, trying to figure out how to face the woman who would surely leave me in a heartbeat. Was that why she was there, to confront me about it? I was almost certain she had an alert on her phone every single time my name appeared on the internet. If that was the reason, why hadn’t she called me to begin with? At least then I would have had an idea or a roughened estimate of her anger or if I was still redeemable in her eyes.
After the news had broken, I had immediately called Claudine, demanding to know if she had any part of it. The photos, though obviously taken from the windows, made it glaringly and unmistakably clear who the subjects were, making me wonder how anyone could have gotten that close.
When Pappou called an hour later, reserving his lecture as he inquired what it was all about, I was utterly bereft as I found myself questioning the events of that night. Undoubtedly, there were things I had done yet only had a vague recollection of.
“Lindsey … fuck. I’m sorry,” I whispered much to myself, destroyed at the knowledge that I had almost had what I wanted, and through reckless actions, I was about to lose it all once more.
How often had I ignored Lindsey’s warnings and wiles, demanding that I stop seeing Claudine? Surely, she had sensed something that I couldn’t. However, it was too late for regrets. I must deal with whatever the outcome of my dishonorable actions would be.
I felt like a man who was bound for the scaffold, ready to be executed. It wasn’t a far-fetched contrast since Lindsey held the key to my future, and without her…
“Fuck!” Groaning, I closed my eyes, recalling that very fragile moment when she had decided to leave me the first time, never having experienced anything like it before. The distinct, lacerating ache I had felt in my chest was unforgettable, and it was only a matter of time until she gave me the same gift I had vowed to never experience again. The joke was clearly lost on me because, this time, it was my doing.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I reluctantly turned on the engine before pulling out of the villa and heading for home. As much as I wanted to stay and never face the confrontation that awaited me, I couldn’t hide from her forever. I wasn’t a coward, yet time and time again, when it came to the woman I loved, she always proved me otherwise. Had it been a different woman, I was almost positive I could cajole her into forgiving me or at least work on forgiveness. However, this was Lindsey, and Lindsey Mason was a cali
ber all to herself.
She had enough money in her own right that it wouldn’t entice her if I offered to double her worth in return for being pardoned from this large-scale mishap. Had it been someone else, I could have showered them with presents and sincere promises that would benefit us both, but again, I knew Lindsey couldn’t be coaxed into anything unless she had convinced herself it was for the best. Of course, one could always resort to proposing marriage since she had persisted it less than a week before, but I had a feeling it was too late.
The drive from my Pappou’s villa to mine was rather short since I hadn’t minded the speed limit. I got home in less than ten minutes when it normally would have taken me half an hour, give or take. Once the gate opened, I barely acknowledged the security men before driving past them. The second I shifted my car into park, my heart soared as it heavily pounded against my chest, seeming as though it was about to come out of my body. My forehead started to get hot while my hands began to sweat. Every single part of my body felt alive, fully functioning to its full capacity, like I was on illegal narcotics.
Huffing out a sigh, I silenced the voices in my head, wishing myself the very best of luck before gripping the door handle and entering the foyer. Closing the door behind me, I listened for any noise emitting from anywhere, trying to easily locate her. Much to my luck, there wasn’t any sound other than the dead silence of the night.
Without breaking my stride, I knew she had probably gone to bed, sleeping from the long flight like she usually did. Taking the steps two at a time, I finally got to the second floor and sharply turned to the opposing hall that led to the wing which housed my bedroom.
Pacing towards the enclosed doors, I gradually yanked my tie, loosening it as I readied a speech. However, when I opened the door with my stampeding heart bouncing in madness, I was greeted by the sight of her in a small, skimpy nightdress, blowing on her black lacquered nails with a bright smile on her beautiful face. A face I memorized to heart.
“Surprise!” she exclaimed before she ran up to me and gave me the kiss of a lifetime. “Merry delayed Christmas, baby,” she huskily murmured against my lips.
I was momentarily taken aback from her loving reception. I wasn’t sure what to do next. It probably took me a second or two before my arms encircled her petite form, hugging her as if it were the last time.
“Merry late Christmas, agape mou.” My voice cracked upon saying the words, emotions running too deep. I couldn’t help feeling a little relieved that she hadn’t greeted me with a knife upon entering the bedroom.
“…waited so I thought I’d keep myself up by doing my nails,” she was blabbering about her nails, making me frown a moment. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I want to be all over you, but my nails aren’t dry yet.”
Relief coursed through me as I simply enjoyed the sound of her voice, holding her close to my heart. I could very well lose all of this very soon if I don’t tell her what is going on.
There was nothing worse than breaking something so amazing such as this; it was somewhat diabolical to even consider it. However, I rather she heard it from me because, by the time the sun came up, I was as sure as fire that she would eventually get a whiff of it.
“Baby,” she softly murmured, “what’s wrong? Why aren’t you saying anything? Did I come at a bad time?”
I shook my head, feeling like a complete fool. “I just missed you. I wanted to hold you for a while longer.”
She sighed before leaving a soft kiss on the base of my neck. “I’ve missed you, too, more than you’ll ever know.”
Say it, my mind raced, pushing me on. Say it. “Linds …”
“Hmm?”
I hesitated a moment, gathering some air into my lungs. “There’s something I must tell you.” Cupping her pretty face, I gazed into the eyes of my future that I coveted with my entirety. “I …” My heart stopped racing as her dark eyes flickered back and forth, waiting. “You see, there’s this development, and I …” Royally fucked it all up, my mind butted in, but my tongue held its ground, hesitant to say the words that, once spoken, could never be taken back.
Fuck.
With my brows furrowed, I pressed my forehead against hers with my eyes closed, torn apart from wanting to confess what was going on and also wanting to save her from the hurt that would surely wreak havoc between us.
“I don’t know where to start with this, but I have to ask something of you.” This was it. This was the end of it all. “I… would it …” I paused before taking another breath. “Would it be possible if you stayed away from the internet for a little while?” I was a coward, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. It was right on my tongue, the words that would put us back into limbo, but I couldn’t do it. For the life of me, I just couldn’t afford to lose her. Everything else but her.
“Why? What’s going on, Dimi? What happened?” She sounded alarmed, shaking me a little, forcing me to open my eyes to gaze into hers. Her gaze sought the truth from my guarded one. “What did you do?”
“I can’t explain it yet, but I beg of you, grant me this one request, and I promise with all that I am, I’ll fully disclose everything.” My security and my team of lawyers were all investigating who had taken the photos and how they had surfaced. However, without the full details in hand, I simply didn’t want to tell. “Please,” I begged. “I know this is too much to ask, but I just can’t risk it all.”
She frowned, looking betrayed and frightened all at once. “You’re scaring me,” she whispered. “What did you do that’s gotten you this way?”
“Lindsey—”
She rapidly shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “What did you do this time?” She was slowly retreating from me, and I didn’t have the words to comfort her.
I hated the very sight of her tears. Most of all, I hated the fact that I was the cause of it.
“Dimi?” she asked in a small, broken voice.
Reaching out to her, my arms held on like bands of steel. For a second, I treasured the feel of her beating heart against my body, her softness, and her scent that gave me the sweetest dreams. I memorized it all like it was the last time. The back of my throat hurt from trying to contain the unfurling emotions inside me.
“I love you. Do you know that?” I roughly declared before readying to lay my heart in her hand. “The things I said in LA … I hope you know that I would give anything to take them all back. Whatever happens, don’t ever let doubts and other people’s opinion sway you from the truth.” Taking her hand to place against my beating heart, I bore into her welling eyes. “You’re always going to be here. It’s going to be your name I’ll whisper for the last time before death takes me. It’ll be your face I’ll think of before darkness takes me. No one—no one will ever take your place. You must understand that, no matter what happens, no other woman can replace where you reside.”
She sobbed, lips quivering as she held her palm against my heart. “Please stop! I can’t—I can’t do this right now,” she stammered before giving me a pleading look.
The back of my eyes stung, burning as I watched her quietly weep. I felt helpless, but I knew there was nothing that could shield her from the hurt that would surely break us apart.
“If I don’t, I might not have the strength to do this again.” The process itself was killing me. “I’ll try to condense it, and I vow to answer all your questions as honestly as I can. I am so sorry …”
With her face marred by tears, she barely glanced at me as she kept sobbing softly. “I don’t want to hear it. Not right now …” she pleadingly cried, hiccupping her words. “I’m not ready. Whatever it is, I’m just not ready.”
“But you must hear what I have to say, and I’d rather you hear it from me other than the media or someone else. You have to know my side—”
She wept harder before her knees buckled, falling onto the ground to sit on her heels. “I don’t have that many happy memories, and the little I have, most of them were made with you.” Her shatt
ered, small smile dug itself into my heart, my very existence. “I have given myself completely, loving you unconditionally, with no reservations for my own safety. I’m sorry, but I just can’t let you finish, Dimi.”
“Don’t be sorry. You have done nothing, not a bloody thing. This was my own fault—my stubbornness and arrogance in believing that it wouldn’t be me causing troubles for us.” Taking a few steps, I knelt alongside her, cradling the back of her head against my hands. “I hope someday you’ll find it in you to forgive me. Everything I have said, shown, or proved to you before, you must know that they were all real.”
“I know,” she said, grasping at my shirt, bunching it with her fingers.
In the middle of the room, on the carpeted floor, we held each other close while I desolately listened to her soft, mewling cries. I had come so low that even I couldn’t fathom forgiving myself for hurting the woman I had vowed never to hurt. Not only that, but she had gone through so much hell at such an early age that I felt like the Grim Reaper. I had added more injury to her already shaken stance in life, to her already vulnerable disposition, especially since it had happened merely days apart from the scare she’d had with her brother and then the following fight between us.
Some protector I was.
There was nothing left for me to do other than castigate myself for my irresponsible actions. Though I had vague memories of that night with Claudine, what I truly remembered was spouting off about how I had felt after the visit in LA. It was wrong. I knew that in hindsight, but at that time, I had simply needed someone to speak to. Since she had instantly called me after I got off my jet, inviting me for drinks, I had gone, thinking maybe, if I aired out what I felt just this once, then maybe I would feel better for the decision I had made with Lindsey.
There was a lot of wine and brandy, but most of all, there were memories of me trying to justify the route I had chosen to take. After the third bottle of wine, things became a little blurry. Then, when I asked Claudine how and why we had ended up naked the next day, she had shrugged, saying she had no clue, either.