To Me I Wed

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To Me I Wed Page 11

by K. M. Jackson


  Lily laughed as she pulled away from the curb. “Don’t tempt me, lady; I just may be in a gambling mood.”

  * * *

  Forty-five minutes later they were seated at the Cheesecake Factory and had just given the waitress their orders. Mama Dee took a sip of her ice tea and then put it down regally before training her keen eyes on Lily. “Okay, darling, we’re seated. I should be happy and have my mac and cheese balls soon. Why don’t you explain to me what the deal is with this whole marriage-to-yourself ceremony that you plan on doing? Why this and why now?”

  Lily looked at her grandmother and let out a short sigh. She knew this question would be coming, and honestly she should’ve prepared better to answer it. When she ran over how it would go, she saw herself spewing out all the right answers. Because I’m confident in myself, she thought she would say. Because I’m happy where I am in life and I don’t need a man to make me whole and to fulfill me. That one sounded like it would come off so well. Because I want to celebrate me; I love me and I want the world to know it. That one seemed a little bit shaky, but it sounded good enough.

  But as she sat looking her grandmother straight in the eyes, none of her prepared answers seemed quite right. They didn’t seem quite right because she didn’t know if she really believed them down deep in her heart. They were all true in their own ways, but were they really the reason she was doing it? Could she really tell Mama Dee that she chose to do it partially in a fit of anger because she was tired of answering the same “When are you getting married?” question and the ceremony seemed like an inspired thing to do but with further thought she was faltering?

  No, she really couldn’t tell her that. That would send her grandmother into a tizzy worrying about her, and she didn’t need to have that type of worry added to her conscience.

  Mama Dee reached across the table and took Lily’s hands in her own. Up until that moment, when Mama Dee stilled them, Lily didn’t even know her hands were shaking. She blinked, doing her best to push back the tears fighting to be unleashed.

  “Babe, you are ready to cry. You haven’t done anything wrong. If you want to have this party for yourself, and if you want to tell the world that you love yourself, then go ahead and do it. Hell, you should love yourself. You know the old saying—If you don’t love yourself, then nobody else will. But let me just caution you right there. Somebody always loves you and always has.” Mama Dee squeezed her hands tightly. “Despite what you think of this crazy family of yours, we’re here for you. We love you unconditionally. I love you unconditionally, and even that tight-lipped, steel-backed mama of yours loves you unconditionally. I never want you to feel like you’re fighting this fight called life out here by yourself.” Mama Dee’s words, her declaration of love, had Lily choking back a quick sob. She knew her grandmother loved her, but she also knew that one day her grandmother would leave her, and she wanted to make her happy. She wanted her to have the day to see her walk down the aisle. She also wanted Mama Dee to have peace and know she’d be fine. But she didn’t want to tell her the truth—that she was afraid if she waited for the right man to come along, Mama Dee would never have that happy day to see her walk down the aisle. Lily pushed out a weak smile, moving her hands so they were over her grandmother’s, and gave her a squeeze. “Well, then, I know I have all I need. But I still want to have my wedding while I’m looking good and of an age where I can get away with wearing white. There are those sketchy years where no matter what anyone says, the color is just not appropriate.”

  Mama Dee smiled back. “Nonsense. I reckon you can wear white at eighty if you want.” Just then, the waitress came over with their appetizers. The poor girl looked a little stunned and embarrassed as she took them in, holding hands, eyes all red-rimmed from crying. It was clear that she wasn’t sure what to do with the two women in front of her who were clearly deep in thought and conversation. “Um, excuse me,” she said. “Can I put these down?”

  Mama Dee looked up at her and grinned. “Well, you’d better before I snatch them out of your hands. I’m so hungry, bring ’em to me,” she said with laughter in her voice.

  Lily and Mama Dee started to eat with quiet ease. Lily hoped she could convince Mama Dee with her next words. “Really, I’m doing this because I want everyone to see that I am truly happy with the way things are in my life. I’m tired of the questions and everyone asking me about settling down. Nothing in me wants to settle.”

  That got a grin out of Mama Dee, and Lily continued. “I’m happy with just being myself. I’m happy making my own decisions for myself. My business is picking up and going well. I have some really good friends. I am able to travel and come and go as I please. What do I need a man mucking that up for?”

  “Well, amen to that,” Mama Dee said with a quick nod. “But why do you have to have a whole ceremony to do it, is my question.”

  Lily’s eyes narrowed. “Does it embarrass you so much? Does it embarrass the family? Is that why you’re asking?”

  “No, child. Me? Nothing embarrasses me. If you wanna run naked through the neighborhood, you know me. I’ll find a way to convince the neighbors it is the latest fashion and join in. But you know your mama, she likes to keep up appearances. So yeah, it does embarrass her a little bit. But don’t you worry. I’ll bring her around. Besides, I’ve been looking into things on the Internet.”

  Lily’s brows went up. “Mama Dee, you realize you and the Internet don’t get along so well, right?” Lily tried to squelch down the immediate thread of panic she felt when Mama Dee brought up the Internet, but it was hard. The last time Mama Dee got on the Internet, she ended up opening quite a few dating accounts and took it upon herself to snap some rather provocative pictures for her profile. Lily’s mother still hadn’t gotten over the shock of all the illicit phone calls to the house—so much so, they had to change their number.

  “Don’t you worry, I wasn’t surfing no place I wasn’t supposed to,” Mama Dee said with a shake of her head. “But I did find out that this married-to-yourself deal might actually be something. Looks like you are about to get in on the ground floor of a hot, new trend. This might be a really good business venture for you.”

  Lily nodded at Mama Dee, feeling suddenly more buoyant. “That’s what I was thinking too. It could be fantastic if I can spin it the right way. If I can pull this off and convince others of what a fabulous time it can be. Hey, you never know, I may find a whole new niche market.”

  Mama Dee grinned, not bothering to hide her pride. “I always knew you were the smartest one of the bunch,” she said, then looked at Lily sternly. “Though, if you quote me on that part, I’ll lie on a stack of Bibles. I don’t need your sisters looking at me all sideways at the next dinner.”

  Lily laughed. “Don’t worry, that’ll stay between you and me. Just like you don’t need them looking sideways, I don’t need my sisters any more jealous of me than they already are. And speaking of jealous, the added bonus of all this is that I could drive my sisters crazy by putting them through the whole bridesmaid nightmare they’ve all put me through. I’m going to pick out some shoes for them that are gonna pinch the hell out of their feet.”

  Mama Dee raised her brow and looked at Lily with a knowing glance. “Hmph, that sounds great, but there I was thinking that the added bonus was the fact that you get to spend so much time with that delicious-looking empanada man. You are using his place for the venue, right?”

  Lily sputtered and choked on a piece of fried macaroni. She quickly reached for her water glass. Mama Dee was always seeing way too much. And the nerve tagging Vin, the empanada man, not to mention that she totally peeped Lily’s hole card and the fact that she was low key definitely looking forward to spending time with said empanada man with the midnight eyes.

  When Lily quit her coughing her grandmother was shaking her head and smiling. “Oh, honey, I need to teach you a lot better.”

  Lily frowned. “What are you talking about now, Mama Dee?”

  “Your poker fac
e is for crap. You might be well versed and quite convincing when it comes to spouting off about how much you don’t need a man to complete you or whatever. But I can tell you one thing, from what I’m seeing over here, you definitely wouldn’t turn down that man.”

  And with that comment, Lily shook her head and prayed for the waitress to come with the rest of their food so that they could eat more and talk a whole lot less.

  Chapter 8

  Vin was determined to make damn sure that he was better prepared for Lily Perry’s next visit. He may have been caught completely off guard during the last meeting, but this time he was prepped and ready to roll.

  The restaurant was closed, so he was by himself. Normally he’d be happy for the opportunity to get a little alone time with a beautiful woman, but for some reason, and if his annoying fidgetiness was any indication, he was actually missing Manny’s presence as a buffer. The thought had him inwardly cringing. God, did he really have it that bad?

  Vin grunted at the blasphemous thought and gave a quick glance to what he had prepared for Lily for brunch. Though she’d said she was just stopping by for a quick chat and look around in order to take photos and get more décor and layout ideas, he’d prepared a tasting menu that featured some of his favorite dishes: camarones en salsa verde, filete de pescado, and his seafood paella, not to mention a few of the empanadas she’d enjoyed at the wedding. He suddenly got a knot of dread when he wondered if she even liked seafood. What if she had a problem with shellfish? Shrimp, fish, and paella—what a rookie move. He was so off his game. This was something he should have checked. Damn it.

  Vin let out a long breath. He knew what the problem was. It wasn’t so much that he was nervous because he was attracted to her and just the thought of her had him stiffening like a schoolboy, though that didn’t make things any easier. No, it was that he hoped she’d be so enamored with his place and his food that she’d get past his judgy attitude at their last meeting and forgive him for his reaction, or overreaction as it were, to her whole wedding-to-herself announcement. That she’d see that it wasn’t a big deal and he was over it and understood. Not that any of that was true, because he wasn’t over it and he still didn’t understand why she was doing what she was doing, despite his trying. No matter what angle he used to approach it, the whole thing didn’t make a bit of sense to him.

  Lily was a perfectly intelligent and vibrant, not to mention hot as shit, woman. What was she doing sticking her neck out and possibly opening herself up to this type of public scrutiny? Had she been so screwed over by men that this was the outcome? Vin’s stomach suddenly twisted over on itself. Knotted up, as his own involvement in her screw-ation hit him. He shook his head against the thought. No way. There was no way he was putting that on himself. So he’d never pursued her after they’d gotten hot and heavy that day on the beach. It wasn’t like she’d ever come looking for him. Shouldn’t the screw turn both ways? Especially with a modern woman like her.

  Besides, Lily had said so herself. This was her choice. Her situation.

  She’d said she was fine. That she was happy and secure and perfectly content with herself and her life. Why shouldn’t he take her word for it? Vin snorted as he remembered the passionate abandon with which she’d kissed him at Simon and Sophie’s reception. The way she’d opened up and broken loose. Drinking him in like a woman lost in the desert hitching a ride from a water truck. She sure didn’t seem like she had it all together.

  And it was with that thought that Vin heard Little Miss Together lumber up his drive once again in that loud-ass car of hers. From the sound of it, he wondered if the car would find its way back down. But quickly he stirred his sauce and lowered the flame, then wiped his hands on a dish towel before removing his apron and stepping out of the restaurant’s kitchen just as she stepped through Canela’s doors.

  Vin sucked in a breath as he steeled his resolve and took in the image of Lily on this late spring morning. Despite her dark sunglasses, she looked like rays of bohemian sunshine in a flowing, white peasant blouse with billowy sleeves and lace accents. Its low V-neck showed off her full breasts just enough to stir his blood. Down below she wore black leggings that hugged her every curve and showed off her long legs to perfection. When she did remove her glasses and shook out her soft brown curls, she just about took his breath away. “So you ready to work this out?”

  Hell, he was ready to work anything, no strike that, everything out with her. Anytime, anyplace.

  But to answer, Vin grinned at her as he strode forward, finally coming to a stop right before her. “Like I said at our last meeting, your wish is my command.”

  * * *

  Lily walked into Canela and blinked rapidly against the darkness as her eyes tried to adjust. For the first time she felt that maybe it was too dark in Vin’s restaurant to hold a wedding. But then she remembered she was still wearing her sunglasses and eased them off, bringing the full force of Vincent Caro into focus as he strode toward her. No, it wasn’t too dark. As a matter of fact the lighting in here was just perfect. Giving her brain a kick, Lily knew she was just making excuses. She’d come there partly to gain ideas and firm up her plans, but she knew the other part of her, the part that she most feared and often denied, was there to look for a way out. And there he was standing before her. Flashing like a well-muscled neon sign. WAY OUT!

  Damn, Vin was a lot to take in. And all just right in his well-worn jeans and black tee. On his feet he wore well-worn, though not grimy by any means, basketball sneakers. Nothing about him said he was putting on airs or had anything to hide. The whole outfit, with its perfect casual flare, hanging in all the right ways on his toned body, had her mind immediately jumping off her commitment ceremony and onto the nonexistent honeymoon she would not be having. Lily fought against the nerve to fan herself and inwardly murmured, “Be cool.”

  She smiled up at him. “You and your promises about wishes. I would be careful about what I said if I were you. Fair warning, I can be a pretty demanding client.”

  With that comment, Vin smiled. Those gorgeously scruffy cheeks spread just enough to show his beautiful white teeth, the canines flashing a slight point that had parts of her body tingling that really shouldn’t at the moment.

  “That’s what I’m hoping for,” was his only reply. That and a quirk of his brow.

  Lily’s mind quickly fluttered backward to their first meeting and the first time she’d seen his smile full-on. He’d seemed so dark and broody against the backdrop of the beach and sun and all the people happily going about their lives. She didn’t know, something about him when he was going about his business and working that little taco stand gave off a serious “don’t mess with me” air. But when he’d finally been persuaded to come out, thanks to Simon, and their eyes met and the full force of his smile hit her, well, it was like a car getting a jump-start the way he revved her up. It made her feel supercharged, as if she could take on anything, but at the same time it scared her, bringing out a recklessness she didn’t know she had. Lily felt a frown pull at her brows with the thought. That recklessness was yet another reason she should, if not rethink her commitment ceremony, at least reconsider having it here, with him.

  Lily inhaled deeply and, as the enticing aromas of sweet, savory, and spicy hit her senses, told herself not to be too hasty. With her mind almost firmly and solely on her ceremony, Lily brought business back into focus and leveled Vin with her gaze. “It smells great. But I thought you were closed today.”

  “I am,” Vin said as he walked her farther into the restaurant. “But I thought I’d prepare a little something for you. That way we can discuss what you’d like for the menu, talk more in depth, and I could learn your tastes.”

  A smiled quirked at the corner of Lily’s lips. She knew he was just being professional and doing what he should as a vendor, but she couldn’t help it. Something about the way he’d said that he wanted to know her tastes made her hope for more. It was stupid and she knew it. She was his client, not
hing more. She looked at his full lips surrounded by that delicious hint of beard and remembered the slight scratchy feel of it. Hell, this wasn’t going to be as easy as she thought.

  She didn’t know why, maybe it was her being the client for once or maybe it was a case of his being the vendor, but she didn’t know what to expect or do with herself. Lily felt suddenly fidgety. In any other case, she’d have things down pat and do her usual tight-ship situation. However, now that all the balls were in her court, all she felt she could do was duck and dodge. She looked at Vin and blinked, taking in his confused expression. She felt foolish and didn’t blame him for being bewildered. She was supposed to be taking the lead. Hell, it was her wedding; she should be taking the lead in all ways. Lily cleared her throat. “That sounds great, and honestly I am kind of hungry. But do you mind if I take a few pictures first?”

  He nodded. “Of course not.”

  Lily reached into her bag and took out her phone, then took quick snaps of the room from all angles. She frowned as she started to look at things objectively and really take in the venue with a more critical eye. It would take a bit of work to turn the place into the wedding location of her dreams. But really, what about this was her dream anyway? In her dream, she was walking down a rose-petal path with the sky and ocean as its backdrop. She was heading confidently toward the strong, waiting arms of the faceless man who was as eager to be joined with her as she was to be joined to him. Lily almost laughed at the silly thought, since, in all her years of dating and premature mating, she’d yet to come close to meeting a man to fill the faceless void.

  She continued snapping while Vin leaned by the bar and watched her. “So, how married are you to those stools?”

  He frowned but quickly eased. “I’m not all that. You can change what you like as long as it’s set back to rights when you’re done.”

 

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