by Capps, Bonny
He approaches her and fists her hair, tilting her head back, he grabs a piece of the steaming meat and presses it to her lips. “Eat. It.”
She purses her lips as she shakes her head emphatically.
“Get your fucking hands off of her!” Gabriel hollers.
My father looks over his shoulder into Gabriel’s eyes. “No.”
Then his focus is on Amelia once more as he presses his thumb and index finger into her cheeks, unclamping her jaw.
“You couldn’t have my child, could you? You just couldn’t give me what I wanted. If you had, this would not be happening to you.”
With that, he shoves the meat into her mouth before shoving her jaw closed once more. Then, he squeezes her nose shut.
Her eyes grow wide, but she never lets down.
“Eat. Eat her.” He growls, and she manages to shake her head slightly. Her face is growing purple as her mouth and nose are held shut.
I quietly make my way around the table and grab a sconce from the wall. Holding it over my head, I say a little prayer before I slam it into the back of his skull. He crumples to the floor before I run over to Gabriel and fumble with the ropes.
They are tied so tightly, I can barely fit a finger underneath. My eyes search for something to cut it with.
I grab the glass pitcher and slam it against the floor, the glass shatters, the pieces flying in every which direction. Sawing through the ropes, I’m able to free him, but not before my father begins climbing to his feet.
I look towards Amelia and frown when I see that she’s out. She must have fainted.
“Come on!” Gabriel hollers as he grabs my hand. We run through the dark halls until we reach a door at the very end. Gabriel opens it, and I scream when decomposing bodies crumple to our feet.
Gabriel pulls me in another direction, this time up the stairs. We reach a bedroom and he locks it before shoving a chair under the knob. I run to the closet and locate a shirt before shoving it over my head.
“What do we do?” I implore as I look around the dusty, spider filled room.
He runs his fingers through his hair as he paces back and forth. “I don’t fucking know. He has my god damn gun. My fucking mother is still down there. Fuck! I can’t just leave her!”
“I know.” I whisper, placing a hand on his bicep. He yanks his arm away and narrows his eyes at me.
“Did you know?”
I frown as I take a step back. “Know what?”
“That I’m your fucking brother?”
I gasp as I ball my fists at my sides. “You can’t be serious. Of course I didn’t know.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” He says as he takes a step towards me. “I don’t want to believe it. I… I thought that I found something with you.”
Tears rise to my eyes in response to his statement. I felt the same way. I thought that I had finally found the only person who could understand my complicated self. Now, that monster has taken that from us as well, just as he took everything else. He allows you to believe that you are finally free before he rips everything that you ever knew from your fingertips again.
I’m so mad. I’m so fucking angry that I allowed myself to have that little, sweet taste of what life could have to offer, only to have it disappear right before my eyes.
I jump when I hear a bang on the door. My eyes snap to Gabriel’s before he runs to the window and pushes it open.
He looks towards me and reaches for my hand. “Come on. There’s a ledge and it leads to a trellis. There isn’t a way down, but it will get us up to the roof. We can figure it out from there.”
Another bang against the door sends me running to him. He helps me out onto the ledge and I swallow hard when I look down at the gravel two stories down.
I inch my way across the ledge with Gabriel beside me, grasping the trellis, I climb towards the roof.
Once on the roof, he grabs my hand and we run to the other side. I see a little glimmer of hope when I look over the edge and see that another trellis leads right to an overgrown garden.
“You two are fast.”
We both whip around and face him – our father. His face illuminates with each bolt of lightning as the thunder rumbles above us. The wind is picking up, causing the trees to sway as the leaves are ripped from their branches.
I look towards Gabriel as his jaw tenses.
“Is this what you want? To ruin lives?” He hollers.
My father shakes his head as a somber look overcomes his face. “I only wanted a family.”
Gabriel releases my hand and marches towards him. He shoves him hard, causing my father to stumble backwards. “A family? You wanted your sick fucking legacy to live on?” He shoves him again, “Is that right, pops? You were looking for The Brady Bunch with a side of psycho?” He keeps shoving until my father is at the very edge, then a sense of calm sweeps over him.
“Tell me why you’ve stood in the shadows every second of my life. Tell me why you wanted me to be like you. Why you set me up and made me think that I killed those women.” A sob escapes him as he continues, “Because I’d really like to know why you’ve turned everything that I’ve ever touched to shit.”
“Because,” My father rasps, “There is something dark in you. You’re not any different than me, son.”
“Oh,” Gabriel grits out, “But I’m nothing like you.”
29
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”
-Robert Frost
“You’re going to kill me? After everything that I’ve done for you? After the love that I’ve showed you?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Are you serious? You made me think that I was a fucking lunatic.”
“It was for your own good.” He sneers. “Do you want to be like every other zombie that walks the earth? Just another member of the cookie cutter society, being a slave to civilization – that’s what you want?”
I sigh as I look into the same face that I see each and every time that I look into the mirror. I recall how many times I’ve wanted to ask him why he killed, how it felt for him when the blood stained his hands.
Now, I no longer have the same questions. I no longer have this nagging need to understand how my mind ticks, because what I turned into was being implanted there all along. It wasn’t me. It was the shadow man.
It was my father.
“Tell me this.” I rasp, “What went through your mind when you cut my mother open and took me from her womb?”
He smiles deviously. “Nothing at all.”
With that, I shove him with everything that I have in me. I watch as he falls to his fate, and I feel just that.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
30
“There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.”
-Charles Dickens
THREE MONTHS LATER
I pace back and forth backstage as I wait for the models to line up for the show.
My heart is pounding, and I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.
Once Gabriel pushed my father from the rooftop, I felt so much anger and resentment drain from me. So many different emotions surged together, but in the end, I was left with gratitude. I was thankful for the man that vanquished my demon once and for all. But I was also heartbroken. I was devastated when I found out that the man that I’d grown to love was my brother.
I would be lying if I said that I still didn’t have this sick, underlying desire to touch him – to kiss him, and to tell him that we did it. We defeated someone that’s haunted both of us our entire lives. Of course I can’t do those things, because I can’t talk to him. I can’t find it in my soul to torment myself with his presence. It’s for the best. For both of us.
“We’re ready to go, lady!” Taylor exclaims.
I smile at her before my eyes travel down the uniform line of my spring collection. The models look ethereal with their larger than life hair
and their makeup done to perfection as it emphasizes their eyes and cheekbones. The lineup that I have is stunning, starting with swimwear and ending with formal. Now, we just hope for a smooth show with no twists of the ankles.
I watch as each model owns the stage, sashaying their hips before popping their hip out and posing for the audience. Each girl has her own individual flare as their unique beauty compliments each piece.
I sigh when it’s my time to conclude the show.
Smoothing my hands over my black gown, I look myself over in the mirror.
My hair is pulled up elegantly and my blue eyes stand out beneath my heavy eyelashes. My lips are red and my face shimmers beneath the lighting. My body is no longer skin and bones, but healthy curves which fill the gown perfectly. I look happy. I look healthy. Though, I am a mere shell of what I aspire to be. Really happy and really healthy. I suppose that all comes with time.
I step out into the blinding flashes of the camera as I make my way down the runway. Looking out into the sea of people, I’m thankful that I can’t make them out due to the cluster of flashing lights.
“Thank you,” I say as the models line up behind me.
“I’m Dani LeBlanc, and this is my spring collection.”
“You know, this guy just started working in my office, he is hot.” Misty says, propping her leg up on the park bench and stretching her fingers to her toes.
“Misty! Seriously!” I exclaim as I tie my tennis shoe.
She laughs. “He’s got these big brown eyes. You know, they’re kind of girly looking but still hot.”
I roll my eyes. “Why don’t you get with Mr. Girly eyes then if he’s all that?”
I follow the trail before she eventually catches up.
“I’m dating Tod, remember?” She says between breaths.
I look towards her. “Yeah, well I’m dating myself. At least for a while.”
She stops abruptly and places her hands on her knees as she catches her breath. “Have you seen him?”
I turn and face her. “No.”
Placing her hands on her hips, she approaches me. “Why, Dani? Didn’t he save you? Why are you running from him?”
I purse my lips as I look into my best friend’s eyes. No-one knows the truth. They don’t know that he’s my brother. They don’t know that he was my lover. I told Misty and everyone else that I went to stay with Gabriel because life was too much… that I got caught up in everything that happened with is family.
They only know that he saved me from his psychopathic father – they just don’t know that he was also my psychopathic father.
“I just want to leave the past where it belongs. That’s all.”
31
“Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.”
-Rabindranath Tagore
“This place is nice.” My date, Morgan says as she twirls her light brown hair around her index finger.
She talks. A lot.
Me dating a girl like her is more of an experiment than anything. Dr. Branson and Dr. Gnosh advised that I should go against my norm. My norm being sad, lonely women.
I guess I understand their logic. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That’s what Einstein said, so I guess I can’t go wrong listening to his advice.
I just don’t know how to carry on a conversation with somebody as normal as her. Even after my epiphany, I still am crazy in a sense. I mean, it’s expected after everything. I can’t just pop back into the world and expect to be this average guy with an average life. I still have my twisted impulses, for sex, not for killing. Killing before meant silencing the shadow that haunted me everywhere I turned. Now that he’s dead to me, I no longer need to feed him with the blood of others.
My sexual appetite hasn’t changed, if anything, it’s only amplified. I’m sure if I took Morgan home and did the things that I wanted to do, she’d take off running.
“Can you believe that?” She says.
My eyes snap to hers when I realize that I’ve missed most of the one sided conversation.
“What’s that?”
She scoffs as she continues, “He literally found out by the kid’s eye color. I mean, he’s a scientist and all, but that’s crazy. He said that the chances of the child being his was slim to none.”
I clear my throat. “Why is that?”
She pats my hand playfully as she rolls her eyes. “Haven’t you been listening?”
No.
“My brother found out that the kid wasn’t his because he has green eyes, the mom had brown and the kid had blue. He said that wasn’t possible… or that it was highly unlikely.”
I shake my head as I wrack my brain.
“What were the odds of the kid being his and having blue eyes?” I implore.
She shrugs, “I don’t know, like 10%... maybe 12%. It wasn’t likely. Anyway, he got the paternity test and found out that it wasn’t his kid.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, fumbling around in my pocket. “I need to go.”
I toss a hundred dollar bill on the table and stand.
“Where are you going?” She asks. I swear she’s about to cry as she looks at my vacant seat.
I kiss her cheek. “I’m sorry, I’ve got things to do.”
“I’ll call you!” I holler back to her as I hurriedly make my escape.
“I need a piece of your hair.” I say dryly as I hold the phone to my ear.
He snickers as he narrows his eyes at me through the glass. “You came all the way out here because you need my hair?”
I sneer at him. “Just give me your fucking hair.”
He leans back in his wheelchair as he surveys my face. “Put $500 dollars in my commissary, then we’ll talk.”
“Ease up on the play on words.” I growl. “I’ll put $500 into your commissary account after you give me your hair.”
He shakes his head slowly. “Fine. I’ll send it to you.”
“Fast. Send it tomorrow.”
He laughs dryly as he looks towards me. It seems that his green eyes have dimmed. He’s getting skinny from being in the wheelchair all day, every day.
He leans forward and props his elbows on the armrests of the wheelchair. “So. How’s life going on the other side?”
I laugh. “You mean what you didn’t manage to completely obliterate?”
He leans in more as a devious smile forms on his face. “How’s your sister?”
I force a smile as I stare at this sorry excuse of a human. “She’s doing phenomenal now that you’re in here where you belong. Send me the fucking hair, and you’ll get the money.”
I slam down the phone before standing and exiting the visiting room.
When I get home, I run up the stairs and enter my room. Looking over to the dresser, I see the brush that Dani left on the wooden surface, where it’s stayed since she was last here.
Grabbing it, I slide down the wall, pulling a strand of her long blonde hair from the bristles. Bailey sits beside me and sniffs the brush and I scratch him behind the ear.
“You miss her too, huh?” I whisper, and he tilts his head to the side as I hold the strand before my eyes.
I can only hope that I’m not setting myself up for disappointment.
I scan through the work emails that I’ve received.
My new office has a better view of the city, and sometimes I like to just watch as people go about their days. I like to guess where they’re going and what they’re thinking. Sometimes I like to make up names for them.
“Mr. Smith, I have an envelope for you.” Nora says from the doorway.
I look over my shoulder, “Thanks. Throw it on my desk.”
Once the door closes, I watch Dani below. I watch as she walks to the pastry store, and I watch as she drops a couple of dollars into the homeless man’s mug. The real reason that I moved to this office wasn’t because I felt that it belonged to me as the CEO of Smith and Son, it was because I have the best
view.
Sighing, I turn and retrieve the envelope from my desk before slumping down in my chair.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I tear it open. I run my fingers along the open end, afraid of what I might find. I received the hair from Gabe two weeks ago, and I sent it, along with mine in to a lab shortly after.
My life will change immensely either way that this goes. Either Gabe was right and she is in fact my sister, it would make our act vile and so wrong, something that I’ll probably have to seek extensive therapy for.
Or… she’s not. What then? Where do I go from there? I’m not sure. I meant it when I told her that I’d never let her go.
I quickly pull the paper from the envelope before slowly opening my eyes and discover the truth. My fingers tighten around the edge of the paper as reality smacks me in the face.
32
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
-John Webster
“Taylor, what is going on?” I laugh as she pushes me throughout the unknown location. My hands are out in front of me as I blindly trip over my own feet.
She giggles. “You’ll see, boss.”
I roll my eyes beneath the blindfold. “I hate surprises.”
“Shhh. We’re almost there.”
She gently grasps my shoulders and we stop. I smell food and hear whispers around me. I feel a gentle tug at the back of my head as Taylor unties the blindfold.
“Surprise!”
The multiple voices reverberate around the backyard. A wide smile sweeps over my face when I see my friends surrounding me.
White, twinkling lights are draped over the trees, and they reflect against the pool which has floating candles throughout it. Everyone is dressed to the nines as they approach me. Kisses sprinkle my cheeks and arms wrap around me, embracing me.
I do normally hate surprises, but this is just such a sweet gesture.
Once everyone greets me, they begin going off and mingling with each other. As they begin to fade into the outskirts of the party, I see my best friend with her hands held up as she spins. It’s her way of saying, “look what I did!”