by C. A. Harms
I watched it unfold and I couldn’t stop it. But fuck if the sad look on Lindsay’s face when she finally raised her head didn’t make me feel gutted.
“Excuse me,” she whispered before she escaped down the hall toward Camden’s room.
“What just happened?” my mother asked.
I didn’t want my mother upset but I had to make sure she understood something. “She made mistakes; we both did. But she never kept him from me. In fact she tried to reach me, multiple times. It was partially my fault too. But you can’t keep saying shit like you just said because she already feels guilty enough for the way things happened between her and me.”
“I didn’t mean that she kept him from you.” I knew she didn’t, but that was the way it sounded.
“Should I go apologize?” she asked.
“No,” I said as I handed Camden back to my mother. “I still owe her one from last night, so I’ll go.” When she gave me a questioning look, I nodded. “Yeah, it would appear that the both of us need to think before we speak. Must run in the family.”
Chapter 17
Lindsay
I had been a nervous wreck ever since the moment I opened the door and found Zack’s mother on the other side. I could tell almost immediately she had already formed an opinion about me and the type of girl I must be. She said no more than five words to me before she snatched Camden from my arms and then continued to go on and on about how she’d wished she’d been there from the beginning.
It was the way she said everything, like I had purposely kept Zack’s son from him.
I’d already been so close to a melt down before Zack got home, and when he held Camden while his mother continued to make her comments, I hit bottom. Escaping to the quiet room filled with the things Zack bought Camden was my first thought. But now that I was here, trapped, I felt like the walls were closing in on me.
“You okay?” I jumped in surprise and turned around to find Zack entering the room. He watched me with a concerned expression as he closed the distance between us.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured him. But I heard the doubt in my own voice so I was positive he knew I was lying.
When he stopped with his chest only inches from my face I remained frozen, staring at his jaw, unable to look him in the eyes.
“Look at me,” he said and I tilted my head just enough for my eyes to lock on his.
Zack’s hand came to rest on my hip and I held my breath for a moment. It was the first time he had touched me since we arrived at his place after he picked Camden and I up from the airport.
“She didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” he began. “But before we talk about that, I need to clear something else up with you.”
My heart was racing as I slowly exhaled the air I had been holding in my lungs since his hand connected with my hip.
“Last night when I told you that I wanted Camden here with me, I forgot to include another detail.” He stepped in a little closer and his chest pressed tightly against mine. He was at least six to eight inches taller than me, so he had to slouch to bring his face closer to mine.
The manly scent that I remembered loving so much that night we conceived our son filled my lungs, making it almost impossible to remain standing. He smelled amazing.
“I didn’t mean I only wanted him here,” he whispered. “I meant that I wanted both of you here. And before you think the only reason I want you here is because of our son, you can stop.”
I couldn’t speak, even if I wanted to.
“All those nights we stayed awake talking long after Camden fell asleep was time I got to know you.”
Our close proximity was making my head fuzzy.
“And during that time I found myself wanting to know you more,” he confessed. “I’ve allowed myself to think of what it would be like to have you here with me.” He moved closer and I could feel his breath on my lips. “In my arms, in my bed.”
My heart jumped at his statement.
“Had I met you for the first time a month ago, I can honestly say that you and I would be together. Before, in Alabama, the timing was just off.” He allowed his lips to graze over mine.
“I lied,” I whispered as a shiver ran over me from his contact.
“Yeah,” he said in response as he kissed the corner of my mouth. “But that’s in the past. Because had you not lied, I wouldn’t have my son, and sweetheart—he is the best gift I’ve ever received.”
Tears sprung to my eyes and I swallowed past the burning sensation that filled my throat.
“There is nothing stopping us from seeing where this takes us now,” he whispered against my lips and I allowed my body to relax as he softly kissed me. “I want the both of you, Lindsay, because both of you are my family now. Even if we decide that you and I can’t make it as couple, you’ll still be my family, because you’re the mother of my child.”
Another kiss, soft and gentle.
“But I’m gonna tell you, right here, right now, that I’m a determined man. I’m dedicated and I don’t give up.” He smiled against my lips.
He kissed me once more, and I may have whimpered when he carefully grazed his teeth over my lower lip.
“We’ll make it, Linds,” he assured me. “I know we will.”
I lifted my hands and fed them through the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He took this as his invitation and he pressed me back against the dresser next to the bed.
For a brief moment we were lost in our kiss, until a soft knock on the door reminded us we had a guest and child waiting just outside the bedroom door.
He rested his forehead to mine and his eyes remained closed for a moment, as if he was trying to calm himself. “Take a few minutes and then join us,” he said as he pulled back and left the room, leaving me breathless and possibly in shock from the way things just unfolded.
Had I expected any of what just happened? No.
But was my heart racing and my body humming from the connection? Oh yes it was, and for the first time in a long time I had hope that things were looking up for a change.
He called us his family.
***
After Zack’s speech, things changed. It didn’t help with the uneasy feelings I felt when near his mother, but it did make me feel a little stronger about Zack and me.
I stayed a little longer in Camden’s room as I called Taylor and basically revealed a step-by-step rerun of the last fifteen minutes.
The only thing she could do was laugh and tell me she knew it would happen. Somehow I didn’t doubt that. She was one of those girls who fantasized about happy endings and a deep connection with a special someone who was out there somewhere.
She was a romantic.
***
But now, here I lay on the floor of Camden’s room with the moonlight shining through the blinds and I couldn’t sleep.
Apparently the hotel had confused Rita’s reservation and put in tomorrow’s date for check-in. So without hesitation, she announced she would be having a sleepover with her grandson. The look on Zack’s face when he realized what she meant was priceless. I giggled then quickly covered it up with a cough. Not my most classy move, but it seemed to work.
So what did I do? I offered the bed to his mother and took the air mattress on Camden’s floor. Even though Zack insisted I take the couch, I assured him the air mattress was fine.
But I couldn’t sleep, and it honestly had nothing to do with comfort and everything to do with the man who was just outside that door; the door I had been watching like a hawk as if somehow, some way, he could feel my thoughts.
The silence was filled with the occasional grunt that came from my son, but nothing more.
My mind wouldn’t stop.
I finally decided I couldn’t remain there tucked away in the bedroom without hearing that he meant what he said earlier. I had convinced myself it was some form of guilt he felt for the way things happened, and he somehow felt pressured to say it.
I knew it was m
y own insecurities that made me feel that way, because Zack wasn’t the type of guy to say things he didn’t mean.
I just wanted to hear it again, so I knew I hadn’t dreamt it.
I carefully and quietly moved off the mattress and walked toward the bedroom door. Once I was there I started to have those second thoughts I was infamous for, but pushed past them and opened the door before I could talk myself out of it.
There, on the couch sat Zack with his head tilted back against the cushions, his legs sprawled out before him. The only thing he wore was a pair of shorts.
He lifted his head and looked at me, and in that moment I made a decision. I closed the door softly behind me and made my way toward him. I didn’t stop to think through my actions; I only let my body say what I needed to say as I crawled over his lap and straddled his legs.
His hands immediately settled on my hips as he squeezed them and pulled my closer.
“Tell me you meant it,” I whispered.
“Every word.” He had to have been sitting out here feeling some of the same things I was. He looked wide awake as he stared back at me. “I want it all,” he added, just as I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.
Zack turned me in his arms and brought me to rest on the couch as he moved his body over mine. He slowly taunted me with teasing kisses as he pushed against me and rocked just enough to make me whimper.
He covered my mouth with his; I was sure it was an effort to cover my moan. My body was well aware of every touch as he felt along my hip before moving toward my side.
The moment his hand covered my breast and his fingers pinched my nipple I thrust my hips forward, almost without control, and he rocked his own hips just enough to alert me of his own arousal.
He kissed along my neck and back up again and my body shook beneath his. “Can you be quiet?” he asked as he kissed my jaw. “Or do we need to wait until we’re alone?”
“I can be quiet,” I replied and he smiled knowingly.
There was absolutely no way I would stay quiet.
***
I woke feeling frustrated.
After making out like teenagers on the couch for close to an hour, we both admitted defeat. There was no way either of us could remain quiet had we taken things any further.
The last thing we wanted was for his mother to find us on the couch like a couple of horny and depraved sex-crazed fools.
Now I stood in the kitchen, my body still fully alert of the sexy man who stood only a few feet away, watching me as if at any moment he would pounce and devour me. I figured out fast that he was doing it on purpose, obviously loving the reaction I had to that smoldering look he gave.
Arrogant ass needed to let up on me in the presence of his mother, for Pete’s sake. He wasn’t playing fair.
Rita was standing at the stove, making what looked like eggs and pancakes as Zack stood at her side. He was still shirtless, and instantly I grew heated as I remembered only hours ago kissing along his collarbone and making him moan.
Camden held a piece of soggy cookie in his hand while Zack held him close. It didn’t seem to matter that his son’s slobber ran down his arm. It only made him that much more sensual. I loved seeing them together; nothing was sexier in my eyes.
“How do you like your eggs, Lindsay?” I was pulled away from my hot daddy fantasy by Rita’s question.
Of course, by the smirk on Zack’s face, he had caught me staring.
“I’m actually okay with scrambled or fried.” I tried to keep myself from looking back at Zack and focused on the back of Rita’s head instead.
I could see him moving toward me from the corner of my eye and my pulse spiked.
“You wanna take him while I go shower?” I looked up at him just as Camden reached out and touched the side of my cheek. Cookie smeared along my jaw and then he squealed, kicking his legs.
Zack chuckled and passed him to me as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled back, I looked over at his mom and found she had not even looked in our direction.
I wasn’t sure how she would feel about Zack and me actually being together, together.
He looked over his shoulder and then back at me, holding my gaze for a moment. I saw the moment recognition flashed over his face.
“Hey, Mom?” he said without looking back at her. It was solely to gain her attention and I now knew that.
“Yes?”
“I’m gonna go jump in the shower. Keep my eggs warm for me,” he added just before pressing his lips to mine once more, only this time it was not just a simple kiss.
I didn’t look up as he walked away. I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I imagined what his mother thought. I was sure she disliked me.
“They’re cavemen.”
It was a simple statement and I looked up to find Rita smiling brightly.
“Zack, his brother Quinton, and even their father was,” she said before turning back to the stove.
I grabbed the baby wipes from the counter and began cleaning Camden because I felt like I needed to do something.
“I know you and I got off on the wrong foot, and I should apologize for that.” I suddenly grew irritated with Zack for leaving us alone. I was not a confrontational person; in fact I hated that uneasy feeling I got whenever things went out of the norm.
“It’s okay, really,” I told her, and I continued to wipe at Camden even though the current spot I was attempting to clean had already been taken care of.
“No, it’s not okay,” she said as she placed the spatula on the plate and flipped off the stove. When she turned around she looked directly at me and I had no other choice but to wait for her to continue.
“I’ll admit, when Zack told me about the way things happened when you two first met, I was a little irritated that you lied to him.” I felt my stomach tense at the memory of the look of betrayal on his face the morning he’d found out. “But something you don’t know is I met my husband when I was still in high school. He, of course, had already joined the Navy. The story was much like you and Zack.”
She grabbed a towel and began wiping her hands clean. It appeared she, too, needed something to occupy her hands. “Ed was four-and-a-half years older than me, which made our relationship impossible. Sound familiar?”
“Only you didn’t lie,” I said, feeling ashamed once again.
“No, sweetheart, I didn’t, but you can’t change that. I know that due to certain circumstances and a specific spoiled rich bitch…” I smiled when she referred to Haven in an ill manner. “The two of you were unable to reach one another, and in turn you were unable to notify Zack of Camden. That was unfair, but I don’t for a second blame you for the time he lost with Camden. I know I came across that way yesterday, but it was never my intention.”
I nodded because I suddenly had no idea how to respond.
“Nothing would make me happier than to see you and Zack together, because Camden deserves a life like that. It no longer matters how things fell apart or how they even came back together. What matters is that you two now have the chance to make it work.” She reached out and pulled both Camden and me into a hug, and I was a little surprised. “The life of a SEAL’s wife is never easy. But I think you’ve got it in you to make it work.”
Wife?
We hadn’t even established what we were yet, but we were nowhere near that title.
Chapter 18
Zack
I wasn’t sure what happened between Lindsay and my mom while I was in the shower, but I could sense a difference the moment I joined them only fifteen minutes later.
They were both laughing and smiling, which carried through to our current moment.
We gathered up Camden and all four of us went on recon for our first Christmas tree. My place wasn’t that big, so I knew it couldn’t be anything extravagant, but I wanted a tree. The presents I had hidden in the back of my closet for weeks needed a tree to be displayed beneath.
The ladies decided on an artificial tree that
couldn’t have been more than four feet tall, but me and my little man refused to budge. When a Terrance man made up his mind on something, there was no changing that shit.
We left the store with a six foot tree and a shit ton of decorations.
It may have been artificial and I could live with that, but in no way was I settling for some Charlie Brown tree on my son’s first Christmas.
After we got back to the apartment and carried up every last box, I started separating the branches and assembling our tree. I refused to admit the women may have been right in this scenario. I just kept smiling and humming along.
But I silently told myself that next year I may need to get a bigger place so the tree fit better.
***
My mother ended up having dinner with us again, but afterwards she retreated to her hotel and allowed me some time alone with my little family.
Camden lay on the floor on his stomach as he chewed on a toy he held in his hands. I lay beside him, making sure he always had a toy near once the one in his hands would get lost.
But during those times when he was fully occupied, I took the chance to observe the gorgeous blonde on my couch.
Lindsay had her hair piled on top of her head, wearing a pair of baggy pajama pants and a tight fitting shirt that did nothing to hide her full breasts.
She was completed engrossed in some mushy Lifetime show that was playing, not paying attention to much of anything else. I was slowly figuring out that I found just about anything she did appealing. She was so fucking innocent and sweet.
I grew angry every time I thought about how I let Haven convince me otherwise.
Camden let out a loud squeal gaining my attention and I rolled back over to face him. “I got it,” I assured him as I grabbed his little dinosaur that squeaked when you pinched its tail. He didn’t give a shit about what noise it made; he only wanted something in his mouth.
My son also loved the twinkle of all the Christmas lights that flashed through the living room. He was gnawing away on the dinosaur as his eyes settled on the tree before us. I hadn’t yet brought out the gifts from the closet but I would, maybe on Christmas morning.