by Xana Jordan
“You all have a good time camping?” Granny asks as I set the groceries on the kitchen counter, Papaw already making himself at home in his recliner that she hates so much.
“It was so much fun, Gran. It may take me another week to recuperate from it,” I laugh on my way out for more bags. Having grabbed the last few bags from the car, I place them on the counter and begin helping put them away.
“When does school start back for Cade? Next week?” she asks, putting away the cold items in the fridge.
Not really wanting to open up that can of worms and talk about my feelings on it I give her a quick ‘yeah’, then turn away from her to put the canned goods in the pantry. Trying to decide what I really want to do this summer is hard, but I know there isn’t much time left before it will be too late to change my plans. Maybe I’m overreacting, but being around Cade feels like it’s the only safe place I have. Yeah, being at home with my grandparents makes me feel safe, but being with him is just different somehow. Like I can really relax and just be with him. When did life get so complicated?
“What’s wrong?” she asks, concern evident in her voice.
“Nothing.” I walk over to the counter to grab more groceries to put away, but she doesn’t let up. I knew I couldn’t pull one over on her.
“Stacy Ann, look at me,” she demands, no compromise in her voice whatsoever, so I do as I’m told. “I know something’s wrong, or at the very least upset about something, so quit avoiding me and get it all out before it drives you nuts.” She crosses her arms giving me that look. The one that is so blank I can’t tell whether she is pissed off or doesn’t care. It’s the most frustrating thing she does.
“Gran,” I begin, only to have her arch her brow, silently warning me not to mess with her. Releasing a deep breath, I spill my guts about almost everything. How I’m glad to be at home and have time to relax, and that I love the idea of working this summer, the idea of being able to do something good exciting me.
“But?”
“I’m wondering if I shouldn’t take classes at SAU instead of here at the South Arkansas Community College campus. I’m just conflicted, I guess. I just kinda feel a pull to be there this summer. I know,” I sigh, “I’m being silly, but I can’t seem to help myself.”
She stands on the other side of the counter watching me for a lot longer than I am comfortable with, and just when I’m about to turn to put more canned goods away, she says, “Well, maybe you could do both. Have you even considered that option?”
“What do you mean, do both?”
Her face softens with a gentle smile as she explains, “Maybe you can work with your school and work schedules to make them fit each other. That way, you can work here and have time to drive to Magnolia for whatever classes you’d want to take. I’m fairly certain the hospital can work with you on that. Have you thought about even trying for a job at the hospital there? As much as your Papaw and I would love to have you here with us, we just want you to do whatever it is you need to be happy.” The way my grandparents have given every ounce of themselves to me my entire life never fails to make me speechless, feeling so terribly undeserving. They are the best parents, grand or otherwise, I could ever have.
“You really wouldn’t mind if I took a class or two there instead of at SACC?” I ask, just trying to reassure my nerves that I’m not upsetting their plans with me for the summer or anything. I’d hate myself if I did anything to hurt them.
She reaches over the countertop to take my hands in hers as her gaze softens to the one that always make me smile inside. “Oh, honey, of course we wouldn’t mind. It’s really you that will have to drive back and forth all the time, but if that’s what you want to do, we have no problem with it. It’s not like you’ll be over there all alone since Cade and Noel will be living there. Who knows, you might even be able to ride with Xana sometimes, depending on when her classes are. You did tell me she was taking classes this summer to get caught up, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, she is,” is all I can say, my brain somehow unable to find the right words I want to say.
“Well, there ya go. Look at the classes and get it done. There’s plenty of time this week to get everything all worked out, so quit worrying and do whatcha need to do.” Squeezing my hands quickly, she begins putting the remaining groceries away, leaving me standing at the counter staring after her.
The remainder of the day has me taking care of my laundry, reorganizing my room, and cooking dinner. I figured since I was free, they deserved to be taken care of for a change. Thank goodness I always helped Granny in the kitchen while I was growing up. She’s taught me lots of tricks and twist to make recipes better than the original. Nothing tastes better than Granny’s version of chicken and dumplings, and I love showing her what I’ve learned - even improved upon.
“This sure is good, girl. I think your granny taught ya good,” Papaw compliments me on dinner, of which he’s on his third helping.
“Save room for dessert, Papaw. I made your favorite,” I wink at Granny when his eyes go wide after looking down at his half-full third serving.
Granny breaks out giggling, and he scowls at her. “It’s not funny, woman. If I eat too much I can’t go water your flower garden later. I’ll be asleep instead.” That got her to shut up, making me laugh at her.
“You two just enjoy it, and eat what you want. I’m cleaning up, too.” I smile at Papaw, getting up to get dessert out of the fridge for him - Cherry Cream Pie, his favorite.
“What do you want?” He eyes me suspiciously, stealing a questioning look at Granny in the process. I can’t help but laugh at how cute he looks.
“Nothing, I promise! I just wanted to do it. I love you,” I hug him around the neck after placing the pie on the table beside us.
“Well, I, for one, am going to savor every minute of this,” Granny proclaims, digging into the pie before Papaw can eat it all.
“Woman, don’t you eat all of that. That was made for me.”
“Guess you shouldn’t eaten so much dinner then, should you?” She makes me laugh at him scowling at her. Dinner around our house is rarely boring.
I love them so much.
“No, please. I’ll be better. I don’t wanna do that.” No matter what I try, it doesn’t help me.
“Sssh, baby girl. Everything’s alright.”
“Yeah, baby, be still so we can talk a little,” the second stranger croons into my neck, his tight grip on my arms digging in my skin. Where did he come from?
Suddenly I’m being shaken, an alarmed voice calling my name. “Stacy girl, wake up. It’s just a dream. Wake up for Papaw.” Wait, I’m at home? Where was I? Oh, crap, I was having another nightmare.
I’ve been home for two weeks since vacation with Cade’s family, and I’ve returned back to nightmares and fear I can’t exactly explain. So far, I’ve been able to hide them from my grandparents, until now. “Sorry, I woke you.” It’s the only explanation I can give, scared to give away too much.
“Don’t you apologize for that, young lady. Your Papaw and I are always up at least once during the night. We heard you dreaming about being attacked, honey. You were talking and we could hear what you said,” Granny runs her hand over my tousled hair, smiling reassuringly at me. She wraps an arm around my shoulders in comfort, and asks, “How long have you been having these dreams?” For months, but I can’t tell her all of that. She’ll worry more than she already is.
“Just a few weeks. I usually go running when they keep me awake. I don’t really remember what they are about when I wake up, just that I am scared by them. Running usually helps calm my mind.”
“Stacy girl, you can’t just go running around the neighborhood during the middle of the night all alone! I’d better not hear about you doing that again, or I just might tan your hide,” Papaw warns, serious as a heart attack, as he sits down on the other side of me. He hardly ever uses that voice.
“Papaw is right. If you need to go run, then we’ll get you a treadmi
ll or something you can do inside where you’ll be safe.”
“You don’t have...” I protest, only to be shushed by Papaw.
“Sssh it up, missy. I’ll do whatever I want, and I want to keep you safe, so stop your arguing.” Well, I guess I’ve been told.
Laughing at his gentle ‘angry’ face, I give in. “Alright, Papaw.”
“Good girl,” he kisses my cheek, and stands from the bed.
“You try and go back to sleep, but if you can’t, please don’t leave the house.” Granny’s concern makes me feel guilty and loved, all at the same time.
“Promise,” I whisper, hugging them both before they leave. It’s three in the morning, and sleep is futile at this point, so I pick up the phone and call Cade.
“Hello,” his scratchy, sleep voice greets me.
“Hey,” I say softly, unashamed to have woken him up. I need him.
“What’s wrong, babe?” My tone makes him more alert, instantly worrying about me.
“I just needed to hear your voice,” I confess, sitting against the headboard, knees under my chin.
“Okay,” he relents, suddenly understanding why I called. I never can fool him, at least not for long.
“How was your day?” I know it’s idle chit chat, but it helps me forget the dreams I can’t remember, the nightmares.
“Stayed pretty busy with ball camp stuff all day. It was good.” I can hear him shuffling in bed, the phone moving around as he gets settled.
“That’s good. I know how much you like working with the younger kids.”
“Yeah, they were great today.” I can hear from his tone that he’s smiling as he speaks. Watching him help kids play baseball always makes me smiles right along with him. He really has a way with teaching them.
We carry on this way, talking about the tiny things that happened in our day, the funny things we’ve seen or heard, getting lost in simply having a conversation with the other. Before I realize how long we’ve talked, I’m yawning into the phone, sleep finally catching up with me.
“There’s my sleepy girl,” Cade encourages me. “You get back to sleep, and call me again if you need me.”
“I’ll always need you, Jensen.”
“I’m always here, Scarlett. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Completely.”
Replaying his last words in my head, I fall back asleep, dreaming of my Jensen on a beach, carrying me on his back.
Noel and I were so busy with ball and house renovations that June flew by before we knew it. We’ve gotten a lot accomplished on the inside, so we’ll be able to focus more on the outside when school starts without having to worry about living in a construction zone. The cooler weather certainly is a bonus.
Little League ball is almost over, just two weeks of tournaments left, and Noel and I are definitely ready for the weekend break the Fourth of July brings. “When’s your last game today?” I ask Noel while holding my side of a shelf he is securing to the wall.
“Not sure. High school aged baseball games. You know how long those can last. What about you?” He screws the last screw in place and stands back to check placement before working on my side.
“Elementary aged girls softball. Last game starts at eight thirty, so I should be outta there by ten at the latest. Thank goodness for time limits,” I joke, holding steady while he works on securing my side of the shelf into the wall.
“Lucky you. Those high school parents get so out of hand, half the time I wish we had police walking around just to keep the peace,” he grumbles, finished with his installation.
“Hey, some of those tee-ball parents are awful, too. I hate it for those kids. It must be awful being yelled at for not playing well, when you just like to play for fun.” We were both lucky enough to have parents who never got out of hand when we played sports. They were always supportive, no matter how well, or not, we performed.
“Ain’t that the truth. I swear, my kids will never be treated that way. Takes all the fun out of being a kid,” he promises, taking me off guard for a moment. Hearing him talk like that is something I’m not used to hearing.
Closing the closet door behind us, we leave our tools on the spare bedroom’s floor, not needing them until after the weekend holiday. “You want to drive back to El Do together in the morning, or take different vehicles?” He looks my way, wiping the sweat from his brow with the hem of his t-shirt, and moving from the room.
“Doesn’t really matter to me. We’ll be together most of the time anyway, at Xana’s house or one of ours.” I shrug, wiping the sweat from my own face.
“I guess we can take your truck in case Dad wants me to bring back any stuff for the house when we leave.” We enter the kitchen to get something to drink and wash up before eating a quick, late lunch. It’s almost time to head for the ball fields, and we won’t get a chance to eat dinner until much later.
“Makes sense,” I agree, handing him a glass of water. “Besides, Xana may want to bring more frilly stuff to decorate your room with,” teasing him again about her obsession with making our house less like a man cave - her words, not mine.
“She can do whatever she wants, and she knows it. I really don’t care.” He takes one of the sandwiches he made and hands it to me. He made a large one, but I’m so hungry I’ll probably eat this in less than a minute, two tops.
“I’m kinda surprised she hasn’t moved in yet,” I joke, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Neither of us would have a problem with that, but our parents aren’t exactly okay with her being here on a permanent basis, at least not right now. I think her brother has more of an issue with it than her parents do. I haven’t a clue what the hell his problem is, but he’s about to push his limits with me. I don’t care if he is her brother, I’ll put an end to it.”
“What’s he doing now?” He takes the time to finish chewing, taking a drink to wash it down, before answering.
“Making rude comments, about pretty much anything, and just being more aggravating than normal. At least that’s all she’s telling me, but sometimes I wonder if there’s more from her behavior.”
“Her parents haven’t said anything to him?” I find that hard to believe. They’d never stand for him acting like that.
“He’s too smart to say things around them, the asshole. Gets her all upset and then just leaves. Swear on my bat that if he doesn’t stop soon, I’ll kick his ass like I did his old friend, Jeff’s.” We finish our early dinner and begin to clean up the kitchen.
“Good thing Stace doesn’t have a brother or sister to put up with,” I remark, putting the bread back in the fridge.
“No, you just have her papaw, and you can’t kick his ass for any reason,” he laughs loudly, clearly amused by his own words. He has a good point, though. Jerk.
Leaving him laughing to himself, I head for the shower determined to use up all his hot water. He should be all chuckled out by then. Now, I’m the one who thinks it’s funny.
We’ve made good time back to El Dorado this morning, needing to arrive early enough to help get things ready for the Fourth tomorrow. We’re having a snack food potluck dinner tonight at my parents’ house with Stacy’s family, everyone joining at the Bradford’s tomorrow for barbecuing and firework gazing from their backyard in the evening, so I’m sure Noel and I have our work cut out for us.
Parking in the Bradford’s drive, I follow Noel inside for a few minutes to tell everyone hello before heading home myself. “There are my boys,” Mrs. Daniels greets us, “Come give me a hug!” Smothering us in hugs is her specialty, only rivaled by my own mother.
“Hey, Mom,” we both return her hug simultaneously, until she gasps for air. Laughing, we release her before getting smacked on the arm in retaliation.
“You boys are too big to hug me like that anymore. You’re gonna break my back one of these days.” She links her arms through ours and walk us to join the others.
As soon as we step foot in the kitchen, Noe
l’s attacked by a redheaded whirlwind, nearly knocking him down on impact. They might not have seen each other for a few days, but he really should have been prepared for that.
“Have mercy, Xana, the boy just barely got here. Let him come in before you tackle him to death,” her mom admonishes, smiling anyway.
We take a seat at the kitchen table to chat, getting our list of instructions for the next two days. Hopefully holidays will get easier after we’ve done them a few times. If not, Stace and I may have to find an excuse to be absent from the madness. Armed with a list of things to pick up for my mom, I say my goodbyes and work my way home.
Stacy is at my house when I arrive, meeting me on the front porch. “Hey,” she smiles, hugging me when I reach her location on the porch steps.
“Hey, babe. Has my family driven you out of the house already?” I tease.
Grinning back at me she shakes her head, “Nah, I came out to wait for you.” My frown prods her to elaborate. “Xana texted.” Those two and their communication. It’s hard to ever surprise them.
“Nothing gets past you two, does it?” Laughing, I kiss her temple, turning to walk us inside.
“Nope,” she declares, popping the last sound like bubble gum. “We’re just that badass.”
“Yeah, that you are.” I look down at her happy face and grin. I haven’t seen her smile this much in the past few months, except for when we were on vacation with my parents.
“Need help carrying things inside?” she nods toward my truck and the door I left open.
“I wouldn’t turn you down,” I tease in her ear, biting down on her earlobe before pulling her toward the truck behind me.
Two trips was all it took to get my pickup unloaded, everything Mom needed taken care of, and I was set free to spend some time with Stace before setting up the extra tables for food in the dining room. “You two can go relax for a bit. It’s gonna be a little while before I need you to help with anything else.” She smiles at us, shooing us out of her way.
“I can help you finish up things here,” Stace volunteers, but is rejected when Mom turns her toward me, pushing us both from the kitchen.