“When I went to the studio everything was cool. Jai was there prepared to play the final product for me, but Cree was late. Jai already had the music ready to go, but when Cree ran up he was like yo’ hold up. We gave him our attention and shit. He looked at Jai and was like man, I found this CD in your lab and shit. He calls Jai’s studio at his crib his lab. Jai looked surprised and shit. Cree was late because he had left the key to Samara’s Audi in the studio and shit. He had to pick it up and take it to her ‘cause she had to take that shit to the shop. Anyway, he said he saw that the shit had Rah Lyric’s final production written on it. So, he wondered what the difference was and he listened to it. He thought maybe that nigga had done some mixes on his own and shit that he didn’t know about. Jai was looking all crazy in the face while Cree was explaining this shit. So, I’m sitting there looking like, okay, what the fuck is up. Next thing I know Jai is trying to talk Cree out of playing that shit for me. Jai was like, nol Cree, that shit ain’t nothing. I was just playing around with some stuff. Cree was like for real man, stop playing. He put the CD in, pressed some buttons and one of my cuts was going off. Right after it ended I hear that shit that was recorded when we got it on in the studio that day. I’m sitting there getting heated as hell. Cree stopped it and asked Jai if he was going to go behind our backs and give that shit to Ruckus as my final album. That nigga was going to put that fucking shit on there any fucking way. It was a good thing Cree had stopped by Jai’s crib. His wife had let him in. I was mad as fuck. I grabbed Jai by his throat and threw his ass clean across the fucking room. You should’ve seen that nigga’s face. After that I tore into his ass.” Rah lit a cigarette and kept talking. I had never seen him smoke a cigarette before, but I didn’t say anything. He probably needed it, but I hoped it wasn’t a damn habit.
“I wanted to kill that nigga, but Cree pulled me off his ass. I was on the way to the crib when the cops pulled me over and arrested me. Shit, I already told my lawyer that I want out of the fucking contract. I have enough money to buy myself out. Cree is still cool with me. We goin’ keep the club goin’, but I ain’t fuckin’ with that nigga Jai. I choked his ass out and everything.” He laughed and threw the cigarette out of the window.
“Where’s your car?” I asked.
“Chang picked it up.”
“So, what now? What are you charged with?”
“Assault, but I’m not worried about it. My lawyer’s handing it. I don’t even want a rap career anymore baby. Maybe I’ll just go back to school and get my damn degree. You might’ve been right about that fame shit.” He looked over and smiled at me. “Thanks mami.”
I smiled back at my baby. “I got you sexy,” I said playfully. Shit, I was actually glad that he wanted to give that shit up.
He gave me a serious look. “My ride or die.”
“All day baby.” I quickly kissed his cheek and then focused back on the road.
Chapter 21
Seandra
I missed being on the set of Cinnamon Star like crazy, but I had to stand my ground. It was true that I should not have let Ahmad’s crazy ass decision to lose me make me lose my mind. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being taunted by his presence all of the time. It was just too fresh to face him.
The gossip magazines and websites were having a field day with the story and it wasn’t stopping anytime soon. The media swore up and down that although we’d never confirmed our relationship, my walking out on the show proved that it was officially over. Okay, so they were right, but I was still maintaining that there was never a relationship.
So far I had received a few offers for movie roles, but there was nothing that had grabbed at me. Yesterday, I had got a call from my agent Priscilla. She put me in touch with Carlton Spann, who was an up and coming movie director. His debut to the big screen had gone to number one for five weekends in a row. He was black and he was the new “it” man in the movie world. I didn’t have the script yet, but I was hoping that something would come out of it. For one I didn’t want what I did to be career suicide. I still loved to act, but I wasn’t doing anything.
The sound of the doorbell caused me to wonder who could possibly be at my house. I wasn’t expecting company and nobody had called. When I looked through the peephole I almost didn’t open the door, but I did. The look on my face made him start explaining immediately.
“I didn’t mean to pop up on you, but we need to talk,” Ahmad said.
“I don’t have anything to say to you Ahmad okay. If it’s about returning to the show the answer is hell no. I don’t give a fuck how bad the ratings are now. Good for you and…”
“Can I please come in and talk to you. It is not about the damn show.” The stern look on his face made me step aside without saying a word.
He walked pass me and just stood there. When I turned to face him, he grabbed my face and kissed me out of the blue. At first I fought it, but damn…it felt so good to kiss him again. Then I thought about it and pushed him away.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I was panting like a dehydrated dog and he was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me again.
“I love you Seandra,” he said as he walked closer to me.
“I backed away. No Ahmad. You can’t keep doing this shit to me okay. One minute you love and want me and the next you have to go rescue your wife.” I shook my head. “I can’t do this back and forth shit with you. I love you, but I won’t be stupid for you…”
He put his finger to my lips. “Shhh baby. I know about what she did to you. She kept repeating that the spell must’ve been reversed because she is feeling everything that you were supposed to experience. I remembered Kristie mentioning something to me about doing something like that to my ex-girlfriend before her. I kind of laughed it off, but not long after that my ex got really ill all of a sudden. She had almost died and Kristie seemed very indifferent about it. Over the years she would make remarks about doing the same thing to any bitch who tried to take me from her. Eventually I didn’t hear her talk of those things anymore and I never really believed in it. Then I thought about your trip to New Orleans and your vague answers for why you were there. I remember how strange you were acting when you first saw me. Now it all makes sense. I got Kristie committed a week ago for attacking me with a pair of scissors. I had to get fourteen stiches in my side. Even before then I knew that I couldn’t be with her. I thought it was the right thing, but now I realize that my ex-wife is not who I thought she was. I filed for divorce without her signature because being that she’s not mentally competent I don’t need it. It should be final really soon baby. Where’s the ring I gave you?” He asked as if things between us were going to just start back from where we left off.
“I donated it to a charity auction a few weeks ago,” I said as I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders.
“You didn’t,” he said with a hurt look on his face.
I hadn’t, but I didn’t let up. “I did and what makes you think I give a shit about your divorce, or the so called love that you claim you have for me?”
“You do. I can see it in your eyes.” He approached me and I backed away from him.
“Please, give me three feet.” I put my hand out and he stopped.
“Don’t treat me like a stranger.” He looked hurt.
“What about how you treated me?”
He maintained eye contact with me. “Why didn’t you tell me about what happened? You kept that shit from me. You let me return to a woman who I thought was suffering because of what I had done. What if she had succeeded in killing me and I had no idea that she had done something like that to you?”
“Please, spare me the bullshit ass guilt trip asshole. Why the fuck didn’t you know your own fucking wife? You should have paid attention to the warning signs of crazy, because I am sure they were there. I didn’t have to tell you shit. You were weak enough to marry a bitch who claimed she put a curse on your ex. Even if you didn’t believe in it you should have known that the bitch was fu
cking cuckoo as hell. It’s your own fault that you were with that crazy ass bitch. Not mine!”
He nodded his head in agreement. “Okay, you’re right to a certain degree, but I have a point too. Love is blind as hell and I did love her. Now I am in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you. You can see that I am a good man Seandra. Shit, I never cheated on my wife. When we got together our relationship was already over. You can already see that I would do anything for the woman who has my last name. You saw that I was willing to sacrifice us simply because Kristie was still my wife. I believe in the sanctity of marriage Seandra. Soon she will no longer be my wife and I want to marry you one day. I want you to know that I will cherish you and be there for you through it all until death separates us. You are the one baby and she never was. Please say that you will at least give me another chance. Please baby. I’m begging you to take me back. I love you so much.”
I simply sighed during my moment of weakness. As I begged for the strength to tell him no, nothing came out of my mouth. Tears did fill my eyes and betrayed me by falling down my face. My attempt at being strong crumbled right there in front of him. He rushed over to me and took me into my arms.
“I’m so sorry for what I did to you Seandra. I never meant to hurt you and I promise that if you let me back in your life I will never, ever hurt you again. I will use every moment of our lives together making you the happiest woman who ever walked this earth. I fucking mean that shit baby.” He held on to me and I didn’t want to ever let him go, but I knew that for my own sanity I had to.
“I can’t Ahmad. As much as I want to… I can’t. You hurt me and I can’t go there with you. I don’t trust you with my heart. You crushed it once and you’ll crush it again. My poor heart can’t take anymore trauma.” I wiped my tears away as I pulled away from him. “Please leave, now. I’m begging you,” I said sarcastically.
The look he gave me was a mixture of disbelief, hurt and agony. He was feeling that shit and at the moment all I wanted was for him to hurt. I needed him to know how it felt to think that the person you love does not give a damn about you. My heart felt not one ounce of pity for him. Yeah, he was a good man. Shit, he was a damn good man, but he was a good man who had hurt me just like the rest of them had
“Really baby?” He asked. “You want me to leave?”
“Did I stutter?” I opened the door and waited. “Bye.”
He walked out and shook his head. “I apologized Seandra. Don’t do this baby? I swear, I never meant to hurt you in any way.”
“But you did hurt me. After you knew what I had just gone through, you still hurt me Ahmad. I can’t even explain in words what I felt. If you wanted to be there for your wife that was fine with me, but you didn’t have to turn your back on me like that. Not when you initiated everything that happened between us. I was stupid so many times before you and you just happen to be the one right after I got smart. I guess your timing was off. Right before you, I promised myself that I would never be another man’s fool. I will never come second to any bitch. I’m the queen bitch and that’s just how it is. You made your choice and you have to live with it. If I chose to be with you right now, I wouldn’t be able to live with that. I’m sorry too Ahmad. Goodbye.” I closed the door in his face and busted into tears. I didn’t mean any of that shit I had just said. My heart felt like a million daggers were stabbing me and I couldn’t breathe. It was like my heart had been broken all over again.
So, you may wonder why I did it. Shit, I don’t even know. All I knew was I couldn’t risk having my heart ripped out of my chest again. As good as he seemed to be, I just couldn’t trust him. Not being in a relationship would be safe. If I was single I didn’t have to worry about the hurt that came with love. Love was too fucking complicated. From that moment on I would have tunnel vision. I was going to thrust myself into my acting career full force. I was going to take the world by storm and I didn’t need Ahmad or any other man to do it. If I believed that shit, why the hell was I still crying my fucking eyes out?
Chapter 22
Seantay
Two months later
I sat in the back of the court room in full disguise. I had to see it for myself on the day that Elise and LaTisha testified in Dean’s rape trial. It was crazy that nobody seemed to recognize me in my state of incognito. Of course there were reporters on the steps of the courthouse, but I whizzed right past them. I was thinking about keeping the disguise for when I needed to elude the paparazzi.
The curly wig that I was rocking was big as hell and I was wearing huge shades to cover most of my facial features. My usual hot designer wear was replaced by a frumpy flower print dress that went way past my knees. None of my sexy assets were even flattered at the least. I had no makeup on and no intention of letting anyone know who I was. If the trial had been televised I wouldn’t have gone to that extent, but I just had to be there to see for myself. I had avoided the entire trial until then, but curiosity and anger made me desperate. I had to see my enemy go down.
LaTisha took the stand first.
“Please state your name for the court,” the defense lawyer Michael Crane said with a serious look on his stern, olive colored face. He was Italian American and a hard ass when it came to his profession. As one of Miami’s toughest defense lawyers, he won 99 percent of his cases.
“LaTisha Dunham,” she said firmly. Her face was free of bruises and she looked like she was about business.
“So, LaTisha, what is your relationship with the defendant?” He asked as he paced the floor in front of her.
“He’s my ex-boyfriend,” she stated.
“So, you and Dean Monross dated? Is that right?”
“Yes sir.”
“Exclusively?” He asked before pursing his thin lips together.
“That’s what I thought. I found out that he wasn’t being exclusive to me,” she said looking Dean’s attorney square in the eye.
“Ok, so why did the two of you break up?”
“Because he was unfaithful as well as mentally and physically abusive and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
The room was quiet and all eyes were on LaTisha and Michael. She watched as he prepared to ask his next question.
“Did you report the alleged abuse?” He asked.
“Yes, I did actually. I had a friend take pictures and all. He didn’t know about the police report. I actually begged them to keep it quiet because we are both public figures and I didn’t want the media all in our business. They never made an arrest because I was stupid enough to not press charges. I just wanted it on record, just in case…you know?” She got all teary eyed, but she wiped the tears away before they could fall.
“I see,” he said before falling silent for a few seconds. “I guess your career was more important than you safety huh?”
“I don’t know if it was really my career I cared about. I love Dean despite what he did to me, so I didn’t want him to…lose everything he had worked so hard for. The whole point of the police report was to make me feel like if he did it again I had something to prove that he had done it before. It was the first time I had reported the abuse, but he had hit me plenty of times.” When the tears fell that time she didn’t wipe them away.
“So why did you stay with him? Was it because you were part of a failing female group and you needed the publicity? Are there any witnesses to corroborate you stories of abuse? And how about your relationship with Jamar Adams? He’s the new R&B sensation now. Maybe he would actually advance your suffering career…!”
“Objection your honor!” The prosecution lawyer, Victor Lewis said as he stood up on his feet. He was tall with milk chocolate skin and resembled Denzel Washington. As I watched him I thought about the movie “Philadelphia”. Damn, he was sexy as hell. “The subject of questioning is out of line and does not pertain to the case.”
“Sustained,” Judge McFadden, who was a fifty something year old black woman said. She was firm and didn’t play any ga
mes. Courtroom drama was not her forte and she didn’t stand for it. “There will not be any sensationalism in this case sir. Thank you.”
The defense rested.
“So, LaTisha, would you say that Dean was a good boyfriend until the alleged abuse started?” Victor asked.
“Yeah, he was, but it was always one thing that stood out to me even then,” she said with a terrified look on her face. As she glanced at Dean, she visibly cringed.
“What was that?” Victor asked. He wasn’t pacing like the defense lawyer was. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be a lot more calm and collected.
“His sexual appetite was always on overdrive. When I didn’t want to have sex he would start a full-fledged argument. It was like he wanted it morning, noon and night, twenty four seven. I even asked him if he was addicted to sex and he got so angry. Next thing I knew, he pinned me down to the bed and…forced me to have sex with him.” She broke down into tears. “I know that you’re going to ask me why I stayed with him.” Her eyes were intense as she stared at the lawyer who was questioning her. “I stayed because I was afraid not to.”
“That is all,” Victor said as he made his way to his seat behind the prosecution’s table.
After a short and much needed recess, court convened. Next, Elisa was called to the stand. She was a beautiful, dark skinned beauty with smooth skin and delicate features. She had a slim nose, nice, full lips, almond shaped eyes with long, thick lashes and a prominent forehead. She really reminded me of the Somalian supermodel Iman. My heart went out to her as she sat down in the leather, high back seat.
After she was sworn in the defense questioned her first. “Please state your name for the court.”
“My name is Elisa Janay Williams.”
“Tell me about how you met the defendant Dean Monross.”
She cleared her throat and I could tell that she was nervous. “He sent me a message on Facebook about five months ago telling me how beautiful I am. I am an aspiring model and he promised to let me model for his line.”
Black Magic: Book 3 of The Black Butterfly Series Page 13