“He cannae abide you.”
Kevin told him that.
It was best if Kevin came by himself, and then Stevie could climb up after him and sit by the chimney. The sight of the drop didn’t bother him so much by then; he forgot to think about falling, the smack of his skull bursting on the pavement. Stevie didn’t know if he’d come up here alone, but with Kevin at the next chimney along, sleeping off his smoke, it was all right, good and quiet. Stevie sat out the dry and clear days, fingers tucked inside his sweatshirt cuffs, hood strings pulled tight against the wind. Windy days made him want to stand, arms up and out, and he tried it sometimes, but mostly it was enough just to sit there, squinting in the sun; higher than everything about him.
The scheme was a mass of tenements, falling off down the hill beyond the gutter rim, all grey and brown, walls and roads, rust-red pipes and railings. There were torn clouds in the sky above, and planes; the concrete water tower behind him, and away in the distance the Clyde. Stevie saw the street down below, half in shadow, and the long roof he was on, sun-bright and stretching on and on.
Work had stopped on the new builds for a while, but come spring a new site was started just the other side of the industrial units, and Stevie kept watch on it from his perch: the yellow-brick semis springing up, with garages at the side, and black tarmac driveways out the front.
Kevin told him they were Executive Homes, and he said it like they made a bad smell. He said there were plans to build on the scheme as well:
“Soon as they get these ruins torn down.”
Kevin kicked at the slates, like he couldn’t wait, but Stevie didn’t want the empty closes wrecked.
The new houses were just ground and first. They had walls and roofs, and floors inside, but no windows yet, just rendered holes; the top ones were left uncovered, and Kevin said they’d be perfect to get in and out. There were days when the site was swarming with builders, and others when there was no one around, so they chose a quiet afternoon, and all four of them went to climb.
Kevin went up ahead with Stevie, and Cammy and Paul stood watch. The wire site fence had a hole in already, so they got to the first house easy enough. They went up the wall, and looked through all the rooms; Kevin first, with Stevie at his heels; and then they dropped down the far side, running on to the next. Inside the second house, Kevin had to crouch to get his breath, so Stevie climbed out and down the pipe before him. There were no gardens yet or fences, just a few metres of mud, and he wanted to get to the third house before Paul and Cammy caught up.
The plaster in that one was still wet, and Stevie smelled it, even before he got inside: it was just like his Dad’s van and work clothes. Kevin climbed through the window and passed him, but Stevie stayed in the master bedroom, all damp and smooth. He dug his thumbnail into the corner, and found it was still soft. So then he walked, scoring a line, deep and thin and just at eye-height, all along one wall.
“Stevie!”
Kevin was in the ensuite. He’d found a crate full of plumbers’ stuff, and he called Stevie in to show him the bath taps: all brassy, and still in their box.
“It was the same in the last house.”
Stevie saw he was smiling, full of a plan, tearing open the cardboard.
“Here.” He handed the cold one to Stevie. “You’ll be quicker, aye?” He told him he had to be speedy, “Else Cammy’s gonnae catch us up.”
So Stevie did as Kevin told him.
He swung out the window and down the pipe, fast as he could. And then he took one tap from each house into the next, pairing cold with cold, and hot with hot, all around the cul-de-sac. Twelve houses, Stevie made the full circle, all inside twenty minutes. All to make Kevin laugh about the flummoxed plumbers, and the sheer brass neck.
Only Kevin wasn’t in the fourth house when he got back.
Stevie stood in the empty rooms, with his fingers raw from climbing. He stuffed them in his pockets, thinking how it was getting dark now, and he should be at his Gran’s; he should have kept a better eye on the time.
But then he heard laughing, from just across the site; it sounded like Kevin, so Stevie jogged across the gloomy rubble to the last house in the row. He hadn’t seen Paul for ages, maybe he was in there too. But it was just Cammy in the last house with Kevin, at the bottom of the stair.
He had a box in his hand, and more collected by his feet, and he was shouting at Kevin that he should have taken the taps, not pulled a stunt.
“What’s the fuckin point ae that? We could ae got oursels some fuckin cash.”
He turned, sharp, when Stevie came inside, and Cammy asked him:
“Am I right?”
Stevie stopped where he was: he didn’t like the way Cammy stared. And then Cammy pointed:
“Look at him. Never says fuckin nothin. Boy’s a choob. Just like his Da.”
He made a face, like Stevie’s Dad was vacant. Cammy started drumming the air, lifting his knees in time, and then he looked at Stevie:
“Can see how your Maw couldnae take it.”
He said it smiling, his eyes cruel because he knew he’d got him, and it made Stevie’s guts shrink, the way Cammy knew so much about his family. Cammy said:
“She’s fucked off, aye? She’s fucked off back tae Ireland. Good luck tae her.”
He was laughing. So Stevie shouted:
“Fuck dae you know about it?”
He yelled it, loud. But Cammy just laughed at him, even harder. He said:
“You ever wonder how she didnae take you?”
So Stevie flew at him, he had to.
Fuckin bastard.
He aimed a kick, aiming for Cammy’s guts, but his toes hit the bottom of the box and sent it flying up, out of Cammy’s hands; metal fittings went raining all over the concrete.
Stevie ducked them, arms up, and then he was running, thinking Cammy was after him; he was sure he could hear him, close behind him across the rubble.
He made straight for one of the new builds: sharp inside, to hide. It was dark in the half-built house, but he found the stairs and then he was climbing. Stevie knew Cammy wouldn’t climb, so he was just thinking to get to the roof. There was tarpaulin over the skylights, but only loosely pegged, and he was out fast, and scrambling up to the ridge. Stevie didn’t stop, not until he got to the top, and then he crouched there, all ears.
No one there. Stevie heard nothing; no footsteps, no one following. But his head was still full of Cammy’s laughing, all of what Cammy just said, about his Mum and his Dad. So he stood up, careful, to get a checking look about himself.
The new builds were smaller than the empty tenements, but they were set higher, into the hillside, and Stevie could see over the scheme roofs and beyond. To the wide reach of the city, all lit up. It took him out of himself; it took Stevie a moment to adjust.
He saw the high flats, their red lights on top, and then he knew which way was east, which west. Stevie started to work it out, how to get away: which way was his Gran’s house? But his Gran’s place seemed miles, and it was too full of arguments, so maybe he should go to Eric’s, because that’s what his Mum always did. Only then Stevie was back to thinking about her again. What Cammy just said, about her being gone.
He was thinking why she left him. How she let him go to school, and then she took off. Stevie was thinking why she did that, when she could have taken him too.
The city lights were far, and all gone smeary, and he stayed where he was. With the scheme in front: long and black, all the abandoned blocks, no lights on in any of the windows.
Stevie stuck to climbing inside the scheme after that. Kevin still called for him some days, on his own, but then summer came, and marching season, and that was it.
Stevie saw him one time: Kevin was headed across a back court when he was on a rooftop. Stevie stood up, legs straight, arm raised, and gave Kevin the finger. Even if Kevin never saw it, he thought that didn’t matter. Stevie knew the places he liked now, the best places for hiding out; he found his ow
n stretch of roof, kept his own stash of cans and crisps in the eaves.
He slipped once, trying a second-floor window catch. Stevie caught himself, so he didn’t fall, but he wrenched his knee, and he ripped his sweatshirt on the jagged pane too. He didn’t see that he’d cut his arm, not until the blood leaked down his fingers. Stevie had to wipe them to grip, only more kept coming the whole climb down. And then there was the pain. It made it hard to catch his breath, standing in the back court, even when he pressed down hard across the tear with his good hand. Stevie knew his Gran would be in the house that morning, so he held his arm into his chest, limping down the road to his Dad’s. He’d be at work by now, and Stevie still had the key to let himself in.
But then his Dad was there, off sick. He was in his pyjamas. He got up off the sofa, and stared wordless at Stevie in the doorway. At his torn sleeve and smeary palms.
Stevie stuffed his top into the washing machine later, when he got back to his Gran’s house. She washed it without passing comment, but the next time he got it out the drawer, the hole was patched: a Red Hand of Ulster stitched neat across the tear, No Surrender.
Stevie went to find her at the sink:
“Where’s that come fae?”
He held the patch up to her, annoyed. The sweatshirt was his favourite: same grey as the walls he scaled, it blended in to the flats and the sky and the pavements. His Gran pulled a face:
“No me. Was your Da that done it.”
She gave a stone-hard smile at the unlikelihood. Stevie’s Gran was always hard about his Dad these days, even if she wasn’t meant to be; it was like she couldn’t help herself. She told him:
“He came up here wae needle and thread Thursday last. Your Grandad let him in.”
Stevie reckoned she wouldn’t have.
“It was five minutes efter you’d left the house.”
Stevie thought of his Dad, watching for him from the corner. And then of his Gran and Grandad Malky having words; even Uncle Brian and Malky Jnr. shouted over what was best for him, now his Mum was gone. His Gran was still looking at the patch, like she wanted to bin it, and Stevie had thought to do the same, just a minute ago, only then she asked:
“You been at school theday?”
So she knew as well.
“Where’s missin school gonnae get you?”
Her eyes were on him, and not so hard now, only Stevie still didn’t like it. She made him feel like he was another boy of hers gone the wrong way; wearing her down, while she waited for him to come round.
“How long you gonnae keep me?” His Gran sighed, still waiting for an answer.
Only Stevie didn’t have one. And he didn’t see why he had to be good now either, not when nobody else in the family was. So he made for the door, just thinking to get out and climbing, knotting the sweatshirt around himself; July and warm, at least he didn’t have to wear it. But Stevie still heard his Gran shouting down to him as he left the close.
“Cannae be waitin on you forever, son.”
23
Jozef had taken Stevie off the job. He’d seen no other way out.
The boy had made himself scarce, up the stairs, and now Jozef set to work, hauling up the kitchen floorboards. He turned his back on his men, furious with them for closing ranks. Jozef was furious with himself as well: no pride in falling into line.
But it had worked. He’d got them all shoulder to shoulder, for what felt like the first time that summer. He hadn’t even needed to shout: Jozef had just told his men to get on, you know how much we have to get done. And now he heard them, picking up their tools, picking up swiftly where they’d left off.
Tomas went out for pipes, and the rest of them all got their heads down, putting in a solid afternoon. The boiler was righted, the kitchen units fitted neatly around it; floorboards re-laid, heating pipes all in place. On any other day it would have pleased him, but Jozef was glad when they left for the evening, especially Marek.
His phone went while he was sweeping, and Jozef thought it would be the developer, calling with a compromise offer, but it turned out to be Romek.
“Don’t you pay for the over-run, you hear?”
“I’m not.” Jozef was irked: always someone talking behind his back, thinking he had no backbone. And besides, he’d had three phone calls from the man this afternoon, and hadn’t bent once.
Romek told him:
“Good, good.”
And then:
“So you sacked the boy.”
“Who told you?”
It must have been Tomas, Jozef thought. He must have called him, in triumph, but Romek said:
“Stevie. He just phoned me asking for a job.”
Jozef looked up the wide stairs, leaning his broom against the wall. He’d sent the boy to pack up, but he hadn’t heard him leave yet; only so long he could put off throwing him out. Jozef asked:
“So have you got work for him?”
Hoping Romek might. The last Jozef heard, he’d been in line for a big conversion, but Romek told him:
“No. I’ve got nothing. Until well into the autumn. Might have to go on holiday.” He laughed, half-hearted. “Might see you in Gdańsk. I told the boy to stay in Glasgow anyway. Gave him some numbers, people up there. There’s nothing for him in London.”
He didn’t ask why Jozef had sacked him, so Jozef thought he must have heard the whole sorry story. Stevie’s side, in any case. Romek told him:
“You shouldn’t let it get to you.”
“I’m not.”
“All right then.”
Romek let out his breath. Then he said:
“I just know that boy can get to you. Right? If you let him.” Jozef said nothing. It was a surprising admission. But then he thought of the boots: Romek’s son’s, that he’d given to Stevie. Romek had sent the boy up here, told him to stay put; maybe he wanted him off his conscience. Back with his family, even. Romek told Jozef now:
“What can we do? Me and you? We have no work for him.”
And then:
“It’s better this way. That’s what I say. He’ll have to work things out for himself.”
Jozef locked up downstairs, shutting all the windows; he did the same on the first floor, making sure everything was secure. He was leaving the house, for food and air, and bit of respite. But he had to get Stevie out first.
The boy was in the big room when he got upstairs, sitting at the wall with his holdall; all packed up, but like he didn’t know where next. He gave Jozef a black look when he came in the door, and Jozef nodded: understood. But then he told him:
“You didn’t take the pipes. But you are covering up for a thief, yes?”
He was hurt: the boy had got to him, Romek was right, but Jozef hadn’t wanted it to show like this. He was hot again, from the climb through the closed-up house, too aware he was sweating. He hadn’t planned what to say, and he should have planned it. He asked:
“Did Marek get a good price?”
He’d like to know that at least. When he went to see Ewa, he could tell her Marek had learned something over the summer. But Stevie gave no answer, and then Jozef sighed, exasperated.
“Why don’t you go home now?”
“Why don’t you?” Stevie shot back, sharp.
Jozef thought he’d had that coming; he let it pass. He didn’t like to put the boy out onto the street, though, not if he could help it, so he asked:
“How old are you?”
“Auld enough.”
Jozef couldn’t be sure that he was.
“Been takin care ae mysel since I was fourteen, pal.”
The boy made it sound like a long time; it sounded far too young to Jozef.
“Been on my ain two feet since the day I left here.”
There was a hard note in his voice; hard to tell if he was proud or aggrieved. Jozef asked:
“They know you’re back here? Your parents?”
Stevie shook his head, definite.
“You have anyone else?” Jozef persisted.
The boy must have someone; uncles, grandparents.
The boy shook his head again, still annoyed, only not as definite this time, so Jozef waited a moment, thinking he might be getting somewhere. Stevie sat forward a little, as though to speak, but he took his time before he said:
“Used tae stay wae my Gran.”
A brief statement of fact, but Jozef seized it, before the boy could withdraw again.
“Here? In Glasgow?” he asked. “Your grandmother is still in the same place?” Maybe he could go to her.
“Aye.” Stevie blinked, still hesitant. “I phone her there. Sometimes.”
“So, you can phone her now,” Jozef cut in. He didn’t want to know if the boy’s calls were welcome or not, he just got out his mobile, held it out.
But Stevie frowned at the offer, sitting back again, his face darkening.
“I’ve my ain, pal.”
And then Jozef felt foolish, for forcing the issue; for thinking it could be so simple.
The boy had to leave now, even if he had nowhere to go, Jozef knew there was no way round this. He put away his mobile and pulled out his wallet.
“Listen.” He counted out some notes. “This is your wages. It’s what I owe you.”
It was a tidy little wad, enough to cover the final week, not just the days the boy had worked. So Jozef was buying him off, but he hoped they could both pretend he wasn’t.
The boy looked away as Jozef stepped towards him, but when he held out the money, Stevie took it from his hand. In no position to be proud. He pocketed it, and then he muttered:
“So I can get new work boots, aye?”
Jozef nodded. Something like that.
He thought Romek’s boots must be in the holdall, because the boy had his old trainers on, and the shabby jeans too: the same outfit he’d arrived in. Jozef was close enough now to see the fraying stitches around the patch; that it was coming loose, just above the red hand. He told him:
“You can get yourself good work trousers as well.”
Stevie looked down at himself. He bent his knee up to his chest, leaning forward, making a show of inspecting his badge. Then he said:
The Walk Home Page 19