by Taylor Hart
Looking back to the ocean, she marveled at how the moonlight on the water and the waves cresting across the rocks made this whole place seem surreal. In fact, since Zane Kent had been back in her life, it had all felt like she was in a movie. A flock of nerves fluttered through her stomach. She thought of how fierce he looked now, like his face had been permanently chiseled into a soldier expression. Well, except when he played with Tyler. Then Zane looked more like the teenager she’d known. The man made her feel so many things.
There was a soft knock at the door that connected his room to the suite. Sarah knew it was him, but just like every other time, the space between them thickened with tension.
At the door, Zane hesitated. “I’m not gonna lie to you. My head’s not right in this operation.”
The center of her chest tightened, and she thought about this amazing man. She thought about how he’d been jittery since the café and the debriefing with all the guys. Part of her knew it was hard on him to see her with Harris, but even harder to know her life was in danger.
Unlike the first couple of days, Zane didn’t wait. There wasn’t anything weird; he simply came in, shut the door, and gathered her in his arms.
She loved the solid feel of his muscles, loved the way she fit perfectly in his embrace. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. She loved the scent of his neck. His cologne smelled a bit salty. The feel of his long hair as it brushed against her was just one more thing she loved. This was the place she never wanted to leave. She felt safe and loved and protected. Had it ever been this way with Jeff?
No. She felt guilty for even thinking it.
Pulling back, he searched her eyes. Sarah wanted to cry just looking at the adoration on his face. She pushed those emotions back, choosing instead to ask some of the questions she’d wanted to ask. Gently, she touched the scar on the left side of his lip. “Will you tell me what happened here?”
Turning in toward her hand, he gently kissed her fingers. He let out a breath. “First, I have to say, again, I did not enjoy seeing Harris’s advances today.”
This made her smile. “I know.” It’d been a whirlwind afternoon, meeting with Zane and his other friends and talking strategy for the date tomorrow. Then the team had discussed new plans for how to extract the information out of the phone. Meanwhile, she’d focused on Tyler. She and Agatha—who Sarah found not only witty, but also nurturing—had gone to the little beach with for a small picnic and some castle-building. Later, to get the sand off, she and Tyler had jumped into the pool.
She thought about how she’d caught Zane coming out to the beach, looking all G.I. Joe with his two buddies River and Blayze and their weapons at the hip, but she’d seen a smile on Zane’s face. In that smile, she realized she’d seen her future.
Zane let go of her hand and gently cupped her cheek. “I got the one on my lip in hand-to-hand combat with a guy trying to purchase a young women. It wasn’t the first op I’d been on with that team, but the guy trying to buy the girls got a bit too handsy, and I pushed him. He retaliated fast and nicked me with his knife.”
She was mesmerized by this man, by all he’d been through. “You’re so brave.”
He shook his head and swallowed. “Not nearly brave enough.” His lips touched hers. “You don’t need to worry about the scars I have. There are too many.”
She gave in to him, wanting to kiss him. Wanting so many things. She was finally in his arms, feeling all the past and all the present.
He quickly deepened the kiss, pulling her closer, and she actually felt herself go weak in the knees as she held tighter to his shoulders. His arm tightened around her, holding her so close and tight she knew he wouldn’t let her go. She knew the only place she would be falling was deeper and deeper in love with this man. If anyone had told her even a week ago that she would be kissing Zane Kent, she never would have believed it.
After a bit, he pulled back, and his lips widened into a big smile. “Man, you’re beautiful, Sarah.”
She grinned back at him. “Even with all the scars, you’re still pretty okay yourself.”
He kissed her again and tickling her side. “Just okay?”
She giggled, trying to keep quiet but unable to resist his charms.
He held her close and looked around the room. “He didn’t want to settle down, did he?”
They were both looking through the doorway to Tyler. “No. Not that your stories of the scary farm animals make it any easier for him.” She giggled.
A deep laugh came out of him. He kissed her forehead again and brushed a hand down her hair. “Those stories put me to sleep every night.”
“I don’t know if that’s comforting or not.”
“I don’t know either, but my brothers and I loved them.”
Hearing doubt in his voice, she looked up and saw him focused completely on Tyler. She could see the worry in his eyes. “He’s okay,” she assured him, finding it funny she was comforting Zane.
He jerked a bit and loosened his grip on her, then gestured to the couch that faced the window overlooking the view. “Can we sit and talk?”
Not knowing why it made her a bit nervous, she agreed and moved to the couch. There was something about the look in his eye.
They sat, and he kept her hand. “Look, I need to ask you. Are you really comfortable doing this date tomorrow? Because if not, we can change the plan.”
This took her by surprise. “What? No, this … how else are we going to copy his phone?”
“Me and the guys have some ideas. We’re a little short-handed because Cannon has his security gig with his other client on Fridays, but we’ll make sure one of Sutton’s black-suit guys keeps an eye on Tyler. River and Blayze will be at the restaurant with us again. River will be on the inside, and Blayze and Corbin will be on the outside to trail you and make sure you get back here safely.”
She envisioned the rest of his ideas involved throwing a sack over Harris’s head and knocking him out. “You said your team skirts the edges of the law. You sure you want to do that?”
Zane let out a long breath, then reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re also working with the FBI woman, Cheryse. She’ll be in on the op tomorrow.” He shrugged. “So they’ll be less … skirting.”
Sarah thought about how she had kind of lost her mind and accused Cheryse of being Zane’s girlfriend. She turned to the ocean to hide the heat blooming in her cheeks. “Oh, the woman.”
He let out a light laugh and put his arm around her, pulling her into him closer. “Hey, I actually enjoyed your jealousy.”
She pushed him in the shoulder.
“I wanted to seriously Hulk-smash Harris when I watched your little make-out session today.”
Looking up at him, she couldn’t help but smile, liking how he admitted that.
He gently trailed a finger down her jawline before kissing her lips again. “I’ve missed you, Sarah.”
His words sent chills washing through her.
They both searched each other’s eyes for what felt like a long time. Gently, she reached up and ran her hand down the facial hair on his face. “You’re different, Zane. We’re different.” It had been something that worried her. They had all these feelings, and they did have chemistry, but could it ever be like it was back then?
He covered his hand over hers. “I know that.” He blinked. “I think we’re better for it.”
“I just don’t know if I can fit into this world of yours. You keep it so close to you. I know this isn’t what you probably want to talk about, but Jeff and I were married, and we weren’t close.” Everything about it made emotions rush into her chest. Especially with Zane, with all the crap between them. “We tried. Sure, the first year … I was broken. I was depressed. Finally, my mom helped me find a good counselor. I realized I had to deal with my life. Not just for me.” She jerked her head back to Tyler. “For all of us.”
Zane reached down and held her hand. “Tell me. I wan
t to know.”
“I threw myself into being a mother, a wife. Jeff graduated from law school and went to work at a firm. He was gone. A lot. He did try to be a good father to Tyler. He was.” She paused, hating talking about this. About the truth.
He squeezed her hand. “What else?” His words were soft, but when she met his eyes, she realized Zane could always do this, had always been able to see through her.
“He was different with me. Maybe it was him, maybe it was me—both of us probably—but we grew further and further apart. I focused on my friends and Tyler. He worked. He would golf with his work buddies, always ‘politicking,’ he would say.” She blinked and felt uncertain about telling all this, but she had to. “I tried and tried to get him to see a marriage counselor, but he refused to admit there had was a problem. I couldn’t get pregnant, and that was a problem for him.” Uncertainty filled her. Would this be a problem for Zane?
Zane simply gazed into her eyes. “I’m so sorry for everything you went through.”
She wanted to ask, to demand to know if it would be a problem for him if she couldn’t get pregnant, but she was too vulnerable. “I had gone to a divorce attorney and was ready to serve him papers, but the day I was going to talk to him about it, he collapsed at work.” Her eyes fluttered, and she thought about how terrifying it’d been. To go the hospital, to hear the news. “When the doctor said cancer, I knew I was in it until the end.”
Zane frowned and pulled her into him. She let herself lean on his shoulders, let him bring her head to rest on his chest. He brushed his hand down her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“The truth is, at the end was probably the best our marriage ever was.” She sniffed and wiped a tear under her eyes. “We were happier when he was sick than we ever were when he was well.”
Silence reigned, and Zane just held her.
“Tell me something about you,” she whispered, yearning to know the man he’d been the past seven years.
He pointed to the scar on his shoulder. “I got this when we were in the Philippines. I know you’ve asked how all of us are connected. How Sutton is involved. Well …” He let out a long breath, and she could tell this was hard for him. “Sutton’s son, Doug, was on my team. He was a good guy. A really good guy. The kind that takes a team of SEALs who are already exemplary and makes them great.” His voice choked a bit.
She couldn’t stop herself. His pain, the way she knew it was so hard for him to share this, made her want to take it from him. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay.”
He held her close, and they stayed cheek to cheek. “Losing Doug was my fault. I was the commanding officer. It was an ambush. He charged in to let us have a chance to get out. We fought our way out, and when the dust settled, it was clear my leadership had led us to the point where we weren’t sure if it was insurgent fire or friendly fire. After the investigation, the bullet was from a friendly.” He gripped her harder and his breath hitched. “I should have found a way to get everyone out.”
She didn’t know what to do for him, but she wanted him to know he had her unconditional support. She knew opening up like this wasn’t something he was comfortable with. “You can tell me more if you want to.”
Hesitating briefly, his hand moved to the bottom of his shirt, and he lifted it.
She saw his very cut abs, and attraction pulsed through her.
He pointed to a scar across his left peck. “That scar was from a mission I went on a couple of years ago. Undercover. Classified. We were trying to save a village of civilians, but …” His eyes clouded. “We didn’t.”
All the pain, all the walls that she’d seen in this man, made perfect sense. She’d guessed he’d been through a lot, but now she knew.
For a few moments, neither of them spoke. Then she lifted his shirt back up, and she gently kissed the scar.
He froze and sharply inhaled.
She dropped his shirt and then leaned in and kissed the scar on his shoulder.
The tension between them went up a notch.
She stared at his face, thinking about all those years ago, about all the crap between them. About all he’d been through and how she hadn’t been there for him. Tears raced down her cheeks. She leaned forward and kissed the scar on his lip, gentle as the wings of a butterfly.
Pulling her in closer, but not kissing her, he blinked away tears.
She put both of her hands on his cheeks and stared into his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I wish things had been easier.”
He shook his head. “I don’t.”
Stunned, she felt herself start to cry more.
“I don’t wish things were easier or different. When you told me your decision gave you Tyler, you were right. I wouldn’t give him up either.” He blinked, and his jaw tightened. “I wouldn’t give you up. I wouldn’t give up having the chance to have you in my life again.” He leaned in and gently kissed her. “Sarah, I have felt like a piece of me was missing for seven years. I was—”
“Broken,” she filled in for him. Tears fell down her face, and she nodded. “I was too.”
“Maybe we don’t have to be anymore.” He brushed his lips to hers.
Cocking her head to the side, she wondered at how much this man could be the same and different all at once. “Are we fixed?”
“Well, I don’t pretend to understand God, but like I told you today, I feel like he brought you back to me. He brought you back, and he gave me Tyler too. I feel so bad I wasn’t there for Jeff, but …” He sighed and looked into her eyes. “I hope wherever Jeff is, he can forgive me. I hope you can forgive me too. And I want to forgive you. I want to have more forgiveness and love in my life.”
Warmth rushed through her. She pressed her lips to his, reaching back and pushing her hands into his long locks of hair.
He pulled her closer, scooting her onto his lap, and she felt all the heat between them. It was so much more, though. It was love and passion and forgiveness. “I think this might be God’s grace, right here.”
She couldn’t help but cry again. “You’re right.” Maybe God had brought them back together. She held his gaze, her hands still on his face. “We’re going to get through this, and then we’re going to start a new life together.”
Holding her close, he whispered, “I like the sound of that.”
Chapter 20
Zane sat on the other side of restaurant in jeans, a ball cap, and sunglasses. He was tucked into a corner booth and trying to look chill. He’d told the waiter he wanted soup, a sandwich, water, and to be left alone. He looked out over the ocean, mesmerized by the way the sun danced on the water. It was the perfect spot, and he was in the perfect position so he could be close, but go unnoticed. They’d picked this place on purpose, so they could be chill about it. River was across the table for backup.
Zane had put a wire in Sarah’s ear, almost untraceable. He heard her and Harris entering the restaurant. She needed to get his phone. Somehow. Get his phone and hand it off to River or just get it and hold on to it.
Cheryse would be the waitress tonight. He didn’t know how she’d managed that, but he was grateful. He liked having more people around in case things went badly.
Zane watched them sit out of his peripheral vision. They were on the other side of the restaurant, where it was fancier, less of a lunch place, more ritzy. Sarah, that brilliant woman, had taken the seat facing Zane, so Harris had his back to Zane’s booth.
Harris said, “Oh, I love the ocean view. Nice choice, princess.”
She smiled at him. “Let’s not do pet names.”
A light chuckle from Harris. “Okay, but I would treat you so well, just like a princess if you let me. And Tyler, I would raise him to be the man he needs to be.”
All the hackles on the back of Zane’s neck bristled, and he wanted to get up, march over there, and punch the guy in the face.
“This is really sweet of you,” Sarah said. “But honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about long-term commitments yet
.”
“Ah, the matchmaker doesn’t want a match,” Harris said softly. “That’s okay. I’ll just have to court you more. I have to admit, I was surprised when things took this kind of turn yesterday.” He sighed, and Zane could imagine him putting his hand over hers. “I won’t lie. It was a good surprise.”
Sarah let out an uncomfortable laugh. “What can I say? You make convincing arguments.” Her voice sounded a bit seductive, and Zane didn’t like it.
“Chill out, Tiger,” River said.
Jerking his head, Zane looked over at River, who was cocking an eyebrow at him.
Zane sucked in a breath. They needed information. They needed details. They needed that phone for just a few minutes.
Cheryse came out, looking very professional. Zane had to admit he was impressed by the woman. She knew her stuff, and she was willing to put herself on the line to get things done. She got them drinks and came back quickly to take their orders.
“What would you like tonight?” Cheryse asked Sarah first.
“Oh, the salmon and steamed veggies with a potato, please.”
Cheryse smiled at her. “Sounds good.” She turned to Harris. “For you, sir?”
Harris let out a long sigh. “Could you tell me what kind of spices are on the filet mignon?”
Zane rolled his eyes.
“Ah,” Cheryse said. “Let me think. Basil, risotto …” She sounded unconvinced.
Harris pulled his menu down. “You don’t know, do you?”
Cheryse looked uncertain. “I’m sorry, sir, I just started a couple of days ago.” She cowered to him.
“Hmph.” He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a reason you shouldn’t know your job, do you?”
Cheryse actually blushed. “I’m sorry, sir.”
Harris sighed and mumbled something about poor service he couldn’t tolerate.