by Blue Saffire
“Victor, you stink,” I grumbled, not opening my eyes. I could smell the weed smoke on him as I pushed his face away. “Get outta here.”
“How you know it’s me?” he laughed patting my leg for me to get up.
I sat up and started to stretch as Victor placed himself in between Alex and me. “It better be you,” I grumbled.
“Got that right, Ma-me,” he said and pulled my face to his to kiss me. “Your poppy hungry Tali, you got me Mama?”
“Depends,” I teased and kissed him, “you missed me?”
“You know I did,” he crooned and smiled at me.
“Okay, I got you.”
I got up to go use the bathroom and freshen up before I went to get him something to eat. I was still half asleep. I heard Victor mumble something to Alex as I headed for the bathroom in the bedroom. They started to slap box as Alex laughed at him.
I finished in the bathroom and was walking back through the bedroom to go fix Victor a plate of food. As I walked pass the bed, I noticed an open jewelry box resting on it. I walked over to pick it up and saw the beautiful diamond bracelet resting inside. As I smiled at the box, I felt Victor walk up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my face.
“You like it?” he asked in almost a whisper.
“Yes,” I said and turned to face him. He was wearing a huge grin. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing, Ma-me,” he crooned as he removed the bracelet from its box and placed it on my wrist. “I was just thinking about you all day.” I thought that was so sweet. I lifted up on my toes to kiss him.
“Let me get you something to eat, Baby,” I sang. He smiled at the end of my sentence and hugged me, kissing me again before letting me walk out of the room.
Victor really was spoiling me. I was wearing a small fortune in jewelry now. I knew I could have anything I asked him for. He made that very clear. I just didn’t really think about that, so gifts like this were special to me. It meant he was really just thinking about me.
I walked pass Alex as I went toward the kitchen and dangled my wrist in front of him. He smiled and winked at me as I passed. “You want something to eat too?” I called over my shoulder.
“This is why she’s my new best friend,” Alex chuckled. I looked back at him to see the smile on his face.
“I told you it was my cooking. Ugh, I thought it was my winning personality, oh well.” I started to laugh as I teased him.
I fixed them both a plate and placed them on the table. Juan was looking like a sad puppy, so I went to make a plate for him and one for me as well. We all sat at the table like the little mix matched family we were and ate our dinner.
We were all laughing and talking as they teased me in Spanish. I had no clue what they were saying until Alex would tell me, and the other two would hit him for being a traitor.
Victor was in a really good mood. When I told him I had enough of the living room for the night, he went in the room with me and we sat up talking. I really liked that. It made me feel like he wanted me there for more than just sex. We just laid there, him with his head resting on my stomach as I played with his braids, talking about whatever I wanted. We fell asleep the same way.
chapter Nine
Going Dancing
The next morning Victor was gone again and I had nothing to do. I laid in the bed all morning watching TV. I thought about getting up to go to the clinic, but I was tired. I was also scared someone would see me and tell my mom. Victor had found the pills Queeny gave me and flushed them so that wasn’t an option anymore.
I was debating on going out of the room to make something to eat and see who today’s babysitter was. I was sure Victor left someone there to make sure I was okay and didn’t go out on my own. My phone rang as I sat up to get out of the bed.
“Hey.”
“You okay? Alex said you still didn’t come out of the room,” Victor said into the phone. He was sounding a little more eager than I thought he would.
“Yeah, I’m watching TV. I was tired, I’m going to get something to eat now.”
“Oh. You want me to come home?” He sounded so concerned. I was a little stunned.
“If you want to, but I’m okay.” I really was fine. He didn’t need to worry. I was just catching up on some sleep.
“Give me an hour. I’ll be home.”
“Okay.”
I guess I knew who my babysitter was. I got up and showered and went to make something to eat. Alex was at the table eating a sandwich and highlighting in his textbook. He was giving me a concerned look when I came out of the room. I was wondering, did Victor call him or did he call Victor.
“What’s up, you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m fine. You got Victor ready to run home,” I laughed.
“Nah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He gave me a friendly smile.
“Thanks. You good? I’m making something to eat, I can make you something too.”
“I could eat some more.” He was wearing a big grin.
I figured I should make us a snack and start dinner too. If Victor was coming home, he was probably going to be hungry. I made us some soft tacos with the little bit of leftover chicken cutlets from last night.
I had a meatloaf in the oven along with some potatoes and tomatoes I was roasting. I sat at the table with my new laptop and my textbooks. I figured I’d take advantage of the time to study.
Victor walked in the door just like he promised. He had a big smile on his face as he smelled the food I was cooking. He came over to kiss me before going in the kitchen looking for the cake I baked the other night. He and Juan had slices of cake and glasses of milk in their hands as they flopped down in front of the TV.
Alex and I were both zoned out, focused on our books. I only broke focus to check on the food in the oven. When the food was ready, I made Victor a plate before going back to my books. He was licking his fingers and singing about me when he finished eating. I was at the table laughing at him being silly.
Alex had finished his homework and was in the kitchen getting a plate. He and Juan were arguing over Juan eating too much. I was cracking up. Alex was funny. I had just fed him. He had nerve. Everyone just likes teasing Juan.
“Mama, you want to go dancing or to the movies tonight?” Victor called as he lit a joint.
“Ugh! Right now, I’m going in the room.”
“Oh, I forgot. Chill.” He put it out and came over to the table. He placed his hand in my hair and kissed me. “Where you want to go?”
“We can go dancing,” I shrugged and smiled at him.
“I was hoping you would say that. I want to watch you shake that phat ass around,” he laughed.
“Does your mouth have a filter? You just say whatever you think,” I laughed.
“You got it.”
I put my books away and went in the living room to watch TV with Victor for a while, before I ate dinner and got ready to go out. Victor had gotten dressed and went downstairs with Juan to light up. He looked handsome when he left out the door, in his black slacks and a black button down shirt. He was wearing one of his crazy sick diamond face watches and a diamond bracelet. I knew I needed to look right when I was done.
I showered and put on one of the lotions I picked up on the shopping spree. It was supposed to make your skin glow and sparkle. I put on this fitted white dress that started to flare at the hip. It had a deep cut neckline and quarter length sleeves. I figured it was perfect for a salsa club.
I looked in the mirror and I was even impressed at how good I looked. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail to show off the earrings Victor bought me. I slipped on a clear pair of stiletto wedge sandals and put my things in a white Gucci bag. I went to the living room to see if Alex was ready.
When I stepped out of the room Alex’s face lit up. He was back to looking at me the wrong way. It was sort of awkward in that moment. He walked over to me and ran his hand over my cheek before placing his hand on the small of my back and leading me to the elev
ator. I didn’t know how to react. When we got on the elevator, I stood across from him.
“You look great, Tali,” Alex said shyly.
“Thanks. You look nice too.”
And he did indeed. He was wearing white slacks with a light blue dress shirt that made his complexion look like polished bronze. He had a few of the top buttons on his shirt loose, showing off his built chest.
Both Victor and Alex are slender, but they look like they worked out. Despite the fact that I haven’t seen them lift a thing since I’ve been living with them. It isn’t fair that they both looked so good. I wouldn’t feel so bad if Victor just wasn’t as attractive as Alex, but they are both way too good looking.
He smiled at me as the elevator door opened to the garage. The minute I stepped out into the garage, Victor was howling at me. I laughed as I followed Alex to the truck. Alex opened my door and I hopped in the backseat next to Victor. He and Juan had been sitting in the truck with the windows down to air it out.
“Damn, Tali. Ma-me, you look good,” Victor crooned at me and pulled me next to him.
“Thank you.”
“You ready to have some fun.”
I was excited. This was the first time we were going somewhere with this much interaction. I was happy to be going out of the apartment for a change.
“Yup.”
When we got to the club we went straight to the VIP area. We weren’t even carded at the door. I noticed the place was crawling with members of La mafia. I figured this was one of their spots.
I wanted to dance so badly, but Victor was too busy throwing back drinks with Juan to come dance with me. After a half hour of bouncing in my seat, I asked Alex to dance with me. He stood up to take me to the dance floor and I looked at Victor to see if it was okay. He nodded and I followed Alex.
Alex was a really good dancer. I was having a ball. Alex spun me around the dance floor in perfect sync with the music. We danced to song after song as I laughed and enjoyed myself. After twenty minutes of dancing, I could feel eyes burning through my skin. I knew one pair belonged to Victor.
Alex had spun me around and as I went to meet his waiting hand, another hand grabbed my free arm and spun me back the other way. It happened so fast, I was almost dizzy. Victor had his hand on my waist and was taking the lead from Alex.
I was surprised. Victor was a really good dancer too. Only, the way he was dancing was more passionate than what Alex and I were doing. The way he was moving me around the floor was more like having sex on the dance floor, but in a tasteful way, like we were salsa partners for years.
I was really happy he came to dance with me. He looked happy too. We had been dancing for almost an hour. I was having so much fun I was ignoring the fact that my feet were starting to hurt. We went to sit for a little while as Victor drank some more and members of his crew came over to show respect.
I noticed none of them would look at me. Their girlfriends were staring, but the guys were making sure not to look in my direction. When I thought about it Alex and Sisqo were the only ones who ever really did look me in the face. Even Juan made it a point not to look at me too much or in the wrong way.
Queeny had come into the club while we were dancing, but Sisqo had her at another table. I waved at her when she looked over in my direction. She smiled and waved back. We were having so much fun tonight, I didn’t want to start a fight by trying to go talk to her.
Victor was twisted after another hour. I wanted to dance some more, but I wasn’t sure he was going to be able to. Alex was out on the floor with girl after girl.
Victor was wrapped around me singing in my ear as he felt on my legs under the table. He was trying to get me to drink with him, but I was not trying to get silly. I was having a good time without it.
“Tali, loosen up, Ma-me. Just one drink,” he whispered in my ear.
“No, I don’t want to.” He had enough to drink for the both of us.
“You don’t drink, you don’t smoke; you just like Alex. Where I find you two at?” He was teasing and in a really good mood. I loved the big smile on his face.
“Oh, shut up, you love us,” I teased.
“I do,” he moaned in my ear and pulled my face to him to kiss me. Just then the song changed. “Oh Tali, this my joint. Ma-me, come.”
He stood up and weaved his way back to the dance floor pulling me along. I was shocked he was still moving so well. He pulled me in his arms and started to dance with me again. He was staring into my eyes as his hands rested on my hips. I liked this Victor, despite the drinking he was still being nice and fun.
He spun me around and pulled my back up against him. He was singing in my ear as we danced. He was still keeping perfect timing, which was amazing to me; I knew he was pretty drunk.
“You ready to leave?” he whispered in my ear.
“Are you?” I craned my neck to ask him.
“Yeah,” he replied and slid his hand under my dress.
He put his hand between my legs and pulled me closer to his body. I reached down to stop him, but he started to kiss my neck and pushed his hand further up my dress. I looked around nervously to see if anyone could see what he was doing. The dance floor was pretty packed now, so I couldn’t be sure. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me from the nerves.
“You make me happy,” he whispered in my ear.
I couldn’t respond, I wasn’t sure what it would sound like or if someone would notice. I just bit down on my lip and pushed my back against his body as I lifted up on my toes. He had his free arm wrapped around me so he could support me, keeping me from falling.
“I want you to have my babies, Taliyah. Will you do that for me?”
I reached back and pulled his face to mine to kiss him. I had my hand locked tight in his braids. I couldn’t think straight with what he was doing. I heard what he asked me, I just couldn’t process it. I completely lost it when he started to grind up against my back. I felt the smile spread across his face as I exploded on his hand.
“Let’s go home,” he whispered and pushed my body forward through the crowd.
We got to where Juan could see us and Victor motioned to him that we were leaving. I watched Juan get my bag and go to find Alex. Victor pulled me outside to wait for them. Victor was completely focused on me. After a few minutes Juan appeared and Alex pulled up with the truck. Victor pulled me into the truck with him and wrapped himself around me to kiss me.
The ride home seemed to take forever. Once we made it to the apartment Victor pulled me straight into the bedroom. He sat me on the bed and went to use the bathroom. I took off my shoes to slide to the middle of the bed as I waited for him.
When he came back, he was shirtless and trying to pull his watch from his wrist. I kneeled on the bed and motioned for him to come over so I could help him. He pulled the ponytail from my hair so he could run his hand through it. When I had the watch in my hand he took it to put it on the end table, then climbed on the bed with me.
“Tali, I want you to give me a family,” he breathed in my face as he placed his hands in my hair.
“No Victor. I don’t want that.”
“Why? You don’t want me?” The way he said it sounded so sad. I was having a great time being with him. I just was not ready to have a baby.
“No, that’s not it. I’m just not ready for that.”
“I told you I’ll take care of you. Mama, I want you to have my seed.” He was pulling me tightly into his arms, kissing me as if he could convince me with the right kiss.
“No. Not now.”
“Taliyah please, I’ve wanted someone like you all my life. All I want is my own family. You can give me that, right?” Before I could answer he had his mouth pressed to mine.
I don’t want this. Not what he was asking. He was asking for a lot. He wanted me to fill the void his mother and the others left. I couldn’t agree to that. I didn’t want to bring a baby into the life Victor lived.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I murm
ured as I pulled away. I grabbed my t-shirt and shorts and went into the bathroom. I rinsed my face off trying to think.
I knew Victor saw things between us differently from the way I did. I thought I was being his girlfriend. Sure, there was a chance that what he was asking me for had already happened. That plays in my head every day, but now he was asking me to make a conscious choice to have a baby. I was not ready to do that.
We were still figuring out how to be together without biting each other’s heads off. I wasn’t sure if him wanting to get me pregnant was just another of his ways to try to control me. I was not trying to let him tie me down any further than he already had.
“Tali, hurry up Ma-me,” he called through the bathroom door.
“Give me a minute.”
I changed into my t-shirt and shorts after quickly washing my body down. I walked into the room to see Victor laying on the bed naked. I was too happy when I heard him snoring. He had fallen asleep waiting for me.
I went over to my side of the bed and climbed under the covers as quietly as I could. I tucked the covers around me like they would be barrier enough between us if he did wake up. One thing I was sure of was that I was going to the clinic tomorrow.
chapter ten
Trust
When I woke up the next morning Victor was still in bed snoring in my ear with his arm wrapped around me. This was not starting out as I planned. I wanted to ask Alex to drop me at the clinic on his way to school. I needed to get up before he was gone. I tried to slip from under Victor’s arm, but he tightened his hold as he moved to put his face in between my breasts.
I didn’t want to wake him because I didn’t want him asking questions. I laid there for about thirty minutes before he rolled the other way. I took the chance to run in the bathroom and get ready. If I hurried I could still catch Alex. I got dressed pleased that Victor was so wiped out. I tiptoed out of the room just in time to catch Alex walking out.
“Wait, I wanted to know if you would give me a ride.” I whispered as I ran over to Alex.
“Okay, where to?”
“The clinic,” I replied coyly and bit my lip. “Please.”