by Blue Saffire
Victor keeps teasing that he just makes large babies. I am hoping that’s the case. I freaked myself out looking up possible causes on the Internet and I don’t like my options. I would rather a big baby or two babies than something growing in there with my baby trying to steal its blood supply.
I was stressed all night, last night and all morning. However, the tables turned and Victor was the one stressed. He has been trying to hide it, but I can see it all over his face. I’m not sure how to take his reaction. After all he was getting what he wanted.
“Baby, are you okay?” I asked as I played with his hair while we rode in the back of the truck.
“Yeah Tali, you okay?”
“Yes Victor, don’t look like that,” I whined.
“Okay, what the heck happened, the suspense is killing me?” Alex called from the front seat.
“You want to tell him?” I asked.
“Yeah. Ella está embarazada de gemelos. Dos niños,” he told Alex.
“Really Mama, twins, I was just joking. Oh man, two boys. That’s what’s up. Victor, what’s wrong with you?” Alex crooned.
We now knew that Victor not only makes boys just like he has been saying for months, but he also makes twins. With Victor’s split personality it figures he would give me twins. I was huge. My two little boys were getting big in there. I just wasn’t sure if their father was happy.
“I don’t know, B. That’s more money. I was ready for one. Maybe now is not the time to walk,” Victor started.
“Oh no!” I yelled. “Is that what you’re thinking? No Victor, no.” I cried. “We don’t need more, not from there. Please, you promised.” I was crying hysterically.
“Tali, relax, Ma-me. I’m just thinking. Stop crying.” I had Victor’s full attention now.
“Victor, she is right, we’re good,” Alex demanded. He almost sounded like Victor when he is on one of his rampages. “Twins aren’t changing anything. We are good, B. It’s time man, having twins should be telling you it’s time, not that you need to stay longer.”
“Yeah, but we’re getting married, what if she gets pregnant again?” Victor sighed. “She could have twins again. I never thought about something like that. Just a little longer would set me up for that.”
“Vic, are you crazy?” Alex yelled. “We have enough for everybody in this car to get married and have thirty sets of twins. You’re not doing this, Victor.”
“You don’t walk Victor, I’m leaving and taking my babies with me. I promise you that,” I cried out.
Victor looked at me with his mouth opened, then narrowed his eyes. “You don’t mean that?” He looked like he wanted to choke me.
“The hell I don’t, Victor. You walk or I walk.” I meant every word. I already lose sleep over what he does. I have been surviving off of knowing it is almost over.
He threw his hands in his hair and pulled at it as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Tali, baby stop crying. I’m walking. If that’s what you want, Mama you got it.”
I threw my arms around him and pulled him to me. “Victor, I love you. We’re going to be fine, Poppy.” I know throwing in the poppy would make him happy.
“I love you too. Stop making my boys upset,” he teased. “Yo B, you acting worse than my girl, fix your face. I just need to set things up for two now.” Victor slapped Alex in the back of the head and Alex shrugged him off.
“We’ll talk later,” Alex grumbled, still sounding just like Victor. I have never seen him like this.
Victor finally snapped out of shock and returned to himself, rubbing my tummy and kissing me as he told me how much he loves me. Alex, on the other hand, had a serious attitude. When we got to the apartment he went straight in his room and slammed the door. Victor looked upset, but he didn’t say anything about it. He was too busy waiting on me.
I had cooked the night before, so all Victor needed to do was heat it up. That was about all I could expect him to do. Alex was the one who had been learning his way around the kitchen. Only he was so mad, it didn’t look like he was going to help out tonight at all.
I know Alex loves Victor, hearing him say he was not ready to quit was a big deal. He has been worrying about Victor backing out at the last minute and this was his worst nightmare come true. I wanted to go see if he was okay, but he looked like he needed time to himself.
“Look at you,” Victor crooned in my ear as he sat and kissed my neck. “You’re worried about Alex. I can see it in your face. Forget that Ma-me. That’s what we do, he’ll get over it.”
“I’ve never seen him like that,” I marveled.
“Like what, like me? Funny, right?” he chuckled.
“That’s not funny. He is really mad. Baby you should go talk to him.”
“Mama, when I’m mad, does talking to me work?” he asked and raised an eyebrow at me.
“No, but…”
“Tali, Alex is more like me than you think. Give him a minute.”
“Okay, but if he skips dinner, I’m going in there to check on him.”
“You’re gonna be too busy checking on me. You love me, Mama?” he crooned as he rubbed his nose to mine.
“Yes, Poppy, I love you.”
“You giving me two boys. You know I’m happy, right?” I could see the glow in his eyes, he was really happy.
“I wasn’t sure at first, you scared me,” I laughed.
“Sorry, Ma-me, I thought that old bird was seeing things,” Victor laughed. “If I didn’t see them myself I wouldn’t believe it.”
“But we’re good now, right? We’re having two boys and you’re quitting for good?” I locked eyes with him to make sure he was telling me the truth.
“Yeah Tali, we having two boys. I still think a little more time would make things better, though,” he sighed and pecked me on the lips.
“See, that is why Alex is mad. You are not taking us seriously, Victor.” I started to pout and tried not to cry in case Alex came out of the room. I didn’t want him to catch on and get more upset.
“Tali, don’t be like that. I said, I’m out.”
“Saying it and meaning it, are two different things.”
“Tali, that’s two months from now, stop stressing about it.”
“Fine, go get the food out of the oven before you burn it,” I grumbled and pushed him off the couch.
Victor jumped up off the couch and went to put our food on the table. Alex came out of the room a few minutes later still looking upset. I wanted to tease him about how much he looked like Victor, while he was brooding. They definitely hang out together way too much. However, he looked like he might bite my head off if I tried teasing him.
“Are you okay, Alex?” I whispered as he sat at the table with us.
“Don’t worry about it, Mama,” Alex replied stabbing at his plate. “Victor, I don’t know what you think is so funny, B. Word, we gonna talk later, B.” Victor was chuckling at Alex from the time he saw his face.
“Alex, stop stressing, kid. You and Tali will get what you want.” Victor gave Alex an endearing look. I could see the bond of their relationship, they were both worried about each other.
I looked between Victor and Alex. Looking at Alex’s tight expression, I couldn’t help myself. I burst into laughter as Juan came to sit down at the table with us, looking confused because the tension was still in the room between Victor and Alex. Alex looked at me like I was crazy at first, but a tiny smile hit the corners of his mouth as he heard me laugh.
“I’m sorry Alex,” I laughed out, trying to catch my breath. “You just need to see yourself. Oh, my gosh, you look and sound just like Victor. Please… stop… I can’t take it.” I was panting from the laughter, as I reached for Alex’s face.
The moment I touched him, the frown disappeared and he started to laugh with me.
“That’s much better. I think you two spend way too much time together. You just pulled off a flawless Victor impersonation.” I was wiping the tears from my eyes as I laughed.
“Whatever, Tali. I want to see you laughing that much when those babies act just like Victor.” Alex was all smiles now as he teased me.
“Oh no, I’m not taking that. My boys are not going to act anything like the psycho Victor,” I pouted and looked at Victor. “I love you, baby, but one of you is enough.”
“Whatever, Tali. My boys are going to be just like they Poppy.” Victor was grinning at me and wiggling his eyebrows as if to tell me I knew he was right.
I sure did hope he is wrong. I planned on doing my best to make sure he was wrong. Just thinking about two little boys, as angry and mean as Victor can be, made my stomach twist in knots.
I was losing my mood for laughter just thinking about it. I placed my hand on my huge stomach and started to rub it like I could rub happiness into their lives if I just rubbed the right way.
“I’m just happy it’s not girls. Bad enough, I have to take Tali to the salon. I wasn’t looking forward to driving around two little princesses,” Juan teased.
“Whatever, Juan, you still won’t make up your mind about leaving,” I laughed as I threw my napkin at him.
“Yeah, I know, this is my home,” Juan thought out loud. “But ya’ll my family. It is starting to sound good though. Besides, what would Victor do without me?”
“Smoke in peace,” Victor chuckled. “Juan gets high, just to talk too much.” We all started to laugh. Victor was right though, it’s like Juan saves up everything he wants to say for when he gets high and then you can’t shut him up.
“Speaking of which, I’m on my way down to the truck, you coming?” Juan sang as he got up and pulled a joint from his hoodie pocket.
“Ma-me, you cool? I’ll be right back,” Victor asked as he went to follow Juan.
“Ohh, before you guys smoke. I’m out of pineapples and ice cream.”
“I got you, Baby,” Victor crooned and came to kiss me on the lips as he headed for the door.
I cleaned the rest of my plate, while Alex sat quiet. I knew he was still angry with Victor. I wanted to cheer him up, but I wasn’t sure what would help, Alex is always in a good mood.
“Okay, come in the room and watch TV with me. I’ll let you rub my feet. That will piss Victor off when he gets back,” I laughed.
“No, Mama, it’s not the feet the makes him mad, it’s when I rub your back,” Alex winked.
“Come on, Victor can do the dishes.”
We got up and went into the room. Alex was still a little moody, but he really looked more tired than anything. I was sure taking care of me and worrying about Victor was taking a toll on him.
I climbed into the bed. Alex sat in his usual chair next to the bed, leaning over to rest his head on my lap, as I propped up against my pillows. As I rubbed his caesar I thought about how he used to wear his hair in a curly fro, not as long as Victor’s hair, but still curly. I hadn’t seen his hair like that since I moved in.
A lot had changed over the last few months. I was trying to find my way back to where everything had changed. I sighed and quickly gave up. Alex would never be more than a friend that I loved a whole lot.
Which lead me to my next thought wondered what was taking Victor so long to come back with my ice cream. I was wondering if he forgot all about me once he got to the truck to smoke. Then my mind started to race.
What if Victor decided to go back to the hood? What if something was wrong? Alex had fallen asleep on my lap and I didn’t want to move. I convinced myself I was overreacting. After a few minutes, I fell into a restless sleep myself.
I was half sleep when Victor did come back. I felt when Alex lifted his head from my lap. I didn’t get up I was too mad at Victor. I wanted my pineapples and ice cream hours ago. I just moved around a little to get more comfortable.
“Yo, B, what happened?” I heard Alex ask anxiously.
“It’s nothing we had to go handle something,” Victor rushed sounding aggravated.
“See, this is what I’m talking about, Victor. This needs to stop.”
“Alex, I told you, I’m out. I just need to make sure things are right before I walk.”
“No Vic, you don’t, B. Look at her, is she not enough? Two sons Vic, are they not enough? I can’t believe you would even think about more time in. I would walk away today for her, for them.”
“Yo, Alex, we’ll talk about it. I need to get these clothes off before she sees,” Victor sighed and moved quickly toward the bathroom.
I didn’t have to see Victor to know that something wrong happened that night. I could hear it in his and Alex’s voices. I clutched my pillow in agony. I wanted to be done with this life. The more I lived with Victor, the more I started to see things I really didn’t want to see at all.
chapter sixteen
Love Lost
Victor, Alex, and I were like the three Amigos. We were making plans for the move and Victor and I were planning our trip to Vegas. The two of them were really all the family I had. My mom really didn’t want anything to do with me when she found out I was pregnant.
Somehow, Queeny thought it would be a good idea to go ask my mother if she wanted help with planning my baby shower. It occurred to me that Yesenia wasn’t just being nosy with her warning. Victor almost had a fit when he found out what she had done.
He threatened to go slap her a number of times. I told him it wasn’t worth it. My mother had to find out sometime. There was no hiding this belly.
I just couldn’t wait for the month to be over. Victor would be out of the game. I wouldn’t have to be on pins and needles the whole time he would be away from me.
Since that night, he came home with the bloody clothes, I have been trying to get him to stay home with me more. I found the clothes tucked at the bottom of the hamper the next day. I never asked what happened, I didn’t want to know.
Victor has still been freaking out since we found out we’re having twins. He is still talking about trying to stack a little more for a few more months. He wouldn’t talk about it in front of Alex though. I refuse to listen. We would be fine with what we have.
That hasn’t stopped him from trying to talk me into waiting a few more months. I think he is more scared of not being in the life. It is all he knows. Alex has reassured him plenty of times that I could have five more babies and we would be fine well pass sending them to college.
I just know that when the day for quitting comes, everything will be fine. We just have to get to that day, where he can wake up and know everything is fine. He’ll know he has his family. His real family that loves him and wants him safe.
One more week and he will be free from being the La Mafia boss. We are not leaving New York right away. Victor wants the babies to be born here in Harlem Hospital like he was. I am fine with that. We are always in our own world in the apartment anyway, a safe world.
Alex is excited. He invested their money in a hotel. That’s going to be what the two of them are going to run, while we’re in Miami to start. Alex is also developing a website that he thinks is going to make us some real money.
Victor has been looking at schools. He has not applied to any yet, because of his plans to talk me into a little more time. Victor is too smart to waste any more time in this life. I want to see him do something that doesn’t make him feel the need to be guarded all the time.
I was exhausted. I love shopping, but being seven months pregnant with twins and trying to walk around a mall to shop is not fun at all. My little boys must be in there fighting. They were so fussy in there yesterday. I know they are running out of room, but they are still kicking my butt.
I had plans to blend into the couch for the whole day. Victor was watching TV with me, but he was getting ready to go out. I didn’t want him to leave. It seemed like the babies felt the same way. They were moving around every time they heard his voice. We were laughing because he actually had to get quiet for a minute for them to calm down.
“Yo, B, you ready?” Juan called across the room.
“Yeah,” Victor r
eplied.
“No, I don’t want you to go,” I whined.
“Ma-me, I’ll be right back.”
“No,” I pouted and climbed across his lap. It looked like my belly was going to swallow him up. “Don’t you want to stay home with me?”
“I would love to stay home with you, Mama,” he crooned and kissed my stomach.
“Good, then stay,” I pouted some more.
“You really want me too?” he asked, looking sad that I was upset.
“Yes.”
I almost had my way until his phone rang. He held one hand on my belly as our boys moved around, answering the phone with the other. His face twisted up at the voice coming through the phone. He patted my thigh for me to get up so he could move. I did my best to get up from his lap without falling over.
He got up to pace the room as he listened and yelled in Spanish. My gut was really turning now. I could tell the babies didn’t like the change in the tone in his voice. I had my arms folded across my stomach in full pout mode. He hung up the phone and came over to kiss me.
“Sorry, Mama, I gotta go,” he grumbled.
“I love you,” I whined.
“I love you too. I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay.”
I felt like someone was ripping something from my arms as he left out. It was getting harder and harder these days for me to let him leave. Alex came over to sit with me and I laid down to rest my head on his lap. Alex rubbed my hair and tried to tell me jokes to cheer me up.
“So, Mama, you gonna let me teach you Spanish so my nephews don’t plan wild parties while you’re sitting right in front of them?” he laughed.
“Oh, my goodness, are they going to sound like you and Victor?” I laughed.
“You know you love the accent, baby. What, that’s how they gonna get all the girls,” he teased.
“I hope they learn to be best friends like you and Victor. I want them to watch each other’s back. You know?”
“They will. They’re real brothers they have to.”
“I hope so.”