by Conn, Phoebe
Jason tossed her dress to her as he replied angrily, "You still don't trust me, do you?"
"How can I when I know I will soon be regarded as a 'tiresome responsibility'?" Gabrielle shook out her lace-trimmed lingerie and pulled it on slowly, wondering why the fact she was nude did not bother her. She decided it was ridiculous to consider such a silly thing after fhe delicious intimacy they'd shared that morning. Although she did not wish to be treated so casually, she had only herself to blame. Jason was a man after all, and a young, virile one who could be expected to want exactly what he'd taken from her. She was the fool to give love so eagerly when he gave nothing in return.
Jason's gaze darkened as he watched the young woman he adored slip back into her clothes. She adjusted her garments with a few smooth touches and then combed out her long auburn hair with her fingertips. When she paused to glance up at him she looked as though she had been doing nothing more than fishing, but he'd not forget what had truly happened between them. He could think of no way to give her the reassurance she seemed to crave and so he did not try. When she could not feel the depth of his devotion in his caress, how could mere words convey his regard for her? "I'll come back for the blanket and the other things later. We'll just go back to
the wagon train and say half the fish are yours. No one will suspect a thing at this hour of the day/'
'That is why you chose it?" Cabrielle asked curiously, wondering if he would admit how devious his plan had been.
"Precisely. Now let's go."
Jason was as lost in thought as Cabrielle when they started down the rocky hill. He was thinking of the many women he had known and he found he could compare none to her. He was the only man she had known, which he certainly could not say about any of the others. He had been with women he hadn't paid, but he'd not been the first to sample their favors, nor by any stretch of the imagination had he thought he'd be the last. She'd been dangerously close to the truth with her question. He did seize whatever opportunity he had to enjoy being with a woman but—damn it!—none of them had meant anything to him. None had ignited his passion the way she did with no more than the promise of pleasure in her glance. He could not even recall the names of most of the women he'd slept with, hadn't even thought that feat necessary until now. Those encounters had been playful, spur of the moment and brief, and not once filled with the rapture Cabrielle gave in such great abundance. How she had managed to bewitch him so completely he did not know, for the world was filled with beautiful women, and many that could be had for a very reasonable price. He'd had plenty of them, yet their affection had been so empty. He watched her move over the rocks beside the stream in smooth, agile leaps; the path no challenge for one with such easy grace. He longed to be able to read her thoughts. Perhaps she had spoken the truth when she'd said she'd always love Beau. Maybe his cause was truly a hopeless one and her heart would never open to him. He was disgusted with himself then, for in the beginning he had taken this beautiful creature, wishing only to teach her what he thought was one of the most useful of life's lessons. He had treated her as casually as if she were to be his mistress for the trip and nothing more. Indeed, wasn't that what he'd made of her? He'd given her the greatest of pleasure, and taken his
own, but he'd not won her trust, let alone her love. The morning had gone exactly as he'd planned it, so why did he feel nothing but guilt rather than the warm glow of satisfaction he had craved?
Moving ahead along the trail, Gabrielle reached the pond where Jason had been fishing and stopped abruptly, for Sam Duffy was seated in the shade with a fishing line in his hand. Gabrielle could tell by his lopsided grin that he had been waiting for them to appear. She cared little what he might think, but Jason's reaction to Sam's greeting was far more hostile.
"Well if it ain't the righteous Mr. Royal and one of his little brides." Sam nearly drooled, his evil leer had grown so wide. "You picked the wrong boy to carry your messages this time, not that Timothy told me nothing you understand. I just like to keep my eyes open and when I seen you speak with him and then he made a quick dash for Miss MacLaren I put two and two together pretty fast. Now I don't intend to tell nobody about this. I'll stay out of your business as long as you promise to stay out of mine. I don't want neither of you comin' 'round my wife and kids again, or the things you want kept secret is gonna be common knowledge. You understand what I mean? You'll have a bride on your hands no man will be fool enough to take."
"I don't make idle threats, Sam, and I'd advise you not to either. You make the mistake of touching one hair on your wife's head, or of saying one unkind word about Miss MacLaren and you're a dead man." Jason spoke in a soft, low tone that made his words all the more terrifying, for it was obvious he meant exactly what he said.
Sam got to his feet, yanking his line from the water and tossing it aside. "Don't you go and threaten me. I know what you been doin', you hear? I seen you in the water and you two sure weren't swimmin' neither!"
'That's it, Sam. You just made your wife a widow." Jason crossed the short distance between them with a flying leap, his
first punch catching the obnoxious man full in the mouth and knocking him clear off his feet. Sam never had a chance to run or to defend himself. E^ch time he fell down Jason yanked him to his feet and struck him again, delivering each blow with more power until the man's face was completely unrecognizable, a mask of blood covering his badly swollen features.
Gabrielle had seen plenty of fist fights, but they had been scuffles between boys. Never had she seen a man so intent on murder as Jason was now. He was methodically beating Sam Duffy to death and for what? Because he was ashamed that the man knew they were lovers? That was hardly a capital offense. She tried to grab his arm, to stop him while there was still some spark of life left in poor Sam Duffy, but Jason shoved her aside and, picking up the unconscious man, tossed him into the middle of the pond. Then he calmly bent down to retrieve the fish he'd left tethered to the line at the water's edge.
"Gjme on, let's go."
"You're not going to leave him to drown!" Gabrielle cried out in disbelief, appalled by the brutality she'd just witnessed.
*'He deserves no better. I warned him and he asked for it. That was his mistake, not mine," Jason explained matter-of-fact ly as he turned to go.
"You coward!" Gabrielle shouted at his back. But there was no time to argue with Jason when Sam lay floating face down in the pond. She bent down on her knees and leaning out as far as she could, caught hold of Sam's trousers and pulled his limp body to shore. He was heavy, but Jason gave her no help as she struggled to pull him onto dry ground. When she rolled him over on his stomach and pressed down on his back, water poured from his mouth and then he began to retch as he came fully awake. As she moved away from Duffy she was surprised to see that Jason had not left. He stood by, watching her with an expression she could only describe as amazement.
"Why would you want to save him?" he asked angrily. "He'll only repay your kindness by spreading ugly rumors about us we won't be able to stop."
"So what?" Gabrielle replied instantly. "My reputation is not worth any man's life. Take your blasted fish and go on back to the wagon train. No one will ever suspect we were together since you'd rather kill than admit it. Mr. Duffy here just happened to slip while he was climbing and fell into the pond, isn't that right, Sam?" She nudged his shoulder with a forceful shove and he nodded since he was coughing so badly he could not reply in words.
Jason knew he had no choice but to go. Gabrielle had so little sense at times he knew he'd just be wasting his breath to try to make her see reason. Her reputation was worth the lives of more than a dozen men like Duffy, and he'd not allow her to suffer when he was the one who could not control his desire for her. "Get him back down into camp as soon as you can. I'll send Paul up to help if you aren't back in ten minutes."
"Don't bother!" Gabrielle called after him, thoroughly disgusted with his ruthless tactics. Turning to Sam, she shook him again, "Well, you heard him. As
soon as you think you can stand I'll help you back down the trail."
Sam tried to get up on his hands and knees, but fell back down, too badly hurt to attempt to crawl. He tried to catch his breath, but he'd never been so frightened or in such terrible pain. He began to sob like a homeless puppy.
As disgusted with Sam as she was with Jason, Gabrielle stood up and began to pace by his side. "You brought this all on yourself, Sam. Mr. Royal is a proud man and he'll not allow you to slander his name or mine." Of course it wasn't slander, she knew, merely the truth. "Now I'll wait here for as long as it takes you to pull yourself together because I don't want you to fall back into the water and drown after I went to the trouble of pulling you out."
Sam continued to weep pathetically, his voice hoarse as he begged her to forgive him. "I won't never breathe a word of none of it, miss. I swear I won't." He knew Jason Royal had meant to kill him, that he had not succeeded was due only to this slip of a girl. Duffy was so terrified he could not
stop shaking.
Gabrielle tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the man to rise. She didn't give a damn what he said about her, wouldn't have cared if the whole camp had seen her making love to Jason as though she were a mermaid accustomed to such erotic play underwater, but Jason clearly had another view. A chill of fear shot up her spine as she realized he'd promised to marry her should she become pregnant. Did she truly want to give birth to a child fathered by a murderer, or to call such a man husband? Sam moaned loudly then, reminding her that Jason was not really a murderer, at least not yet. But they still had a long way to go before they reached Oregon and she could not bear to consider what might happen along the way.
"i^/ua/Uejc, 3[J
Rather than being the ungrateful troublemaker Jason had predicted he'd be, Sam Duffy became an inspiring example of loyalty. When they had returned to camp he'd told everyone that Gabrielle had happened along the trail just in time to save his life. Because of his cuts and bruises and his obviously shaken state, his tale was readily believed. He then began to follow the young woman about whenever the wagon train camped, offering to perform whatever service she might require from saddling Sunny to unhitching the team of oxen which pulled her wagon. If he were not present himself, he sent Timothy to be certain there was nothing which needed to be done. At first Gabrielle had tried to politely discourage the man's devotion, but he did not seem to hear her refusals and persisted in being so enormously helpful that her friends began to tease her, saying Sam Duffy had been smitten by her charms. She did no more than smile and ask them to be kind to the man. G)nsequently they did not tease him as unmercifully as they did her.
Jason missed little that happened among the emigrants and he thought Sam's transformation a most remarkable event. The man had shaved off his beard, and had begun to wear clean clothing. If he was not following Gabrielle around and trying to be of service to her, he could be found playing with his children
or sitting by his wagon talking quietly with his wife. Far from being jealous, Mrs. Duffy seemed grateful that her husband had become so attentive and she made no complaints whatsoever.
Using Sam as a convenient excuse to speak with Cabrielle, Jason wandered by her wagon one evening and drew her aside. **I would not have left your pet to drown. Had you not pulled Sam out of the pond that day I would have.^'
Astonished by that revelation, Gabrielle asked impatiently, "Do you really expect me to believe that fairy tale, Mr. Royal? I was there and you had already turned to go when I went to Sam's rescue. It is far too late now to tell me you did not intend to let him drown."
Jason took off his hat and thumped it against his knee several times to brush off the dust before he jammed it back on his head.
''You think damn Httle of me, don't you?"
His bright glance was as accusing as his question. He had hoped sheM believe him, but she had scarcely listened to his explanation of his intention. He knew, however, no matter what she thought, that he'd have pulled Sam out of the water. He'd only tossed him in to give him a good scare, not to kill him.
"With good reason!" Gabrielle's long, dark lashes nearly swept hsriirows she was so surprised. "You have given me ample opportunity to observe your true colors, Mr. Royal."
Jason had paid absolutely no attention to her and had not given her one kind word, let alone a compliment, in the many days that had passed since they'd left Bear Lake. He'd been a lover of extraordinary sensitivity that day and then he had retreated behind a wall of silence. He'd become a stranger who valued her reputation above all things. Or perhaps it is his own reputation he values so highly, she thought bitterly. Either way, the result had been the same. He had simply ignored her and his neglect had hurt her badly.
Jason's dark brows came together in a savage frown, his
disappointment profound at finding her in such an argumentative mood. "Sam does not bother you, does he? Just let me know if you find his attentions offensive and I'll—*'
"You'll what?" Gabrielle stepped close to whisper her question. "Just shoot him this time?"
"Damn it, Gabrielle, you're not being fair!"
She turned her back on him then, leaving him swearing angrily with only the wind to hear. She could not understand his moods. It was not a question of forgiving him for the fury of his passions, certainly not. When she could not even control her own thoughts or behavior, it was ludicrous to attempt to make him admit his lack of judgment had nearly cost Sam his life. What a hopeless mess everything had become, but she could not change the way she felt about Jason nor did she even wish to try. He had raised the barrier which existed between them, and she felt as though she were pounding her fists upon a stone wall each time she tried to break it down. He is like the wind he admires, she thought suddenly, warm, sensuous but maddeningly invisible when what I crave is love of the most devoted and enduring kind.
When they reached the effervescent waters of Soda Springs, the children as well as the adults were delighted by the bubbles that tickled their noses as they tried to drink, making them burst into laughter no matter how serious an expression they attempted to maintain. Gabrielle joined her friends but found it difficult to enjoy their playful antics when Jason was standing nearby. He was, as always, her consuming interest, and she much preferred to watch him rather than concentrate upon the conversation of the young women with whom she spent so much time. He appeared to be as amused as the children. In fact, she'd seldom seen him in so jovial a mood, as if the spring were his own private discovery which he'd been too generous to keep secret. Attempting to be more objective, she thought of the many ways in which he'd helped them all. She was certain he was as fine a wagon master as any man could hope to to be, for despite his strictness, he had infused each
step of the journey with a sense of wonder at the beauty of nature. When they broke camp each morning, he insisted they leave the land unscarred by their stay. Too many wagon trains left the terrain littered with garbage, and he considered that an affront not only to the land but to those who would follow in their path. He had an Indian's respect for the prairie, and since it supplied all of their needs he had taught them it should be cared for in return. There was so much about the man to admire, but she found it difficult to watch him that day without tears coming to her eyes for she longed for the tender affection he'd made it impossible for her to accept.
Erica watched Gabrielle drift away from their group as if the sparkling spring held little interest for her and as this was not the first time she'd seen her good friend become so withdrawn, she followed her.
''Would you like to go back to the wagon and talk? Something is bothering you and I don't mind giving you the benefit of my advice even though I know you'll probably disregard it." Erica gave Gabrielle an engaging smile.
Gabrielle shook her head, sending her auburn tresses flying in emphatic refusal. *'I always enjoy your company. Erica, but I've no more worries than you or any of the rest of us. I am sorry to disappoint you and I don't mean to be unsociable
, but I have no problems to discuss. She smiled with what she hoped would be convincing innocence, meanwhile thinking she could not possibly describe her dilemma. She could not admit she had fallen in love with Jason Royal, had even made love with him several times, but had refused to become his mistress since she could not bear the indifference with which he treated her. That was too shocking a secret to reveal, and she was not even remotely tempted to share it with Erica.
Frowning, Erica did not give up on her efforts. "Is it the men, is that it?"
"What men?" Gabrielle asked, confused by what appeared to be so irrelevant a question.
'The bachelors, of course. What other men could there be!"
Erica replied, as if the matter were too obvious to explain. "Marlene is still frantic about the fact that she lied about her age. Have you never heard her crying in the night? She is certain none of the men will want her and she wants so desperately to have a home and family she can't bear the thought that her dreams won't come true."
Cabrielle looked back toward the spring. Marlene was talking with Iris, or rather listening to Iris as that was the only way any of them could pretend to converse with the difficult young woman. "I'm sorry to hear that. Marlene is so sweet, she's very pretty too; but apparently she's had little attention from men and does not believe she deserves the happiness she craves."
"I can think of no way to help her, can you?" Erica asked hopefully. She'd found Cabrielle to be a very sensible young woman who could be counted on in any sort of emergency, and she regarded Marlene's state of mind as an emergency which needed immediate attention.