Ray’s ears perked up. He heard the hesitancy in her voice. She was avoiding having to tell him who she was going with.
“Big date, huh?” Ray held his breath, hoping to hear her say no.
Amanda cleared her voice. “I don’t know about big, but yes, it’s a date. No big deal.”
Ray was speechless. He didn’t have any idea how to respond.
“In fact, Ray, I’ve got to get going. I have to meet him soon.” She was dying inside.
“I’m sorry I bothered you. Have a good time today. Can I just ask a question?”
“Sure.”
“Is this somebody special? This is quite a change from your usual drinks. This is spending a whole day with someone.” Ray hated how pathetic he sounded, but seemed not to be able to help it.
“No. I’ve dated him a couple of times. He’s nice, but that’s it. I just thought a day at the park sounded fun. Better than sitting home alone, Ray.”
Ray tried not to compare that to his day ahead. “I guess so. Like I said, have fun.”
“Want me to call you when I get home?”
“No you don't have to. You probably won’t be home till late”
“If I am, I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?” She could tell he was not happy about this. She hung up before she could feel any more guilt.
Ray hung up the phone and just sat there. Was he going to lose her? How could he lose someone he’d never met? What could he do to change the course of things, to go and meet her and finally find out if they should actually be together? He had to find a way before Amanda found someone else.
Ray hung his head in his hands. There was no way. He was still married and going through a messy divorce. He had nothing to offer her. With his head still in his hands and feeling more defeated than ever, Ray cried.
~~~
Amanda thought about Ray on her way to meet Dan. She hated hurting him; she could sense how bothered he was by this. However, they both knew there were no ties in any way, other than friendship. In fact, she reminded herself, they hadn’t even met.
As she mulled that tidbit over in her mind, she wondered what it was that tied her to him. True, they’d not met in person, yet she felt she’d known him all her life. They seemed bonded together by the heartaches in their past and their plans for the future. They’d never discussed a future together, but it was as if it were an unspoken pact. Amanda knew she went on these dates strictly for amusement and companionship. It also made her friends and family happy. They all thought that her friendship with Ray was insane, so if she dated, she seemed more normal. She had to admit that she was enjoying dating; it did beat sitting home hoping one of her kids showed up.
She pulled up to Dan’s address and fell in love with his house. It was a small ranch style home, with trees and flowers in the garden. It was adobe brick, and like his truck, looked very well attended.
Dan came out to the porch to greet her. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt. He looked much younger than his age. He looked tanned and healthy, and happy to see her.
“Hey, right on time. Come on in, I have coffee and bagels ready before we go.”
They hugged briefly when she got out of the car. Amanda was happy to see him, too. She decided to put thoughts of Ray away for the time being and enjoy the day with Dan.
“So, are you up to the promised roller coaster ride?” She asked him as she wolfed down her bagel. The inside of Dan’s home was very cozy, definitely a man’s home. It was clean and picked up; she couldn’t help but wonder if it was always like that.
“I am. The infamous ‘El Bandido’ is mine for the taking today. I can’t wait!”
Amanda laughed. ‘El Bandido’ was the huge roller coaster at Western Playland. She’d taken Elisa and Alex on it dozens of times. She loved it. “I can’t wait either. It’s going to be a rush!”
Dan smiled at his date and wondered if she knew exactly how beautiful she was. She was so natural and down to earth. He liked that about her. He resisted the urge to smooth back a piece of hair that had fallen from her swept up hair. “We better get going so we beat the lines.”
Once at the park, they enjoyed the day. They rode on ‘El Bandido’ several times, both laughing and holding up their arms like kids. They went on the other thrill rides with names like, ‘the Pharaoh, and ‘La Ruleta’. They ate hot dogs and cotton candy, and Dan even won a huge stuffed bear at the Tin Alley. As the three of them rode on the train around the park, they decided to head on home. They’d had enough thrills for one day.
The ride home was quiet, with both Dan and Amanda tired and trying to unwind. Once at Dan’s, he asked her in for a glass of wine.
As they were sitting on the couch sipping on their wine, Dan asked Amanda about her children. Being her favorite subject, she went on about them, and about her struggle with being a single mom.
“I especially have a hard time with Alex. I can teach him right from wrong, how to be responsible for his actions, and always to treat women with respect, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to teach him how to be a man. Maybe that comes naturally, I just don’t know. I just want him to be the best that he can be.” Tears had come to Amanda’s eyes, she felt very passionate on this subject.
Dan was touched. It was so obvious how much she loved them. “I’m sure you’ve done a terrific job. They sound like great kids. Hopefully, I’ll get to meet them soon.”
Amanda smiled up at Dan, but a warning bell was going off in her mind. It was like a flashing neon sign that read TOO SOON, TOO SOON! She looked up to tell him that, at the same time he reached down to kiss her. His lips were soft and full, and she could feel the warmth spread throughout her whole body. Coupled with the wine, she felt as if she were melting in his arms.
When they finally drew apart, they looked at each other, both a little embarrassed, but happily so. They held hands as they finished their wine, neither of them speaking, just enjoying the feeling of sitting together, fingers entwined.
Amanda glanced at her watch, and realized she needed to get home. She hated to leave, she felt as if they’d reached a different plateau, and wanted to explore it further. Regretfully, she put down her glass and stood up, still holding Dan’s hand. “I hate to do this, but I better get home.” She pulled him up off the couch. “I’ve had the best time today. Thanks so much for inviting me.” She put her arm around his waist. “I like you Daniel; you’re one of the few nice guys around.”
Dan laughed. “Well I’m glad you think so, and I like you too, Mandy.” He bent down and kissed her softly. “I’ll be calling you soon.”
“I look forward to it. Thanks again for a great day. Goodnight.”
Dan walked her to his front door. “Drive safe.”
She got into her car and waved as she pulled away. She was surprised at how much she liked this man. So far, she’d not been able to find anything wrong with him. She laughed at that thought; it’s not as if she had been looking for something wrong. She chose not to overanalyze it, and just enjoy being with him for the time being.
Ray tossed and turned the entire night. He couldn’t find a comfortable position, and he couldn’t get Amanda out of his mind. She hadn’t called him, meaning either she got home too late, or he had completely slipped her mind. She must have had a good time. Dammit! Why was this happening?
Ray threw off the covers and got out of bed. He went to the kitchen for some water. As he stood there in the kitchen, he wished he still had a computer. Then he could email Amanda and tell her what he was feeling. He had more trouble with this when he was on the phone. He didn’t want her to date, he wanted for her to give ‘them’ a try. But, he knew he had no right to ask this of her. They didn’t even know each other for heaven’s sake! He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 12:30 a.m. here, but in Texas it was hours earlier. He decided to chance it and give her a call. Maybe hearing her voice would help him get to sleep that night. He started to dial the number, but hung up when it started ringing. He was so pathetic! The last th
ing he wanted was to show Amanda he was clingy, or wanted more than she was willing to give. He was just going to have to be patient, and leave it in the hands of fate. After all, wasn’t that what had brought them together? He resigned himself to some hot cocoa and late night TV. He would talk to her tomorrow, as planned.
~~~
Amanda and Alex were meeting Elisa for breakfast. Hilary was tagging along too. Amanda was all ready running late, it’d been impossible to get Alex out of bed. He was definitely not a morning person.
“Alexander! Let’s go, we’re late!” There was no disguising the irritation in her voice. “Aunt Hilary is probably already there!”
“Hang on!” Alex tried to hurry a bit more. He didn’t want to admit he was still in his pajamas. “I’ll be there in a second.”
“I’ll be out in the car.”
The phone rang before she could get out of the door. She thought about not answering it, but it could be Elisa or Hilary.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Good morning sunshine!” Ray tried to sound a lot chipper than he felt.
“Good morning to you. Although at the moment, I’m a little irritated. We’re trying to get out of here, but Alex is not cooperating.”
“Where are you off to?” Ray tried to sound nonchalant.
“I'm off to breakfast, with my daughter and sister.” Why was Ray always asking where she was going?
“Ah, sounds fun.” He was relieved it wasn’t with the roller coaster guy. “How were the roller coasters yesterday?”
Amanda rolled her eyes; she definitely didn’t want to start this conversation right now. “It was fun. Look, Ray, Alex is finally here, we’re late, and so I have to go. I’m sorry to always be running, I promise tonight will be different. We’ll have one of our marathon calls, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll call you about eight your time?” Ray liked to be the one paying for these marathon calls.
“I have no plans, so that sounds great. Talk to you then, Ray.”
She hung up the phone. She felt irritated with him and was unsure why.
“Let’s go Mom!” Alex was finally ready. She would have to analyze her irritation with Ray later.
They all arrived at the same time at the pancake house they all favored. Elisa looked as if she’d been through a rough night, and Hilary was energetic as usual. They all hugged and were happy to see each other. Amanda was especially happy to see Elisa and gave her an extra squeeze. She held her at arms length and asked her why she looked so bad.
“Mom, one of the good things about living on my own is that I don’t have to explain everything to you. I’m fine, not sick; let’s just leave it at that.”
“Well excuse me for living. I was just concerned, that’s all.”
“Whatever. Can we get some coffee?”
Hilary was enjoying the mother-daughter exchange. “Sometimes, I’m totally relieved that Susie is only a little girl. I’m not ready for these in-depth conversations.”
“Very funny, Hil. I need that coffee now, so let’s go in.”
Alex rolled his eyes at the women. “Exactly, why aren’t I at home sleeping right now?”
The family went into the restaurant and got a table right away. They loved this particular breakfast place. It had a country home kind of feeling to it, with a fireplace and rustic tables, and the food was great. They each ordered their favorite breakfast, and then settled down with their coffee to catch up.
“Elisa, if I’m not being too nosy, what’s new with you?” Amanda was still stinging from her daughter’s earlier comment.
Elisa rolled her eyes. She had a horrific hangover and was in no mood for her mother. She should have gone with her gut instinct and cancelled this morning. “Nothing is new Mom…same old thing, work, school, and play.” Elisa was slumped on her arm, talking in a monotone voice. She drank her coffee, wishing they would just leave her alone.
Hilary finally asked the obvious question. “Exactly how much did you drink last night?”
After giving her aunt a murderous look, she opted to plead the fifth.
Amanda shook her head and decided to let it go. She was living on her own and an adult, even though she was not of legal drinking age. She’d been young once too, and had done the same thing. She changed the subject.
“Hilary, how’s Susie? I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“She’s adorable and cute, and never hung over.”
Elisa shot her aunt another murderous look.
Hilary laughed out loud. “Oh come on, if I can’t give you a hard time, what fun are these breakfasts’?” She reached over and mussed Elisa’s hair.
“They are no fun at all!” Hilary’s teasing had broken the tension and Elisa had even smirked a little.
Hilary didn’t stop there. “So Mandy how’s the internet murderer?”
Amanda’s eyes almost popped out of her head. Why would she bring that up in front of the kids?
“Yeah Mom, how’s good old Ray?” Elisa was ecstatic to get the heat off her and onto her mother.
“Ray’s fine. We still talk from time to time.” She said this as casually as she could.
It was Alex’s turn to add something. “Does time to time mean every day? I see his name on our caller ID.”
Hilary and Elisa’s head turned at the same time. “Every day?”
As if this conversation wasn’t bad enough, Amanda looked up and saw Dan walking into the restaurant. Talk about bad timing, there was no way she wanted to go from talking about Ray, to introducing Dan to this bunch. She looked for an exit to run out through. Unfortunately, there was none, so she had to hope Dan wouldn’t see her. She tried to hide behind Elisa who was sitting across from her.
“What are you doing, Mom?”
“Nothing...why?” She looked over and saw Dan looking her way. She looked away, praying he wouldn’t recognize her. Of course, that was too much to ask.
“You’re acting weird. What’s wrong?”
Dan was at the table. “Mandy? Hi! This is a nice surprise.” He stood there smiling at the group. He waited for Amanda to introduce them, but as of yet she hadn’t even said hello. In fact, she seemed to have paled.
Hilary was looking up at Dan, and then seeing how uncomfortable her sister looked, took it upon herself to save her. “I’m sorry; the cat seems to have cut my sister’s tongue. I’m Hilary.” She extended her hand, which Dan took warmly.
“Hi Hilary, I’ve heard a lot of nice things about you from Mandy.”
Hilary looked at her sister with surprise. “Is that so? I wish I could say the same. These are her children, Elisa and Alex.”
Amanda hadn’t even moved a muscle. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She wasn’t ready for her family to know she was dating someone. Next thing she knew, Hilary was inviting him to sit down.
“Are you here alone, Dan? You’re welcome to join us.”
Dan had noticed how uncomfortable Amanda was. He’d also noted the fact that Hilary hadn’t heard about him. Plus, the look she gave her sister when she extended the invitation to join them. “I don’t want to intrude. Listen, Mandy, call me when the cat returns your tongue. Nice meeting everyone.” Dan gave them his warmest smile, his eyes resting on Amanda for an extra second, then turned and walked away.
He was barely out of earshot when Hilary started in on her. “Who was that? He’s absolutely gorgeous!”
Amanda sighed. “I guess if I said I didn’t want to talk about it, that wouldn’t work, huh?”
Elisa took a turn. “No it wouldn’t. What gives Mom? Who was that hunk?”
Amanda took one more stab at getting the subject dropped. “Does the comment you gave me about being an adult, blah, blah, blah, work in this situation too? After all, I’m even older.”
In unison, they all said no.
Amanda gave them the brief story about Dan. How they met, about their dates, and how really it was no big deal. He was a nice guy, she liked him, and they had a good time together; that was it
.
“Will you be seeing him again? That is, if you didn’t scare him away with the mime impression you put on for him.” They all laughed at Amanda’s expense.
“Yeah Mom, you were like a deer in the headlights”. More laughter.
Amanda turned beet red. They were right. Dan probably thought she was a big loser after that performance. “I don’t know it just caught me off guard. I didn’t expect to see him here, in my private life”.
Hilary looked around. “Wow, I didn’t realize you owned this place.”
Amanda groaned. “Can you all just shut up for one minute? I’m so embarrassed right now, and you’re right, he probably won’t call me anymore, and I kind of liked him! So just shut up and give me a minute to regroup.” She stood up. “I’m going to the ladies room”.
Elisa stood up. “I’ll come with you”.
“No!”
Elisa sat down. “Fine, then.”
Amanda walked through the restaurant, and of course saw Dan. He was sitting alone at the table; he looked up and saw her, but looked back down at his plate immediately. She felt horrible. She wondered if she should go talk to him, she obvious had hurt him, but she didn’t know what to say. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk to her, so she decided to leave him alone.
She went into the ladies room and stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t like what she saw. Why had she acted like that? She liked Dan, why would it embarrass her that she was dating him. She shook her head; she’d really blown it. She hoped she could get him to forgive her, but somehow, she doubted it. She went back out, planning to sit with him for a few minutes, and try to explain her action. She went towards the table she had seen him at, but it was empty. She looked out the restaurant window and saw his truck pulling away.
Feeling even more disheartened, she returned to her family.
~~~
Dan also was feeling disheartened. He thought things were going well between them, why would she treat him like that. Did he embarrass her? Was she using him? He didn’t understand that whole scene, and at this stage of the game, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. This is why he hated dating, why he didn’t want to get involved with women. He barely knew her, although he liked her a lot, and now she was hurting him, for no apparent reason. No thanks, he thought. He got up, left a twenty on the table, and made his exit before Amanda could come out of the bathroom. He had nothing to say to her.
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