by Lisa Logue
“So where do I need to be?”
“The bed is fine. It’s best that you are comfortable anyway,” he motioned to it and I slowly obliged. I was so nervous my palms were sweaty.
“Is there anything else I need to do?”
“No, just lay back and take a few deep breaths. There’s no need to be nervous. You can listen to music if you’d like.”
“That’s okay. I think I’ll be alright once you get started. Can I close my eyes?” I answered shakily.
“That’s fine. Like I said, just try to relax. This shouldn’t take long,” he patted my shoulder lightly. The warmth from his touch eased the jitters and I stopped shaking.
I watched the light of the candles flicker on the ceiling. Coupled with Austin’s warmth it was rather soothing. My breathing slowed and I settled in more comfortably, listening to his muttering. I was tempted to ask what he was saying, but didn’t want to break his concentration. I closed my eyes instead and zoned into the words. They were in some language I wasn’t familiar with, but my lips moved without provocation. My body reacted. I felt heavier than almost as quickly like I was floating. It was uncomfortable, but not unpleasant.
Suddenly, I was splitting in two. I tried to pull out of the trance, but my mind succumbed to the spell. Energy poured through internal barriers and my stomach lurched. An eerie coldness blanketed me. I shivered and fought the urge to vomit. Austin placed his hand on my forehead, filling me with warmth, pushing away the bad energy. Faces flashed through my mind in rapid succession; my parents, Dallas, Nana and Pops, Leslie, and lastly Christian. Events of my life flashed between them, showing the last good memories, the most painful, and the deepest desires. The flood gates opened to waves of emotion I didn’t know existed. Inside my head I was screaming, reeling from the fear and anxiety. My body convulsed as the last of the nausea subsided. Finally, I was whole again.
I felt different, but not entirely. It was odd to feel the energy churning inside me, waiting to be set free. It seemed to radiate from my core, similar to the sun. Like thunder rolling through my body, leaving tiny vibrations in its wake. No longer was the energy simply a part of me, it was a completely different force confined by my skin.
Austin removed his hand and I breathed deeply. The thunder rolled on, reminding me it was there, but it was subtle. My eyes fluttered open to see his face over mine. He studied me with a strange expression. I opened my mouth to speak and his hand few to my lips. His movement was so abrupt I couldn’t help the shock as I recoiled from his touch. He slammed backward against the wall with a huff and I gasped.
“Are you okay? Oh damnit, I’m sorry. I told you I didn’t want to do this,” I scrambled to help him up.
“No, no it’s good. I’ll just have to be more careful. I didn’t expect it to manifest so quickly. Ow,” he rubbed his neck and the guilt set in.
“Well, next time warn me or something. I don’t want to hurt you,” I chewed my lip.
“You won’t hurt me, Lia. Don’t worry about it. You need to be free of your inhibitions. I know other exercises that could help with that,” he smirked.
“Not funny,” I narrowed my eyes but he just chuckled.
“I’m going to leave my journal with you over the next few days. This contains everything we’ve talked about and much, much more. It should cover a lot of questions, but of course you can always ask if you need clarification. We’ll begin training this weekend. You should be settled by then. In the meantime, I want you to work on centering yourself. There’s a section about it in the journal. I’ve marked it for you, plus several others,” he handed the heavy book to me, brushing my fingertips. I averted his gaze and scooted further away.
“Thank you. I’m sorry again,” I added as he stood.
“I’m fine, but thank you. Remember, once our training starts, it’ll be less friendly between us. You may not even see me in the evenings. I will have to prepare myself for working with your energy which seems rather strong. Try to get some rest,” he nodded and left the room. The door closed with a click and I settled in with the journal.
CHAPTER 26
Christian
“Did you learn anything?” I asked once he emerged from her room.
“Yeah, she’s easily startled,” he rubbed his neck. My eyebrows rose in question.
“Did she hurt you?”
“Not intentionally. I tried to stop her from stirring too quickly, but I guess I moved too fast. She almost threw me through the wall,” I laughed lightly.
“Sounds interesting. Anything else?”
“She’s much more powerful than we thought. Her lineage must lead back to an original line. There’s no other way for her to have so much power. Usually cross breeding dilutes the bloodlines. This is going to be difficult,” he poured himself a drink.
“What is the extent to her abilities? Or were you not able to tell yet?” I grabbed a glass for myself.
“From what I can tell, there isn’t a line. She doesn’t seem to possess the limitations many of us do. It is very strange, but also promising. This means her sorcery might allow for us to subdue the changes to a degree.”
“That is promising. What’s your plan?”
“First, I need to figure out what exactly I’m dealing with. I’m still not sure if she possesses witchcraft or something else entirely. After that, I have to play it by ear. The problem is that we just don’t know enough. Have you talked to anyone in her family?”
“No, after I glimpsed Josiah murdering her parents my investigation was cut short,” I set my glass down with a thud and put my head in my hands. It hurt so much to keep away from her, but I didn’t know how else to keep her alive.
“Christian, are you sure you want to do this? It won’t be easy for any of us. By the end of this you will probably hate me, you realize that don’t you?”
“I couldn’t hate you any more than I hate myself, my friend. We need to do whatever we can to fix this. She has no idea what any of this means and I couldn’t live with myself if he got to her. She deserves a chance.”
“Alright, well I suppose we need to keep digging. I’ll make some calls.”
I nodded as he left. Later, I found myself outside her door again, thinking how desperately I wanted her. I lifted my hand several times to knock, but thought better. There was no need to confuse things further, but something inside me just couldn’t let her go. She was so close I could feel her everywhere. Even when I promised to stay away, she drew me in.
“Why are you standing there?” she said through the door.
“How did you know I was here?”
“Stop answering my questions with a question. I can feel you. Your energy is stronger now, which I guess is bad for you. What do you want?”
“That’s a loaded question,” I barely whispered. She wretched the door open and glared at me.
“It’s only loaded because you make it that way,” she clutched a towel around herself and I smelled the sweetness of her skin. It took all of me not to touch her.
“Well it’s difficult to answer,” my eyes drifted over her face. She looked angry, but I felt otherwise.
“What do you want?!” she huffed looking utterly adorable. I couldn’t help but to smile. She continued to glare at me with such intensity I had to catch my breath. She sucked me in.
Lia
“Well?” he just stood there, staring at me with an odd expression.
“We’ll leave in the morning to get more of your things. I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” he said softly.
“You didn’t interrupt me. But that also doesn’t explain why you’ve been standing outside my door for ten minutes. I don’t know why you’re still lying to me,” I tried to shut the door, but he stopped it, forcing himself through the narrow opening. He stood there looking as if he was arguing with himself.
“I’m not lying to you. If I thought you knew more information about your parents and your family I would have asked you in the beginning. I know I’ve betrayed your trust
and I’m sorry. I also want you to know that no matter the consequences, I will do whatever I can to make sure The Council knows you are innocent in this,” he kept himself pressed against the door looking at me with those piercing green eyes.
“Thank you. If I get dressed are you going to leave?” he shook his head and I hurried to the bathroom.
When I came out he was sitting on the bed, flipping through the journal. I watched him for a while, contemplating how so many things could change in a few short weeks. Something so innocent and carefree turned into a huge cluster fuck. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I so desperately wanted things to work. Running away screaming wasn’t an option anymore. He was the only thing that kept me there.
“You know it’s rude to stare,” he smirked.
“Practice what you preach. I’ve marked the entries that don’t make sense to me. Some of this stuff just seems so bizarre,” I stood behind him and flipped a few pages.
“It’s only bizarre because you’re new at this. A lot of what happens in your world either is or has been influenced by mine. Sometimes for good, others for bad, but it makes sense that you’d be confused.”
“What are these pictures? I know it says werewolf, vampire and human underneath but they’re just circles. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing.”
“It’s the difference in the blood. The werewolf blood will have that jagged look because it’s actually an infection, attacking your blood cells and mutating them. The vampire cells are larger, but also stagnant. Our blood doesn’t pump as a human’s does. The reason we drink blood is to force the old blood out. The human cell is substantially smaller, more rounded,” he explained, pointing to each one.
“So being a werewolf is an infection? I thought it was something that people can be born with?”
“Regardless of how it’s contracted, the cells will look the same. Think of it as someone who is born with a genetic disease. That disease may or may not be passed down, but when it is the result is the same. For someone born with the werewolf gene, their blood will look the same. They are still being affected by the disease, but it is more pure. Someone who is bitten will have a mixture between human and werewolf cells for a while until the virus eventually takes over. That’s why people who are bitten can only turn during the full moon for a long time,” he explained.
“So if I were to turn, it would only happen during a full moon like in fairytales?”
“I’m not sure. Since you’re bloodline is diluted by your mother it would be hard to tell. What I do know is that you’re the first to be born from a hybrid. That leaves another string of questions unanswered. I’m hoping we don’t have to find out,” I stiffened at his obvious disgust. I snatched the journal away, throwing it on the bedside table.
“What’s your problem?” I asked harshly.
“With what exactly? Your life being taken from you because of something you didn’t know existed?”
“No, the possibility of me turning into something other than myself. This whole time, I’ve been trying to figure out how you could be so disgusted with what I am, yet I am willing to accept you just the way you are. That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“I don’t have a problem with that, Lia. The problem that I have is not what you are it’s what you could become if we were together. Did you not pay attention when Austin told you about the hybrids?”
“Yes, but he also explained that the only way that I could become a hybrid is if I was in the process of changing. If I haven’t changed why are you pushing me away?” I had to force myself to take deep breaths. My hands were clenched at my sides, fighting back the wave of thunder.
“The fact is, we don’t know if the same rules apply to you. You have amazing abilities that neither of us has ever seen as well as a triggered werewolf gene. Everything could be completely different with you.”
“What if it isn’t?”
“But what if it is? I don’t care what you are, Lia. I’m trying not to sign your death warrant,” he crossed the room to me, placing his hands on top on my fists. The jolt of electricity was borderline painful and I couldn’t help but wince.
“What did he do to you?” Christian’s eyes searched my face.
“He made it so I wouldn’t be afraid anymore, but things I felt before are much stronger now. I feel stronger too, but also terrified. I don’t know how to do this, Christian. I don’t like feeling this way and I don’t like admitting it. I’m broken. I don’t know how to be whole,” he wiped a tear from my cheek, leaving a trail of crackling current behind. The longer it lingered, the better it felt.
“You aren’t broken. You’re just lost. I won’t let you give up, no matter what you believe. Just because I can’t be with you doesn’t mean I can’t be by your side”
“But it does. You cannot tell me that you don’t notice how I feel when I see or think about you. Being at my side will only make it worse for you. I will accept your help with getting me to The Council, but I have to do that alone.”
“I can’t let you go alone, Lia. There’s too much about this that you don’t know, too many facts to cram into your head in a few weeks. It’s suicide to go alone.”
“If that means the rest of you are safe, it’s a chance I have to take,” he stared deep into my eyes; into my soul. The words didn’t seem to be enough for him.
“No. I’m going. End of conversation,” he looked away, seething with anger.
“No, you aren’t,” I turned away and braced my hands on the bed, trying desperately not to black out.
“I told you I would see this through and I will. You are the most stubborn, selfish…” I whirled on him.
“Selfish? Selfish? Stubborn I get, but selfish? Have you not been paying attention to the self sacrificing comments I’ve been making since we’ve met? Have you been completely blind?! You’re the selfish one, Casanova! You don’t want me but you’ll keep me at arm’s length ‘just in case’. I have to live everyday knowing that the tiniest bit of happiness I’d known in years completely crumbled out of fear. The kicker is that I wasn’t the one afraid this time! Do not pass judgment on me. You have no idea what it’s like inside this skin; inside my mind!” I’d been walking toward him, bracing myself on anything solid. I felt the walls caving in.
“Let’s get you outside,” he wrapped his arm over my shoulders and the shock stiffened me. My breath caught in my throat and it felt as if I was being torn in two.
CHAPTER 27
I could feel his arms around me, racing to get outside, but I was shaken by what I saw. I blinked my eyes rapidly and gasped when the view didn’t change. I was standing in front of him, watching the scene from the outside. When we reached the door, cold air brushed my face and I snapped back together. I vomited several times and he wrapped me in a blanket. I cried for a while, but he said nothing. I knew he felt everything I was trying to hide and more, which made me cry harder. By the time I was done, all I could do was lean into his warm arms and stare up at the sky.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked.
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered into my hair.
“No, I do. I shouldn’t have flipped out on you like that,” my stomach fluttered when his breath touched my neck.
“I deserved it. I know you aren’t selfish. I’m not quite sure why I said that. It seems I’m saying many things lately that get me into trouble”
“I seem to have that problem, too,” I added breathlessly. I replayed the last good night we spent together in my mind and the heat rose.
“We should get back inside,” he slipped his arms from around me and helped me to my feet. I nodded, feeling deflated, and walked past him with renewed sadness.
“When we get my things tomorrow, I’ll introduce Austin to Nana and Pops. He can come with me from then on. What I feel for you isn’t going to change, Christian.”
“Goodnight, Lia,” he said to my back and disappeared into the night.
It took a long time for me to wake
up the next day. I tossed and turned most of the night, finally falling into a dreamless sleep around dawn. I felt like death washed over.
I heard feverish whispers outside the door and managed to untangle myself from the cocoon of sheets. I listened, holding my breath, as they tried to figure out what to do with me.
“I think I have something, but I’m not sure what to make of it,” I heard Austin say.
“What now?” Christian responded, sounding irritated.
“I had one of my assistants do some research on the types of things Lia can do and most of it pointed a very strange way,” he stated, rustling some papers.
“How is this possible?” Christian asked.
“I haven’t a clue. This is a whole new can of worms, my friend. What I know is limited, at best. I don’t even know where to go from here if this is true.”
There was a long pause, which left me itching. I opened the door to both men staring at me wide eyed. I knew I felt bad, but I didn’t think I looked the same. I sighed heavily and crossed my arms, waiting for an explanation.
“You do realize you can’t keep hiding things from me. After all, it is my life we’re gambling on. What are you talking about? What fucked up thing is going on this time?” The sunlight streaming in hurt my eyes, so what should have been a threatening look probably seemed more like a squint. Austin cleared his throat.
“I think we may have discovered the origin to your abilities. It seems that much of the power you possess is reminiscent of a Shaman.”
“Which is what, exactly?”
“Shamanistic peoples were among the very first to form any type of religion. They were incredibly spiritual beings. Shamanism is deeply rooted in nature and what one can learn from the Earth. They are usually healers on both a physical and spiritual level. They’ve also been known to travel the Spirit World for answers.”
“I don’t understand. I can’t talk to dead people” I rubbed my stinging eyes uttering several less than ladylike curse words.