by Cara Albany
"But I have been giving it all some thought," he continued.
Aliyah's eyes widened. "So have I. Maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves."
Shahid felt concern twist in his gut. Where was she taking this, he thought suddenly.
Aliyah continued. "It's all been very fast. Too quick. I'm not used to this kind of thing. Maybe you are," she said.
"What are you saying?" Shahid asked.
Aliyah sighed heavily. "I'm not sure." She paused and he could see the thought in her eyes, as if she was searching desperately for just the right words.
"You saw how I felt. In the garden. At the beach," he said, realizing how ludicrous it sounded when he said it like that.
"I did," she replied simply. "I just need a little time, Shahid."
Was that all she needed? Time away from him? Could he even contemplate that, after what had happened today. Everything that had passed between them merely confirmed his belief that he'd been right about Aliyah. And now she wanted some space, some more time? He wasn't even sure he was physically capable of granting such a request, not with the way he felt about her. This whole situation cried out for urgent action, not patience. That wasn't the way he did things, he told himself, feeling the anxiety rise within him.
Shahid took a deep breath and let himself settle for a few moments. He took hold of himself, realizing that he could easily make the biggest mistake of his life if he made demands, if he overreacted.
"Okay," he said eventually, trying to adjust to a whole new scenario; a woman pushing him away, telling him he was moving too fast. That had never happened before. But, then he'd never wanted a woman the way he wanted Aliyah.
Aliyah pushed the car door open and stepped out, making it obvious she didn't want Shahid to open the door for her. Maybe she was thinking about someone watching from inside the palace, he thought.
Aliyah bent down and smiled at Shahid. "I'll see you at the wedding, I suppose," she said.
Shahid felt his heart racing, knew he had to say something, but at the last moment he managed to restrain himself. The last thing he wanted was to create a scene in front of the palace doors.
"Aliyah," he said sharply.
Her brows rose and she smiled at him. His pulse rushed at the mere sight of that smile. "I'll see you before then," he said, realizing that he was insisting in defiance of what she had said.
She nodded and then closed the door. As he heard the soft thud of the door, Shahid felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.
He waited until she'd reached the top of the steps. He savored a few more moments of watching her, and then he fired up the engine and sped away as fast as he could.
Chapter Nine
The next morning Aliyah made sure she took breakfast later than everyone else in the palace, especially her parents. The last thing she wanted was to have to face any awkward questions. So, she slept late. Or, to be more accurate, Aliyah stayed in her room until later that morning, wide awake as she had been for a large portion of the night. Because sleep had been almost impossible, after what had happened with Shahid the day before.
After a late evening phone call, during which Aliyah had avoided talking about Shahid, Nadyah had agreed to come over to the Al Kharif palace this morning.
She was scheduled to arrive early but, before her friend arrived, no doubt intent on grilling Aliyah for as many details as possible, Aliyah had spent the time at the breakfast table doing what she had done all last night in bed.
Trying to understand the craziness of yesterday.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her head around yesterday's events. Had she really wound up telling Shahid that there was no point in them pursuing a relationship? In the cool light of the early morning sun, it certainly seemed that way. Was that what she'd intended to say?
Aliyah had tossed and turned all night, driven mad by two things. The memory of being with Shahid at the beach, how wonderful it had felt being in his arms.
And the warring emotions which had driven her to push him away.
For the moment, at least.
Because, after thinking about it for most of the long night, she'd come to one conclusion. Despite what she'd told herself yesterday, in spite of every cautious voice in her mind screaming to be careful, she knew Shahid had managed to find a way to get under her skin; get into her heart. She'd known that simple fact yesterday. And today, the more she thought about it, the more it seemed even clear to her.
When Nadyah finally arrived Aliyah resisted her friend's casual attempts at extracting information from Aliyah. Finally, after coffee, they had both agreed to take a walk through the seemingly endless warren of cool palace corridors.
They paced the long hallways arm in arm, just as they'd done as inseparable childhood friends. A part of Aliyah was grateful that Nadyah had come over, even if it meant she'd have to be on her guard. Wandering like this through the palace would be a good way to ensure they wouldn't be overheard by Aliyah's parents.
Life had changed a lot since Aliyah's three brothers had married. For one thing, the palace was a whole lot quieter. That was fine, Aliyah reflected, but there were times when she missed the bustle and noise that three alpha male brothers could create.
Now Aliyah had another problem. Her very own alpha male who seemed intent on wooing and winning her in spite of Aliyah's obvious reluctance, a reluctance Aliyah was still struggling to understand. It was almost as if there was a switch inside her which closed the door on Shahid every time he was close to her.
They made their way along a corridor at the rear of the palace which stretched the entire length of the palace. The doors to the various accommodations were all safely closed. Aliyah was sure they wouldn't be overheard. Their footsteps echoed down the hallway. It felt good to be with Nadyah, just taking the time to reflect on things.
Aliyah chatted with Nadyah, trying to avoid the subject of Shahid, even though she knew it wasn't going to be easy to avoid the subject.
Finally, just as Aliyah had expected, Nadyah made her first move. "You didn't tell me when you got home yesterday," Nadyah said grinning at Aliyah.
Aliyah squinted at her friend, prompting her to continue.
"Was there a detour on that road that I don't know about?" Nadyah added, narrowing her eyes which were bright and mischievous.
Aliyah shrugged. "I told you last night on the phone, Nadyah. Nothing happened."
Nadyah's eyes narrowed, and Aliyah felt as if she was suddenly being cross-examined. "Hah! I knew it," Nadyah exclaimed and laughed. Her voice echoed down the long, white marble corridor.
Aliyah paused and glared at Nadyah. "What do you know?"
"Shahid," Nadyah replied.
"And?" Aliyah prompted.
"I'm not surprised he found a way to spend some time with you."
"You make it sound like he forced me to do something," Aliyah said.
Nadyah shook her head. "I don't think Shahid has to force you to do anything, Aliyah. It seems to me you've already made up your mind."
Aliyah's mouth dropped open in pretend shock. "And what exactly have I made my mind up about?" Aliyah asked.
Nadyah quirked a knowing brow at Aliyah. "Do I have to spell it out?"
Aliyah groaned, the sound of her frustration carrying all the way down the corridor.
"That's just how Shahid works," Nadyah replied.
"Works?" Aliyah asked, lowering her voice and looking at Nadyah with puzzlement.
Nadyah dug an elbow into Aliyah's side. "You know what I mean," she said.
Aliyah shook her head. "I don't think I do," she replied. Aliyah glanced around and then at Nadyah. "Keep your voice down," she said.
"What? Worried someone will find out?" Nadyah asked.
"Find out what?"
Nadyah rolled her eyes. "It was pretty obvious yesterday, Aliyah. Despite the act you two tried to put on."
"We didn't put on any act. We've been friends for years. And we still are."
Nadyah's eyes widene
d.
"Just friends," Aliyah said emphatically, leaning right up into Nadyah's face.
They walked on a bit further. Finally, Nadyah said: "Anyway, Shahid called me last night."
"He did?" Aliyah asked trying to mask her burning curiosity to know what Shahid had said.
Nadyah nodded her head and paused. Aliyah frowned, wondering if her best friend was trying to torment her. She concluded that Nadyah probably was determined to drive Aliyah crazy. After all, she'd been doing just that ever since they'd been childhood friends. Aliyah knew that once Nadyah got on the case, there was virtually no way to stop her.
"What did he say?" Aliyah asked, at last, seeing a smile of satisfaction on Nadyah's face.
"I didn't think you'd want to know," Nadyah teased. "Especially since there's nothing between you and Shahid. Or so you'd have us all believe."
"What did he say?" Aliyah said again, this time more insistently.
"Just that he enjoyed the drive home with you. He said you both had a nice time. That you took a detour along the coastal road." Nadyah shrugged. "He wouldn't elaborate when I asked if he stopped at the beach. I know how much you love the beach, Aliyah. Seems like it would have been too tempting to refuse that. Especially with Shahid in tow."
"In tow?" Aliyah retorted, feeling scandalized. "Who said I had Shahid in tow?"
"Or maybe I misheard." Nadyah rolled her eyes. Maybe he actually said you kept him on his toes," Nadyah replied. "I'm not sure," she added smiling.
"No-one leads Shahid around," Aliyah replied. "Especially not a woman."
"You might be right about that," Nadyah agreed, a tone of reluctance in her voice.
"Although, maybe he's not quite as arrogant as he used to be," Aliyah admitted.
Nadyah smiled. "So you've noticed," she said.
Aliyah furrowed her brows inquiringly at Nadyah.
"Shahid's a changed man," Nadyah continued. "I know my brother pretty well, and I can safely say he's not the same old Shahid," Nadyah said shaking her head. "Not by a long shot. Haven't you noticed the change in him, Aliyah?"
She shook her head, determined not to take the bait Nadyah was offering.
"He's just the same as usual, as far as I can see," Aliyah said.
"Haven't you seen the starry look in his eye?" Nadyah said with a grin. "He didn't like it when I pointed it out to him on the phone last night. In fact, he got a bit annoyed. Claimed he was in a hurry. That he didn't have time to talk because he was going out. He didn't say where."
In spite of herself, Aliyah couldn't contain her surprise at that revelation. Shahid had gone out last night? That flew in the face of what he'd said to her yesterday. The sweet words he'd murmured to her now seemed hollow, even a little insincere. What Nadyah had just told Aliyah contradicted every impression he'd given her the day before, every look, every touch.
"Did he say where he was going?" Aliyah asked, not sure if she wanted to really know the answer.
Nadyah shook her head. "He's always secretive about his social life. He's got so many friends. Never a dull moment," she said.
"But, I thought he said..." Aliyah started to say, but then stopped herself.
"What?" Nadyah asked squeezing Aliyah's arm.
"Nothing," Aliyah said quickly. "Forget that."
Nadyah looked curious. Then she continued. "Anyway, he wouldn't talk to me." Nadyah sighed easily. "I tried every trick I know, but he just wouldn't spill the beans."
"Nadyah!" Aliyah exclaimed.
"What?" Nadyah retorted.
"You make it all sound so...common," Aliyah gasped.
"I'm sorry, Aliyah. I'm just excited at the prospect of my best friend being the one to tie down my playboy brother," Nadyah exclaimed.
Aliyah halted and gazed disbelievingly at Nadyah. "How can you say such a thing?"
Nadyah reached out and laid a hand on Aliyah's arm. "Because it's true, isn't it?" Nadyah said smiling.
Aliyah wrenched her gaze away from Nadyah's piercing scrutiny. Aliyah drew in a deep breath, trying to contain the emotion swirling through her. When she turned back to Nadyah she saw that her friend's eyes were still fixed upon her.
"There's no hiding anything from you, is there?" Aliyah asked.
Nadyah shook her head and smiled. "What gave you the idea that you could even try? You and I have known each other for too long to have secrets, Aliyah. Especially one like this," Nadyah said.
Aliyah shook her head. "Seems like we've done a pretty bad job of keeping it a secret."
"It doesn't matter what other people think. All that matters is how you feel about Shahid," Nadyah said.
"But, we didn't want to distract anyone's attention from the wedding," Aliyah explained.
Nadyah sighed, shaking her head. "Typical Aliyah," she replied.
Aliyah squinted at Nadyah. "What do you mean?"
"Always thinking about others, even if it means losing out yourself."
Was she going to lose Shahid? That was the question which flashed urgently into her mind. She pushed the answer firmly away.
"You are your own worst enemy, Aliyah. You know that, don't you?" Nadyah said.
"I am not," Aliyah replied harshly.
Nadyah grinned. "I know you better than most people. Maybe its time to start claiming things for yourself, instead of thinking about others all the time."
"You make it sound so clinical. So mercenary," Aliyah said.
Nadyah shook her head. "You deserve the best, Aliyah." Nadyah rolled her eyes. "And, even though it pains me to say, I think my brother is pretty awesome," she said with a wide grin.
Aliyah forced herself not to respond to that statement, even if she knew it was true. Shahid was the most amazing man she'd ever known. He'd always seemed so untouchable. Until now.
Aliyah tried to change the subject. "But, you told me what he said to you last night. Maybe he hasn't changed, after all."
Nadyah shook her head. "There's only one way to find out. And I think you know what that is."
Aliyah nodded slowly, furrowing her brows.
They spent a while walking, and the conversation drifted to details of the wedding and the kinds of things which still needed doing.
Then Nadyah left, giving Aliyah one last reassuring hug and a look that said that if Aliyah didn't follow through on their talk about Shahid, there might just be some serous consequences.
Once her friend was gone, Aliyah tried to figure out her reaction to what Nadyah had just told her. Could it be true? Had she completely misjudged Shahid's intentions? Had that entire episode at the beach simply been a meaningless, trivial flirtation on Shahid's part?
Aliyah felt a sinking sensation in her middle at the thought that she'd been naive, that she'd made a fool of herself. Could it be that everything he'd said to her in the garden had been a lie? Maybe she'd been a fool. Perhaps everything he'd made her feel at the beach had been based on a complete misunderstanding on her part. How could she have been so stupid?
Now she understood why he'd just brought her home and dismissed her as if she was just another failed conquest. Maybe that was all she was as far as he was concerned. That thought seemed so unlikely, and yet it still hurt her, still caused something to tighten inside her.
Aliyah made her way back to her room. As she closed the door behind her, she felt indignation twist in her middle. She leaned back against the door and gazed up at the slowly revolving ceiling fan. She felt her jaw tighten and she drew in a sharp, deep breath, desperately trying to calm herself.
How dare Shahid play her for a fool, just like he'd done so many times when they'd been younger. Back then, Aliyah had known it was just fun, simply a childish teasing, nothing malicious.
Just friends. Maybe that was all they were now. Friends. Not potential lovers.
Memories of the past drifted into her mind. Back then things had been so different. Then, there hadn't been the promise of connection, the temptation of a deeper, more serious relationship. Back then, she had been diffe
rent. Shahid had been different. Things had been so much simpler. Maybe that was what she had to do now. Re-establish the rules that had kept them being friends.
But there was a difference now.
Aliyah had convinced herself of something that now seemed naive. She'd told herself that she and Shahid were changed people, that they were both grown-up, mature.
Different. And, because of that, the feelings she felt for Shahid were somehow real. Authentic.
How could she have been so stupid?
She had fooled herself into buying into the lie.
Yet again, a surge of irritation coursed through her.
Had he lied to her? Even worse. Had Aliyah lied to herself?
She refused to believe that, rejected all notions that she could have opened herself up to him only for him to crush her heart.
Because, right now, that was what she was feeling. Crushed. Utterly and completely let down.
She tried to calm her emotions because she needed to decide what to do about this; what she could do about this.
She had a decision to make and the prospect of what could happen if she made that decision triggered an anxiety that took her by surprise. But, she forced herself to think, pushed herself to face the truth, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how bad it made her feel.
It came down to one simple choice.
Either she could let Shahid continue to play with her emotions, let him toy with her just as he did with so many other women. That way promised pleasures. She knew that, felt the temptations claw at her, teasing her with barely resisted fantasies. But, she wasn't about to become just another one of Shahid's casual conquests.
The other option was just as clear in her mind. She could face him down, call him out, demand answers, wrench the truth from him, once and for all.
And then what?
Either way, it meant she would get the truth. And, once she had that, she knew she could move on, even if it meant there was a possibility that in doing so she might have to be without Shahid.
And, at that moment, as she stood there, fists clenched, determination burning in her like never before, Aliyah knew that, just as so many times in the past whenever Shahid had tried to play with her emotions, there was only one thing she could do.