by Sable, R. J.
“Good,” Gregory’s slimy voice cooed. “Now check your brother.”
This time he aimed the gun at the back of Jason’s head. I slowly crossed the room to where Ian was stood. I remembered what Ian had said about carrying a weapon, I suspected he had one now.
My suspicions proved to be true and my hands stilled momentarily on the metallic bulge in the back of his waistband.
“It’s okay, Jelly,” Ian reassured me. “Just take it out, slowly.”
I glanced over at Gregory and he was grinning like the cat that got the cream. He obviously thought he’d caught Ian out and that he’d won this round. I had to agree.
He had me slide the weapon along the floor to him and he pocketed it with a smug smile.
“Now,” he smirked. “Down to business. You, come here.” He gestured me closer and Ian signed to just do as I was told. When I was stood by his side again, he redirected the gun away from Jason and onto me.
“Now, you can explain this,” Gregory said, fishing something out of his pocket.
He handed me an envelope and my heart sank as I recognised my own handwriting on the front. I glanced guiltily up at Jason before removing the letter from the envelope. I already knew what it contained.
Hi,
My name is Jamie-Lea and I’m writing on behalf of my boyfriend, Jason Reed. His mother’s name was Louisa Reed, formerly Johansson. Jason hasn’t seen his mother in over eight years but I think it would be good if he could hear the truth about the reasons behind this. I think it would be beneficial to all parties that the truth comes to light. Please, if you are Louisa, or know her whereabouts, get in touch. My contact details are below.
Thank you,
Jamie-Lea
After I reread my own words on the paper, I glanced over at Jason. My expression must have been loaded with guilt because he met my gaze with obvious confusion. The sick, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach crawled into my throat. Something about this letter was the reason we were all here. I was the reason Ian and Jason were in danger.
Gregory grabbed the letter out of my hand and tossed it in Jason’s direction. A few tears were leaking down my cheeks as I watched Jason read. Hurt and confusion were evident on his face when he looked up.
“I’m so sorry, Jason,” I whimpered.
Gregory backhanded me with the gun again and I fell silent, praying to any and all deities that would listen that we would make it out of this alive.
“I don’t understand,” Jason almost whispered, his eyes on his monster of a father.
“So you didn’t know about this,” Gregory laughed. “Interesting.” He turned to me and forced my face up to meet his. “So you were planning on keeping the money for yourself, were you?”
“Wh… what money?” I frowned in confusion.
“Don’t play dumb with me, little girl. I can read between the lines. I know exactly how you were hoping the truth could be ‘beneficial’ for you. Problem is, I don’t take kindly to blackmail.”
I had absolutely zero idea what was happening. All I’d done was send a letter trying to find Louisa. I didn’t know anything about money or blackmail.
“I take it your intent is to kill us?” Ian asked with a small smile. Drawing Gregory’s attention back to him.
“Your sister has left me no choice, I’m afraid,” Gregory replied, his prim response in stark contrast to his violent intentions.
“I see,” Ian nodded, leaning casually against the bar. “Seeing as I’m about to be killed, mind at least telling me why. Seems only fair.”
Gregory eyed my brother suspiciously and understandably. Ian was calm in such a tense situation and it was almost disconcerting. It was like he went through the threat of death every day. That thought made me uncomfortable.
“You see,” Ian continued. “I know a little bit about you as well.”
Gregory’s eyes widened and I could tell he thought Ian was bluffing. I wasn’t so sure.
“Obviously, when these two,” he gestured to me and Jason. “Got together, I had him looked into. Family included. I disregarded you when I realised there was no contact but I revisited that information this morning.”
Ian paced as he talked, his eyes locked on Gregory. He kept a safe distance between himself and the bastard with the gun but I was sure he was getting a little bit closer each time.
“Tell me, how is it that somebody who hasn’t been employed for over ten years has a bank balance upwards of six digits?”
“How do you-” Gregory started.
“I’m an excellent file clerk,” Ian smirked.
In different circumstances, I might have laughed but there was nothing funny about the cold metal barrel aimed at my brain.
“It struck me as odd so I looked a little deeper. You and I have a mutual acquaintance,”
“Oh?” Gregory retorted with an ugly snarl.
“Well, not so much an acquaintance. Just somebody I made a promise to a few years ago,” Ian nodded. “I actually know you as well. Only I know you as Greg Stark; right hand man to Elliot Vanders. How does somebody who hates taking orders end up as a right-hand man? I mean, you were one month away from being discharged from the RAF for a lack of respect for your superiors and an inability to follow orders.”
I exchanged a look with Jason and it was obvious he wasn’t as shocked as I was to be hearing all this. Ian must have filled him in. I recognised the name Elliot Vanders from the news. He was thought to be responsible for all sorts of violent and horrific crimes but the police were never able to pin anything on him because he never got his hands dirty himself and those who dirtied themselves on his behalf were either too loyal or too afraid to doss him in.
“I should have made the connection when I saw the payment for the kidnapping came from Vanders’ organisation. That was my bad,” he glanced at me and I saw a flash of regret in his eyes before he got back in his super-badass spy mode.
Jason’s father had been the one to try and kidnap me. I wasn’t sure how to absorb this. My brain was already operating at overcapacity trying to function whilst I was terrified for all our lives.
“You talk a big game,” Greg snarled, obviously desperate to regain the control he was losing. “But I’m the one about to blow your sister’s brains out.”
“Yes, you are,” Ian agreed. “Why don’t you tell me why that is?” I had to hand it to him, Ian didn’t seem bothered at all by the prospect, but I knew better. He was keeping his head in the game and maintaining a cool façade but I knew the prospect of losing me was killing him.
“Why don’t you ask that little fucker?” Gregory stepped away from me and aimed the gun at Jason.
Ian was immediately beside me, shuffling me behind him and squeezing my shoulder in reassurance.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, old man,” Jason snarled, standing up to his full height.
“I should have killed you that night. Would have saved me all this hassle. But when you asked where she was the next morning, I realised you didn’t remember.”
The world around me stilled as pieces started falling into place. There was no trace of Jason’s mother, not since the day she disappeared. I remembered Jason telling me about his nightmares and I realised that they weren’t just cruel figments of his imagination. They were memories.
I looked at Jason and could see that he was putting the pieces together as well. His face morphed into horror as the images that plagued his nightmares played over in his mind.
“You killed Mum,” Jason whispered, staring at his father with all the hatred he’d been bottling up from a young age.
“Stupid whore tried to take you two away from me. I wasn’t about to let her take you. Somebody needed to beat some sense into you. You were fucking pathetic, both of you. Still are as far as I can tell.”
“You bastard!” Jason lunged forwards.
“Not so fast, son,” Gregory smirked, repositioning his weapon to aim for the middle of Jason’s forehead.
; Jason’s chest rose and fell heavily, his jaw tense with fury. I needed to hug him, needed to calm him down but when I tried to cross the room to get to him, Gregory forced me back with his finger on the trigger.
“So you were having Alan follow Jamie all because she sent you that letter?” Jason gritted out.
“You knew about that, eh?” Gregory chuckled bitterly.
Alan? Who’s Alan? My eyes widened as I started to piece things together. Jason had acted weird once he’d seen that picture on my phone. He must have recognised the person in the picture as somebody connected to his father and realised that I wasn’t as safe as I thought I was. It said a lot that the first person he called was Ian. He knew Ian would do anything to protect me and my safety was always his first priority.
“When those idiots couldn’t even manage a simple kidnapping, I sent Alan to take care of it. He chickened out when he saw the muscle you seemed to have hired to follow her around. Of course, he had a vested interest in quieting your little girlfriend as well seeing as he was the one that helped me get rid of the bitch’s body. But once he failed to get you, he had to go as well. He knew too much. And so do all of you.”
“Very interesting,” Ian interrupted again. He sounded almost bored. “But, you see, there’s a slight problem.”
“Oh?” Gregory snarled. “And what’s that.”
“When Jason called me and told me my sister was still in danger, I hopped on the helicopter to Derby. One of the perks of being an excellent file clerk,” he smirked again. “But I had the time to get one of these.” He lifted the front of his shirt to show the small wire that was taped to the front of his chest.
I’d felt it when I was patting him down but it wasn’t a weapon so I’d not felt the need to reveal it. Ian had slowly been edging forwards, closer to Gregory, as he talked. There was only about a meter and a half remaining between them.
“So, you see, even if you kill us all. You’re still going away for a very long time,” Ian explained.
“You stupid fucker,” Gregory snarled, aiming the gun at Ian’s forehead. All traces of the smug expression he’d been wearing were wiped from his face and the monster within came to the forefront.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Ian shook his head, seemingly unperturbed by the gun aimed at his head. “You wouldn’t want to add to your sentence and my team are standing by right outside that door. My team of file clerks that is.”
“You,” Gregory growled, turning to Jason. “This is all your fucking fault.”
Jason just stood there, stone still as his own father moved his finger to the trigger on his gun. The image of a life without Jason flashed before me and I knew I could never survive that. Jason was the survivor; he’d come from a hellish life and made something of himself. He deserved to live.
As the scene in front of me played out in slow motion, I remembered the day I’d gone climbing with Matt and Karl. They told me never to let fear stop me. Considering I was more scared then I’d ever been before, their advice seemed relevant. My biggest fear was of losing Jason and it was this fear that propelled me forwards as Gregory’s finger tightened.
I saw only love and acceptance in Jason’s eyes as he focussed on me, not on the weapon that was about to take his life.
I flung my own body in front of his, tackling him to the floor just as the loud bang resonated in my eardrums. The sound vibrated so loudly that it left my ears ringing, or maybe that was just residue from being backhanded so many times.
As my body landed on top of Jason’s on the floor behind us, his arms flew up to protect me from the fall. His warmth enveloped me and an intense feeling of security surrounded me. In Jason’s arms, I felt untouchable, despite everything happening around us.
It took a few seconds for me to realise that the warmth didn’t quite feel right. It was damp. I could see blood soaking our clothes in the small space between us and my eyes widened in horror. I was too late. He’d been shot. Jason had been shot.
“Jamie! Jamie? Are you okay?” Jason asked in panic. He showed remarkable agility for somebody with a hole blown through them as he lifted me onto the floor beside him.
“Oh my God. My little squirrel. I’m so sorry, Jamie. So, so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”
I tried to tell him I was fine and order him to get to safety but the words wouldn’t come out. Jason may have been covered in blood but he wasn’t the one bleeding. I was surprised that nothing really hurt. I just felt sort of numb and tingly.
Jason’s hands pressed to my chest, placing all his weight just above my right breast. I was vaguely aware of a lot of people being in the room but they were sort of blurry.
I could hear Ian’s voice amongst the ruckus. I could hear him telling me he loved me. I loved him too. I loved all of them. I tried to tell Jason and Ian how much they meant to me but it felt like I was choking.
I love you, I thought. I hoped they knew. I needed them to know. I couldn’t die without letting them know.
Epilogue
2 years later
Jason
I stared at the cold edging of the letters on her tombstone. The pain never seemed to get any easier. I knew it never would. I missed what we would have had every day. I tried to ignore the resentment I still felt. I knew it wasn’t her fault; she hadn’t meant for this. She was trying to protect me. She put my life before hers. It was the last thing she’d done. She never understood that I needed her alive more than I needed anything else at the time.
I’m a grown man, I’m not going to fucking cry. Despite telling myself to sack the hell up, a single tear still burned down my cheek. Ashamed, I wiped it away with the cuff off my suit jacket.
Unpleasant memories of the day my life had changed still plagued me. I could still hear that shot bouncing around in my head. It had been the sole focus of every nightmare since. I forced the unpleasant memories out of my head and concentrated on the grave in front of me. I hated the idea that her body was beneath me. I really hoped that souls existed in some way. Scratch that. I didn’t hope, I knew. My soul had found its mate that night in the SU. The night my little squirrel fell into my arms.
I traced the etched letters with one finger. The idea that her soul was freed was much more comforting than the idea of a decomposing corpse, stripped free in death of the beauty it had held during life. The lettering was cold under my fingers. We’d agonised for too long over what would be permanently engraved in the polished marble. I knew there was one word that had to be there. Brave. That word was made for women like her.
As much as I resented the choice she made to risk her life for mine, I couldn’t help but admire the strength it must have taken. I would live every day of my life making sure that her sacrifice wasn’t in vain.
The knowledge that the bastard was rotting in jail was barely compensation. Nothing could ever be enough punishment for that sick fucker. Knowing what happened to men who hurt women in prison did sweeten the pot a bit. I hope he spends the rest of his life being made as miserable as he made me.
Not only had he shot the love of my life, the man had also taken my mother from me. He’d let me believe a world of ugly lies about an inherently beautiful woman. She’d made mistakes but nobody’s perfect, I knew that better than anyone, and I couldn’t deny that she’d tried to save me. I knew she’d tried now. When Jamie had encouraged me to look for my Mum it had pissed me off. Why the fuck would I have wanted to see her? But she was right. That was a wound that had never had chance to close. I didn’t think it ever would have now that I knew I’d never see her again.
The resounding gunshot broke through my thoughts again. I didn’t think any amount of counselling would ever rid me of it. It was a reminder that being alive was something that should never be taken for granted and, for that reason alone, I cherished it. What I didn’t cherish was the memory of Jamie-Lea bleeding out in front of me. With ever molecule that seeped from her, my own life force dwindled in sympathy.
Since the day
we met, we were always two halves of a whole. Two beings linked on a deeper level that most would never comprehend. The pain of that day would never leave me. Ian had tackled my father to the floor and disarmed him but he’d been a fraction of a second too late and I knew he’d never forgive himself for that. Hell, I probably wouldn’t either.
Another fucking tear scorched my skin as I let the unpleasant memories afflict my mind. I took a deep breath and wiped the offending liquid away. It was a cruel coincidence that the anniversary of her death should fall on this day. This should have been a day of happiness for me and the family I’d been made a part of. Perhaps this is a happy day. Perhaps this is closure.
As my fingers traced over the text on the gravestone once more, I felt the wind whisper against my cheek. I could almost taste the word goodbye on my tongue. This was my goodbye. My life was moving forwards and, although I’d always love her, there needed to be closure. I needed to move on and accept the people I hadn’t lost. The people I would cherish forever.
“Are you okay?” The voice that still made my heart beat ten times faster and cock pulse with heat whispered from behind me. “I… I know I said I’d wait over there but… I just thought…” She broke off, obvious uncertainty on her melodic voice.
I opened my arms to her and pulled her against me. I immediately relaxed as her tiny frame merged against mine like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. We just fit together. We always had.
“Little squirrel, you’re exactly what I needed,” I breathed against her vanilla scented, silken hair.
“I hate seeing you sad,” she whispered into my chest.
I smiled despite myself. I could feel her shivering and knew she was cold in the early morning chill. We’d had to be here early in order to make it to her graduation ceremony in time. It killed me in the best possible way every time I realised she was too worried about me to think about herself.
Shrugging my suit jacket off my shoulders, I wrapped it around her before pulling her back into my arms, my chin on the top of her head as I stared down at my mother’s grave.