by A. L. Davroe
The impending due-date of Redux 2.0 forced me into myopic hyper-focus, but the more I pushed the more the muse resisted.
A close friend of the family, Irena, took one look at me and told me I should go for hypnosis. She gave me a reference. I like to think I straddle the logical and whimsical in equal parts, so I kept my mind open about it and I went—half skeptical but sort of desperate for help at the same time.
…It actually helped. It may sound woo-woo to you, and it could have just been a placebo, but it lead me toward an opening in my soul that allowed me to channel my muse in a way I haven’t been able to do since I initially wrote Nexis a few years ago.
With less than three weeks until the second re-write was due, the dam suddenly broke and Redux 2.0 flowed forth with the same ease and intensity as Nexis.
The need to redirect and strengthen Ella’s character allowed me a form of control. Ella was constantly being knocked down and put in bad situations, but I had to make her persevere. I had to keep her from getting drawn down by the darkness. She couldn’t just get up and walk away. She had to do the same things I did. A dozen problems were clamoring for her attention, but she prioritized, took control, divided, and conquered.
Through Ella, I was able to control and change in a way that I could not in my real life. She became my avatar—much like her own character did for her in Nexis. Ella did for me as a writer what many books allow for readers—a chance for escape, a chance to be someone else, a chance to find hope through a similar situation that has been removed just far enough to give you insight.
As I continued to toil away in my corner at Panera, my friends and family supported me on all sides. I took strength from that as I didn’t want to make the sacrifice of time spent away from them go to waste.
In their avid desire for more, my fans gave me hope and kept me focused. I didn’t want to disappoint them any more than I wanted to disappoint myself. Nexis may not have been a best seller, but there are some readers out there who esteem it as their favorite book and they, with their guaranteed sales, are the ones I have to please most—not the potentials.
My own near-comical love-life gave me fuel as well. This year has been a thing of intense highs and lows and tragic swings for me. People claim that love triangles don’t happen in real life. Well, they do folks. I’ve been on all sides and angles of that. So I am writing what I know in that respect. XD
I cried when I finished Redux 2.0. It was the first thing that felt right in a very long time.
Robin made me cry again when I read her email about how much she loved it. It wasn’t perfect, obviously—nothing ever is, but it was where it needed to be and I had hope.
They say writing is a lonely affair. But, no writer is an island. We have baristas who keep our teacups filled. We collect friends and family who love and accept us despite our lapses into artistic introversion. We’re cursed with loves that consume, desolate, and fertilize like fire. We encounter sagely women who introduce us to spiritual guides. We’re blessed with editors who understand us and with their kind, uplifting words, unknowingly talk us down from career suicide. We accumulate fans who poke and encourage us even when all we want to do is curl up and forget the world exists. And, of course, even when we’re knee deep in other worlds, our muses provide us with characters who act as mirrors, allowing us to see into the very depths of what it is to be human and provide us with paths to follow out of the darkness.
I’m so very happy you’re all my neighbors on this continent called creativity. I cherish and thank you all.
About the Author
A.L. Davroe grew up in Connecticut and, after traveling to many countries, many states, and many fantasy realms—sometimes even living in them—she has decided that Connecticut is a wonderful little state. She likes books, cats, chai tea lattes, and the word “chime.” By day, A.L. makes cheese for a local artisan dairy and, by night night, A.L. writes in various subgenres of adult and YA fantasy, science fiction, horror, and romance, but most of her work tends to have a revisionist twist to it.
www.aldavroe.com
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