by SE Jakes
Definitely love at first sight for him. For Law, too, even though it took the bastard a while to admit it.
He felt as nervous as he did that morning but he refused to put it off any longer—went back inside and began to unpack the boxes, dealing with the food first.
The house had three bedrooms and baths upstairs. Downstairs housed an eat-in kitchen and a good-sized living room and smaller den, all furnished courtesy of the CIA and actually better than most. But it wouldn’t be big enough for the three of them—he wasn’t sure any place would be big enough for that dynamic.
He shoved the last of the food in the fridge and turned to see Law and Paulo standing there. They’d been in the living room for a while, probably talking about what to say to him, as evidenced by the way Paulo started in immediately.
“How long are we here for?” he asked.
“A few days—through the snow.” He dug into his pocket and handed Paulo a throwaway phone Tomcat had packed, as promised. “Call your boss, get the time off. Don’t tell them what’s happening.”
Paulo nodded, took the phone and went into the next room while Styx continued to unpack. “There are clothes here for all of us. Sneakers and boots, too.”
Law didn’t say anything, continued to watch him carefully, but the wary truce from the night before was giving way.
Styx tried to ward it off at the pass. “What do you want me to say, man? I’m sorry. I’m sorry as hell—I stayed away for what seemed like forever to avoid this, Law. If I could take it back, I would.” Dammit, his voice broke and he turned away.
“What’s the plan? Tell us about witness protection and then you run free, trying to take down your father? Because that’s bullshit and it’ll just keep you running, the same way you’ve been. You’ll just be going in a different direction,” Law told him.
He should’ve known Law would be a step ahead of him—and completely fucking right. “It’s the best thing for you and Paulo.”
“Fuck you and your knowing what’s best for us,” Law spat.
“Cut him a break, Law.”
Paulo’s voice. He’d obviously caught most of the conversation, tossed Styx back the phone with a nod before Law turned to Paulo. “You know nothing about this.”
“I’m here, aren’t I? And I’ve got a pretty good idea about what’s happening between you two.” Paulo’s eyes flashed. “He cares about you, and you’ve gotten really good at pushing people who care about you away.”
“Now you’re on his side?”
“It’s not his fault. Not really.”
Law sagged against the fridge, ran his hands through his hair. “Dammit, you don’t know.”
“I know you two have a connection. I know you grew up together. I know a hell of a lot more than you think.”
At Paulo’s words, Law stiffened, and Styx realized that the real battle had just begun.
Paulo couldn’t stand to watch the two men rip each other to shreds, not when they’d just ended up together again after all these years.
Styx was Law’s first love. After everything Paulo had discovered about Law, he knew that the man deserved all the happiness in the world.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Law asked, his voice dangerous, but Paulo never let that shit get to him. It might turn him on, but intimidate him? No goddamned way.
He started again, “After all you’ve been through…” but Law interrupted him abruptly.
“You’re not just talking about what happened at Crave, are you?”
Put-up or shut-up time. “No, I’m not. I know. About you.”
“What do you mean, you know?”
“Your medical records…from when you were younger.” Paulo glanced at Styx, whose expression had gone hard again and he wondered if both men were going to attempt to kick his ass for this.
“Aren’t there laws that keep you from invading my personal medical history—my CPS records?” Law demanded, and yes, Paulo had bypassed those quite nicely.
Yeah, this was bad. All he could do was nod.
“And you thought my past was your business?” Law continued.
“I still do.”
“Dammit, Paulo.” Law turned, stayed with his back to both him and Styx for a very long while and time was suspended, their relationship—what little there had been—hanging in the balance. The tension was palpable. But Paulo had always known he’d be the one to bring this up with Law. Law would never be the one to tell him that information, no matter how long they’d stay together.
“I’m sorry. I wanted you to tell me…but I knew you wouldn’t,” Paulo said finally.
“Right, because it was fucking private,” Law spat.
“I’m tired of secrets,” Paulo said. “I’m tired of keeping them—of having them kept from me.”
“So this is payback? Because you had this information long before I asked you about your past last night.”
“No, it’s about getting the goddamned truth out. I have to be able to trust both of you if my ass is on the line. I need to know every fucking thing.”
Styx was watching both of them quietly. He’d have to be a fool to get in the middle of this, and if Paulo learned anything after twenty-four hours with the man, he knew Styx was anything but.
Still, Paulo was surprised Styx didn’t grab him by the throat for pissing Law off, for spilling his private life out like that.
Then again, Styx was surprising Paulo in a lot of ways.
“You—” Law pointed to Paulo, “—and you.” This time, his attention turned to Styx. “Both of you and your secrets can go fuck yourselves. I’m done with this.”
“You can’t just walk out,” Paulo said.
“Watch me.” Law turned then, grabbed one of the guns off the kitchen table and left the house, slamming out the front door.
It was more to prove his point—he wasn’t going far in this storm, but still, “Get him,” Paulo told Styx.
“He’s too pissed.” Styx stared out the window, watching Law walk toward the back of the house. “Besides, we’re in the middle of bumblefuck—it’s one of the benefits.”
Paulo walked into the living room, slumped onto the couch, and Styx moved to the kitchen doorway. “I shouldn’t have pried into his records. Are you going to tell me what an asshole I am?”
Styx’s next words surprised the hell out of him. “No. Because I did the same thing.”
Chapter Six
Law couldn’t remember being more fucking furious with someone since…fuck, since Styx and his nosing around. Goddammit, the two assholes inside were perfect for one another. And they were welcome to each other, because Law didn’t want either of them.
Although that was a big fucking lie. He sat on the stone wall that ran the entire length of the back of the house and faced the woods, letting the first flakes of the storm float past him.
He’d always loved the snow—everything was quiet and calm and he could think. But today there would be too much time to do so, and his bones ached in anticipation of the storm.
He rubbed his arms, grateful that Styx had shoved some Advil at him first thing that morning. A sign that the man remembered everything.
Paulo had done the same for him when he’d stayed at his apartment two nights before.
Paulo…dammit.
If Paulo had read his records, he really did know everything, and Law could no longer pretend that it didn’t happen.
Fuck, if Paulo looked at him with pity…
But he hadn’t, ever. And Law had radar for that, was pretty bullshit-proof.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then rubbed them together, the cold not helping the deep ache.
He really had nearly every major bone in his body broken by the time he was ten—some more than once, and hell, he could predict rain and snow with an accuracy no meteorologist seemed to have.
It was gonna storm tonight.
Who was he kidding? It had already started, a long time ago when his father started drinki
ng and his mother stopped giving a shit. Or maybe she never really had, but time had a way of fuzzing things over.
He remembered rarely having new clothes or books or anything—he and his brother had been taken from his parents twice only to find themselves in far worse situations where they didn’t know the groundwork, the triggers.
It was in childhood when he’d learned the importance of stealth and recon, knew that when the bottles came out and the voices got louder, it was time to become invisible.
He’d been an easy target for a long time.
The physical abuse had been well documented for both Law and his brother, teachers noticing it from first grade on. The boys had been pulled from the house twice before the family moved from Connecticut to New York, and then they were in a much larger school system. They’d also learned to lie, because it was easier on them if no one suspected the truth.
But hospital records always noted the abuse—the social workers were always called down, spoke to Law in a sympathetic you-can-tell-me-everything tone and Law never did.
Over the years, that had become so ingrained in him that the thought of talking about any of it made him freeze up. He’d been pissed as hell that Greg had even mentioned it to Styx—and Damon, too—but then he’d been grateful he didn’t have to do so himself.
Paulo wouldn’t know everything, though. Because the most horrific part wasn’t in the files. It was still an open crime and Paulo hadn’t looked hard enough—or hadn’t thought to look into the police files.
Law’s brother had been missing for years. Although Law’s father and mother had been questioned in his disappearance, since Law had also run away, they’d put the case down as unsolved.
Unsolved. Law’s stomach clenched when he thought about it, because he could easily walk into the police station and solve it, but what good would it do any of them?
His parents were both dead—murdered, actually, and his brother had been murdered as well, the day Law left home for good.
He’d been fifteen and had just witnessed his father kill his older brother. Jason had only been ten months older, smaller than Law—and although he hadn’t liked the fact that Law was gay he was still fiercely protective, always stepping in the way and trying to take the brunt of the beatings.
It usually resulted in both Jason and Law with bones broken. But that night, it had been so much more—a broken neck from a hard push down a small flight of stairs leading to the basement.
When his father left to hide the body and his mother had ordered him to shut his mouth and get into his room, Law did. He’d already been packed so he grabbed his bag and went out the window and headed to the club where he’d been working, washing glasses and cleaning up after school for the past three months.
Greg had taken one look at him and pointed to the cot in the back room. “Not very comfortable, but it’ll be okay for a couple of nights.”
“Gonna be longer than that. Can’t go back.”
“Why?”
All it took was that simple word and he told Greg everything. Greg’s eyes got wet but he didn’t cry and instead, he let Law do so.
To this day, Greg was the only person Law had ever told the full story to. Greg hadn’t said a word about going to the police, had simply asked, “Will he come looking for you?”
“Not here. Can’t go back to school either, or he’ll have to answer for what happened to my brother. And they’ll ask me.” He’d loved his brother, although they’d never been close. Most of the time, they’d been pitted against one another for survival.
But to watch his father make good on his threat…
“Don’t go there, Law. Nothing you could’ve done,” Greg told him and from there, Law stayed and worked with Greg. At first, it was in the back room and then he’d go to Greg’s for dinner and schooling, and then he’d moved into the second floor of Greg’s brownstone, with Greg living on the third floor.
It had never been weird or wrong—Greg hadn’t ever made an inappropriate move.
Greg had saved his life, later told him he did so because someone had once saved his in the same manner.
And then Damon and Styx moved in and Greg made them all get their GEDs and taught them club management. Taught them to be responsible gay men.
God, Law still had so much to learn. He looked up at the sky and let the snow skim his face. When he was in Delta, he would sometimes sit for hours, stock still, waiting for a target. Now, because of Styx, he was one again.
Styx would be the one to come get him soon. Law could feel him in his bones, the way he could sense the storm, and he wondered what went on between the two men inside the house.
He wanted to punch Styx, for no other reason than he and Paulo were bonding. Styx had Paulo sticking up for him now—what the hell was that?
But he knew…Styx was a force as powerful as anything he’d ever known. A raging ocean, a fierce thunderstorm…and still, there was a gentleness inside the man that called to Law like a siren song.
He could still remember the first time he’d met Styx. It was like two lost souls recognizing one another—the feeling more intense even than meeting Damon.
It still hadn’t stopped him from being wary.
Although he trusted Greg’s instincts, after the addition of this boy—man, he had to admit, because Styx had never been a boy—Law kept his distance.
He’d named himself Styx because he’d been going through Greg’s collection of albums and Styx’s Paradise Theater album caught his eye.
“You realize you’re naming yourself after a river in hell,” Greg had said, and Styx nodded with that gleam in his eye, and for the first time in the week he’d been in Greg’s house, he’d smiled.
From where he’d been in the hallway watching, Law had smiled too.
Paulo stared at Styx, surprised as shit that the man wasn’t pissed at him, and his heart definitely opened more for the man he’d been sure he would continue to hate for what he’d done to Law. Maybe they had more in common than Paulo could’ve imagined. “You broke into Law’s records?”
“Not exactly. Not at first. I asked Greg about it and he finally told me a little bit about how Law came to him. From there, I did some research. When I confronted him, Law didn’t speak to me for a week, but we were a lot younger then.”
“Why did you do it?”
Styx shrugged. “Same reason you did. I was in love with him and I knew whatever happened was holding him back. I’ve known him since we were sixteen. He knew I couldn’t remember. When I first asked him why he was there, he just said something about having a rough time at home.” Styx gave a short bark of a laugh. “Can you imagine? A rough time at home. And then, when he started speaking to me again, he told me everything. He’s had years to pretend none of it happened.”
But it had, in such sick and sadistic ways that Paulo had thrown up halfway through reading the file and again when he’d finished. “How can you be so calm about it?”
“Calm?” Styx’s eyes were an icy glitter in the now darkening room. “You don’t even know half the story—it’s not in the CPS files. But I know everything. I found his father ten years ago and I killed the bastard. His mother was already dead or I would’ve strangled her with my bare hands, woman or not. People like that don’t deserve children.” Styx took a step toward the couch. “Are you going to tell me I was wrong to do it? That I should’ve let the police handle it? Want to turn me in?”
“No.” Paulo felt his hands shake. “I looked them up because I was ready to…” He paused. “I was ready to kill them…but they were already dead.”
Styx nodded, a sudden, unbreakable bond occurring between the two men.
“Does he know what you did?” Paulo asked.
Styx shrugged. “He’s never asked and I’ve never said.”
“What else is there? What don’t I know?” He’d suspected that Law’s run to Greg’s house hadn’t been smooth.
“It would’ve been in the police records—you didn’t push hard
enough, but I suspect you couldn’t bring yourself to read any more,” Styx said with a quiet understanding. “But that’s his story to tell now. We’ve done enough damage with this.”
Paulo agreed. “I need to talk to him.”
He didn’t want Law to run, but Paulo understood that better than anyone. He’d been it for years. Now, sometimes he thought it was the only way he knew how to live… And what did that mean that he’d hung around for three months longer than he’d intended because the thought of leaving Law made him physically ill?
“There’s something about Law,” Paulo said. “It makes me want to protect him.”
“And fuck him at the same time,” Styx finished.
“I was going to say, get fucked by him, but yeah, that’s the general idea. Dammit, I’m all fucked up. Things were fine until I met him and now I’m all turned around.”
“Law tends to do that to people. He did it to me the first time I saw him.”
“And then what?”
“And then he pushed me away as hard as he could for months.”
“What’d you do?”
“Pushed back, just like you. So let me go get him. He’s already more pissed at me than you, anyway.” Styx didn’t move, though. “I know you love him. I saw you—in the hospital with him.”
Paulo stared at him. “You were there?”
“He didn’t know because I didn’t go to him.”
“Because I did?”
“Because it looked like you cared…and he looked at you like…fuck, he used to look at me like that.”
“He still does.”
As much as Styx wanted to believe Paulo, he couldn’t let himself. “Too much time has passed…”
“No, it hasn’t.”
Styx shook his head. This wasn’t going to work. “I’m going to make sure you and Law are safe—and then I’ll take off.”
“He won’t let you.”
“He won’t have a choice.”
“Sounds like you’ve never given him one.”
“You know nothing about it, cop.”