“I–I’m not sure. My desire to be a parent hasn’t left, but I need to accept whatever God’s will is for me and Brian.”
Anna nodded slowly, as a flush of crimson color crept across her cheeks. “I understand. I’ve had to work through my feelings for Joel and accept the fact that he and I are not meant to be together. He’s engaged to marry someone else now, so there’s no hope of us ever being together.”
“Actually, he’s not engaged anymore.” Feeling a sudden chill, Doris picked up the coverlet and placed it over her knees, appreciating the warmth it offered.
“Really?” Anna’s eyes widened. “What happened?”
“It’s not my place to give the details, but I don’t think Joel and Kristi will be getting back together.”
“Can you tell me this much—did he break up with her, the same way as he did me?”
“No, it was Kristi who ended their relationship.”
Anna glanced out the window, then looked directly at Doris. “Do you think …? Is there any chance Joel might return to the Amish faith?”
“I honestly doubt it.” Doris wanted to say there was a possibility Joel might return and show an interest in Anna again, but he had given no signs of making such a change. Even if he had, she couldn’t imagine him giving up his modern ways for the plain life—not after he’d been gone for more than seven years.
“I need to forget about Joel and move on with my life, don’t I?” Anna’s chin quivered.
“Jah, I believe you should. It’s the right thing to do.”
Akron
As Joel left the jobsite and headed for the bank, he felt thankful he was finally able to work again; although he still had to take it easy. The last thing he wanted to do was reinjure his back and end up out of commission once more. He’d been paid for the first half of a kitchen remodel and wanted to put the money in the bank.
I’ll put it in our joint account, he decided. If Kristi checks on the balance again, and discovers I’ve put some of the money back that I previously took out, maybe she’ll decide I’m deserving of a second chance.
A short time later, Joel pulled into a space in the bank’s parking lot and walked into the building. When he reached the first available teller, he explained, “I’d like to deposit a check into the joint account I have with Kristi Palmer.”
When the middle-aged woman gave him a blank stare, he realized she needed the account number. Having memorized it from previous deposits he had made, Joel gave her the information.
Peering at him through her metal-framed glasses, she let out a soft breath and turned to the computer, entering the necessary data. She looked back at Joel and squinted. “I’m sorry, sir, but that account’s been closed.”
“What?” His arm jerked, and he felt sweat bead on his forehead. “Are—are you sure?”
She gave a brief nod. “According to the statement on the computer, Miss Palmer closed the account several days ago.”
That’s just great. Joel rubbed the side of his neck. Is she trying to send me a message?
“Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Byler?”
“What?” Joel jerked his head.
She repeated herself.
“Uh, sure. I’ll put this check in my business account.” He gave her the number and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to shake away some of the tension he felt. Maybe it’s really over between me and Kristi. Is it time to move on with my life?
CHAPTER 4
The second Sunday of December found Kristi at her parents’ home, sharing a meal after church. Ever since she and Joel had broken up, Sunday dinners had become a regular occurrence. Last year during the holidays, Kristi and Joel had driven around, looking at Christmas lights. They’d picked out two trees—one to put in her condo and one for Joel’s single-wide. She remembered how they’d stayed up late to ring in the New Year, making a toast with sparkling cider at midnight. Those times together had been fun, but Kristi needed to start fresh, without Joel in the picture.
She felt thankful her parents were Christians and had always been there when she had a need. Although the pain of losing Joel had lessened, at times she missed what they’d once had.
“You’re not eating much today. Is the roast not tender enough?”
Mom’s question scattered Kristi’s thoughts, and she nearly lost her grip on the fork she held. “Uh, no, it’s fine.” She took a bite of meat and blotted her lips with her napkin. “Really good, in fact.”
“Did you get a chance to greet our new youth pastor when church let out?” Mom asked. “His name is Darin Underwood, in case you didn’t hear it when Pastor Anderson introduced him to the congregation.”
“No, I didn’t get to meet him today. Too many other people were talking to him, and it would have been awkward if I’d barged in.” Kristi brought her glass to her lips and sipped some water.
“I spoke with Darin for a few minutes before church started.” Dad picked up the salt shaker and sprinkled some on his meat. Then he glanced briefly at Mom, as though expecting her to say something. Dad’s blood pressure had been running a little on the high side lately, and the doctor suggested he cut down on salt and get more exercise. He’d joined the fitness center where Kristi sometimes went, but giving up salt seemed to be hard for him.
Mom didn’t say anything, but her narrowed eyes spoke volumes.
They ate in silence for a while, with only the sounds of utensils clinking against their plates. Then Mom looked at Kristi and said, “I’ve been thinking about inviting the new youth pastor over for a meal soon. It will give us a chance to get to know him better. I hope you’ll be free to join us that evening.” She nudged Kristi’s arm. “Darin is single, you know.”
“I hope you’re not trying to play matchmaker, Mom.” Kristi groaned. “As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not ready to pursue a relationship right now.”
Mom’s cheeks colored as she picked up her glass. “I’m not suggesting anything like that. I only thought—”
“Changing the subject,” Kristi interrupted, “have you done much on your own with the quilted pillow slip you’re making?”
“A little, but I’ll work on it more when we go back to the quilting class this Saturday. Our Amish teacher is so patient and good at what she does.” Mom chuckled. “I’ll bet she could sew a quilt in her sleep.”
Kristi smiled. “The quilt I’m making for my bed will take longer to make than our six-week class allows, so I’ve been working on it at home in the evenings.”
Dad smiled. “I’m glad my two favorite ladies have found something they can enjoy doing together.”
“It’s been fun, and after each lesson Mom and I try out a different restaurant in Amish country.” Kristi fiddled with her dress sleeve. They hadn’t been back to Der Dutchman in Walnut Creek since they’d seen Doris, but she hoped they could go there again sometime.
Berlin
“I’m glad you were able to make it to church today, but you must be tired.” Arlene followed her sister to the couch. Once Doris was stretched out, she put a pillow under her leg.
Doris nodded. “The trip there was tiring, and sitting for three hours wore me out. That’s why Brian and I didn’t stay for the meal.”
“Is there something I can fix for you now?”
“No, Brian heated some soup for us as soon as we got home. What about you? Did you have a chance to eat with your family before you came over here?” Doris asked.
“Jah. When I saw you leave, we decided not to stay for the meal, either.” Arlene leaned back in the rocking chair and started it moving slowly. “After we got home, I fixed sandwiches for everyone, fed and diapered Samuel, and then put him down for a nap. If he wakes up before I get back, Larry or one of the girls will keep him occupied until I get back.”
Doris yawned and covered her mouth with her hand. “You really didn’t have to come here today. Brian’s with me. If I need anything, he’ll take care of it.”
“I know, but I wasn’t sure if you’d ea
ten, so—”
“A van just pulled into the yard,” Brian announced as he walked into the room. “It’s your aunt,” he said, looking out the living-room window. “She’s getting out of the vehicle.”
Arlene hopped up. “I wonder what she’s doing here.” She turned to Doris. “Did you know Aunt Verna was coming?”
Doris shook her head.
“Guess we’ll find out the reason for her visit soon enough.” Brian opened the door and stepped outside.
Arlene grabbed her shawl and followed. Aunt Verna was walking toward the house with her suitcase, which Brian was quick to take from her.
“Are you surprised to see me?” Aunt Verna gave Arlene a hug.
“I certainly am. Neither Doris nor I knew you were coming. Does Elsie know?”
“Nope. When I heard about Doris’s accident, I decided she could probably use some help, so I talked it over with Lester, and he said I could come for as long as I’m needed.” She grinned. “I talked to him about joining me here for Christmas, and he agreed. He will be here on Christmas Eve. It’ll be nice to spend the holiday with our three special nieces.”
Arlene gently squeezed her aunt’s hand. “Having you both here will be wunderbaar, and your help will certainly be appreciated.”
As Joel drove through the town of Berlin, memories of the past flooded his mind. As a teenager, he and some of his buddies came here for pizza and to hang out together. Those days were carefree, he thought, turning onto the road that led to Doris’s house. While he’d never had enough money to satisfy his wants, Joel had been better off than he was right now. At least back then he wasn’t faced with a bunch of debts he couldn’t pay. Life seemed much simpler when he was still Amish.
Joel slowed to turn onto Doris and Brian’s driveway. Their place was small compared to most of the Amish homes he’d been in, but they didn’t need much space since only the two of them lived there. Too bad she lost her baby, he thought. I bet Brian would have happily added onto the house if they needed more room for a growing family.
He pulled up next to the barn and turned off the ignition. Joel had driven his everyday car today, knowing better than to show his fancy Corvette to any of his family. He hoped his visit with Doris would go well and that he’d have the right words to say. Joel had never been good at communicating with Doris—at least not since they’d become adults. He always sensed her resentment of him for having left the Amish faith. It didn’t help that his former girlfriend, Anna Detweiler, was Doris’s best friend. Doris probably hasn’t forgiven me for turning my back on Anna and our relationship.
Determined to make the best of this visit, Joel grabbed the “Get Well” balloon he’d bought and got out of the car. He knocked on the door and was startled when he was greeted by Aunt Verna.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” they said in unison.
Joel’s cheeks heated. Apparently his aunt was aware that he didn’t come around very often. “I came to see how Doris is doing.”
She tipped her head to one side. “What was that?”
“I said, ‘I came to see how Doris is doing.’” Joel spoke a little louder this time. “Just didn’t expect you to be here.”
She smiled and gave him a hug. “I got here a short time ago. Came to help out so your sisters could have a break. With Christmas coming soon, they’ll have lots to do at their own homes, so I’ll take care of things here.”
“I’m sure your help will be appreciated.” Joel patted her back, continuing to speak loud enough for her to hear. “It’s good to see you.”
“Come inside and say hello to Doris. You just missed Arlene. She went home a few minutes ago.” Aunt Verna led the way to the living room, where Joel found his sister on the couch, with Brian sitting on the end of it by her feet.
Joel moved over to stand beside Doris and handed her the balloon. “This is for you. I heard about your accident and wanted to come by and see how you’re doing.”
“Thank you. I’m getting along as well as can be expected.” Clinging to the balloon, she clasped her hands tightly together in her lap.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
Doris gave a brief nod in response.
“Please, take a seat.” Brian gestured to the recliner near the rocker, where Aunt Verna sat.
Scraping a hand through his hair, Joel did as his brother-in-law suggested. He’d been right to visit, but he felt strangely out of place. Sometimes when he was around his siblings and their spouses, things became heated. Other times, his tension and sense of being out of place dissipated.
“How have you been, Joel?” Aunt Verna asked.
“I’m gettin’ by.” But things would be better if I had more money.
“Did you say you’re going to buy something?”
“No, I said I’m getting by.”
She smiled at him. “Glad to hear it. How’s that pretty young woman who was with you at my bruder’s funeral? Kristi—isn’t that her name?”
Joel winced at the mention of Kristi. “We broke up,” he mumbled, hoping to keep his composure.
“What was that?” Aunt Verna cupped one hand around her ear.
“He said they broke up.” Doris turned to Joel and frowned. “You seem to have a knack for messing things up with the people you’re supposed to love.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, a sharp pain hit Joel in the chest. His sister was right. There was no denying it. This whole time he’d been attempting to get Kristi back because he was lonely without her. He’d ruined the chance of marrying the woman he loved, all for the sake of having money. It was likely he would never hold Kristi in his arms again, and that pained him the most.
Doris gasped. “I–I’m sorry, Joel. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Shrugging, he stared at his shoes. “You only spoke what you feel is true. I don’t have a good track record with women. Apparently you felt the need to remind me of that.”
“Maybe we need to change the subject,” Brian interjected.
“Or maybe it would be best if I go.” Joel stood and looked at Doris. “I hope your leg heals as it should and that you’ll feel better soon.” He said a quick goodbye and hurried out the door.
“Probably shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered, while opening his car door. I’m glad Doris is doing okay, but I’m tired of her putting me down for my mistakes. I never seem to say or do the right thing when I’m around any of my family. Don’t know why I bother to try. Even after all this time, Doris is obviously still upset with me for breaking up with Anna.
As Joel drove down the driveway, he met an Amish buggy heading toward him. He moved the car over as far as he could to let it pass. As the buggy went by, he recognized the driver. It was Anna. What are the odds? Joel’s toes curled inside his shoes. Not knowing what else to do, he gave a wave and continued out onto the road.
As he traveled on, Joel thought about Anna and all the Sunday afternoons they’d spent together when they were courting. A lot of history lay between them, and every time he saw her, scenes from the past would rush through his head. They’d had some fun times back then, even after Joel became dissatisfied with his life. Before he left the Amish faith, he thought he could convince Anna to go English, too. They could have started a new life together. Anna’s experience with children might have helped her get a job as a nanny or working at a daycare center. But Joel now recognized that she would never have agreed to leave. She was committed to the old ways.
He gripped the steering wheel and gritted his teeth. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. I’m not Amish anymore, and it’s over between me and Anna. There’s no going back.
CHAPTER 5
Charm, Ohio
The following day, when Elsie arrived at Dad’s house to do more sorting, she was surprised to see Arlene’s buggy parked by the barn. It was the first time since Doris’s accident that they’d been able to continue searching for the will. Thanks to Aunt Verna showing up and offering to care for Doris, Elsi
e and Arlene felt free to spend time here again. They could only be at Dad’s a few days a week, however. With Christmas drawing closer, there was much to be done at home in preparation for the big day.
After Elsie put her horse away in the corral, she grabbed the basket of food she’d brought and went into the house. Arlene sat in the living room, going through a stack of magazines.
“Sorry I’m a little late.” Elsie set the basket down, removed her jacket and bonnet, and hung them on a wall peg near the door. “I hope you haven’t been working on your own for long.”
“No—only fifteen minutes or so.” Arlene held up one of the magazines. “Just when I think we’ve come to the end of catalogs and magazines, I find there are more.”
“I don’t suppose you’ve found Dad’s will in any of them?”
“No will, but I did find this inside the first magazine I went through.” Arlene pointed to the dollar bill lying on the coffee table in front of her.
Elsie pursed her lips. “I wonder why Dad would put money inside a magazine.”
“Maybe he was preoccupied and didn’t realize he’d done it.”
“Or perhaps he put it there for safekeeping. I need to put some food in the refrigerator that I brought for Glen, and then we should keep looking.” Elsie picked up the basket and headed for the kitchen. After she’d put the food away, she returned to the living room.
“When we decide to take a break, I’ll need to change Glen’s sheets and make up his bed. He’s been busy with work, not to mention taking care of Dad’s horses and doing chores around this place, so I want to help out.”
Arlene nodded. “That’s understandable. I’d do the same if one of my kinner were staying here.”
Elsie walked by the front window and looked out. “It will be nice having Aunt Verna and Uncle Lester for Christmas.”
“Jah. I enjoy having all the family gathered together for the special holiday, celebrating Jesus’ birth.”
“Well, I guess we’d better get busy.” Elsie grabbed a stack of magazines and took a seat beside her sister. Instead of turning each of the pages, she held the magazine by the bound edge and shook it. To her surprise, several bills fell out. “Wow! We may be on to something here.”
The Divided Family Page 3