Whiplash Hotel
Copyright © 2019 Christine Crean
All rights reserved.
Dedicated to Daren, Taylor & Emily,
My entire heart belongs to you.
1
The leaves she stared at mimicked her feelings at that very moment. They twisted and turned in pain as an unseen entity pulled and tore at their very core. Shaking and tossing them about, the wind was merciless, as one after the other fell to the ground. That tree would be left cold and bare for the world to see. Its leaves abandoned at the foot of its withering corpse. She had never looked at the world like this before. All around her, everything was being ripped apart. Amy knew that her heart was breaking as she walked along the winding narrow path. Why she thought a walk through the woods would help her, she didn’t know. Nothing much helped her since her husband left her.
The air was crisp and damp, as it normally was at that hour. Five in the morning was too early to go anywhere but she knew that if she didn’t get up and do something, her brain would most probably explode. Before Frank decided, he’d had enough, she never had any trouble sleeping. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out for the count. Her mother told her to thank her lucky stars that she could sleep so easily. Amy never realised at the time how right she was. She hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in a month. Nightmares haunted her when she did fall asleep. Visions accompanied by the smell of his hair. She loved that smell. Even after a long day at work, wet from perspiration, his musky aroma filled her with a feeling she couldn’t explain. It lifted her away to a place where nothing else mattered. She would cling to him as soon as he came through the door. Telling her stories of the day just past as she followed him up the stairs towards the shower. They joked together that Amy was like a little puppy following Frank around. She couldn’t help it and he didn’t mind. It was part of their day just as much as her waving him off to work in the morning. Frank swore that his day was not the same if Amy stayed in bed, as he got ready for work. Frank would intentionally open the curtains or turn up the radio that little bit louder. Amy never minded. Those few minutes in the morning brightened up her day. Brightened. Past tense.
The house was so empty she could hardly stand it. How was she supposed to carry on alone? This was not the box she had ticked, when she was a little girl. No, definitely not. She had specifically asked for the house, the nice car of course with the perfect husband and two kids. She thought that she was getting exactly what she wanted. She never saw it coming. Now, she had nothing. Well nothing, except for the empty house.
As soon as she got in from her walk she opened the laptop. She needed to get out of Dodge and as fast as her little credit card would take her! Anywhere would be good. Away from the pitying glances and the sorry stares. Some people just don’t have a clue.
‘Amy seriously daaaarling, there’s plenty of fish in the sea’
No, there’s not she thought. Just the one fish suited me thanks!
‘You were too good for him petal’
‘No I wasn’t! I’m a cranky bitch with continuous PMT, a horrible hair growth problem and an attraction to anything wine flavoured’.
‘I never liked him anyway’ was another of her favourites.
‘Well why in the name of all that is good and holy didn’t you share this information before?’ was her reply to that one.
People always meant the best but they also knew how to give that extra little sting in the tale. Marcy, Amy’s good friend for 15 years told her one evening over a glass of merlot,
‘I swear…I really realise how lucky I am. I mean I have Daniel. He’s not the best husband in the world but jeezz….I mean… HOW lucky am I?’
Amy could barely keep her thoughts to herself. Seriously. This ass never came home. He dilly dallied in his office, even at weekends. They hadn’t been away together for years and she was the lucky one. Yes. Lucky. That’s the word Amy would use to describe it!
‘You are SO right Marcy. I’d be very lucky to be in your shoes’.
‘I know what you guys had was good but you have to move on and get over it’.
This Amy knew was easier said than done! How would Marcy cope if Daniel up and left her.
‘I just don’t love you any more’ he declared and then walked out with his suitcase, a few cd’s, a box of books and the TV. That was it. Not even a goodbye. After Marcy’s gaggle of children left the coup, she was barely able to get out of bed. Amy had no choice. She had to get out of bed.
'I don't love you anymore?' What happened to ‘in sickness and in health and for better or for worse’? Amy knew that people never meant a word they said. Nobody took anything seriously anymore. Anyone can get married. Then surprise, surprise, if it doesn’t work, just get a divorce! Easy peasy. She was bitter but who could blame her.
Work was a nightmare now for Amy. This was not a death. Nobody close to her was sick but she had never felt so sad in the 28 years she had been in existence. Even getting out of bed was a huge task. Her legs felt heavy and her head ached. Unfortunately, for her, her appetite was still completely intact. She figured though that the few extra pounds didn’t matter. Size 14 suited her just fine thank you very much. Mind you, a bit of starvation wouldn’t go amiss. She was tired of looking at magazines with size zero models. What kind of message did those pictures portray to impressionable young people? ‘’When you eventually get to a place where you can’t feel anything but the cold as you’ve no fat left on your body, your stomach is stuck to your back with the hunger and you are sick and tired of eating cotton wool (zero calories) then you have reached happiness’’.
‘What hour do you call this, Ms Connolly?’
Amy winced as she thought she had made her way past Tom’s office without his beady eyes catching her. Tom ran TMR recruitment agency in Galway, where Amy had worked for seven years. She landed the job straight out of college, much to the jealousy of her classmates. At that time, jobs were few and far between. She really didn’t mind the job so much as the pompous man who made her life a misery. Most days she could handle his attitude but today she could live without it.
‘Sorry Tom, eh I couldn’t get parking’
‘Now Amy’ as his eyes rolled, she could see the tuft of hair peeping out over the top button of his shirt. It looked like he was wearing a black vest under his pink shirt. It disgusted her and the entire female population in the office. This was not a black vest but a thick layer of dark hair on his chest.
‘You really need to be more organised. I pay you for a full day’s work and nothing less! Do we need to have this conversation every week or is it that you are tired of listening to me and don’t hear me anymore?’
It didn’t matter that he could stroll in whenever he wanted. Take smoke breaks throughout the day, spend hours reading personal emails and talking rubbish to any one of his three girlfriends. Tom had a wife at one stage but she must have seen sense as he lived by himself now. All in the office wondered if each of the three women knew about each other. How could any man do that? Be with three people at the same time. Amy never knew that such men really existed outside of television until she met Tom. He had such a way with women. Not the women in the office. They were well versed in his ways. For some reason no one could quite explain, he could charm the knickers off any female in the street. Amy had witnessed him at functions and parties over the years and had no idea how he managed to appeal to so many. She didn’t know what it was but she guessed she could see how one might say he was witty and charming. Put into work mode and he was a different man completely. Now she wouldn’t touch him if he had two but there were a lot of women young and old who thought his piss was punch.
‘Em yeah, it won’t happen again’
‘Well now that I have you
, I need you to do me a favour’
Damn she really should have come in earlier and hid in her office.
‘Yeah, no problem?’
‘We have a few new people for that job with Medico, I need you to do a few pre interviews with Sean in Salthill’.
Thanking her lucky stars she wouldn’t have to look at him for the day, a few hours in Salthill might clear her head. She might even take a walk if she got the chance.
‘Sure’ she replied as she glared in his direction. Amy took out her notebook. She had a habit of writing down everything he said. He had caught her out too many times saying he had asked her to do something. When she did whatever he asked he would always say it wasn’t done right or she missed out on x, y or z. She swore to herself that he would never catch her out again by changing his mind and moving the goal posts.
On her way out to Salthill, she knew she would have some time before she needed to be at the hotel for a full afternoon of interviews. She would be able to fit in her walk along the prom, which was exactly what was needed. Parking was no problem. Summer was just over and all the kids were back at school so it was quiet with very little people around. The weather was still warm. Warm for the West coast of Ireland, in any case.
As she walked along and scanned the water, she listened to some random tracks on her phone. A few people walked by, some giving her a nod or a smile. Others ignored her. Her pace was even. She was in no rush but at the same time didn’t want to go too far from her car.
She spotted what seemed like a rock to plant herself on for a few minutes. The last time she was here, Frank was with her. She found that it was impossible to keep Frank out of her head. Every place she went to, every shop, in every restaurant, she saw him.
Trying to rid her mind of his face, she looked out beyond the sea. She loved watching the water, a few boats here and there bobbing up and down. The clouds moving slowly with birds swooping over and back, not a care in the world. To her left she noticed a couple walking slowly hand in hand. On second glance, she guessed that they were retired, out walking together most probably very grateful for the long life they have shared together. One of her favourite songs played in the background. As they passed, they both smiled a warm smile still hand in hand and obviously very happy. The tears began to erupt. This was supposed to be her and Frank twenty or thirty years from now. How was she supposed to go on from this? Meet someone else. Do the ‘dating’ thing. It would most likely involve faking interest in Formula one or Rugby as well as keeping her legs shaved. It meant waking up extra early to sprint to the bathroom to reapply flawless make up. The thoughts alone sent a cold shiver down her spine. No definitely not, she would rather be alone.
Amy felt so sad it was unbearable. She felt a physical pain, coming directly from her heart. Life alone was not an option but finding someone to trust in a world where men like Tom was six to the dozen, her heart sunk at the prospect of it all. The tears came and came. There was no stopping them. Her head rested on her knees and as she looked down at her skirt, she saw that it soaked up the river of tears. Shoulders heaved and breathing was difficult amid the sadness. She tried to make herself stop, aware that people were looking at her but to no avail.
Through blurry eyes, a figure hovered around her. Blinking a couple of times to clear her line of vision, a man in a suit stood a few feet away. Damn. Removing her earphones, Amy wiped her face with her hand. He was too close for comfort now. Didn’t he realise that she was upset. Some people just did not know the meaning of boundaries.
‘I’m really sorry miss but are you ok?’
‘I’m fine…’queue more crying ‘I mean, I will be. Oh Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this’
‘You’re grand. I don’t mean to pry but I was sitting over there and you just looked so sad…I couldn’t not…em…well just leave you’
The stranger shuffled from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable.
Suddenly a surge of anger came over Amy.
‘LEAVE ME! HAH! Now that’s a joke… Everyone else leaves me…’
Her nose was now dripping wet. She thought of the betrayal she had experienced. She didn’t mean to be angry at this poor unsuspecting stranger, but she needed to vent. He handed her a tissue out of a packet. Embarrassed at her outburst, she had no choice but to take it.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that…well…’ she felt compelled to tell this complete stranger what was wrong.
‘My husband, well he left me and …and …’
The tears erupted again. She started to think that she had open a floodgate. The crying was endless now. Trying to pull herself together, Amy stood up, but it was no use. She was a blubbering mess and this stranger was not about to go away any time soon. Her agitation was palpable.
‘It’s ok, you’re alright’
He moved closer sitting beside Amy. If she wasn’t so upset, it would probably alarm her at how close he was. His hand reached for the small of her back. Without meaning to, she leaned in towards him. They both said nothing while she cried and cried. He looked out onto the horizon while she let it all out.
‘I really should go. I’m sorry.’
Amy blushed from sheer embarrassment. She had never cried so much before. Out in the open and with a complete stranger!
‘That’s ok, I should be on my way too. Are you sure you are ok now?’
She wondered if she would ever be ok ever again.
‘Oh yes, I’ll be fine in a bit. It just all got too much and well.’
She trailed off looking at the ground, shame hitting her hard. He smiled a kind smile at her embarrassment.
‘You’re allowed to cry and by the sounds of it…. Well the circumstances called for it’
Amy knew that she would explode at some stage but she definitely hadn’t wanted it to be in the middle of Salt Hill just before an interview with some clients. Her clients…damn. Amy looked at her watch. She barely had ten minutes to get to the suite at the hotel. Sean would be waiting for her.
‘Well thank you for…well you know’ she shuffled from one foot to the other feeling awkward.
‘No problem’ he replied. Not seeming very phased at all.
As she walked away she noticed that he was indeed what some might call handsome. He had kind eyes, although she couldn’t remember what colour they were. His jaw line was square and his hint of stubble matched his ‘of the moment’ messy hair. He was of a big enough build with bulky shoulders filling out his suit probably much to the envy of many a man. She didn’t even ask him his name. Not that it mattered anyway she thought to herself. He was a kind person who happened to be there. Quite literally a shoulder to cry on.
Sean, as predicted was waiting impatiently for Amy. After nearly tripping herself, she fell through the doors of the ladies. Her face was a picture. Red eyes and dark circles to finish off the look.
‘Oh God’ she cried out loud. Amy smacked her oversized bag on top of the marble counter in front of the mirror. Her brother had a theory about women and bags. The bigger the bag the higher the maintenance the woman. He was probably right but Amy didn’t really give a damn. High maintenance or not she was very glad to have all the supplies she needed. Five minutes later she left the toilets feeling a little refreshed. God bless baby wipes, mascara, lip gloss and eye shadow.
‘Seriously Ame, if Tom was here, he’d go ape’
‘Screw Tom. He’s not here. You are. Anyway, leave it would you’
‘Sorreee. You do look a bit rough though. Time of the month?’
She gave him a look that would surely kill if looks had the ability to eradicate someone.
‘Piss off ’
‘Great comeback’
Sean was known as the office joker and was a massive flirt. At Amy and Frank’s wedding he had hooked up with or slept with (no one really knew the entire truth) both of the bridesmaids on the same night. He claimed that it technically wasn’t the same night. He slept with one after the meal and the oth
er after twelve. Three years later both Sharon and Liz were still not talking.
Sean was always immaculately turned out and today was no exception. If Amy didn’t know better she would think he was gay. He knew more about designers than most of the women in the office and had so many pairs of shoes she lost count. She believed the name for men like Sean was ‘Metrosexual’. She had read it in Marie Clare. If it was down in black and white then it must be true.
To be fair, they had a good relationship. They worked well together and laughed a lot. That said, Amy knew that she wouldn’t trust him as far as she would throw him. The few advances he had made to her were on drunken nights out but he knew she was married and would never even entertain the thought of doing anything on Frank. Amy was besotted with him. Her reply was always the same when he would chance his arm.
‘Sean my love…you’d get up on a cracked plate and only God knows where you’ve been’
‘Well my love, you don’t know what you’re missing’ was always his cheeky grinned reply. She had to admit, apart from his enthusiastic sexual advances, Sean was a very decent man at the back of it all. He was thoughtful, kind and he didn’t like to admit it but he often put people ahead of himself. His heart was big but if anyone dared bring it up he would reply with something rude or vulgar. Amy knew him for years even before she started at TMR. They met during college where they had the same lecturer for Marketing.
Always late for lectures and never on time with assignments, he stumbled in during a guest lecture one Friday morning in their second year. She had seen him around but didn’t know him to talk to. Landing himself beside Amy who was sitting by herself in the back row, he reeked of alcohol and looked like he had been in the same clothes for three days. How things had changed since they first met.
Knowing that he constantly missed class and couldn’t be bothered to take notes half the time she turned up her nose at him when he asked to borrow a pen. Handing one over all the same she leaned away feeling ill at the stench of stale smoke and alcohol coming from his general direction.
Whiplash Hotel Page 1