“There you are,” Robin said cheerfully. She gave Murphy a speculative look. “I brought my tea for you.”
“Well if you ladies are all set, I’ll find something for MJ and I to do.” His gaze lingered on Brooke before he turned and left.
* * *
Robin stared at Brooke. “That isn’t… Could that be?”
Brooke’s eyes filled as she nodded.
Robin handed Brooke a cup of the willow bark tea. “Tell me.”
Brooke sipped her tea. Where to start? “You’re the only one who knows my husband is alive. There were some papers that needed to be signed after my father’s death. The lawyer never said a word to me about Murphy. He just asked me to come to a meeting. It startled me to see him there. And I think it startled him even more. The lawyer explained how the farm now belonged to Murphy.” She took another sip of tea. “I figured I’d need to pack and leave. I thought that would be the end, but it wasn’t. He camped right at the edge of the property, and of course he saw MJ.”
“What was his excuse for never coming back? He left you all alone. What kind of man does that?”
Brooke shrugged her right shoulder. “He has some farfetched story about how my father told him I was dead. Murphy said that he came here when the war was over. He says my father showed him a grave and told him it was me.”
“What were you supposed to have died of? Where is the supposed grave?”
“There’s a large rock next to my mom’s grave, and Murphy said my father claimed that was my marker. Murphy told me he offered to stay and help my father with the farm, but he was told to leave. It just doesn’t sound like my father. I mean yes, he did lie to me about Murphy being alive at first, but he was trying to protect me.” She squeezed her hands into fists as a wave of despair threatened to drown her. “Robin… What kind of man doesn’t come to his wife after a war but goes to his family home instead? I mourned him for so long, but I decided to look for another husband. That’s when my Pa finally told me Murphy was alive, he just never came home to me. He thought it would take some of the pain away, but it made it worse.”
Robin settled one hand on Brooke’s forearm. “Listen, I know you’re hurting. I’ve seen it in your eyes, it must have been unbearable to know your husband was living elsewhere. It certainly wasn’t fair you not being able to remarry. I remember how excited you were when you had MJ and you couldn’t wait for Murphy to come home. Maybe you and Murphy need to talk.”
“Robin, we have talked. My heart is telling me that the only reason he is here is for MJ. I need to protect my son. Who knows if Murphy will stick around or not? And personally, I can’t take much more disappointment. I’m still grieving for my father.”
Robin slid her palm along Brooke’s arm and took her hand. “What way does Murphy look at you?”
“He looks at me like I’m crazy. He thinks I’m supposed to believe everything he says.” Brooke huffed out a breath. “And he’s doing a lot of work around here. I’m not the same girl he married, not by a longshot. I’m independent, and I can take care of myself. I don’t need a man around here. I’ve raised my son without a father so if he wants to go he can go.”
“Has he mentioned leaving?” Robin poured more tea.
“No, in fact he seems to think he’s staying. I can’t order him off his property. Especially since it was legally his. When he told me he was staying, I bravely gave him two options. Build himself another house or build himself a room off the barn. It didn’t seem to faze him. I look at him, and I remember how sweet and gentle he was. I remember loving him with everything inside me, but now that love has been replaced with bitterness. If I push… I’m afraid he might just take MJ and leave.”
“I don’t know, he didn’t seem the type of man to do that, but you know him better than I.” She tilted her head to the side. “Would it be so bad if he stayed so MJ could have a father?”
“I told him not to tell MJ who he is. I’m terrified my son will get hurt. That is… we’ll tell him, eventually. MJ has the right to know.” She drank more of the tea. “What are the people in town saying?”
“Most believe he is your long-lost husband. Then there are a few who think you’re a hussy, but you know I wouldn’t worry about it. Why don’t you take this time to get to know him again?” Robin smiled at her. “I need to get back. Is there anything else you need before I go?”
“Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and thank you for the tea. One way or the other, I’ll be fine. This farm belongs to me, not to my husband. I don’t care what a piece of paper says. I guess I’ll just wait and see how long it takes for him to leave.”
Robin took the cup from Brooke and set it on the side table. “Take it easy for a few days just in case. You got a lot going on in that head of yours. You take care now.”
Brooke watched as Robin left, and then her thoughts drifted to Murphy. Would he stay? She sighed. Probably not. If he could help her get the crops planted that would be wonderful. He could leave right after that. She gave a slight headshake. She’d be lucky if he stayed that long.
Her heart fluttered when she thought of MJ. There was an obvious bond between father and son. MJ deserved his attention; she just hoped it didn’t lead to heartache. She squeezed her eyes shut, so tired her brain felt jumbled. What if her father had lied? It felt like a betrayal to even think that way. He’d been so good to MJ, taking to him like he was his own son rather than his grandson. Her eyelids drifted downward.
The bouncing of her bed woke her. She felt groggy and seeing the light still hurt a bit, but it was better than before. She smiled at MJ. “What have you two been doing?”
MJ stopped bouncing and handed her a small bouquet of wildflowers. “This is from both of us. Me and Murphy. Murphy said women like flowers. Do you like them, Ma? Do you?”
She shifted her gaze, and Murphy smiled at her. It was an authentic smile. She had expected a mocking smile. She looked into her son’s eyes and cupped his face. “They are the finest flowers I have ever been given. Thank you so much for thinking of me.”
“Murphy said it’d be like bringing some sunshine indoors for you. Do you think that’s how it is?” MJ’s eyes grew wide waiting for her answer.
“It sure feels that way. Thank you both for your thoughtfulness.” She looked at Murphy. “Do you think you could handle supper for tonight? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Maybe you should cook some eggs since we have so many of those. Thank you for watching MJ.”
He gave her a lazy smile, the smile he knew she couldn’t resist. “I’d do anything for you.”
Brooke quickly looked away. “MJ, do you think you could show Murphy where everything is in the kitchen? It will be an enormous help.”
MJ jumped up and ran out of the room saying, “Yes, ma’am.”
“How are you feeling? Does your head still hurt?” He moved until he was right next to the bed. His nearness made her heart flutter.
“I feel better knowing MJ is enjoying his time with you. I still have a little headache, but I’m sure it will be better. If you need to leave, I could always have you go get Robin. She can stay here.” She met his gaze and realized he was staring.
“I don’t have plans to leave.” He shook his head. “However, I have to go to town eventually to let my family know I’ll be staying here for a while. I can’t wait until they learn about you and MJ.”
Her mouth opened, and then she frowned. “They don’t know you got married? You’re ashamed of me, aren’t you? You would’ve told them if you thought I was really dead. You didn’t tell them because you didn’t want to come back here and you didn’t want their judgment. I’d like to be left alone for a while.” She turned her head. She wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He was a low-down snake for sure.
She heard him leave, and that was a relief. She’d almost fallen for his story full of his lies. Somehow, he’d become her weakness, and she couldn’t have that. You needed to be strong and had to be smart to keep your land and survive
. There wasn’t room for him, not anymore.
She glanced down at the flowers she still grasped in her hand. It was sad to say, but they were the first flowers she’d ever received. Her heart tugged. They sure were beautiful. So she would just consider them from MJ and not from Murphy.
Chapter Seven
MJ had insisted Murphy sleep in his grandpa’s room. Brooke wished she could protest, but MJ was so excited. It had been a week now, and it hadn’t been as annoying as she’d thought it would be. Murphy was a hard worker, and he gave her a lot of time to herself. She had time for planting her garden, picking berries and canning. They ate meals together, though, and there was no denying MJ was thriving under Murphy’s attention.
Murphy watched her almost all the time. Every time she turned and caught him, he’d quickly look away. There was always plenty of wistfulness in his eyes. Every day she expected him to leave. Would he say goodbye or just sneak off? He’d been kind, kinder than she’d been, but she couldn’t forget he had lived on his ranch all this time. Why hadn’t he told his family about her if he thought her dead? That was what family was for, to help a person get through the hard times.
The wood Murphy ordered for his house had been delivered yesterday. He didn’t say a word about it to her. He’d shown MJ the plans. They talked about it plenty. Her heart hurt and the feeling of being left out was always there. It was as though he was making a statement that he didn’t care what she thought, he could do what he wanted.
Bread needed to be made, but going to her parents’ graves was more important. She wandered to the gigantic tree. She loved the smell of freshly turned soil. Closer to the graves, she smelled the sweet scent of flowers.
Her steps faltered and then she halted in her tracks. Flowers lay at both graves, and shoots pushed through the earth with a promise of planted flowers. There wasn’t even a weed to pull. She sat on the ground between the graves. Even though she was an adult with a child, there were times she felt the need for advice or a hug from her ma and pa.
“Pa, I just can’t allow myself to believe his story. I’ve had too many lonely years. And if Murphy thought me to be dead, why didn’t he remarry? The land is mine, and one way or the other I’m getting a signed deed.” She sighed. “MJ is wonderful. He works hard and is ever learning. And his daddy… Well, he is still a handsome devil, especially with that grin of his.” She dropped her chin down to her chest. Heat covered her face. “I just don’t know what to do. We could have been happy at one time but now… I don’t know if we’ll ever close the gap between us. He lied to me.”
Usually she felt better after visiting her folks, but not today. She stood next to their graves on the hill and surveyed the surrounding property. It was large enough to run a couple hundred head of cattle. Would that be possible? Would it be the best course of action? Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. How much land she had would depend on where Murphy built his house.
And speaking of handsome devils… She groaned. Murphy was striding her way. What lies did he have to tell today?
“MJ put those flowers on your parents’ graves,” he said before she could greet him. “He told me you planted bulbs on your Ma’s grave last fall. I didn’t expect to see anything growing for a few more weeks.”
“Did you tell him you thought my pa to be a liar?” she shot at him. “ What have you told him about where you’ve been? I’m confident you came up with an impressive story for him.”
She winced for a second at the hurt on his face.
“I most certainly did not tell him one thing about your pa,” Murphy said in a level voice. “It’s plain as day he loves his grandpa and that his grandpa loved him. As for me, the only ‘story’ I have is the true one. I was told and believed that you were dead. And I haven’t told him all about that one because I don’t know the complete story.” He kicked a rock. “You know, every day I work this farm hoping you will see that I intend to stay. I keep thinking, ‘today she’ll learn to trust me,’ but that never happens. I saw the look on your face when MJ and I were going over the house plans. You could have joined us, but you intentionally keep yourself apart.” He stalked a few feet away, but then turned and came back, sadness in his features. “I’m wondering what happened to that sweet joyful woman I married. I don’t mean that you’re a shrew, but you used to smile all the time. I’ve missed those smiles. I know my being here has been a big shock to you but think about how I felt at the lawyer’s office when I saw you. It was a shock seein’ the woman I thought was dead standin’ there. I mourned you, and now I’m mourning you again. I feel like I lost you twice. Honestly, I don’t know where to go from here. I intend to raise my son. Now, I’m not sure how you think this is all going to work. Will he sleep at my house and eat at yours?”
She gasped and stared at him for a minute. The sadness on his face had changed to anger. Well, she was angry too. Angry that he had left her, angry that when he came back, he came with a passel of lies. “Don’t you dare put this on me. I’ve been the one who has been here every single day of that child’s life. I’m the one who went without sleep worrying every time he had a sniffle. Pa would just tell me not to worry about it, but I am that boy’s mama, and mamas worry. I really didn’t have anyone to lean on and that hurt. How I wished and wished that you were here, but you were on your ranch instead.”
His face turned dark crimson. “Don’t you think it hurts me I’ve missed so much? Do you really believe I would turn my back on my own son? Did you really think my love was so shallow I’d walk away? Every time I look at you, I want to gather you up in my arms and kiss you senseless, but I don’t. I know my attentions wouldn’t be welcome. Do you really think your pa is the type of man who would allow your husband to just walk away? Because I think he was the kind of man who would have ridden out and brought me back here no matter what it took.”
Brooke opened her mouth to respond, but no words came. Was Murphy right? Her pa had always tried to give her everything she wanted from the time she was small. He’d even run off the Dewberry boy for taunting her about not knowing how to ride a horse when she was six and then spent the next week teaching her how to ride.
Murphy drew a deep breath, and when he spoke again, he seemed to have his fury in control. “I do thank you for the time you give me with MJ. You’ve done a wonderful job raising him. Somehow, we need to appear as though we like each other for MJ’s sake.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, and I’m not building a new house. I’m adding on to the one we have. I’m also replacing some wood that’s gone rotten. I would’ve told you all about it if you had just asked instead of giving me your perpetual frown. I’ve got work to do.” He turned and walked away without looking back.
Now she too knew what it felt like to lose the same person twice. She’d never dated before she’d married. She wasn’t schooled in the ways of men and women. She didn’t know how to act around her own husband. He was a hardheaded man and adding onto the house was not one of the options she had given him. But she’d try to get along and act happy for MJ’s sake.
Slowly, she ambled to the house, not feeling like doing much at all. She wanted to sit and contemplate some of the things Murphy had said to her. But there was always something that needed to be done on the farm. Right now, she needed to make bread.
* * *
Murphy pushed his hat, so it sat back farther on his head. He’d never understand women. Why she couldn’t accept the truth was beyond him. He was the one who’d been wronged. He was the one who had been lied to. He was the one who had been kept from his son. He was the one who’d missed her with everything he had. Why? Why had her father gone to such extremes to keep them apart? Did he think his daughter deserved better? They hadn’t always seen eye to eye, but he had never been left with the impression that her father hated him to that degree.
Every day, Brooke made it clear that she was suffering through Murphy’s presence for the sake of their son. Every day, no matter how he tried or what he did, she made it clear it
was not enough, never would be enough. And that she thought he was lying.
Could he live on this farm knowing that Brooke hated him? He wasn’t sure he could do that, but for MJ’s sake he had to try it. If it didn’t work, he would buy the land next to the farm and raise cattle. There was no way he would leave MJ. In his dreams, Brooke was always smiling at him with love in her eyes. So very different from how she looked at him now. At least she hadn’t put up a fuss about him enlarging the house. He planned to make a master bedroom and an office.
Watching MJ play with his cat Blue, Murphy smiled. How were the “little cats” doing? He’d have to remember to ask later. The frustration he felt about his relationship with Brooke was minor compared to the love he had for his son. Maybe someday he would have more children with Brooke. He almost laughed at his last thought. That probably would not happen.
“Murphy, how long do you think it takes for little cats to become big cats?” asked MJ, looking up. “Do you think I should get more big cats so they can make more little cats? What about naming them? You think I should name the little cats? I mean, there’s a lot of them. What did Mama say when you told her about my idea?”
Murphy looked down and smiled. “You know your ma’s been feeling a bit left out. We need to share our ideas with her. I think she would be better suited to answering your little cat, big cat questions.”
MJ closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth. “It’s all my fault. I’m supposed to take care of Ma. I didn’t know she was feeling left out. It’s not a good feeling, Murphy. I need to be more sensitive, but girls are hard to figure.”
Murphy laughed. “They certainly are hard to figure.”
* * *
That night Brooke tossed and turned. Finally, she slipped out of bed and went to the window. The moon was glowing. At her wedding, she had spoken vows before God. She was married to Murphy “until death do they part.” That could be a very long time. She had at one time wanted more children. But now… it did not seem likely that MJ would have any brothers or sisters.
Murphy: Cowboy Deceived: The Kavanagh Brothers Book 6 Page 5