Alec was… I wasn’t sure what Alec was. My heart raced every time I saw him. We’d gotten to know each other so well over the last few weeks. I smiled when I thought of him, and how he held my hand, laughed at my jokes, how he wanted to be more than friends… what could’ve been. He’d asked me to stay. He’d kissed me. He was falling in love with me. And, I slowly admitted to myself, I was falling in love with him. I quickly packed up all of Mary’s clothes, except for the mohair sweater. I wanted to keep that as a memory of her. I also kept the dress I was wearing. I knew I was acting morbid, thinking of saying goodbye. It’s not like I would never see these people again. I would come back as soon as I could.
I was able to fit all of my clothes into my original suitcase. Even my new boots and parka. I counted my cash before storing it in my wallet. I’d made quite a lump sum working at the hotel. It would be a nice cushion for life back in L.A.
I quickly did a once over in the mirror and cleaned the running mascara off of my slightly sunburned cheeks. I straightened my dress, grabbed my keys and my grey cardigan, and headed out. It was starting to get dark and I knew it would be chilly. I found Helen in the kitchen with George and Katie. Perfect. I could tell them all at once. Helen ran over to me the instant she saw me.
"You have to go, don’t you?"
"Yes, I’m so sorry," I cried, as my voice broke. I fell into her and blubbered continuously for a couple of minutes. I felt George massaging my back, and Katie grabbed my hand, kissing it once.
"When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow at noon. I have to sort some things out, and then I’ll be back."
They all looked at me with the same look of understanding. They knew I had to go.
"I’ll ring Uncle Thomas and have him come pick you up around 10 a.m.," George said, coming over to give me a hug.
"Thank you all for everything you’ve done," I said quietly. "I promise to come back. It’s not goodbye, just a ‘see ya later,’" I said, trying to convince myself as well as the others.
We all hugged, and I quietly asked George if he would drive me to the pub, so that I could tell Mary and Henry. He agreed.
The ride over was a quiet one. I could tell that he and Helen were sad to see me go, and I tried not to think about it as we rode in his old, maroon Lincoln town car. I’d been in this car a couple of times to run into town or to the pub. George always graciously offered to drive me anywhere I needed to go. I had Mary’s bag of clothes between my legs in the passenger seat. Soon George pulled up to the pub. I looked over at him, gave him another giant hug, and thanked him.
I grabbed the bag of clothes and headed in. The pub was a little busier now that it was officially evening. I checked my watch: 5:45 p.m. I walked in to the pub, searching for Mary. I spotted her canoodling with Henry behind the bar. Again, I was grateful they were together, so that I would only have to do this once.
"Lady, aren’t you sick of me yet?!" Mary yelled, coming over to hug me. She pulled back, looked at the bag of clothes, my red eyes, and my trembling lip. "Oh dear. Let’s go in the back," she said, taking my hand and leading me. Henry followed, sensing my distress. Mary pulled me into the office and Henry followed. They waited for me to talk.
"I have to leave," I said, crying at the same time. "Harry contacted a divorce attorney and I’m meeting with him on Monday. It’s better now than in a few weeks, when it’ll probably be even harder to leave," I reasoned. "I can’t keep pretending this is my life. I have things to deal with. I have responsibilities that I’ve been neglecting. My flight leaves at noon tomorrow," I said, not moving.
"We understand," said Mary quietly, coming over to hug me. Henry followed suit. I cried into their shoulders for a few seconds. "Just promise to come back, OK?" I nodded, weeping as they stroked my arm.
"We’ll miss you," Henry said, looking down at me. "But I think I know who is going to miss you most of all."
I nodded. The easy part was over now. I’d told Helen and the other workers, and now Mary and Henry knew. I felt sick thinking of telling Alec.
"Well, duh, if you don’t leave until tomorrow, we should throw you a party!" Mary exclaimed, before nudging Henry. "Yeah… I’ll call everyone at the Parc and we can have one last hurrah! I’ll have Helen shuttle everyone over, and it’ll be so much fun!"
I smiled.
"I would love nothing more. But I can’t. I need to tell Alec," I said.
"Tell Alec what?"
Alec came into the office, wearing a light blue button-up shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. He was carrying white lilies, my favorite flower. He’d slicked back his hair and shaved, revealing a chiseled, epically handsome face beneath the scruff. I liked the scruff, but this cleaned-up Alec was definitely just as swoon-worthy.
"Ummm…" This wasn't how I'd pictured telling him that I was about to break his heart. "I’m leaving back to Los Angeles tomorrow." There, I said it. The band-aid was peeled. Now I had to wait for the excruciating pain.
"We’re gonna go…" Mary whispered, before Henry pushed her out and closed the door behind them.
Alec hadn’t taken his eyes off of me since he'd walked in. I walked over to him and he dropped the lilies on the ground before turning to leave. I panicked.
"Alec, wait!" I grabbed his arm and he spun around, his eyes angry.
"So, you’re leaving? Why?"
"It’s complicated," I said, bending down to pick the lilies up off of the floor. "How did you know lilies were my favorite flower?"
"I didn’t. They just reminded me of you."
"Were you going to take me on a date tonight?" I asked meekly, afraid of the answer. I had ruined everything.
"Yes, I was. I’d gone to your room, but you weren’t there. Helen said you were here."
"Oh." I walked closer to him. "I’m sorry, Alec."
"What the hell, Charlotte? Last night, you were telling me you wanted to see where things went with us. I believe your exact words were that there was a reason for this," he said, gesturing to us, "and that you wanted to pursue that reason."
"Harry’s divorce attorney demanded that I fly home to deal with everything. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have a lot of shit to deal with, and better now then—"
"Then what?"
"In a few weeks, or months, when we’re—"
"What? Together? In love? For god’s sake Charlotte, I am already falling in love with you!" His voice broke on the word "love". I felt my heart rip in two. There it was, the excruciating pain. It was too much to bear.
He stood over me now, and his face melted. He covered his mouth and looked down. He was crying. I’d made Alec cry. I’d broken his heart. He was right. Gemma never broke his heart. Only I had the ability to do that. And here I was, doing it. His body shook, and I walked over to him, putting my arms around him. He opened up and embraced me in a deep, tight hug as he cried. I’d made this giant, hulking, strong, horse groom, cry.
"I’m in love with you, Alec." I whispered this and the instant I said it, I knew he felt the same way about me. We were in love. This was happening. And… I was leaving it all behind.
"Then, don’t go."
"I don’t ever want to leave," I said, pulling his head down for a long, slow kiss.
My knees got weak and I felt myself drawing closer to him. Our bodies molded together perfectly, and he grabbed my waist, pulling me all the way into him. I felt my hands pulling his hair, and his hands lifted me up and onto the desk, smoothly and quickly. I felt him push himself against me, kissing me all over. Before I lost control – and I knew I would – I pulled away.
"Take me back to the Parc," I whispered, energy filling my entire body. I wanted him, but I wanted all of him. I didn’t want to make love to him in a pub office.
He grabbed my hand, leading me to his truck. I made sure to take the lilies with me. I waved goodbye to Mary and Henry, who were waiting nervously at the end of the bar. I guessed they noticed the mood Alec and I were in, because they smiled and waved.
It was still warm out as we walked into the night. I could feel my cheeks flush as I looked over at him. He was paying attention to unlocking the truck. I bet he wasn't even nervous. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who got nervous. He helped me into the truck and then went around to the other side, getting in next to me. I didn't bother scooting away. In fact, I scooted in even closer this time, with my hand on his thigh.
We drove in complete silence, and yet I was almost buzzing. We both were. I could feel the tension building between us with every minute that passed. Before, I would've just been sitting next to Alec casually, like the day Bo ran away and Alec saved me. I had held on to him for four hours, but it hadn't felt like anything other than a horse guide giving one of his students a ride. I hadn't felt the electricity that I felt tonight. That was casual, platonic. Tonight felt... electric. It was my last night. I better make it worth it.
As we got closer, Alec took his left hand and placed it on my thigh, gently, casually. It felt like a bolt of electricity shooting up and down my legs, arms, torso... and other places... I shivered. He looked down at me and smiled, not saying anything. He was obviously enjoying the silence. Maybe he felt like he didn't need to make small talk because he was about to do dirty things to me in his bedroom. The thought of making love to Alec in his bedroom almost sent me over the edge. It was mysterious, he was mysterious, and I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to know him.
We pulled up to the Parc. The electricity grew stronger. I could feel every nerve ending in my body standing on edge. Alec got out and came around to my door. He opened it for me and held my hand as I stepped out. I tripped over the gravel and fell forward. He caught me in his arms. As if this night could be any more cliché. I stood there, in his arms, breathing heavily. He looked at me and the moment hung in the air. I felt my chest grow tight with anticipation; my breathing stopped.
"Just give me a minute," I said softly, as he lowered me back to the ground.
I went to my room. It was dark now. I slipped off my wedges and sat down on my bed. Last night was wonderful, I thought. Tonight was wonderful. If kissing Alec was any indication of what was about to happen… I got giddy just thinking about it. My heart started racing when I realized what I was about to do. I took my hair down from its ponytail, cinched the tied waist on my dress a little tighter, and changed into a sexier pair of underwear and my lacy, see-through bra. I did one final glance-over, swished some mouthwash, and left. I fluffed my hair a bit and stood there in front of Alec’s door for a minute. Suddenly, it opened.
"What took you so long?" He grabbed me and pulled me in, closing the door behind him.
***
I felt my body burn as he grabbed me tightly, holding me against his body as he kissed me. I felt every inch of my skin come alive, and we both breathed heavily as we backed clumsily into his room, connected at the mouth. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and every part of me was on fire. I gave in to him and let the kiss take us wherever it was going to go. I had no qualms about anything tonight. Tonight, I was his, and his alone.
The thought of him never having been in love made me kiss him even more passionately as I laced my fingers through his thick, dark, almost black hair. I felt one of his warm hands around my waist, pulling me in closer, and the other in my hair, guiding me. He’d never been in love before, and he chose me. He didn’t do this with other guests, ever, yet he chose me. I was married, and things were complicated, and still, he chose me. I felt my body get hotter and hotter the longer we kissed. I pulled away.
"I’m sorry," I whispered. I hoped he would understand what I meant by saying those words. Things were about to get even more complicated before I left tomorrow.
"It’s OK. You’re worth it." He pulled me in for another kiss, and I lost myself again against his body. I swayed as we moved back and forth, and I was pretty sure I couldn’t take this much longer. His kisses were getting more passionate by the second. He pulled away, slowly. "You’ll always be worth it," he whispered into my ear, making my whole body shiver with delight.
What did I want out of tonight? My body wanted it all… everything, maybe even more than once. My mind, however, wasn’t so sure. There was no turning back after this. I slowly backed away, taking in the atmosphere of the room. It was dark, lit only by his bedside lamp, which cast a reddish glow. His bed was made, and his white comforter looked so heavenly. His leather chair and bear skin rug added strong, masculine touches. There weren’t a lot of things on his dresser, just the picture of his mom, his wallet, and his watch. His bookshelf overflowed with books, just like last time, which was so sexy, I could barely contain myself. I pulled his curtains closed, smiling seductively as I did it.
He made a growling sound, and slowly walked over to me. I felt like I was going to pass out from sheer anticipation and longing. My below-the-belt region ached and I could tell that I was ready… down there. Just the sight of him made me squirm. I started breathing heavily as he walked closer, slowly, torturing me. I wanted to rip his clothes off. I felt such an animalistic urge to jump him. It was like little electrical currents were swarming all around us, heating me up and making me wet for him.
He stopped right in front of me, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. I did the same with the top button of my dress. He kept going, antagonizing me with his speed, and slowly, button by button, taking his shirt off. I felt the top part of my dress open, exposing my bra, therefore exposing my breasts because my bra was a lacy, see-through deal. I heard him groan slowly as he bent down and nibbled my nipple through the material. I felt my legs give out a little bit, seeing stars. If that sent me over the edge, I wasn’t sure if I could handle the real deal.
He slowly unfastened my bra, one clasp at a time, and threw it down on the floor. He pulled the rest of my dress off. I stepped out of my underwear as quickly as I could. I couldn’t wait a second longer. But he had other ideas. He backed away from me in all his shirtless glory, and slowly took his jeans off. He was wearing tight, black boxer briefs. I could see his penis bulging through his underwear, and for the second time, I thought I might faint. It stuck so far out it looked almost comical. Of course, Alec. Of course you’d be well-endowed. He removed his boxers and his erect penis sprung out, free at last. I was glad I wasn’t wearing underwear anymore. I would’ve soaked right through them.
I walked up to him, kissing him passionately. He grabbed my waist with both hands and threw me against the wall. I yelled in pleasure as he kissed my neck, my breasts, my chest, my stomach, and suddenly, slowly, down to my clitoris. I was in heaven. I felt my body start rocking the instant he started flicking his tongue back and forth, gently. I’d never had an orgasm before –I’d tried and tried with Harry, but succumbed to the notion that I was just one of the unlucky 10% who would never get to experience the life-altering pleasure all of my friends talked about. Within a minute, I was moaning uncontrollably, rocking my hips back and forth as he went deeper with his tongue, his fingers beginning to gently penetrate my vagina.
I felt the muscles deep down inside of me clench up, twisting around one another, and the pleasure was getting to be too much to bear. I was crying out loudly now, moaning in unison with each thrust of my hips. Alec had his fingers deep inside me now, turning the small waves of pleasure into tidal waves. I was sure my legs were going to give out at any second. It was the sweetest feeling I’d ever felt; his tongue on me. He went faster, feeling my climax start to begin.
Was I having an orgasm? I was sure of it. The pleasure mounted and came down slowly, in waves, first small, and then gigantic, as I cried out as loud as I possibly could. My body shook and heaved. I let out one final cry, probably too loudly for the sake of privacy, and everything around me started to vibrate. I was still climaxing. It was still going. I was being wracked with pleasure. Surely, I didn’t deserve this. This… this was too good. It was so good. It kept going, and I fell back, letting my
body lean against the wall as Alec held onto my hips, the last of it flicking through my entire abdomen, and finally, shooting down my legs.
Alec stood, his mouth a bit wet, and he growled, literally, growled, before taking me and throwing me onto the bed. I could tell he couldn’t resist it any longer. I could see it in his eyes. It was in my eyes as well. It was more than just lust. It was complete and total trust. It was understanding. I loved this man and he loved me. The notion made everything happening seem so much bigger, so much more significant than it should have been. I felt like we were rocking the entire earth. I felt like we were gods, tussling in heaven, or that we were just two souls, two kindred spirits, coming together. I now knew what the term earth shattering meant. I loved him. I loved him with my entire being.
I lay down slowly, watching him as he slowly climbed on top of me. He kissed me, not entering me, but moving up and down my body. I could feel everything. I wrapped my legs around him, letting his penis slide around for a bit, making him cry out. I was so wet by this point, it didn’t take much effort to guide him into me with my hips.
We both cried out as we slid up and down together, in perfect unison. It didn’t feel like the first time we were having sex. I felt like my body knew how to respond to his, and his knew how to respond to mine. It was like we were not only connected physically, but emotionally too. I could see it in his eyes as we looked at each other, climaxing simultaneously. This was making love. This was incredible. I wanted to do this forever and ever. He convulsed over and over, kissing my lips, my neck, my ears. He took my face in his hands, and kissed me slowly as we both shook.
The Foretelling (Charlotte Bloom #1) Page 20