by Hamel, B. B.
After dinner comes a little playtime, and he’s in bed by seven thirty after I read to him from a few of his favorite books. Fortunately, he’s a good sleeper, so I don’t have to worry about that.
I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down onto the couch with a sigh. I have to go to sleep in a couple of hours myself and get up early with Ryan, and start this all over again. It feels daunting, but I smile to myself, thinking about the way he eats his broccoli, chomping off the tops first and then eating the stalks with noisy laughter.
I finish half my glass of wine, and just as I’m thinking about going to bed absurdly early, there’s a knock at my door. I glance at the clock, and it’s a little after eight. Frowning, I get up and walk over to it, looking out through the peephole.
Connor’s standing in the hallway, his nose and lip bloody and busted, one hand clutching his ribs.
For a second, I consider just ignoring him, but I know I can’t. I pull open the door and stare at him.
He grins at me. “Hey,” he says. “Am I a little early for lunch?”
“What the heck happened?”
He flinches. “I went to see Enzo.”
“Oh, no,” I groan.
“I didn’t find him,” he says quickly. “But a few of his guys weren’t so friendly.”
I shake my head and step aside. “Come on, let me take a look at you.”
He nods gratefully and follows me back into the apartment. I lead him into the bathroom, sit him on the toilet, and shut the door behind me.
“Strip,” I say.
He grins and immediately takes his shirt off. I watch his muscular chest and note some slight bruising on his ribs, which could be bad. He tosses the shirt aside and raises an eyebrow.
“I’m game if you are.”
I stare at him for a second, blinking fast, trying not to picture his rough hands on my body. “You want me to help you?” I manage to say.
“Yes, please,” he answers.
“Then cut it out.”
He just grins at me and I sigh. I check out his bruises and press down against him, but I don’t think his ribs are broken. “You should get these X-rayed,” I say to him.
“Can’t,” he answers. “No money.”
“No insurance?”
He shakes his head and I sigh again. This guy’s going to be some serious trouble, I can already tell. I hope he’s not Ryan’s real father, but there’s something in his mannerism that reminds me of the boy. I go over the rest of his injuries, mostly minor scrapes and bruises. His lip’s split but his nose isn’t broken, fortunately. He’ll have some cuts and bruises but nothing life-threatening.
“You got lucky,” I say.
“Nah. I learned how to take a beating a long time ago.”
I pause at that. “Why?”
“Older brothers.” He grins at me.
I roll my eyes. “Not the same thing.”
“You don’t have brothers, I take it.”
I can’t help but smile at him. “Put your shirt back on,” I say.
He does it, although I wish he wouldn’t. Connor is gorgeous, especially with his shirt off. Despite the bruises, I want to touch him, bite him, taste his skin.
“Thanks for helping me,” he says. “I’m looking for a job right now, but I’m low on funds.”
“What do you do?” I ask him.
“I had my own business back home, installing power lines, but now…” He trails off.
I cross my arms. “What did you give up to come out here?”
“A lot,” he says softly. “But honestly, I gave it all up the night Harper took Ryan from me.”
I don’t say anything. I can’t tell if he’s lying, but he’s really convincing. I can hear the pain in his voice.
“Why did she do it?” I ask him.
“I don’t know,” he answers. “I thought maybe you knew. You were with her at the end, right?”
“Right,” I say. “But she never mentioned you.”
That bothers him, I can tell. “We had a nice life,” he says. “We weren’t in love, not really, but it was a nice life. I could provide anyway. She just…” He trails off, looking at the bathroom tile floor.
“She just what?” I prompt him.
“She loved drugs more than me.” He looks up at me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I fell out of love before Ryan was even conceived. We were going through the motions at that point. I felt… responsible for her. I was afraid that if I left her, she’d backslide into her addiction and end up dead.”
“You weren’t responsible for her,” I say to him despite myself. I still don’t know if he’s bullshitting me, but this story… it feels too real.
“I know that,” he says. “But I felt it anyway. I still don’t understand what she was thinking, though, taking a baby in the middle of the night.”
His voice is taut with anger. “I don’t know, either,” I tell him. “She wouldn’t talk about it. Honestly, she came out of nowhere and passed pretty quickly. It was all a blur.”
“She left him with you?” he asks me.
I nod. “It’s what she said she wanted. I think because she knows I hate her family and would never let them have Ryan.”
He nods once at that. “We have something in common then.”
I watch him carefully as he stretches his legs. “Are you for real?” I ask him finally. “I mean, you’re not just some guy working for Enzo and his family, trying to trick me into giving Ryan away?”
“I’m for real,” he says. “And I’d never give Ryan over to those sadistic bastards.”
His eyes are fire and passion, and I finally feel something inside of me snap. I don’t exactly believe him, and I definitely can’t be sure that he’s Ryan’s father, but I’m starting to believe he has nothing to do with the Gallo family. His story might actually make sense. If he was with Harper, he’d have her family’s contact information, and I bet that’s how he tracked me down.
“How’d you get my address?” I ask him suddenly.
“Enzo gave me your name, and a cop friend of mine got the address.”
“Oh,” I say, not feeling good about that.
“He was helping me track down Ryan, so I think… I think he felt like he owed me. The cop, I mean.” He shrugs a little and winces at the pain.
We lapse into silence and I’m suddenly aware of being so close to him in this small bathroom. I can tell he’s thinking about something else completely, but I’m fully here with him, with his big body and his handsome face.
I turn away from him. “You should go,” I say finally.
“Leah,” he says softly. “Can I… can I see him?”
I turn back to him, whip-fast. “No,” I say. “He’s sleeping. One step at a time.”
He nods and looks away. “Sorry. I had to try.”
“Yeah,” I say, softening. “Now come on.”
He stands and follows me out into the living room. I open the front door and he hesitates.
“I’ll take a paternity test,” he says.
That surprises me. “Really?”
“Really. Whenever you want. Hell, let’s do it tomorrow.”
I take a sharp breath. “I don’t know.”
“What can it hurt? It’ll prove my story’s true, or maybe it’ll prove that I’m a liar. Either way, you’ll know.”
I watch him for a moment before nodding once. “Fine. I’ll set it up.”
“Thank you,” he says softly, looking relieved. “Really, thank you. I know this is all pretty crazy. I just… I just want my son.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I know.”
He nods once, his gaze lingering on me, before leaving. I shut the door behind him and lock it.
I sit back down on the couch and finish the rest of my wine in two big gulps. I’m a mess inside of contradictions and confusion. If we do this paternity test and he really is Ryan’s father, what happens then? Do I lose custody of him?
I don’t know
how I can let that happen, at least not right away. Harper left Ryan to me for a reason, and I can’t just let this strange man come back into Ryan’s life without at least trying to get to know him first. He’s handsome and charming, but clearly he’s a little dangerous. Normal, sane people don’t go and confront the mafia like that.
Still, I can’t stop thinking about him, even as I go to bed. I keep seeing the way he stripped off his shirt, that cocky grin he gave me, and it drives me absolutely wild. I don’t sleep much that night, not because of Ryan, but because of that handsome stranger Connor and all the things I wish I could let him taste.
7
Connor
I stare at the guy in teal latex gloves as he turns toward me. “Open wide,” he says.
I grin. “Not used to hearing a guy say that to me.”
He doesn’t smile back. “Please, Mr. Hunt.”
I sigh and open up. I glance over at Leah and she looks like she’s going to break her neck trying to crane it while she watches, as if I could somehow fake this part. The doctor swabs the inside of my cheek with this fancy looking Q-Tip, drops it into a plastic bag, and seals it.
“All done,” he says, glancing over at Leah. “We’ll get you the test results later today.”
“Really?” I ask. “Doesn’t it usually take weeks?”
He shakes his head. “I’m doing this as a favor to her,” he says. “Good luck.” He grabs his stuff and leaves the examination room.
I look over at Leah and she smiles back at me acidly. “Wish you had more time before we find out the results?”
“No,” I say, laughing as joy slowly fills me. “I’m actually really, really excited.”
That seems to surprise her and takes the venom out of her voice. “Doctor Roberts is good,” she says. “We’re lucky he’s willing to do this. Otherwise, we might get some random lab idiot that could easily mess this up.”
“Good,” I say, hopping up off the table. “I want the best.”
She looks a little skeptical. “You’re really not nervous?”
“Not at all,” I say, laughing again. I can’t seem to stop smiling, and for good reason.
I’m finally going to get to see my son, to actually spend time with him. I’m practically shaking with excitement. This is what I’ve been dreaming about for the past two years.
I step closer to Leah, my smile widening. I feel like I’m really seeing her for the first time. She’s technically working right now, wearing scrubs, her hair up in a tight bun… and she looks so fucking gorgeous I feel like I can’t keep myself from grabbing her right here.
“What should I do with Ryan first?” I ask her softly. “Take him to the park, maybe?”
She makes a face. “I’m not so sure that test is going to come back in your favor.”
“It will,” I say simply. “I’m not worried about that.”
“I am,” she replies, meeting my gaze.
I smile back at her. “I guess a better question is, what am I going to do with you?”
She cocks her head, staring back into my eyes, and I swear she licks her lips. I step closer to her, aware that we’re totally alone in this little room, barely any space separating us.
“Even if you are the father, I still adopted him.”
“I know that,” I say. “I don’t want to take him away from you, not when you’ve been doing such a good job.”
Her eyes flash and she flushes. “We’re just starting to bond.”
“I know. I can see it. You never asked for any of this, did you?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know what Harper was thinking. I mean, I just never imagined being a mom before, you know?”
“I totally understand,” I say softly. “I didn’t imagine being a father until I was one.”
She seems nervous suddenly, and I can see why: I’m standing inches away from her, and my body’s practically humming with desire and excitement.
“I should get back to work,” she says, but she doesn’t go anywhere.
“You’re only missing one thing,” I say, ignoring that.
“What?” she asks.
“A daddy.”
She raises her eyebrows. “For Ryan?”
My grin gets bigger. “No… for you.”
She stares at me then pushes me with both hands, making me take a step back. I laugh as she fumes, shaking her head.
“Don’t be an ass,” she says.
“I’m not,” I reply quickly. “I’m serious. You’re so pent-up and angry and stressed. I know I can help take care of you.”
“You don’t know a thing about me.” She turns toward the door.
“You’re taking care of my son and loving him like his own mother,” I say. “That’s all I really need to know.”
She hesitates, her hand on the doorknob. “Yeah, well, we’ll see if he’s your son or not.” She quickly opens the door and leaves the room.
I lean up against the table and take a deep breath, my smile spreading out wide again. I’m not upset that Leah’s kept me away from Ryan. I honestly can’t really blame her. Once I sat down and thought about it, I’m actually happy that she’s keeping me at arm’s length. That just means she’s taking good care of Ryan and putting his needs first. I’m actually really glad that she’s being so hard on me, especially considering the circumstances.
The Gallos are still out there, and they still want Ryan, too.
8
Leah
I can’t stop thinking about Connor. As much as I hate it, and as much as I want it to stop, he just keeps coming into my mind.
I keep seeing that look he gave me in the exam room. I keep hearing his voice, telling me that he can be my daddy and take care of me. I keep picturing exactly what that means.
I wanted it. I wanted him to push me down onto the table and fuck me until I couldn’t walk. I know it’s crazy, he’s a stranger, but the attraction is real and it’s intense. I’m resisting it because I don’t trust him, but I don’t know how long I can hold out for.
And I don’t know how long I have to. He was incredibly confident about the paternity test, and only an idiot would think that they could somehow beat their DNA. If he’s that confident, it’s because he knows he’s Ryan’s father for sure.
At least he thinks he is. Who knows what Harper was doing while she was with him. I still can’t rule out Harper sleeping with another man and telling Connor that he’s the father.
Clearly though, as the day wears on, I’m starting to realize that I don’t think he’s working for the Gallos anymore. That idea was probably far-fetched to begin with, but the way he just showed up randomly was pretty suspicious, especially using Enzo’s name. It put me on edge right away.
I’m nervous and excited all day. I don’t know what I want the test to say. On the one hand, I’m just starting to bond with Ryan, and having his father come into the picture is going to complicate things immensely. But on the other, if Connor is the father, that means he’s not a liar, and maybe I can actually give in to all my desperate desires.
No, I can’t think like that. I can’t be selfish. I have to think of Ryan’s best interests first, but I just don’t know what those are.
I’m conflicted by the time Doctor Roberts tracks me down at the end of the day.
“Results,” he says, eyeing me. He holds out an envelope. “Sure you want to know?”
“I’m sure,” I say, taking it from him.
“Mind if I give you some advice?”
I shrug. “Go for it.”
“Open it in front of him. Watch his face when he hears the results. That’ll tell you a lot.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Do you have a lot of experience with this?”
His grin is huge. “I love Maury. See you later.” He walks off, chuckling to himself, and I sigh. Freaking doctors, they’re all so weird.
But I decide to listen to him. As much as I want to tear the envelope open and look at the results, I resist the urge. I’m going to do this
with Connor to really see his real reaction. I guess I could peek now, but part of me doesn’t want to ruin the surprise.
I tuck the envelope into my bag and head out. I stop at the daycare and pick up Ryan. He sits in his car seat, looking placidly out the window.
“How was your day?” I ask him.
He doesn’t answer, just shrugs a little. That’s more response than I normally get, so I consider it a win.
We drive back to my apartment. I park and bring him inside. We go through our normal routine, dinner, playtime, storytime, and bedtime. He’s in a good mood, so things go smooth and he’s asleep right on time.
I head back into the kitchen, grab my phone, pour myself some wine, and call Connor.
“Got the results?” he asks instead of greeting me.
“I got them,” I say.
“And?”
“I want you to come over.”
He hesitates. “Of course you do,” he says, and I flinch at the smugness.
“Not for that,” I respond. “I just think we should read them together.”
“Okay,” he says. “I’ll be over in a few.”
“Sounds good.” I hang up the phone and sip some wine, feeling anxious all over.
What am I thinking, inviting him over like this? This could go really, really wrong. What if it says he’s not the father and he flips out? I’ll be all alone with him, and I don’t know what he’s capable of. He got into a fight with the mafia recently, so he could have a horrible temper.
But honestly, I’m not worried about that. I’m thinking more about the way he might kiss me, touch me, his hands in my hair, his lips on my neck. I go back into my bedroom and get changed, putting on something cuter but casual.
As I finish getting changed and letting my hair down, I hear a knock at my door. My heart spikes and excitement pools through me. I can’t believe the way I’m reacting to this. I should be running away.
Instead, I’m running right to him.
I go out into the living room. “Coming,” I say softly. I grab the door and pull it open. “You’re easy,” I say, but stop and stare.