Miss Wilkins
‘What an angelic face!—but what a form!’
This lady very lately resided in Princes Street, Bloomsbury, at a midwife’s. She is not above twenty, and has a very engaging countenance, with fine, dark, melting eyes, and very regular teeth. Her person does not entirely correspond; she is short and very crooked; but she has a certain latent charm that more than compensates for any deformity of body. In a word, take her all in all, she is a very good piece; and, if you can forget she is hunch-backed, she is a little Venus. (1773)
Sally Str—on, at a Grocer’s in Little Wild Street
‘Nor bars nor turnpikes shall my way impede’
The character of this lady is very singular, having been upon the town near six months without ever having been fairly entered. She is so conformed as to require a peculiar method of cohabitation with her, a bar being naturally in the way, which causes a kind of obstruction; without fixing her in a certain position, no one can perform what he would wish to do. Her face is extremely agreeable, good eyes, fine teeth, about the middling size, and inclinable to be fat. She might easily pass for a maidenhead, if she kept her own secrets; but she seems to be too honest, or rather too simple to deceive anyone in that particular. Her price us optional, consequently every thing is made very easy, excepting her commodity. (1773)
Miss Jordan, No.20, Little Wild Street
As a remarkable woman, we could not pass over this lady, for she is an absolute curiosity, weighing, at least seventeen or eighteen stone, and considering that this is no light weight to carry, she is very nimble—we must confess we should be very loath to trust ourselves with her in bed lest we should be overlaid, or that she should chuse to place herself in a particular posture, and we should be that way smothered; she is very fair, and has a face somewhat resembling a full moon, she is always neat and clean in her dress, and is said to have a particular natural curiosity, equally remarkable with her person, either of which are open to the inspection of the curious on reasonable terms. (1779)
SMALL AND TALL
Jenny Dorrington, Russell Street
This little lass is of the pigmy size; she bolts in and out of the Rose and Ben Johnson’s Head, like a rabbet in a warren. Her hair, eyes and eye-brows, are nearly black: she is neatly made, but of a sallow complexion, and a face that won’t bear much examining. Her limbs, tho’ small, are very neat; and as her size is very uncommon, we would recommend her to some old virtuosi, to keep in a case, and produce her for the entertainment of his friends, or for his own private occasions, as he shall think fit. (1761)
Miss Sims, No.82, Queen Ann Street East
‘Like some fair flower, whose leaves all colours yeild,
And opening is with rarest odours fill’d
As lofty pines o’er top the lowly reed,
So does her graceful height most nymphs exceed’
Miss Sims is fair and tall, and if well paired would be a very proper mould to cast grenadiers in; is about twenty, and though rather above the common height, is not ungraceful nor awkward. She knows her value and will seldom accept of less than two guineas, which indeed are well-bestowed. It is remarkable that her lovers are most commonly of a diminutive size. The vanity of surmounting such a fine tall woman in, doubtless, an incentive to many, to so unmatch themselves, that they are content to be like sweet-bread on a breast of veal. Yet, not withstanding her size, we hear her low countries are far from being capacious, but like a well-made boot, is drawn on the leg with some difficulty, and sits too close as to give great pleasure to the wearer; it is about two years since her boot has been accustomed to wear legs in it, and though often soaled9 yet never wears out. (1788)
SISTERS
Miss Sells, in King Street, Covent Garden
‘The passion love unto their fancy brings
The prettiest notions and the sofest things’
These ladies have so long figured in private that they might arraign us of partiality if we did not honor them with a place. ‘Tis true, they have often favoured us with their company, and ‘twas with secret pleasure we have beheld them when we have had the honor to wait behind their chairs at our house; with how much composure they have stood the most indecent attacks made upon their persons and understandings; our brother Robinson (a pimp at the Fountain in Katherine Street) had often remarked his agreeable neighbours to us, when they lived in Katherine Street, and their father kept a jeweler’s shop; a poor old German, whose heart they broke, and he, in a fit of insanity, tied himself up in his garters, when they lodged in Great Queen Street, after having left their house in the aforesaid street. After his death they removed to the house they now inhabit in King Street, with their aged mother, who, poor woman, is no more than a cypher, having no will of her own, being obliged to her daughters for her support; she answers, however, their ends, and I suppose they find it to their purpose to give her victuals, or else they are so good oeconomists the old lady would long ago have been sent to the workhouse.
Were we to enumerate half their intrigues since their commencement, it would fill two pretty novels for Mr. Noble’s Library10, and therefore much exceed the bounds of our work: the eldest of them is a good shewy girl, rather going down hill; she has, to be sure, gone thro’ a great deal of service and taken some rough medicines to cause abortion, which have pretty much affected her, yet notwithstanding we give her the preference.
The youngest is not so tall as her sister, her complexion somewhat better, for the good girl let Nature take its course and has a fine daughter, who lives at home with them, tho’ under the sanction of a young lady as a boarder. The eldest cannot be less than thirty, the other perhaps, three years younger; they are good company, and indeed not despicable as to understanding: they have seen a good deal of the town, and can superficially talk on most subjects, but the theatre is their favourite. If our readers will call, when sauntering by their shop, and buy a trifle, they will allow part of what we have said to be true, and a present, well timed, and a jaunt into the country will make them acquainted with all their secrets.
N.B. They understand a jilting, and will fight shy a long time, a coup de maitre will therefore be necessary. (1773)
Mrs. Hendridge, Moorfields
‘Like Heav’n, she takes no pleasure to destroy’
Sister-in-law to a lady in these lists, named Fowler, whose brother she married, unfortunately for him; for the poor fellow scarce ever after knew what happiness was. He got madam with child before the ceremony, as she says; and thereon she went to his house, (a brassfounder in Houndsditch), and insisted upon not quitting it, alledging it was hers and that she would remain wherever he was. Her friends by promising him a sum of money, (which they never gave him) made up the match. She launched out into all the fashionable follies, and soon melted all her husband’s brass into caps, handkerchiefs and aprons; he became a bankrupt, and she has sent him into the country to his relations to graze, that she might take her swing of pleasure more uncontrouled.
She is not so lusty as her sister Fowler, whom we have mentioned; a little pock-marked: geentel, tho’ not so handsome; and has a neat leg and foot; her hair light-coloured, and her eyes grey. She has a good deal of life and spirits in company, and is agreeable and chatty.
Her sister and she always hunt together, and may be often met with at the bread and butter manufactories11 at Islington, but more especially at White-Conduit House, with the master of which Mrs. Fowler had an intrigue. As they are of quite a different make, there seem policy in their being together, as they cannot interfere with each other’s swains, and it answers several other purposes which they know well to turn to their advantage.
We wish they would not endeavor at the dress of the ladies in the Stand, with such bunches of ribbons, such tawdry dresses, and boldness in their countenances. If they mean to have citizens for their admirers, their very looks are enough to frighten them from the beginning of a conversation. (1773)
LADIES OF THE TON
Miss Ledger, next
to the Bookseller’s, Mayfair
It is impossible to account for the peculiarities of some people, as for the different formation of fishes and animals, for this reason we believe and shall not find one person able to give an explanation of this lady’s behaviour, for as we never understood, that an old man was an agreeable bedfellow for a young woman, we are exceeding surprised that she should support one merely through inclination. She has a number of visitors, some of them men of fashion, who enable her to live in a very elegant manner; she dresses in a stile absolutely grand, and is a constant frequenter of public places, especially Ranelagh,12 where she is very well known. She is commonly attended when she walks abroad, by a little black foot-boy, who carries her lap dog on a fine crimson cushion, which is curiously ornamented with tassels. She is very fond of reading plays, and will continue sometimes repeating passages from them for an hour altogether; she likewise places incoherent rhimes together on the subject of love, and is highly pleased to hear any person commend the poetry. She is about twenty-three, has an elegant gait and good eyes; her face is handsome, but she uses too much paint; her favours are very difficult to gain without a very handsome present. (1779)
Mrs. Deville, No.7, Holland Street, Soho
‘Here’s a lot for Sk—r, or Ch—ie fit
To hold up and knock down as they shall hit’
This is a first rate Thais, who, though in good keeping by a Count, whose name she has now taken, has no sort of objection to a bank note as being a great patriot, she hold Britannia, even upon paper, in the highest estimation. However, a banker’s note of only five guineas carries with it a degree of temptation not to be refused, when out of competition with one of the first class. Mrs. D—lle is a great frequenter of auctions, and being a particular admirer of old china, she upon these occasions commonly makes acquaintance with some connoisseur, whom she desires to bid for her; the consequence is, the lot is entered in his name, and to prevent him further trouble, she takes it home in her carriage. This lady is about twenty two years of age, tall, genteel and very agreeable, though a little pitted with the smallpox, but this is not visible at any distance, especially after she has paid due attention to her toilet. Her eyes are dark and very expressive, her disposition extremely chatty, and has entirely surmounted that mauvaise houte, for which the English have by foreigners been frequently stigmatized. Indeed, from the circumstance of her auction manoeuvres, it is almost superfluous to mention, that she is a woman of uncommon address, possessed of a small share of modest assurance, very necessary to carry adventures in the fortune of the world, of both sexes, through it with success. Her sideboard of plate is said to be very valuable, as she has occasionally increased it at sales, by her uncommon adroitness in forming good connections in a hurry. We think Mrs. D—‘s intrigues may afford some useful hints to the frail sister-hood in her elevated line. (1790)
SELECT SERVICES
Oral Sex
Miss Noble, No. 10, Plow Court, Fetter Lane
‘She darted a sweet kiss,
The wanton prelude to a farther bliss
Such as might kindle frozen appetite
And fire e’en wasted nature with delight’
She is really a fine girl, with a lovely fair complexion, a most engaging behaviour and affable disposition. She has a most consummate skill in reviving the dead; for as she loves nothing but active life, she is happy when she can restore it: and her tongue has a double charm, both when speaking and when silent; for the tip of it, properly applied, can talk eloquently to the heart, whilst no sound pervades the ear and send such feelings to the central spot, that immediately demands the more noble weapon to close the melting scene. (1788)
Miss H—lsb—ry, No. 14, Goodge Street
‘This Pleasant vineyard is well stor’d with fruit,
And many a plant here has taken root’.
This young lady is finely made, with a prepossessing countenance, expressive dark eyes, fine hands and arms, and proclaims the woman of consequence fit for the first rate company, into which she is often introduced. Nevertheless, having got the better of that mauvaise houte, with which our ladies are so much accused, with what reason it is difficult to say, she is careless about her expressions and neither shudders at a double entendre, or trembles at a single entendre: in fine, she may, in more senses than one, be pronounced a great linguist. A velvet salute of this kind, had nearly disgusted Lord L—; but having got over the first impression, he found that her tongue was attuned to more airs than one; but she never admits either of her mouths to be play’d with for less than two guineas. She appears very genteel, and is supposed to be in keeping by a Mr. Grace of Duke Street, St. James. (1789)
Flagellation
Miss Loveborn, No.32, George Street, Queen Anne Street East
If we are not misinformed, this lady is one of the daughters of fortune, having a pretty good income left her by an old flagellant, who she literally flogged out of the world, and will probably more, as she is an expert at this manoeuvre as Mrs. Birch herself, of Chapel Street, Soho. Indeed she is very happily constructed for this bizarrerie, as the French call it, being of middle size and well set together, and never leaves off, ‘till her patient (for patient he must be in our opinion,) is completely gratified. Such gratification, good Lord keep us from! But it has been observed by a great Philosopher that there must be characters of every complexion and disposition to fill up the great chasm of nature; the chain of individual existence would not be complete if there were a single link wanting; and Miss L—n is so attentive to her interests, that she will never let a link escape her, so which she thinks she has any claim.
Oeconomy is seldom a virtue practiced by females of her profession but we can produce an instance of it in this lady, which is as whimsical as it is extraordinary. The chandler’s shop which furnishes her with brooms, her chief birchen instrument of delight, has agreed to furnish her in turn with tea, coffee, butter, bread and all other articles sold in the shop at a considerable reduced price on condition that she does not purchase brooms any where else; and it is generally believed it is a very advantageous contract for both parties. (1790)
Miss Lee, Berwick Street, Soho
‘Oh pray mamma! Let me down!
You will find me the best boy in town;
I’ll never while I live offend,
I promise you, you will find me mend!’
This young lady is tall and genteel, and about seventeen, with sandy colour hair, and fine blue eyes that are delicious; her complexion is delicate and fair, but we cannot refrain saying, she has a piece of the termagant about her, which however, she qualifies with a whimsicality of humour that renders it supportable. She was debauched by a young counsellor, from a boarding school near town, where she was apprentice. Her mistress surprising her one day with a certain naughty book, took her into the whipping room, where having tied her on a horse that is always there for the use of correction, she whipped her with a large rod, made of green birch, till through fatigue, the rod dropped from her hands; the counsellor meeting with her a few days after, she told him how she had been used by her governess for the book he had lent her; he took immediately a room for her, and visited her till he went to Ireland. She found herself for some time very much embarrassed, till meeting with a merchant of the city, who is fond of the rod, she soon appeared again at the theatres, which she frequents very much.
She dresses always very elegantly, and in the season she is very seldom without the most enormous nosegay of luscious flowers, which she generally wears very high on the left side of her bosom, having discovered that many gentlemen have a great partiality for that effeminate ornament. She is constantly visited by amateurs of birch discipline, being always furnished with brooms of green birch and of the best quality, and is always very happy to see any friend that feels himself inclinable to spend three or four guineas in her company. (1793)
Rear-entry
Betsy Miles, at a Cabinet maker’s Old Street, Clerkenwell
‘Which w
ay you will and please you’
Known in this quarter for her immense sized breasts, which she alternately makes use of with the rest of her parts, to indulge those who are particularly fond of a certain amusement. She is what you may call, at all; backwards and forewards, are all equal to her, posteriors not excepted, nay indeed, by her own account she has most pleasure in the latter. Very fit for a foreign Macaroni—entrance at the front door tolerably reasonable, but nothing less than two pound for the back way. As her person has nothing remarkable one way or the other, we shall leave her for those of the Italian gusto. (1773)
Bisexual
Mrs. Forbes, Back of Yeoman’s Row, Brumpton
‘Tis now before you, and the pow’r to chuse’
Mrs. Forbes takes her name from a General so called, to whom she pretends she was married; but we give no more credit to this than we should to any part of her own story, had she the telling of it. She is about 36, very much pitted with the small-pox, light brown hair, rather above the common size. How such a piece of goods first came to our market we are at a loss to guess. We have indeed heard that she lived some time servant in Wapping; and, as the tars are good natured, free-hearted fellows, and, after long voyages, are not very nice in their choice, they might perhaps have done her a good-natured action; this is the only way we can account for it, every other seems absurd to us. Her hands and arms; her limbs indeed, in general, are more calculated for the milk-carrier, than the soft delights of love; however, if she finds herself but in small estimation with our sex, she repays them the compliment, and frequently declares that a female bedfellow can give more real joys than ever she experienced with the male part of the sex: perhaps her demands in that way may be so great she never found a man able to supply her; this is but a natural conclusion when a lady is remarked for paying visits to a fellow famous only for ideotism. The proverb indeed is on her side, and perhaps she has found it true. The ingenious author of the Woman of Pleasure13 has given us a noble picture of it in the foolish nosegay man.
The Covent Garden Ladies: The Extraordinary Story of Harris's List Page 17