“No, it was just the part over the storage unit,” I reassured her. “I am here. I’m fine.” Repeating her same reassurances she just used to comfort me.
I chuckled to myself.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, her bright smile lighting up the entire room as well as my heart.
“Here I thought you were the damsel in distress. I was wrong.” I cupped her jaw. “As it turns out, you were both the damsel and the knight.”
I kissed her deeply and we spent the rest of the night and the following day not more than a few inches from one another. If I had it my way, we’d spend the rest of our lives in bed, but if we did that, I wouldn’t get a chance to show Sawyer a surprise I had for her. And as much as I come to learn that she hates surprises, this was one I could not wait to give her.
Chapter 27
Sawyer
My mother and I started seeing a therapist together. Eugenia Collins specialized in something she called Religious Trauma Syndrome. She was also a specialist in those who have experienced domestic mental and physical abuse.
And although Finn would probably benefit from talking to someone like Eugenia as well, he insisted he was fine. And because of the way he’d been whistling and skipping around while preparing for the baby to arrive, I was inclined to believe him.
Two days a week we’d make the hour-long drive to her office and we’d each do a session alone and then one together. It was enlightening to learn about how and why we react to things and how blame is so easily placed when it was no one's fault but the person who made us feel this way.
I know my mom was benefiting from it because I could see it in her smile. The softening of her features. The way she squeezed my hand every time the therapist said something she could relate to. There was pure happiness surrounding her, and again I couldn’t help but to think of how brave she truly was.
To be perfectly honest, it wasn’t so much the therapy that did it for me, but the time with my mother that I benefited from the most. Most trips I’d drive and while listening to the stories she’d tell and each time I’d learn more about the woman who’d given me life. And each week the life would return more and more to her eyes until I began to know my mother as the rebellious, funny, spunky, stubborn, and loving person that she really was.
She started working with Critter at the bar. Running it, I should say. And between the two of them, they took on the jobs of four people, just like Critter had done, although now he didn’t have to do it alone. She looked at home there. At peace. And if you saw the two of them interact, you wouldn’t think that two decades passed between them being together. You’d think that they’d been together their entire lives. That’s probably because in a way they had never left each other, at least not in their hearts.
Mom was also looking forward to being a grandparent. There were many nights when I heard her bragging about her future grandbaby to customers at the bar.
Speaking of grandparents, I finally got to meet my grandmother. Critter’s mother. The shrill voice from the kitchen. A woman I hadn’t managed to see in physical form in all the time I’d been in town. When Critter introduced me to her for the first time as her granddaughter, she simply shrugged and said, “I know,” before going back to whatever it was she was doing in the kitchen. And For some reason that made my heart smile because not only did I have a family, I had a family that included a crazy anomaly of a grandmother.
Finn and I had finally finished the library. He’d also found his passion. He’d started buying the half-built housing communities scattered around Outskirts. What had started as a bright promise of a future-turned into a ghost town nightmare, Finn had managed to produce an affordable, environmentally friendly, energy-efficient home in its place. The first one was already completed and sold and he was in the process of working on several more.
Finn had also managed to convince a very large car rental company to build their hub just outside of Outskirts by donating the land for the building. Which meant those homes he was building wouldn’t go unused and much-needed money would be brought into the town while the town itself would remain small and as charming as ever.
Construction wasn’t Finn’s passion though. It was people.
Me, our child, and the people of Outskirts.
I’d decided to rotate out pictures from the wall of the bar, with Critter’s permission of course, for a display I created in the library, dedicated to the people of Outskirts. Later I planned to incorporate more of the history of the town.
My first display was dedicated to love and friendships. It included an old picture of Critter and my mother. Two pictures of Josh and Miller, one of them arguing and another one of them kissing. A picture of me and Finn, his hands on my belly, as well as a picture of Finn, Miller, Josh, and Jackie when they were just kids. In the center sat a special frame. I’d cleaned the purple scarf that had somehow made its way back with us from the swamp and draped it over the corner of the picture of Finn and Jackie. “Thank you,” I whispered, kissing my fingertips and pressing it to the frame.
“What do you call this creation?” Wilfredo asked, coming to stand behind me.
“This?” I beamed, inside and out. “This is something I like to call ‘The Outliers.’”
A few moments later, with one snip of the giant scissors Finn and I both held, we officially reopened The Outskirts Public Library to the applause and shouts of our family and friends. “Are you ready?” I asked, pulling on the rope connected to the tarp covering the new sign above the door. We stepped aside to avoid it falling on our heads. Finn laughed until he looked up and read the sign.
Public Library of Outskirts
Dedicated to the memory of Jackie Callahan
Finn’s eyes welled up. “You did this?” he asked, looking over at me with wonderment and shock. He smiled down at me and held my face in his hands, planting a kiss on my lips. “Thank you,” he said, pulling back slowly. “You are everything.”
My insides melted.
Finn had hired a team to extract the rest of Jackie’s remains from the swamp. It turns out that the object I’d used to cut myself free from my restraints was a jagged shard of one of her bones. After it was all collected, Jackie’s parents asked for her to be cremated and Finn had her ashes sent to them in Tennessee where they’d moved after she passed.
Finn deepened the kiss like he was trying to show me the depths of his gratitude just dedicating the library to Jackie was my way of showing my thanks to her.
Critter cleared his throat nearby. “You two need to cut that shit out.”
Finn pulled back but kept an arm around my shoulder. “I’ve already knocked her up,” he argued.
Critter marched toward him and Finn dodged him playfully, bolting into the library. Not one to give up easily, Critter gave chase by way of slow determined stride.
“I guess we’re going inside,” my mother said, linking her arm with mine.
“Wait,” I said. “There is something I want you to have.” I unclasped the chain from around my neck and placed the necklace with the sunflower pendant in her hand and closed her fingers around it.
“No,” she said, trying to open her fingers back up, but I wouldn’t let her.
“This is yours. It was always meant to be yours,” I said.
My mother gave a reluctant nod. She opened her hand and held up the pendant. It glistened in the afternoon sun. I helped her clasp it around her neck. When it was secure, she held her hand over it, pressing it closer to her heart.
“You know,” she started, “when I found the keys for the storage unit that Richard was keeping my truck and camper in, I was shocked. I wondered why he kept them all those years, but then I realized he was keeping them just like he was keeping me. He didn’t want or need them to do what they were made to do, he just wanted to own them. I think in a way they were his trophies for stealing me back. I thought about taking you and jumping in that truck and driving away a million times. But I couldn't risk it, I couldn't risk y
our safety. I’m just…” she sniffled and wrapped her fingers around the pendant.
“You don’t have to, Mom. It's all okay now. There's no need to explain anything. We are here. We aren't going anywhere,” I said, grabbing her hand between mine and placing it against my chest.
“I just need you to know that when I bought that land, when I left you that box, when I wrote that letter, I didn't want to kill myself, even though that was the plan. I just couldn't think of another way to get you out. He wouldn't stop unless I was dead and I didn't want you to end up like me when you have so much life in your eyes.”
“Mom,” I said pulling her against me, relishing the feel of her heartbeat against my own.
“I never wanted to die. I only wanted you to live.”
I pulled back. “And I did.” I used the heel of my hand to wipe the tears from her face. “And so did you.”
When my mother and I walked into the library, she went to find Critter and I found Finn staring at the display that I’d created. “This is incredible,” he said, without taking his eyes from the pictures on the shelf.
“Thank you,” I said, feeling proud of what we had accomplished.
Finn turned to me. “I have a surprise for you too,” he said, pulling me into his arms. A wicked gleam in his eye.
“There are other people here,” I warned between my teeth, squirming against him.
Finn chuckled. “Like I would let any of them stop me,” he said. “When the crowd dies down I’ll show it to you.”
When the last person left and Finn grabbed me by the hand and started leading me away, I was still taken aback. “Oh, it’s like a real surprise,” I said, following him along. Much to my surprise we passed his Bronco parked in the street and kept on walking.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see, it’s not far. Are you okay to walk?” Finn asked.
“Yes,” I said. The baby had gotten bigger, but I looked a lot more uncomfortable than I was.
We walked hand-in-hand in enjoyable silence. The warmth from his skin pressed firmly against mine as it should be. Although I was much heavier with a big round belly full of baby, my steps were still lighter than they’d ever been.
Finn broke the silence. “Did you know that Critter threatened me again?”
“He did not,” I said, clapping my hand over my mouth and trying not to laugh.
Finn nodded. “He sure did. He told me that now that I’m dating his daughter, and because I’d knocked her up without marrying her first, that we aren’t to be friends anymore.”
“What? But he wasn’t serious…was he?”
Finn smiled and the dimple made an appearance. “He said he’s moved me up the list and has made me ‘enemy number one’ in his eyes. If I wasn’t the father of his grandchild, he’d disposed of me properly a long time ago.” Finn finger quoted the air on the word ‘enemy.’ “And if I hurt you, he’s going to, and I’m quoting him directly now, ‘rip out all my vital organs and leave a trail of them on the highway from here to Tuscan.’”
“Points for being creative,” I remarked. “What else did he say?”
Finn swayed his head from side to side. “Well, after making me promise to never hurt you, he told me he was going to hold me to that promise.”
“That’s not so bad.”
“At gunpoint.”
I laughed. “That sounds more like him.” Easily picturing Critter saying those exact words. I loved all his threats. They made me feel special and in a way, I don’t think Finn really minded them either.
“So, have you given any more thought into changing your last name?” Finn asked as we turned down a street I’d never been on before.
“Critter and my mom suggested it since she’s legally changed her last name that I should think about doing it too. I think it’s a good idea. A fresh start.” I admired the large oak trees lining the street. There was also what appeared to be a newly poured sidewalk, the first I’d seen in Outskirts. “I never felt like a Dixon anyway.”
Finn bumped my shoulder with his. “That’s because you were never a true Dixon, you were a…Critter,” Finn said, making a face by pushing out his bottom lip to show his teeth and tucking in his chin.
I bumped him back with my hip. “Ha. Ha. I know it’s a ridiculous name, but it’s my dad’s ridiculous name. Which makes it pretty great.”
We walked along in comfortable silence again until we stopped at a house at the end of the street. A brand new house from what I could tell. It was white with black shutters and a red front door. “Wow, it’s like a two-story version of my little house.”
“I know it’s not like the three-story Victorian you liked so much but I decided to turn that into a home for women and children.”
My shock almost outweighed the extreme happiness that just washed over me like someone had poured a bucket of water on my head. “You own that?”
Finn looked down to the keys in his hand. “Yes,” he said like he was reluctant to admit it. “That’s where Jackie and I lived. That was our house.”
I reached out and brushed my knuckles along the stubble coating his jaw. “It was a beautiful house, but now it’s going to be even more beautiful because of your plans for it.”
Finn turned and kissed the palm of my hand before spinning me back around to face the house. “Do you like it?” he asked, swinging open the little picket fence and pulling me inside. The flower beds on each side of the door were filled with tall sunflowers that reached halfway up the windows.
“I love it,” I said. “Even more than the Victorian.” It was the truth. There was something about this house that felt homier. More real. “Is this what you’ve been working on?” I asked, unable to tear my eyes away from it.
Finn had started taking on some smaller construction projects, but I had no idea he was building houses like this one. “Who is the client??” I was envious of whoever got to live in such a house but proud of Finn for having created something so beautiful. Before he could answer, I added, “Can I see the inside?”
I felt like I needed to at least see it once before it the house changed and became someone’s home.
Finn smiled that smile that gave me chills and threaded his fingers with mine. He led me up the front steps opened the door, guiding me through first and following behind.
My mouth fell open. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. It was the most amazing sight I’d ever laid eyes on. “Is this even real?” I whispered.
My state of shock wasn’t because of the beautiful grey hardwood floors running from a large living space into a vast and open white kitchen. It wasn’t because of the detailed moldings around the windows or the curved iron staircase. It wasn’t even because of the big dining room with a huge dark wood table running down the center that could easily fit ten people around it.
No, I was reacting to the thousands of tings covering the entire living room ceiling. They flapped around until Finn closed the door. Although the ceilings were high, the strings were long. As I stepped further into the room, they dangled only an inch or two above my head. “What is all this?” I asked, moving further into the hanging tings until they surrounded me on all sides.
Finn didn’t answer, but that was only because the tings answered for him. Every single one of them had the same handwritten message scrawled on them.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
-FINN
I spun around so fast that if I were any taller I’d be tangled in tings.
Finn was on one knee before me holding out a diamond ring shaped like a sunflower. Light and happiness and promise filled his already handsome bright blue eyes. “So…” he said, making me feel like I was about to burst out of my own skin, “about that last name change?”
Unable to speak real words because joy apparently drains your brain of real coherent thoughts, I joined Finn on the floor, kneeling to face him. When I realized he was still waiting for an answer I nodded so hard I think I shook my words loose. “Yes!” I final
ly managed to blurt out.
Finn placed the ring on my finger and pulled me against him. Besides, Outskirts, it was my favorite place to be. “I’m so glad we’re here, Say,” he whispered, his lips finding mine. And whether he meant here as in the house, the town, or as in the place in our relationship, it didn’t matter. My response was the same.
“Me too,” I whispered.
“I’ve got one more for you,” he said, pulling another ting out of his back pocket and handing it to me along with a black marker.
SHE SAID__________.
-Finn
And of course, through happy tears, I wrote in a great big YES.
In the beginning, Finn and I were just two outliers, each on the cusp of different societies. Together, we found our place and it wasn’t in the town. It was in the people of the town. The people who loved us. It was in each other. It was in the new life growing inside of me that we’d created.
It was in family.
Our family.
“And although it’s too late now,” Finn grinned slyly, “I feel like I still owe you a better lesson on procreation.” He ran his hands under my shirt.
“Is that so?” I asked as he unclasped my bra and tossed it to the ground. He made quick work of his own shirt, exposing his defined abs and broad chest.
My mouth went dry. My body hummed.
Finn pushed off his jeans and boxers, exposing his tight butt and muscled abs. I licked my lips at the sight of my beautiful man. I lifted my hips while he peeled off my panties and shorts. He lifted and settled back between my legs where I wanted him most. His hard heat throbbed at my entrance. “Are you ready for your lesson?” he asked, raising his eyebrows wickedly. His voice was raspy and hoarse.
“Yes,” I breathed, ready for whatever it is he wanted to give me. “I’m ready.”
“Good. Because I can’t wait any longer.” We were wild and passionate. Needy and desperate.
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