by SE Jakes
“Not really—for you, it’s a relationship, whether you want to admit it or not. But I guess the less you admit, the less you’ll have to take responsibility for your fuck-ups.”
Law sighed. “I’m too fucking tired to fight anymore.”
“Too tired to thank Paulo for saving your life?”
Law didn’t answer that and just got into the bed he’d made, turning his back on Styx. Styx, in turn, put a throwaway phone next to him. “At least call Damon and check in—he won’t be suspicious if you’re a prick.”
He walked into the kitchen, ignoring Law’s muttered curses as he went.
Law was still muttering every curse he knew at Styx—mainly pissed at himself the entire time—while he dialed Damon.
Damon picked up after a few rings, sounding more relaxed than Law had ever heard him. For Tanner to get the leave had been tough, but Damon had called in some favors and yes, the men needed that time away together.
Tanner would go back out with Delta and be gone on secret missions that both Damon and Law knew far too much about—which was really the main problem for Damon, who’d already lost a lover to military action—but they’d finally come to an understanding.
Tanner would do his job and Damon would stay behind and be a miserable son of a bitch to everyone in his path—including and especially Law—until Tanner returned.
To see Damon happy, Law was more than okay with that trade.
“We’ve been eating and drinking and sightseeing,” Damon was telling him.
“I’m sure that’s not all,” Law said, and Damon snorted and Tanner said hi in the background. And he thought things were going to go smoothly until Damon demanded, “What’s wrong?” and fuck it all, the man was better than a lie detector.
Law would have to make this work by telling some half-truths and pretending something other than what was wrong was actually wrong. Because if he couldn’t throw Damon off the scent completely, he’d just confuse the shit out of him instead. “Nothing.”
“It’s Paulo, isn’t it?”
Well goddamn, that was a big part of it. He sighed in spite of himself and Damon muttered something under his breath.
“It’s Paulo.”
“I know you went to see him the night Tanner and I left.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Still pushing him away?”
“I don’t know what to do, Damon,” he said honestly. “If I’m not pushing him, he’s pushing me.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“You and Tanner got past it way more quickly than me and Paulo—we haven’t gotten past anything.” He tried not to think about how pissed he’d been—how he’d walked out on both him and Styx.
How he still hadn’t said he was sorry to either man.
“Go to him. What’s stopping you?” Damon paused. “You can’t still be thinking about him.”
He looked toward the kitchen, heard Styx moving around in there and knew the man was listening to the entire conversation. “If Styx came back—”
Damon snorted at the thought. “Okay, I’ll play—if Styx came back, would you give Paulo up?”
Styx walked back into the living room as Law said, “No—I couldn’t give Paulo up for him. I couldn’t give Styx up for Paulo, either.”
“Like Styx would go for that.”
Law and Styx hadn’t discussed it at all last night, but the fact that Styx had walked into the room and watched…well, Law had no doubt he remembered. “We used to do threesomes all the time.”
“One-offs,” Damon said, as if he needed reminding.
Law knew that his deepest, darkest secrets, needs, fantasies—they were all safe with Damon. They would be so with Styx as well, and he had to believe that Paulo could handle them.
And this was a sudden, deep, dark craving, something he never thought possible. Those times in his past were one-offs, yes, Damon was correct. But what he wanted now he knew wouldn’t happen only once…not if he allowed it to happen at all.
But something inside him knew he couldn’t stop it any more than he could stop a speeding train.
“I couldn’t say no to either of them,” Law said quietly, aware that Styx was watching him, the expression on his face hard to read, shadowed by the flickering firelight. “I wouldn’t want them to say no to each other. Do you think that’s too much to ask?”
He was speaking to Damon but staring at Styx as he spoke the words. Styx wasn’t saying anything and, on his end, Damon went silent for a long second. “I’ve never seen a threesome work for very long, Law. But if anyone could handle it…”
“Do you really think it could work?” He heard the urgency in his own voice, didn’t want to make Damon suspicious. “Forget it—just a fantasy, I guess.”
“I think you could, Law, if it made all of you happy.” Damon paused. “Do you need me to come home?”
“For what? To watch me mope? You and Tanner have a blast—check in, okay?”
“Okay…we’ll talk soon.” Damon hung up the phone and Law cursed inwardly for many different reasons.
Law hated lying to Damon. But he wasn’t about to ruin the man’s vacation. If this wasn’t figured out by the time Damon returned, then all hell would break loose.
He handed the phone back to Styx, who slid it into his pocket and then walked past Law and into the bathroom where Paulo was still showering.
Talk about all hell breaking loose…
Whether Law did it purposely or not, he was testing Styx—and this was one test he would pass with flying fucking colors.
If Law wanted him—needed him—to invite Paulo in, Styx would do so. It wouldn’t be a hardship and he’d been attracted to the younger man from the first.
He didn’t bother to knock when he entered the bedroom and then went toward the bathroom adjacent to it. That door was open and he glanced inside, forgetting there were clear glass doors on the showers here. With the lantern on the sink, Styx could see Paulo clearly, sucked in a breath when he saw the tats displayed beautifully along the man’s lean, muscled back and arms, the colors and designs rippling with the taut muscles underneath them.
As he watched, Paulo squeezed the washcloth so the soap ran in rivulets down his back, over the very tightly muscled ass, down his thighs and calves. Stood for a few minutes with his head down, palms on the tiles so the water could cascade down his neck.
Paulo was hard, too, despite all that had happened tonight. Styx had been hard from the second he’d walked into the room. And then suddenly, Paulo stood and turned his head toward Styx, the look on his face letting Styx know he’d been busted for a while.
Styx didn’t care, didn’t move, watched Paulo shut off the water and walk out of the shower. He toweled off but he didn’t wrap the towel around his waist, flung it to the floor instead and crossed the floor until he stood toe to toe with Styx.
“I can handle this,” was all he said.
With his hair slicked back, his eyes glowed and Styx fought to keep his composure. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. You’re freaked. Why?”
“I almost lost you both.”
“I’m not your responsibility.” Styx regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, mainly because they weren’t true…but the look in Paulo’s face reminded him of the way he’d felt when Law accused him of lying.
“That’s right—you’re not.” Paulo went to brush past him but Styx grabbed him, braced for Paulo to start swinging, but he didn’t.
This wasn’t a lost boy, not completely. No, he was a grown man and a hell of a lot more honest about his feelings than either Styx or Law. “Do you want me to be?”
Paulo stared at him, handsome, proud. “I thought I did, but not when you’re being a prick.”
“My SOP,” Styx said quietly as the air changed between them, nearly crackled as the image of Paulo, bound and spread, flashed before his eyes. “Can you handle it?”
“You and Law both think you’re so hard to handle.” Paulo laughed a l
ittle. “You’re both way more transparent than you think.”
“To the right person. And you’re one of them?”
“If you want to find out, keep pushing.”
A challenge. Styx had walked in on him in the shower purposefully, and what had he expected from that? For Paulo to cry modesty, wrap up in a towel and run?
Paulo stood, wet, naked, totally unapologetic and ready, his stance a taunt.
He was calling Styx’s bluff, raised his chin as Styx took the time to appraise him. Both men were hard—Styx couldn’t deny it any more than Paulo could, because he was obviously straining the front of his worn jeans, the bulge unmistakable.
Styx reached out and traced the tats on one of Paulo’s arms with a finger. They were a mix of intricate swirls and tribal designs, some black and grayscale with touches of color…it was all fucking beautiful. He had full sleeves to the elbows and his back piece was on its way to being complete, but his chest was clear. “You saved Law—you saved me. I couldn’t be more grateful, you know.”
“I believe that. What about the asshole in the other room?” Paulo shot back.
“Not ready to stop being an asshole yet.” Styx realized the younger man had started to shiver. “You ever killed someone in the line of duty?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you freak out the first time?”
“I fucked up the first time and got my partner shot. I never made that mistake again,” Paulo bit out. “This is too much—you can’t focus on keeping Law safe with this shit. The two of you need to spend time together, dealing with each other. I’ll go to another safe house.”
Styx believed he would do that, would make the sacrifice for Law, and it was the last thing any of them wanted. It just took Law’s call to Damon to put it into perspective. “You can’t go off on your own, Paulo. Besides, you’re not the problem.”
“I’m not a prisoner, am I?”
Styx gave a small smile as he thought about the way Paulo had been bound to the bed last night. “Not yet. But I can make that happen if you want to be tied down and helpless again.”
Chapter Eight
Paulo shivered again, and this time it had nothing to do with the chill from having no heat in the house. The thought of Styx—of Law—tying him down, keeping him…
Fuck. He looked down because he didn’t know what the hell to do, or where Styx was going with all of this.
“You saved his life,” Styx repeated quietly, cupped Paulo’s chin in his palm and forced him to meet his gaze. “You saved mine.”
Paulo felt his cheeks flush. Hell, his whole body was on fire. “He loves you. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“You would give him up if that would make him happy?”
“Yeah, I would.”
“That’s why he loves you.”
“If I hadn’t told him that I researched his childhood, he wouldn’t have been outside in the line of fire.”
“Bullshit.” Styx’s words were firm, but his eyes were kind. The man with no childhood and teenage memories before the age of sixteen had been clinging to the memories of Law all these years, and Paulo could understand that.
“I haven’t known him long…but I understand why you love him,” Paulo said.
“I understand why he loves you.”
“He doesn’t, Styx. I’ve been competing with you from the start.”
“It’s not about competition,” Styx said. “The heart doesn’t compete in bullshit—it just tells it like it is and we have to be ready to listen.”
Styx’s arms circled him, tugged him close and it was all over. He couldn’t resist this man any more than he could Law.
Law, who was on the other side of the door, pissed as hell at him.
He focused his attention back on the man in front of him, had wondered if there would be this kind of attraction between him and Styx without Law.
The answer, of course, was yes. Holy motherfucker, yes. Styx’s body was hot—it was like being close to an inferno, but he didn’t mind getting burned.
Styx didn’t kiss him—but he wanted the man to do so…and his blood rushed hot to his groin at the first contact of their bodies.
This had been coming—the close proximity, the fighting—Paulo knew it would lead to this. But as much as he wanted Styx…he didn’t want to lose Law. And so he went to pull back but Styx cupped a hand around the back of his neck…another slid down the front of his jeans, and Paulo knew resistance was futile.
Law had described Styx as his drug and Paulo knew why…Styx was larger than life. When he was in the room, he ate up all the oxygen, made you feel like you were swimming through a thick haze.
He was handsome, yes, but it was more than that.
Styx was insistent and Paulo didn’t want to say no. He’d seen the way Styx manhandled Law and he wanted that. And, as if in response, Styx pulled back a little, his hand circling Paulo’s cock, and Paulo bucked into his palm.
“Good boy,” Styx crooned, and Paulo didn’t care what the man called him as long as he could come and release some of this tension. “Just remember, you call me old man again, and I will put you over my knee.”
Jesus. Paulo’s knees nearly buckled at the mention of that, the way they had last night and why was the thought of that actually happening making him weak?
Styx smiled, like he knew and wasn’t telling.
Paulo wanted to concede to everything, but he couldn’t. “I’m not doing anything with you…because of Law.”
“What if it’s something Law wants?”
At the sound of Law’s voice asking the question, Paulo started, looked between the two men. “How the hell is that supposed to work?”
“I don’t know,” Law admitted. “But I refuse to lose either of you.”
Law had watched the two men almost from the moment Paulo walked out of the shower. Styx was tender to Paulo. Paulo looked wrecked.
And Law knew he’d most definitely been an asshole, had barely looked at Paulo during the drive. Knew he needed to apologize, to own his shit, but he hadn’t been able to let it go.
Until now. Because what was happening in front of him made his mouth go dry and his dick hard.
Styx brought his mouth down on Paulo’s, and Law watched the seduction begin. It fucking took his breath away watching the men kiss, with Styx’s hand on the back of Paulo’s head, another on his bare ass, and the mix of Styx fully clothed and Paulo naked and all the tattoos was incredible.
Paulo resisted—at first. But it wasn’t easy to do with Styx—not at all—and then Paulo’s hands went to Styx’s face and held it. Paulo was responding, because he needed to, wanted to, and Law understood why. Finally, Paulo moved his hands to Styx’s shoulders, twined them in his hair as the kisses became harder, more intense. Styx’s hands were on Paulo’s ass, pushing him closer, and Law wondered what Styx would do to the younger man first. Couldn’t wait to see, actually.
But he wanted to be a part of it more. So he walked into the room and Paulo broke the kiss and stared at him.
“Fuck, Law, I’m…”
“It’s all right.” Law moved forward, stood next to the men who’d started to break apart and stopped that. “Don’t stop. Please.”
Paulo looked half stunned, confused as Law guided Styx’s head back towards his. Styx wasn’t half as confused, began kissing Paulo again until the man gave up worrying and went with it. Maybe it was because Law kept his hand on Paulo’s shoulder. Whispered in his ear, “You look so fucking hot.”
He heard Paulo moan against Styx’s mouth and his cock jumped, because this was the way it needed to be right now. He had atoning to do, and somehow this felt right. He needed Styx, but he couldn’t be with him alone.
He needed Paulo, needed to find a way to forgive him for prying, for discovering things about Law that he’d never wanted anyone else to know, and this was the way. It had never felt this right before.
Paulo tried to pull back a little, but Styx took Paulo in hand again,
this time more powerfully so Paulo squirmed then settled into the kiss, especially as Law moved behind him and kissed along the back of his neck. Whispered, “That’s it, baby—give yourself to Styx…to me.”
And then he sank to his knees and pushed Paulo’s thighs apart. Licked a path up Paulo’s thigh and spread Paulo’s ass, began to tongue along his crack, and Paulo trembled like he couldn’t hold himself up.
Styx took the same position as Law in front of Paulo, and Law knew he’d take Paulo’s cock in his mouth, knew the second he did it because both men held fast to Paulo so he wouldn’t drop.
Law redoubled his efforts, spearing his tongue and entering Paulo, heard his cries above him. It was Law and Styx and holy fuck and God, Law wanted to fuck him immediately.
But this was about Paulo now and no one else. And when Paulo came in Styx’s mouth, he let out a yell that seemed to reverberate through the entire cabin, let the orgasm rock his entire body for what seemed an eternity.
When he’d quieted and all Law heard was his riotous breathing, Law carried Paulo out to the bed in front of the fire and the two of them lay on the mattress with Paulo between them.
Styx was at Paulo’s back this time and Law nodded over the man’s shoulder, communicating that this needed to continue…that he wasn’t ready to be with Styx alone yet.
It was all centering on him, and for sure, Paulo didn’t mind being part of their avoidance technique. Unless you were a goddamned idiot, no red-blooded American gay man was going to miss this opportunity.
If he closed his eyes, he could tell Styx’s touch from Law’s. Styx’s was rougher, although both men were especially good in the manhandling department, as evidenced by the way they tied him down by his wrists and ankles so he was on his back, spread and open to them, unable to stop them from doing whatever they wanted to him.
“He likes it rough,” Law murmured, and Styx smiled and Paulo said nothing because he was still partially incoherent from the rimming/blowjob experience.
“Going to relieve some more of that stress,” Styx told him. Paulo tried to argue that he had none but he gave up when Styx sucked a nipple hard between his tongue and teeth, and Law played with the other between his fingers.