A look of wonder filled her eyes. “You prayed about it?”
He nodded and smiled. “You and Emma have been wearing off on me.”
“That’s wonderful, Alex. I’m so happy to hear it.”
“I never stopped believing, Annie. I’ve just had some tough things happen that made me question my faith.”
“You mean losing your parents and brother?”
Her insight caught him by surprise, and for a moment he couldn’t speak. He swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. I’m still working through that, but watching how you interact with Emma and live out your faith each day is helping me.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes. She slipped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “Thanks for sharing that, Alex. That means so much.”
“I guess I should’ve mentioned it sooner and thanked you.”
She kissed his cheek, her eyes glowing. “It takes a strong man to admit he needs the Lord’s help and guidance.”
He cocked his head and grinned. “So you think I’m a strong man?”
She laughed softly. “Definitely.”
Chapter Fourteen
Annie plucked a few needles from a Douglas fir as they walked past and lifted them to her nose. The fresh, evergreen scent smelled just like Christmas and put a smile on her face.
This was the first time she’d come to a tree farm to cut a live Christmas tree, and sharing the adventure with Alex and Emma made it even more special.
“How about this one?” Alex lifted his hand to shade his eyes against the late-afternoon sun, then walked around to inspect a giant blue spruce from the other side.
He looked like a handsome lumberjack in his brown jacket, with a knit hat pulled low and a plaid scarf tied around his neck. His leather hiking boots and the trusty handsaw he carried completed the woodsman picture.
Emma tugged on her hand. “Mom, Alex is talking to you.”
“Oh. Right.” Squinting, she tried to picture the tall spruce in Irene’s living room. “That one’s very pretty, but don’t you think it might be a little too tall?”
Alex rubbed his chin and turned to Emma. “What do you think, Em? Is it too big?”
Her daughter’s dark eyes sparkled, and she shook her head. “I like it.”
Alex grinned at Annie. “Your call, sweetheart.”
Her stomach fluttered like a swirl of dancing snowflakes. No one had ever called her sweetheart, not even her father. “I love the frosty blue-gray color.”
“So you like it better than the Douglas fir?”
She looked over her shoulder at the shorter tree they’d tagged as their first choice. “I suppose we could cut off some of the bottom at home if it’s too tall.”
“Good idea. Gram likes to use evergreen branches to decorate around the house.” He lifted the saw and pointed at the tree. “So this is the one?”
Annie checked with Emma, and her daughter gave her a thumbs-up. “That’s our tree.”
Emma danced around them, her nose and cheeks glowing bright pink.
Alex knelt next to the spruce, while Annie and Emma held the branches up out of his way. In just a few minutes he sawed through the trunk. “Hold tight.”
“Timber!” Emma called as the tree broke loose and fell into their waiting arms.
Laughing and teasing each other about how heavy it was, they carried it back to the barn, where the attendant slipped mesh netting over the limbs and helped Alex tie it to the roof of the car.
As they drove back to Fairhaven, they munched on apple-cinnamon doughnuts, sipped hot cocoa and listened to Christmas songs on the radio.
“Oh, look at the lights!” Emma called from the backseat.
Annie laid her hand on Alex’s arm. “Let’s slow down so she can see.”
Alex nodded, then pulled over and parked in front of the Fairhaven Village Green. Lights had been strung over the covered walkway that surrounded the Green on three sides, giving it a twinkling fairyland appearance.
At the far end of the Green, a crowd had gathered in front of the stage where a group of carolers stood next to a cluster of Christmas trees. Hundreds of tiny white lights sparkled in their branches.
Alex rolled down the windows, and the sweet strains of “Away in a Manger” filled the air.
“I know that song,” Emma said and joined in.
Annie’s heart swelled as she listened to her daughter sing along. Alex reached for Annie’s hand, his gaze warm and tender.
When the song ended, the muted clapping of the crowd drifted back toward them across the Green.
His cell phone rang, and regret filled his eyes. “It could be Gram. We’ve been gone awhile.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and frowned at the screen. “It’s my boss. I better take this.”
“Sure,” Annie said.
“Hey, Steve. How are you?” Alex’s brows dipped as he listened. Then he huffed out a breath. “Are you serious? But what about our contracts?” He glanced at Annie, then looked away and rubbed his forehead. “I can’t believe this.”
Annie’s stomach tensed. The carolers started a new song. Alex pushed the button and raised the windows, blocking out the music.
“I heard the rumors, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon.” He shifted in his seat, turning away from Annie.
It looked as if Alex wanted some privacy to finish the conversation. “Come on, Emma. Let’s go see the lights.”
Alex covered the mouthpiece. “You don’t have to go.”
“We’ll be right out here.” She unbuckled her seat belt, and she and Emma climbed out of the car.
Annie slipped her hand into Emma’s and walked across the grass toward the stage. They listened to another carol, but Annie barely heard the words as Alex’s phone conversation replayed through her mind. He was obviously upset about something at work, but what did it mean?
As the next song started, Alex joined them at the back of the crowd.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
He shook his head, his expression somber. “My company was bought out. They’re making the merger announcement on Monday.”
Her stomach dropped. “Oh, Alex, what does that mean for you?”
“I’m not sure. My boss is calling everyone in for an emergency meeting tomorrow at noon. I need to head home now and make arrangements.”
“You’re leaving?” A dizzy wave of panic flooded her mind.
“I have to fly out tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.”
“But I thought we’d at least have the rest of the weekend.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Her throat burned, and tears filled her eyes.
“I didn’t want to end our time together like this.” He pulled her in for a hug, but she remained stiff and unyielding.
See, he’s leaving you just like he did before. Just like Kevin and your father did. No matter what they say, this is the way it always ends.
“Annie, please try to understand.”
She pulled away from him. “Oh, I understand. What you have in San Francisco is more important to you than what you have here. It makes sense. Don’t worry about it.” She took Emma’s hand and strode toward the car.
“Annie!” He hustled after her. “Listen to me.”
“I don’t want to hear any more. Let’s just go.” With a trembling hand she opened the back door for Emma. Her daughter climbed in and looked up at her with wide eyes. Annie helped her with her seat belt.
“Come on, Annie. Don’t be mad. That’s not fair.”
She slammed the door, hoping to keep at least part of the conversation from Emma’s ears. “Not fair? I’ll tell you what’s not fair. You kiss me and tell me how much you care, and then a day later you’re ready to take off for who knows how long, with
no promise of when you’ll be coming back. Tell me about unfair.”
“Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t plan this. But if I don’t go now, I’ll lose my job for sure. Then what kind of future can I offer you?”
She stared at him for a second as those words sank in. “You’re thinking about a future for us?”
“Of course I am.” He took her hand, sincerity shining in his eyes. “I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but I want us to be together.”
Everything in her wanted to believe what he said was true. But could she trust him?
“If they cut my job, I’m coming back to Fairhaven.”
“Really?” Her hopes soared. She didn’t want him to lose his job, but if it happened, maybe that would be for the best.
But what if his job situation didn’t change? What would they do then? Her stomach tensed as that painful possibility rose in her mind. She quickly pushed it away. Why worry about that now? She’d deal with it later if she had to.
“We’ll work it out somehow. I promise.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her.
This time she hugged him tight. The plush warmth of his jacket brushed her cheek, and underneath she heard the strong and steady beat of his heart.
* * *
Alex trudged through the door of his San Francisco apartment Sunday evening, carrying his computer case and a sack of mail his downstairs neighbor had collected for him while he’d been away. He reached to turn on the lights, and pain shot through his stiff neck and left shoulder. He groaned, tossed the mail onto the kitchen counter and tried to massage away the tightness at the base of his neck.
These past two days had been an agonizing marathon.
Saying goodbye to Annie on Friday night had been more difficult than he’d imagined. Before dawn on Saturday, he caught the train to Seattle, then took the first flight out to San Francisco. Even though he raced from the airport to the office, he’d been twenty minutes late for the noon meeting. His boss had not been happy. But it couldn’t be helped.
The merger strategy talks had run until after ten last night and eight tonight, with discussions that pushed him past the edge of frustration. Jobs were being cut with little thought to how the people involved would survive.
He opened the refrigerator and glanced inside. No food had magically appeared since he’d checked this morning. All he had was a wrinkled apple, a small container of blueberry yogurt and a half-empty carton of orange juice that was probably sour by now.
Great. What was he supposed to eat for dinner?
He should’ve stopped and picked up something on the way home, but he was so exhausted he hadn’t even thought about dinner until he walked in the door.
Memories of the delicious meals Annie prepared three times a day flashed through his mind, and he groaned again. Why hadn’t he realized how depressing it was cooking for one and living alone in this cold, impersonal apartment?
Grabbing his cell phone, he punched in Annie’s number. While he waited for the call to go through, he took a box of cereal from the cabinet and poured some into a bowl.
Annie picked up after the third ring.
He looked into the fridge for milk, then remembered he didn’t have any. He shook his head, grabbed the yogurt and dumped it over his cereal.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m surviving, but it’s been a battle.” He gave her a rundown of the plans they’d made to deal with the merger. “How about you?” He took a bite of cereal and yogurt and grimaced. It tasted like mushy cardboard with a little sugar on top.
“We’re okay. Emma’s tooth came out.”
A smile tugged at one side of his mouth. “Wish I could see that.”
“Maybe we can take a picture and email it to you.”
That didn’t ease the ache in his chest, but he didn’t want to sound ungrateful. “Thanks.”
“I’m planning to put a dollar under her pillow tonight.” He heard the smile in her voice.
“She’ll like that,” he said, fighting off a wave of melancholy.
“She’s pretty excited. As soon as her tooth came out, she washed it off, wrapped it in a tissue and stuck it under her pillow.”
“Good for her.”
“And when she prayed at dinner, she asked God to hurry and send her a new tooth so she wouldn’t have to miss too many meals.”
He grinned, and the ache in his chest faded a little. “I hope you told her she could still eat.”
“Of course, but she had a hard time hearing me because Irene was laughing so hard, tears were rolling down her cheeks.”
Alex shook his head, wishing he’d been there to share that meal and see it all firsthand.
“Jason stopped by tonight. Irene signed the contract. He had another job cancel, so he’ll put all his efforts into the bakery.”
“I wonder why he lost that other job.”
“I don’t know, but that means ours should be finished sooner. We might be able to reopen by mid-January.”
Alex forced himself to swallow one more bite of soggy cereal, then pushed the bowl away. “Did Gram get him to change that clause on the last page?”
“Yes. He said it wasn’t a problem.”
“Good.” Alex set the bowl in the sink and ran water over it, washing the mushy mess down the drain. “I’ll give Jason a call. I want to be sure he knows I’m still involved in the project even though I’m not in town.”
“That’s a good idea. It should help keep him accountable.”
“Right.”
“So what about your job, Alex? Do you have any clear sense about what’s going to happen?”
He crossed the living room and sank onto one end of the couch. “My boss is going to push to keep me on, but there’s no way of knowing for sure until later this week.”
She released a soft sigh.
He closed his eyes, missing Annie more than he thought possible. Everything in him longed to hold her and reassure her it would all work out. But how could he do that when he had no idea what was going to happen?
“If it was just my job, it wouldn’t be so bad, but we’re trying to figure out a way to save jobs for seventy-three people. A lot of them are married, and they have kids. They need their health insurance.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’m so tired of dealing with all this corporate wrangling.”
“I’m sorry, Alex.” Compassion filled her voice.
“Honestly, Annie, if they let me go, it would almost be a relief.” He glanced around his apartment and shook his head. Why had he been in such a hurry to get back to San Francisco? The life he had here was not nearly as meaningful as what he could have in Fairhaven with Annie.
“I’m praying for you, Alex. I know this is hard.”
His eyes burned. He closed them and laid his head back on the couch cushions.
“Selfishly, I want you to come back here and run the bakery with me, but I’m trusting God to work out what’s best for you and for us.”
His throat tightened, and he had to force out his words. “Thanks, Annie. I’m praying, too.”
“Then we’ll be okay,” she said softly.
“Yeah, I’m sure we will,” He willed confidence into his voice for Annie’s sake. He didn’t want her to worry, but he still couldn’t see a clear path for the future. Only one thing was sure: no matter what happened with his job, he had to figure out a way for them to be together. Because being apart from Annie didn’t make sense anymore.
Chapter Fifteen
Annie scooted the last box of Christmas decorations toward the opening in the attic floor. She’d already carried five other totes and boxes down for Irene. But as they worked on decorating the house, Irene had realized the olive-wood nativity she’d purchased in Israel almost forty years ago was st
ill in the attic, so she’d sent Annie back to search for one last box.
The beam of Annie’s flashlight illuminated a box sitting nearby. Alex’s name was written on the side. Memories of the last time she’d been in the attic with Alex tugged at her heart.
She knelt and opened the box. Alex’s Bible lay on top of the pile of clothes. She ran her hand over the soft brown leather and lifted it from the box. Closing her eyes, she held it close to her heart.
Her nightly phone conversations with Alex rose in her mind. The merger had been announced three days ago, and his job was still hanging in the balance. He needed the wisdom recorded in these pages now more than ever. But the good news was that his heart had slowly been opening to the Lord.
Maybe she should mail him the Bible so he’d have it there in San Francisco. Or perhaps she’d put it on the nightstand in his room with the hope that he’d come back soon.
A bittersweet pang shot through her heart. Would he come home for Christmas? Would he be here to bake cookies with them, fill Emma’s stocking and attend the Christmas Eve service? He was already missing decorating the house, though the Christmas tree they’d cut down last Friday still sat out back, resting against the house with its stump in a bucket of water. She couldn’t quite convince herself to bring the spruce in and decorate it without Alex.
She placed Alex’s Bible on top of the box, then carefully carried them down the ladder. After closing the attic, she walked down the hall and stopped in front of the open door to Alex’s room.
His bed was neatly made, but his running shoes and extra computer cord sat on the bench by the closet, along with a stack of clean clothes she’d lovingly washed, folded and placed there for him, waiting for his return.
Her heart clenched. He’d been gone only six days, and already she missed him so much she could hardly breathe when she thought of him being so far away.
When would she see him again? New Year’s? Valentine’s Day? Would this time apart cool his affection for her? How long until his nightly phone calls became weekly updates, then stopped altogether?
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