“Josh, stop. Please,” Miller begged, reaching out for her again.
She shook him off. “No! Not this time. I tossed my heart away when I fell in love with you when we were kids. I’m not going to make that mistake again. I can’t wait for you to grow up anymore.”
Josh took off in her truck, spinning mud high into the air as she left.
Miller stood on the porch like he was in a daze, gaping after her.
It was the first time I’d seen him stand still. “I think I fucked up,” Miller said to no one in particular, staring off at the trees as if he were still looking at Josh’s truck which was long gone.
“It sure seems that way,” Finn said, shifting me so he could close his jeans and pulling down his shirt to cover the wetness. I stood up and adjusted my dress while Finn went over to Miller and clapped him on the shoulder. “What did you do?”
“It’s more like what didn’t I do.” Miller flashed me the saddest smile. “I can’t lose her.” His voice was broken and cracked.
“So, don’t,” Finn said. “Fight for her.”
“I will. I have to get her back.” Miller’s eyes widened with his epiphany. His shoulders squared, his spine straightened.
“Did you ever really have her?” Finn asked. “Because I know I’ve been out of the loop for a while, but I’ll be honest. I’m confused as fuck right now.”
Miller sighed. “Dude, we’ve been fucking for over a decade. She’s my GIRL,” he said, defensively.
I leaned against his shoulder. “But does Josh know that?”
Miller scoffed. “Of course, she…” He paused and ran both hands through his hair, lacing his fingers together on the top of his head. “Shit,” he cursed.
Suddenly he was airborne, hopping over the porch rail. “She’s about to find the fuck out!” he called back with newfound determination.
“See you guys later. It really was a great dinner, Sawyer!” Miller drove off, fishtailing through the mud.
“You think whatever he’s planning is going to work?” I asked Finn.
He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’d bet on him taking a bullet before I’d bet on their happily ever after. But what the hell do I know?”
“I hope you’re wrong.” I leaned back into him.
Finn sighed and kissed my temple. “I hope I am too.”
Chapter 35
Sawyer
Mist rose like steam off the damp ground like it was making an offering to the sky. A prayer for night to become morning once again. The sun answered by rising slowly until its rays burst from behind the tallest of trees, bathing everything in its blessing of light and warmth.
Turning the dark into light once again.
It was while looking at that kind of beauty, that kind of wondrous creation when I couldn’t NOT believe in something or someone more of a higher power.
Church wasn’t something I had any plans on stepping foot in again, but I would kneel at the altar of the sound of the birds singing their early morning song, the splash of fish in the water of the swamp behind Finn’s house, the smell of the moss dripping from the trees.
I shifted the box I was carrying and took a deep breath, absorbing all that an early morning in Outskirts had to offer.
“What kind of festival is this?” I asked Josh who seemed lost in her own thoughts as well.
“You’ll see. But does it even matter?” Josh was practically skipping. “I don’t have to wear my uniform today and the sun’s out. That’s a win for today. I’ll take it.”
“What about Mill…”
Josh stopped abruptly. “No. We will not talk about him today. I’m not going to let him ruin it for me.” She started walking again and I followed. “Is Finn coming?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. When I mentioned the festival, he kissed me.”
Josh raised an eyebrow.
“It’s his way of distracting me or changing the subject,” I clarified. “But he seems off. He’s been protective. More than before. He doesn’t want me being alone.”
“Maybe he just wants you with him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s it. It’s okay if I’m with you or Critter or even Miller but he gets that pained look in his eye whenever I say I’m doing something alone.”
“Maybe he’s afraid you’re going to run off,” Josh pointed out. “You came into town like a leaf on the wind. Maybe he’s just afraid you’re going to leave that way too.”
“Maybe…” I said, thinking that there had to be more to it than that.
“Soooo…have you two…” Josh trailed off, pressing her lips together.
“What?” I asked.
“Have you two had…”
I waited for her to finish, but she continued to stare at me expectantly. Finally, she took the box from my hand and looked me in the eye. She spoke clearly and matter-of-factly. “Have you and Finn had sexual intercourse?”
My ears and neck burned. “Uh…” I shifted from foot to foot looking anywhere but at Josh.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Josh started walking again. She dropped off the box in front of one of the many vendor tents lining Main Street. “I wasn’t asking to embarrass you,” she paused. “Listen, I’ve never had a sister and my mom’s version of sexual advice was ‘keep your pants on.’” She chuckled. “I just wanted to let you know that if you have any questions about sex or about anything that I’m here for you, kind of like the sister you never had and probably never wanted.”
“Thanks,” I said, laughing with her. I felt lighter. Josh had become more than just a person who was kind to me. “I already think of you as family.”
“Ditto,” Josh smiled, hooking her arm through mine. “Now let’s hurry up and help Bebe set up so we can have ourselves some fun.”
Vendor tents and tables lined Main Street for a quarter mile in both directions. A banner was being hoisted over the street. When it fully unfolded I laughed at what it said.
“Outskirts Festival of the Swamp Yeti?” I asked, glancing to Josh.
“Yep,” Josh shrugged. “It’s a tradition. People come from all over the state. The food is great. The beer is cold and the music usually isn’t horrible either.” She pointed to a simple stage blocking the end of the road. The street in front was left open. An elderly couple was already sitting in folding chairs watching the men set up instruments and lighting on the stage.
The festival wasn’t set to start for at least another hour but Josh had promised Bebe she’d help set up her stand so I tagged along. Bebe looked relieved when we showed up to help and she quickly put us to work setting up a miniature version of her store, complete with clothes alongside her homemade soaps and jams.
Josh turned to slip an empty box under the table of Bebe’s booth and knocked right into someone dressed from head to toe in dark brown fur. “I see you came to my festival today young lady. Are you ready to worship your swamp Yeti god?”
Josh rolled her eyes and the Yeti took off his head, revealing a sweaty Miller underneath.
“Damn this thing is hot,” he said, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead.
“The beer tent just opened,” Josh said to me and Bebe. “I’ll be right back.” She sauntered out of the tent, swaying her hips.
Miller watched her until Bebe cleared her throat.
“Uh, I gotta go do…that…too…” he was still trailing off when he took off after her.
“Those two.” Bebe shook her head. She unpacked a beautiful emerald green sundress with thin straps that tied over the shoulders and a short skirt.
“Here,” she said, tossing it to me. “This will look great with your hair.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” I said, passing her back the dress.
Bebe put her hand on her hip. “It will help me,” she said, continuing to take out clothes from the box and arrange them on the display table. “If anyone asks where you got it, you send them over to see me.”
> I grabbed a stack of flyers. “I’ll pass these out too.”
“Now go change,” Bebe said, pointing to Critter’s Bar across the street. “The music is about to start. It’s my favorite part.”
I darted off to Critter’s and changed in the bathroom, storing my tank top and shorts in the back-storage closet for safe keeping. Bebe was right. The green of the sundress made my auburn hair seem more red than brown. It was fitted at the waist and flared out, the hem ending several inches above my knee. It even looked great paired with my brown boots. The top showed off a little cleavage which made me question whether I should put my tank top back on underneath, but I took a deep breath and told that voice to shut it. I wasn’t going to let any doubt stand in the way of me having a good time at my first festival ever in a town I’d fallen head over heels in love with.
“Holy shit,” Finn said, appearing in the mirror behind me wearing jeans and a tight white t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and pressed his lips behind my ear. “You look incredible.”
I shivered, as warmth stirred in my stomach.
Speaking of falling in love.
“I think THIS will look perfect with your dress,” Finn said, placing a dainty gold necklace around my neck and clasping it in the back under my hair. But it wasn’t just any necklace. It was my mother’s. The sunflower pendant gleamed.
“You found it!” I exclaimed, turning around to Finn and rubbing it between my fingers.
“This morning,” he said. “I know how upset you were when you lost it. I borrowed Miller’s metal detector and found it under some brush in about an inch of water. I polished it up, figured you’d like it better without an inch of mud caked to it.”
“Thank you,” I said, still not believing that I had it back.
The magnetic energy between us hummed. My lips parted. Finn’s eyes darkened.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here before I keep you from experiencing your very first Swamp Yeti Festival,” Finn said, grabbing me by the hand and leading me outside. The instant he touched me that indescribable connection between us took hold.
“You’re coming to the festival?” I asked, my jaw hanging open. “I didn’t think you wanted to come.”
There were a lot more people starting to arrive; when we got out into the light I could no longer see pavement on the street. Just bodies. Finn stopped and pulled me against him in the middle of the street. He kissed my lips softly and looked deeply into my eyes. “I came for you.”
I smiled up at Finn and stood on my tiptoes to press my own kiss against his lips. “Thank you,” I breathed. I was so wrapped up in Finn that it took me a moment to register the many, many faces of the people around us who’d stopped what they were doing to watch us and whisper to one another.
“Why are they staring at us?” I asked without moving my lips.
“Haven’t you heard?” Finn asked, playfully wagging his eyebrows. “Spotting me is rarer than a sighting of the Swamp Yeti.” He smiled and it was big and genuine and I could look at it forever. My heart fluttered in my chest.
On the stage was a man with a guitar singing a slow song. His voice was deep and melodic. The song was about being carried away.
“George Strait,” Finn said when he saw me watching the musician. He swayed his hips to the music with his arms wrapped around me and I followed.
“I don’t exactly know how to dance,” I admitted.
“Doesn’t feel that way to me,” Finn said, flashing me a wink. He twirled me around and I laughed as he pulled me back into him. “Feels like you’ve got moves you don’t even know about yet.” His eyes darkened. “And for the record, I intend to discover each and every one of them.”
I shuddered.
We stayed there in the middle of the crowd dancing and laughing until a new song came on. The woman was singing about being taken back to church.
“What’s your take on religion now? On God?” Finn asked me.
We weren’t so much dancing anymore as holding one another in the middle of the street while couples danced around us.
“I’m not sure what I believe in,” I answered honestly. “I think that whatever someone chooses to believe in it should be something that makes them feel good. Happy. Something that makes their lives better when they think about it. It shouldn’t be something that makes you afraid. Fear shouldn’t be involved in faith. Being a decent human only because you’re afraid of what will happen to you still makes you a bad person, just a bad one pretending to be a good one. It should like…it should be like this!” I exclaimed when a new song began.
Finn looked up to the stage then back to me. “H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line,” he said.
“Yes. It should make you feel like this!” I said as the music grew louder. “Music. Dancing. None of that was allowed. But how did I ever live without it?” I closed my eyes.
Finn chuckled softly as we began to sway again. Midway through the song I’d memorized the chorus and was quietly singing along.
When the music stopped I looked up to Finn whose eyes were on mine. His lips were parted. At first, I thought he was frowning, but then he lifted me into his arms and kissed me. Deeply. Passionately.
Lovingly.
He kissed me like we weren’t in front of the entire town and couldn’t hear the whispers of the people all around us.
Chapter 36
Sawyer
Finn was standing by the beer tent with Miller while I distributed the rest of Bebe’s flyers to the crowd.
Anytime I looked in his direction I found him talking to either Miller or Josh but staring at me.
I liked that he watched me. I liked that he looked after me. But I still couldn’t shake the uneasiness I’d been feeling about why he was being so protective.
I’d just handed out my last flyer when the band stopped playing and voices without the backing of instruments filtered through the air. I looked up to the stage to see both men and women on either side of the stage standing on bleacher-style risers.
They were smiling and clapping and singing with a passion and power like I’d never heard before.
I watched their entire performance as if I were in a trance. I was frozen. Mesmerized by the power and conviction of their voices. A man about my age with a military style haircut and perfectly pressed khaki pants, sang his heart out about Jesus and a sparrow while the rest of the group sang softly in the background.
I couldn’t help but smile when they started to sway from side to side. The was clapping the only background music while the young man finished out the song on a high note that grabbed the entire town’s attention.
The applause was loud when they were finished and I clapped right along with everyone else.
“Please put your hands together once again for the Christian Town Center Youth Choir!” the MC said into the microphone. More cheering.
The man went on to introduce the next act, and I went to go find Finn. The crowd was even thicker than before. I couldn’t even see the beer tent anymore through all the bodies blocking the way.
I turned only to bump right into another body on the way. “I’m sorry,” I said, looking up to find the young man who was just singing.
“No problem. It’s my fault. I saw you watching the performance. I hope you liked it,” he said. The crowd bumped his back and he stepped forward. We were almost touching.
I glanced around. Still no Finn. “I did. I’ve never heard music like that before. I really enjoyed it. You’re a great singer.”
“Thank you. I’m PJ and I’m the Youth Minister at our church. It’s a couple of counties over but you should come visit us one Sunday. I think you’d like our service.”
I shook my head. “I like the music, but I think I’ll skip on the service for now. Thanks for the invitation though.” I went to push past him but the crowd was blocking me in.
PJ leaned down closer. He was smiling a straight white smile. He placed his hand on my arm and guided me closer, his grip light,
but unwelcome. “I saw the way you looked at us. The way you looked at me. I think we could have a lot of fun. Can you sing? Music is a big part of the service and a big part of what we do at Christian Town Center. Every other Sunday we have a different...” PJ kept talking but I’d zoned him out. I wasn’t on high alert, but I wasn’t comfortable either. I just wanted to getaway and get back to Finn.
I looked around PJ for another way out but I couldn’t spot one. I’d just have to push my way through. PJ was still talking. “And then after I can take you to prayer circle where we…”
“I really have to go,” I said, pulling away one last time and trying to push through the crowd when he spun me back around by my waist.
PJ smiled. “But I haven’t told you about the youth program yet. We spread the word of…”
Suddenly the crowd parted like the red sea and Finn appeared, his nostrils flaring.
He ripped PJ’s grip from my waist and shoved him violently to the ground. Finn wrapped an arm around me possessively and guided me through the crowd that stepped out of his way as we moved through it. We walked right by Bebe’s booth where Miller and Josh momentarily stopped their arguing to watch us pass. “Oh shit,” Josh muttered.
“Finn, I’m fine,” I said, but he didn’t seem to be listening.
We were well past the crowd when Finn took out a key and opened the front door to the library which surprised me, but he didn’t give me time to question him when he pulled me inside, shut the door, and pushed me up against it, caging me in with his arms on both sides of my head.
He looked me over the same way he did after Sterling tried to assault me.
“I’m fine,” I assured him yet again. “He was just talking. The crowd made it hard to get away. You didn’t have to do that. He wasn’t trying to hurt me.”
A vein in Finn’s neck still throbbed. “I can’t lose you,” he cupped my face in his hand.
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