Ron sat a bit straighter in his chair. By referring to him formally in private, Cook made it clear that this was not a casual conversation.
"Admiral, I firmly believe that in time our engineers will refine this technique to a higher level of reliability. If you're asking me if we could still miss something like this in the next few days or weeks, the answer is yes. We have only just identified this signal, and it will take time for them to get to the root of it. Meantime, the other stations are on watch for similar signals, and they will proactively report when something is seen."
"That's a nice speech, Captain, but I have a fleet to operate, and I need to be confident that they are working with all the information possible."
"It's no speech, Admiral. It's our fleet, too. Mrs. Wilson is working long hours six or seven days a week on this. The rest of my staff is equally dedicated to this effort."
As he paused, Cook leaned back in her chair and nodded, looking out the windows at the blue sky.
"I would also point out, Admiral, that I came here the moment the location of the signal was identified. There was no delay from the moment we learned that to when you heard it. I think that speaks to your concerns."
She looked back at him.
"I never lost a ship before, Ron. I don't want to make a habit of it."
Ron nodded and responded with a quieter, understanding tone.
"Yes, Patty, I see that. I know people on Otbara, too. But, first, we can't be sure she's lost yet; Second, if she is, she won't be the last. We can't get through this war without paying a price."
"How long has this monitoring been going on?"
"Late March."
Cook's face reflected her surprise. "So, two months, and this is the first signal we've seen?"
Her skepticism hung in the air.
"Correct."
"And we still think this is a worthwhile effort?"
Ron now sat back and looked across at the Admiral.
"Firmly. Don't forget that they just got a beating they could not have anticipated at Inor. Then Dunkirk slapped them again. Personally, I think they're deliberately quiet while they try to figure out what they're up against."
"I see."
"There is also the potential that there is a range issue. Meaning, that they are too far away for the SLIP scanner to detect them. I don't believe that, but it is at least theoretically possible."
"And how will we know?"
"Well, this signal detection would support the idea that they are not so far away, but truthfully, only time and experience will tell us."
"So, you're telling me to be patient and trust you?"
"Yes, exactly."
"I'm not very good at either, Ron. You know that."
"I do, Patty, I do. But I need you to support this plan. I think it has the potential to crack the war wide open."
"Really?"
"Yes. If we can get a handle on their communications, even if it's intermittent, we may be able to identify where they are, and where they come from. If we can identify their home world, we may be able to bring this war to a rapid conclusion."
"I like the idea of going for the throat," she said with intensity.
"Yeah, me too."
They sat for a moment, then Cook stood, Harris, followed suit.
"Thank you, Ron. I am sorry if I was harsh before."
"I would have expected no less from Operations, Admiral, no offense taken."
"Good."
Cook extended her hand and Harris took it, then he was out the door and headed back to his section. As he walked past Frances' office on the way in he heard her voice.
"I am happy to see your head is still on your shoulders, Captain."
He stepped back and gave her a thumbs-up gesture, then walked on to his office.
Kapteyn Station
Midday, Saturday, May 7, 2078
The Fleet's newest star base was in the southern constellation Pictor, near the red sub-dwarf Kapteyn's Star, almost 13 light-years south east of Earth and about 10 light-years south of Inor. Like most all red dwarfs, Kapteyn's Star is too faint to be visible from Earth, so it didn't get a name from the Greeks or Romans or even an obscure astronomical designation as part of Pictor. Kapteyn Station was much bigger than Tranquility II, with more space to provide rest and relaxation for visiting crews. Off-ship hotel space was available, and a small-town 'Main Street' of restaurants, pubs, and shops gave it a feeling of being back home. The sun in the 'sky' above Main Street was not a familiar yellow, but rather by the deep red of the dwarf star, a strange color to human eyes.
Carol was not on watch as Antares came into Kapteyn Station in the early hours of May 7. Commander Michael had insisted on bringing the ship in herself, even if 'bringing her in' really meant watching the Nav computer do it. Carol knew Dan Smith would be coming in on Columbia just a few hours after they docked, a happy accident of scheduling she was immensely grateful for. There had been so much on her mind, so much weighing on her heart, and she wanted desperately to talk to Dan.
It was almost 1300 before Columbia docked, but as soon as Carol thought they were within range, she sent Dan a regular text message from her phone: Corner Bar, 1800. He would know what she meant, and unless she heard back, he'd be there. As it was, he quickly responded Wilco, which made her chuckle to herself. Funny how all those old war movies we watched all night come out in the way we talk sometimes.
She was in the bar by 1745, anxious to be there when Dan arrived. This conversation was crucial to her, and she was still a little nervous about it. When Dan arrived, himself five minutes early, they embraced for a long time before they even began to talk. It was the embrace of old friends who had shared much and could not have been sure they would ever embrace again. Carol had already ordered wine for herself and the house IPA for Dan. He was particular about his beer, but at Kapteyn Station, there were limited IPA options. One, to be precise. Back at the University, their group had a reputation in the local pubs for strong brews, but try as she might they all tasted like rat piss to Carol. Or, rather, what she imagined rat piss might taste like. They kidded her incessantly about her cold, dry whites and the occasional Moscato, but they made damn sure she had one while they were comparing alcohol levels and IBUs.
They talked about shipmates and war experiences for a half hour, killing two rounds. Columbia had begun the war standing watch outside Pluto's orbit, positioned between Earth and Inor. There was no real good reason to pick that spot, but in the initial days of the war, no one had a better idea, either. Once the details of the Inor attack became clearer, they pulled back closer to Earth. If the enemy could exit FTL within the Moon's orbit, there was not much point hanging out in the Kuiper belt.
"So, did you ask Linda?" she finally asked, excited about his future.
"I did, and she said yes."
"Smart girl. Is there a date?"
"Yeah, next summer at the Fleet Resort. We've booked a set of quarters so plan to be there."
She smiled. "Unless the war has other ideas, I will be there."
Dan looked at her steadily as he turned the conversation to more serious matters.
"I was very proud of you, Miss Carol, after Inor. I saw Larry Covington shortly after and he said the same. Michael was right to promote you."
She looked down, sheepish almost, smiling at the compliment in spite of herself.
"God, Dan," she said quietly, "I was scared shitless..." After a moment she continued, "And I do mean literally - I didn't go for days."
That got them laughing again, but her face faded from the amusement back into a more somber expression. Dan let it settle for a moment and then asked the question her face was begging him to ask.
"OK Carol, what's eating at you?"
She smiled a little, revealing her stress.
"I need to talk, Dan, I need your help to think this through. Old friends are the best, right?"
He reached across and took her hand, gave it a squeeze, and let go.
"Th
ey are. And take your time. I have all night if you need it."
"I might." she deadpanned. After a moment she continued, quiet, almost contrite. "I know Court's an ass. I know I was an ass to attach myself to him." she finished, accusingly.
Dan inclined his head thoughtfully.
"Yeah, I knew Court was a jerk from the start. I never quite got what you saw in him."
"I thought I could, I don't know, bring something positive out in him."
"Like a conversion?"
She frowned.
"Nothing so spiritual. He was so smart and charming at first, it was hard to see what was behind the mask. But there was no changing him. Foolish, I know."
"We were all young, Carol. Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Young?" she responded angrily. "We only graduated last year for God's sake."
Dan held her eyes and responded quietly, speaking to both her heart and her head.
"All of that was before, Carol. You, especially, but all of us, really, are far older today than we were a year ago. Decades older."
She looked away for a moment, then back.
"I'm getting a little drunk," she observed, looking at her empty glass.
"I'll order another round!"
Again, she laughed, but the somber face quickly returned.
"I have a problem, Dan, a real problem." She sounded serious, despite her three glasses of wine.
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm in love." The last two words seemed to catch in her throat, as if she was afraid to let them out into the open.
"This is a problem?" he asked with a wry twist at the end.
"Dan! I think I'm in love with David."
Dan leaned back and smiled. It confused and annoyed her a little until he leaned back in and spoke quietly.
"Well, my dearest Carol, it's about time."
She looked at him in shock.
"What?" she sputtered. "What do you mean--"
"When did you see him last?" he interrupted her.
"I haven't seen or heard from him. It's just, somehow, I just all at once knew. You already knew?"
She didn't wait for an answer.
"I hate this feeling, Dan. I am not some damn drippy female. Why am I sitting here blithering in a bar?"
He frowned as she mocked herself. He leaned forward again and spoke earnestly.
"Because this isn't about courage in combat or strength of leadership. It's about your heart and facing what's in there can be harder for some than a firefight."
She looked away again, quiet, only focusing back when the pizza arrived. She killed a whole slice before speaking again. As Dan watched her, he could almost see her organizing her thoughts, prioritizing her feelings, considering her options.
"I am afraid," she said intensely. "Imagine that - terrified."
Her eyes flared at the word.
"I don't know what he'll say. We spent so much time together, but I don't know how he would feel about this."
Dan watched her for a moment, wondering if he should say what he was thinking or not. He decided he should.
"Carol, I don't know anyone who's ever loved another person more than David does you."
She looked at him in surprise, pizza sauce running down the corner of her mouth. She suddenly felt it and grabbed a napkin to wipe it away before continuing.
"I thought he didn't feel like that about...I mean...I always admired him...and we got along great...but...he never said...never did...anything to say that...I didn't think I was, I don't know, smart enough or pretty enough for--"
"Carol!" Dan interrupted her. "You're selling yourself, and David, way short. You're more than you say, and I think you know that. But David is, too. You need to give him a little more credit."
She started to argue, then thought better of it.
"Do you know how long?" she was calming down a little.
"Last time he was as drunk as you, he told me the first day of Freshman year. I believed him."
"Oh my God. He'll be pissed you told me," she said, mock-threatening.
"Not if this works out like I think it will."
And again, they laughed.
"But he never did anything about it." she said, confused.
"Didn't he?" She just looked across at him, not understanding. "He invited you into the study group, right?"
"Yes."
"He sat up with you all night working on courses you had problems with?"
"Yes — and I helped him, too." She was starting to see where this was going.
"Right. When you had a crisis with Court or school or whatever, he was there to listen, to support you, encourage you?"
"Yes."
"What does that sound like to you?"
She didn't answer, so Dan went on.
"David is methodical - he would not have approached you to start a relationship unless he was pretty sure you were as interested in him, too. You were with Rick, and he respected that. He would never have cut in on a classmate."
"That some unspoken male code of honor?" she asked, sarcastically.
"No, it's just who he is - his personal code of honor I guess. His sense of integrity, maybe. If I had felt about you like David does, I'd have cut in on that asshole without a second thought. But he couldn't do that, Carol. He could not risk turning you away from him. He had to be who he is and hope it worked out in the end."
"Will it?"
"You're asking the wrong person."
He waited for a response but she only nodded slowly, ripping off another hunk of pizza.
"You know, Carol, we've seen a lot together. You and David are family to me. I have watched the two of you together for years, and I have believed for a very long time that you and he are two halves of the same person. You won't be happy with anyone else and neither will he."
There was a long silence as she thought, her mind still racing as she erased another slice, and Dan sipped his beer.
"Ok, so what do you do now?"
"Cut Court loose for good, then figure out how to let David know, and figure out how to get to him. Too bad there's a war on."
"That is an inconvenience, for sure. Where is he?"
"Sigma, with Commander Davis."
"Well, they're doing the random search like the rest of us. You should be able to get a SLIP to him."
"Yeah, if I could just figure out what to say."
"You're Carol Hansen, Carol. You'll figure it out," he said, starting to laugh.
She kicked his shin under the table. She set down her wine and slice and looked at him for a long time.
"Dan, I'm not sure I would get through this without you."
He smiled and raised his glass.
"To our hearts and those we hold there. May we both see them again soon."
She lifted her glass to his, tapped it, and responded, "Meanwhile, we fight."
Dan nodded.
"Meanwhile, we fight."
Columbia
Kapteyn Station
Sunday, May 8, 2078, 0416 UTC
The lights coming on in his quarters shocked Dan Smith out of a sound sleep, still a little fuzzy from his evening with Carol Hansen, by The XO was over his bunk, shaking him awake.
"Sir?" he asked groggily.
"Smith - get your ass up. We are out of here in half an hour."
Smith blinked his eyes open and finally the XO came into focus.
"Half an hour?"
"Yeah. Otbara is overdue, and we get to go look for them. Antares, too. I need you on the Nav."
Now fully awake, he looked up at the XO.
"Yes, sir. Be there in...uh...right away."
"Very well. Try to wake up in the meantime, OK?"
That said, the XO was off to roust a few more section chiefs. Dan got up, gave his face a quick wash at the small basin in his cabin, and started dressing. His roommate, the Weapons Maintenance Officer, rolled over and covered his head with his pillow. Overdue, he thought, probably means dead. With that ugly thought hanging in his hea
d he finished dressing, flipped off the light and headed for the Bridge.
Antares
Enroute GJ 1061
Sunday, May 8, 2078, 0530 UTC
Carol woke up with a start, suddenly aware that Antares was underway, and in a rush. Looking at her clock, she saw the early hour, her typical wake-up time, but today she had the day off, in port no less, with a brunch date with Dan to finish up their conversation. But obviously they were no longer in port. She sat up on the edge of the bed to try to clear the confusion bouncing from side to side in her head. She had a small headache, too.
"Otbara is overdue," she heard a voice say quietly, it's Chula Vista roots still audible. "We're going to try to find her."
She finally shook herself fully awake and could process her roommate's comment.
"It's almost four days, so Michael decided not to roust you. We've been underway about an hour."
"Shit," Carol swore softly.
Marcia sat on the edge of her bunk. "So how did it go with Smith?"
Carol looked at her with a scowl not fully visible in the darkened room.
"Can't think about that now, Marsh. Did Michael come looking for me?"
Marcia shook her head, not that Carol could see it.
"No. I heard them running around just after oh four hundred getting some of the division chiefs up, so I went out. George said to let you sleep, and he'd get with you in the morning."
"Good, thanks," she paused, "Four days...shit..."
"That's twice in five minutes, Hansen. You're going to spoil that choir-girl rep if you keep this up," Marcia kidded her.
Even in the dark Carol managed to hit Marcia with her pillow. She got up, dressed, and headed for the Bridge before 0600 to see what she could do.
The time with Dan had gone well, even if she didn't have time to bring Marcia Soto up to speed, and part of her was thankful and relieved to have a clearer heart. But the rational part of her knew that the whole question of who to love and how and when might just be moot. They would have to live through the war for it to matter. Or would they? She suddenly asked herself, making the final turn into the narrow corridor to the Bridge. Might it not be enough to love each other right now, even if it was only until one of them was gone? No time for that, she quickly decided. Meanwhile, she repeated to herself, meanwhile, we fight.
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