by A. K. Morgen
The crowd cheered loudly, recalling my attention. I focused on the field just in time to see the dean present Dace and his teammates with a gold medal.
“You okay?” Chelle leaned in to ask me.
“The wolves are here,” I said, my voice pitched low so our conversation didn’t carry.
“They are?” Chelle looked around as if expecting to see them sitting amidst the crowd. “Why?”
“To keep an eye on us.”
“Oh.” A look of surprise crossed her face.
“You’re important to me and Dace,” I explained to her. “To them, that’s the same as being a member of our pack.” The wolves didn’t view Chelle and her sister or Mandy as members of their pack, but they did see Chelle and her sister as members of Dace’s pack. He protected the girls, and we both considered Chelle a close friend. Even if she and Beth hadn’t been Sköll and Hati’s targets, that would have been reason enough for the wolves to protect them, too.
“Oh,” Chelle said again. She sat in silence for a minute, mulling my explanation before she shook her head. “Do you ever feel like we’ve walked into the Twilight Zone?”
I laughed, watching Dace clap his teammates on the back before heading in our direction. “All the time,” I said. “All the time.”
ey, you,” Dace said, climbing the bleachers toward us. His hair was a tousled riot atop his head, and a little boy grin stretched across his face.
The crowd around us tossed cheerful congratulations and playful insults his way. He responded to each with a polite “thank you” or a chuckle. His gaze never left my face.
I leaned back to look up at him when he stood directly in front of me. “Nice medal,” I said, nodding at the faux-gold circle dangling against his chest.
He pulled it off before leaning down to drop the blue ribbon around my neck. “Looks better on you, beautiful.” He winked.
A group of girls sitting a row down from us giggled.
I rolled my eyes, blushing. “You’re impossible.”
Chelle and Gage both laughed.
Dace gave me that mischievous grin of his, settling down on the bench behind me. “And you’re adorable.” He slid me backward until he could wrap his arms around me from behind. “You’re glowing,” he whispered, his lips against my ear. “Having fun?”
I shivered from the combination of his cool skin and warm breath tickling at my ear. “Yes,” I said. “Thank you for bringing me.”
He pressed his lips to my temple and hummed, the sound content. “You needed this.”
I couldn’t even begin to tell him how very much I needed this. How much we needed this. Being cooped up inside day after day, poring over mythology texts and stressing over the apocalypse and our problems wasn’t doing either of us any good at all. We both needed time off.
I talked to Buka, I said.
I know. Kalei will make sure they stay hidden today, so no worrying.
I settled back against him with a soft sigh, determined to do as he said and not worry about them. Kalei and Buka would keep the pack safe, and, if they were spotted, I kind of doubted anyone would have time to do anything before the wolves slipped back into the relative safety of the woods. Weapons weren’t allowed on school grounds, thankfully.
“Is my dad here?” I asked Dace, watching the games below. Everyone looked so happy and carefree, tossing snowballs at one another or chatting back and forth.
“He’s with Thomas.” Dace lifted his hand to point.
I followed his finger with my gaze and smiled. Dad, his girlfriend Melinda, and Professor Edwards were surrounded by a group of students on the far side of the field, talking and laughing with them. My dad looked relaxed and carefree for the first time in weeks.
“Chris and Ainsley are keeping an eye on him for you,” Dace whispered in my ear.
I nodded, automatically picking the shifters out from the crowd. Chris was massive, like a wrestler. Hard to miss. So was Ainsley, for that matter. She was supermodel tall. They had both visited me in the hospital, and I liked them immensely. So did my dad. Dace couldn’t have chosen Dad’s bodyguards for the day any better.
“Thank you,” I said.
Dace grinned at me.
Forty-five minutes later, the games were in full swing, and I was having a blast. Dace kept me wrapped up tightly in his arms, and I felt great. Happy. Content. In love. I wanted to freeze the moment and stay right there, far removed from the grim realities waiting for us at home.
As Chelle promised, everyone stopped staring at us eventually, too wrapped up in the games and antics happening on the quad to spare any attention for me and Dace.
And Dace, well, Dace was on his best behavior. We alternated cuddling together and chatting and laughing with Chelle and Gage. Like my dad, he was relaxed for the first time in ages. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Dace so calm. Actually, I don’t think I’d ever seen him so at ease. So much weighed him down from the moment I met him. But, today, he was free. He was… Dace.
He nuzzled his cold face into my neck, planting little kisses everywhere he could reach.
I love seeing you like this, I said.
Hmm?
Happy. I tilted my head to the side to allow him better access to my neck. I loved when he kissed me like this. Like he couldn’t be this close to me without having his hands and lips on me.
I am happy. You make me happy.
Gage leaned down to whisper something to Chelle. She looked out over the field, frowned, and then whispered something back to him, too low for me to hear. Gage responded, causing her to shake her head. Her frown deepened.
I followed her gaze with mine and had to bite back the urge to groan.
Ronan stood across the quad, his long hair blowing in the brisk wind.
Why is he here?
I asked him to come, Dace said.
“Why?” I demanded aloud.
Some of the girls around us turned in my direction.
“Shit,” I cursed under my breath. I would remind everyone I was within gawking distance. I arched a brow in a pointed, unspoken request.
They hurriedly averted their gazes, opting instead to cast furtive glances over their shoulders at us.
Behave, please. Dace continued nuzzling my neck, trying to distract me.
I closed my eyes and leaned back into him again, doing my best to ignore the renewed interest of my former classmates. They weren’t only curious about me. They were just as curious about Dace, the gorgeous TA who had never dated a student before me. Didn’t help, though. I didn’t like the attention.
Why’s Ronan here? I asked.
To help keep an eye on things.
Dace sucked at lying. Or maybe I’d gotten better at picking up on the things he didn’t say. Whatever the case, he wasn’t being honest with me. I heard it in the half-second pause before he answered. Felt it in the way his body tensed for a moment before he relaxed again.
I’m not lying.
You’re not telling the whole truth, either.
I am.
Geri? I pushed my thoughts out toward the wolf. If he knew what Dace was plotting, he’d fill me in. Wolves didn’t keep secrets.
Geri stirred.
Dammit, Arionna. Dace nipped gently at my skin with his teeth, a little punishment for defying him, and a little reward for defying him. The boy was nothing if not complicated.
“Tell me,” I said, turning my face into his.
He’s here to see if he can root out Sköll or Hati.
I froze, my heart jumping.
We don’t know if they’re here, Dace said, trying to ease my mind.
It didn’t work.
He didn’t know for sure, but he suspected the demon wolves were here. And why wouldn’t he? Whoever they were, they knew where he worked, where I went to school. They knew exactly where to find us the day they attacked, right down to our schedules. Of course, they were here somewhere. What I didn’t understand was why Dace was here.
If
he expected Sköll and Hati to show up, why did he willingly let me, Chelle, and Beth come here?
Because you’re safe here.
So he hoped.
I won’t let anything happen to you again.
I sighed, things beginning to fall into place in my mind.
Dace wouldn’t let any of us leave the house without a guard, but he had no such qualms about putting Ronan in danger. Sköll and Hati had to know Dace would be too busy keeping an eye on me, Chelle, and Beth to spare any attention for anyone else today. No one would be watching Ronan’s back, making him an easy target. All the twin wolves had to do was separate him from the crowd, and no one would ever know.
That’s why we were really here today. Not because we needed a break or because Dace was actually trying, but for this. So Ronan could do what Dace wouldn’t let me do and act as bait.
We couldn’t even get away from the apocalypse for a single afternoon.
The damn thing followed us everywhere went.
Ronan disappeared into the trees on the far side of the quad, completely alone and unprotected. Exactly as he and Dace planned.
“You okay?” Chelle whispered to me.
“Peachy,” I muttered, suddenly exhausted.
Dace sighed but said nothing. What could he say anyway?
Assuming we could take the afternoon off was naïve. I was naïve for assuming Dace’s only motivation for letting me out of the house was something as simple as giving me a break. Of course, my desire for time away wasn’t Dace’s only reason for bringing me here, because Dace didn’t operate that way. And it wouldn’t bother him in the least if Ronan turned up dead at the end of the day. Hell, Dace would toss Ronan to Sköll and Hati himself if he believed it would save me.
“Gage told me.” Chelle scowled, her lips compressed into a thin, disapproving line. “I didn’t know.”
“That makes two of us,” I said. I’d had about enough of the men in my life making decisions without consulting me, or treating me like I was a non-factor in discussions that I should have been involved in. This was my life, too. My problem, too.
It’s not like that, Arionna.
Stay out of my head, Dace. I couldn’t block him out. I didn’t know how. But I did scoot forward, away from him. I was angry, and I had every right to be. He lied to me, and he couldn’t kiss it better now.
“Dammit,” he swore.
Chelle pulled away from Gage, earning a frustrated sigh from him.
I ignored Dace and Gage both, too pissed to care if their feelings were hurt. They deliberately lied to us. And for what? So they could toss someone else into the line of fire at the first possible opportunity.
“Arionna, please―”
I turned my attention back to the field before Dace could finish whatever he intended to say.
I didn’t want to hear it. I felt like a fool for being so oblivious to the truth. I went along with him, not even questioning why we were really out here.
I should have known better.
Focusing on snow vaulting wasn’t easy when all I really wanted to do was scream, but I managed to accomplish the task. Our little group watched in stony silence as Professor Dodd and Steven Jeffries, one of the boys I met before my life became this complicated, started down the field, their vaulting poles in hand. I knew nothing about snow vaulting, but apparently the object of the sport was the same as a regular pole vault. Whoever cleared the bar and landed farthest won. Instead of landing on mats, though, they landed in a pit of snow. Clever. And cold.
Dace wrapped another blanket around me when I shivered in sympathy.
I scooted closer to Chelle.
Arionna, please don’t do this, Dace pleaded. Talk to me.
No.
I couldn’t talk to him without yelling. People were already staring at me. I didn’t need to give them another reason. And, to be honest, I didn’t want to talk to Dace. He told me he was trying, and I’d believed him, but he wasn’t. He’d only said what I wanted to hear so I’d back off instead of asking questions.
Once again, he’d hidden things from me so he didn’t have to deal with the reality of our situation. And I was the one left to worry over the consequences. Ronan didn’t even have the pack for backup out there because they were busy helping Dace keep an eye on all of us. Ronan was out there in the woods, completely alone.
If Sköll and Hati attacked him….
“Men suck,” I muttered to Chelle.
She nodded, wide-eyed.
“Dammit,” Dace growled behind me, jumping to his feet. He scooped me up into his arms like he would a recalcitrant child.
One of the blankets wrapped around me fluttered to the bench.
Twenty pairs of eyes turned in our direction.
Chelle’s mouth dropped open.
“Put me down,” I hissed.
“No.” Dace stormed down the bleachers with me, his face a thundercloud.
I glared up at him, fighting the urge to strangle him. Or bite him. Hard. I did not appreciate being manhandled like an unruly toddler in the throes of a temper tantrum. I had a legitimate reason to be pissed at Dace, and he knew it.
“Let me go now, Dace,” I demanded again when his booted feet hit the snow at the bottom of the bleachers.
He ignored me, his long, angry strides carrying us quickly away from the crowd. Only when he’d cleared the administration building, effectively blocking two hundred sets of prying eyes, did he set me on my feet again.
“You wanted to yell at me, so yell,” he said, leaning back against the building with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked furious with his jaw set and his green eyes flashing fire.
“You don’t get it, do you?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to scream at him, cry, or pull my hair out. “I’m not a freaking child, Dace!”
“I never said you were.”
“You didn’t have to say it.” I clutched my blanket around me, trying not to lose my temper. He was so freaking infuriating! “You, Dad, Ronan, and Gage make decisions without consulting me or even telling me what’s going on. You talk about me like I’m not in the room. You refuse to listen to what I have to say. You lie to me. Every time I think you’re getting better at dealing with this, you prove me wrong. Do you even care what I think, Dace?”
“You know I do.”
“Really?” I clenched my hands inside the blanket, a last ditch effort not to strangle him. My heart pounded, causing blood to rush through me in a torrent of sound. “When was the last time you asked my opinion on any of this? When was the last time you stopped for two seconds to ask what I thought we should do? Or what I wanted?”
“What do you want, Arionna?” he asked. The words were soft, a lot softer than the razor-sharp frustration stinging at me through our bond.
“I want you to wake up!” I took a deep breath as the shouted words reverberated in the frigid air around us. “You’re so insistent on protecting me, you don’t even care whose life you risk in the process, and I’m not the only one in danger here. You and Ronan decided to let him do this thing today and didn’t even ask what I thought about it―or consider that it could end badly.”
“It’s not going to end badly.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked. “Can you promise me with absolutely no doubts whatsoever that something won’t go wrong out there today? That Ronan won’t die out there?”
Dace clamped his jaws together without speaking.
“That’s what I thought. You can’t promise me that because you don’t know. Neither of you do. And guess what, Dace? If this brilliant plan of yours goes wrong, if something does happen to Ronan, who’s going to face Sköll and Hati with you the next time they attack? Who’s going to help keep you alive to finish this thing if he gets killed because you two didn’t even consider the risks here?” Tears welled in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.
How could Dace not even care that his life was in danger? Sköll and Hati nearly killed him once already. Part of me wanted to hate him
for being able to forget, because I couldn’t. I remembered exactly what it felt like to stand in my dad’s office, completely unable to help while Dace fought for his life. The wounds those monsters caused him healed, but not before their memory seared itself into my soul.
He thought I didn’t understand why he was so afraid to lose me, but he was wrong because I did understand. I’d lived it once already. The memory still haunted me. And Dace was willing to put me through that again, because he didn’t want to face reality.
I’d always hated those young couples who said they didn’t want to live without the other. I thought they were melodramatic idiots. Part of me still felt that way, but the other part, this huge part of me… that part understood exactly how someone could say that. Dace and I were meant to be together. We were created for one another, by a god, no less. We had loved one another in a hundred different lifetimes. We fought together, lived together, raised a family together, and died together. Because that’s who we were. That’s who we always were.
But Odin didn’t send us into this battle to sacrifice the world for our own selfish reasons, either. He sent us to defend the world, to protect it, and to keep his transgressions from killing everyone. He was so afraid of what Fenrir might do that he endangered the world. I didn’t remember Odin, and I didn’t even understand our entire, complicated existence, but I understood sacrifice.
Our lives for the world.
That was Odin’s sacrifice for his mistake, and, somewhere down the line, even if we didn’t remember, Dace and I agreed to it. So we didn’t get to back out now. We didn’t get to change our minds now, because Sköll and Hati were out there, and death stared every single one of us in the face. Until we stopped that, what we wanted couldn’t be allowed to matter.
I didn’t want to die. God, I did not want to die. But I wasn’t strong enough to win this war for us. If one of us died, it had to be me because Dace and Ronan had to survive. Without them, no one stood a chance. And that meant Dace couldn’t risk his life for mine. That meant he couldn’t make stupid decisions and risk Ronan’s life to keep me safe. Dace needed to accept that.
“I can’t,” he said, his voice little more than a broken whisper. “I can’t accept that. I won’t.”