by Blue Saffire
Alex sat back down and continued to watch the TV. I could smell the food he had cooked. It smelled like he did a good job.
I had plans to try it out as soon as I was done with the boys. My mom looked like she wanted them back as soon as I was done anyway. I wasn’t going to fight her.
Once I started to burp the babies. Alex got up and went into the kitchen. My mother watched him walk away to insure he was making a decent length trip. When she saw him taking out a plate, she quickly turned back to me to start her questioning.
“These are not his children, right?” she whispered.
“No, he’s their uncle,” I answered.
“You two were kissing that day in the hospital. What was that about?”
“It’s a long story, but I’m in love with him. It’s a little complicated.”
“But you were in love with their father, weren’t you?” She asked with appraising eyes.
“Yes, mom. I said it’s complicated. I loved Victor very much, but I love Alex too. Things got mixed up that’s all, but I think we can fix it. I want to fix it,” I mused.
“I think he’s in love with you too. He has done nothing, but talk about you and he is very good with these babies,” she paused to look in the kitchen. “Personally, I like him for you.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I teased as I gave her baby Alex. “I like him for me too.”
Alex returned with a plate of food for me and placed it on the table, while I finished with baby Victor. He took the baby when I was done and went back to his seat. My mother was back to watching Alex and appraising him with the baby and how he was taking care of me.
“When was the last time you two got out of this place?” she asked suddenly.
“We don’t go out much. Tali, didn’t feel comfortable being pregnant and all. We just go to school and the doctor,” Alex shrugged.
“You guys don’t go to the movies or anything like that?” she pushed.
“No mom, with everything that has been going on we kind of just hang out here.”
“I can tell, but that’s what I mean. You two look like you need to get out of here. You’re young, you don’t need to sit here and mope. I understand your loss, I really do, but in order to move forward you two need to start living again.”
“Well, I won’t be going anywhere now,” I snorted as I ate the food Alex gave me. It was really good. I was proud of him.
“Why not? My grandsons are safe with me. I think the two of you should go see a movie or something,” she offered.
“Mom, I can’t leave them,” I whined.
“A quick movie is not going to hurt anyone. Besides, you are better to them if you are happy and relaxed.”
“I don’t know. I’ll miss them. Besides Alex might have plans.” I looked at Alex to see his reaction to what my mom was trying to do.
“My plans were to hang out with you guys,” he shrugged. “I’ll take you to a movie if you want.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes Tali, I would like that. Your mom is kind of right. I do need to get out of here.”
“Okay. I guess just a quick movie.” I could see what my mother was doing. I also thought she was right though. We have kind of buried ourselves in the same routine of being in this apartment.
I finished my food and started working on leaving enough milk for the twins while I’m away. I was trying not to get too upset that I was leaving them. It was harder than I thought.
My mother kept telling me I wasn’t being a bad mother for going out. She said in this case it really was a good thing. I didn’t know what Alex and I looked like to the outside world. We had been grieving together and I wouldn’t have known the difference if my mother hadn’t pointed it out.
The apartment did look kind of sad when I thought about it, and so did Alex and I. Even with the excitement of the babies there was definitely something out of place. We were not hiding that fact very well.
I got dressed and fixed my hair so we could go out. It felt weird getting ready to go out with Alex. I was excited though.
I was wondering if he saw it as a date or just us as friends. I had a lot of questions. A part of me felt like my mom wasn’t the only one pushing this along. It was like fate was pushing us to move on with our lives.
Alex had a big grin on his face when I came out. He looked really nice in a pair of black jeans and a blue button down shirt. I was nervous about how I looked.
I had actually lost a lot of weight after the babies. My jeans were sort of big on me. My mom said it runs in the family. She was two sizes smaller than before she was pregnant right after having me.
Alex walked over to me and stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. I smiled at him and he reached for my back to lead me toward the elevator. My mom was smiling and waving bye to us as she sat with the twins. I found so much irony in all of this.
When we got in the car, I wanted to talk to Alex. I just wanted to get my thoughts together. He was being quiet as he drove. I really wanted to know what he was thinking.
“Alex,” I started.
“What’s up?” he answered.
“What does this mean to you? Is it like a date or are we just going out as friends?” I asked coyly.
He was hesitant to answer. I could see him biting his lip as he thought of what he was going to say. “Do you want the truth?” he finally said.
“Yes, I want you to be honest with me.”
“I was really hoping you would want this to be a date, but if you’re not ready for that I understand,” he replied.
“No Alex, I was hoping you wanted this to be a date.”
I was relieved that he wanted the same thing. A big grin spread across his face. He reached over to hold my hand and my heart skipped a beat.
The date wasn’t awkward at all. We had a nice time at the movies. He held my hand the whole time. I really liked that.
I wanted to get back to the twins, so when the movie was over we started right for home. We were both talking a lot more now, laughing about the movie. I figured I could get into my other questions since we were so comfortable. We were just about home, so I jumped into them before time was out.
“I had a really great time tonight,” I said as I reached over to touch his face.
“Me too.” His face was beaming. I hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, mama, anything.”
“What am I to you?”
“I don’t know. I know what I want you to be.”
“Well, what is that?” I was hoping he would say he wanted me to be his girlfriend, what I wanted to be for so long.
“Tali, I want to marry you.”
I was in complete shock. That was not what I expected him to say and it was way more than I wanted. I sat with my mouth open, not sure how to react.
I wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming or hearing things. What happened to dating? This was our first real date and we were skipping right to marriage.
I thought about how much time I spent with Alex since I moved into the apartment. I was with him more than I was with Victor. We had a really unusual relationship to begin with.
All our talks and all the hanging out started to flash before me. I realized that my time with him has always meant more to him. It was like he was stealing time.
Getting what he wanted out of the strange situation. I could see the way he would look at me when no one was around. I remembered his tenderness toward me when no one was watching. I could see that for him, wanting to marry me did make sense.
“I know that is probably hard for you to hear,” he said as he parked the car. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’m getting a shot at what I want and this time I’m not waiting for anyone else to step in front of me.”
“No, it’s not hard,” I said in almost a whisper. “I just wasn’t expecting that. I would have been happy if you said you wanted me to be your girlfriend.” I grinned at him and shr
ugged my shoulders.
“That’s not good enough for me. I love you. I would be happy if you say you want to marry me,” he said firmly as he stared into my eyes.
I leaned across the seat and kissed him. He placed his hand in my hair and held my face to his. In that very kiss, it hit me I was getting what I wanted.
I had the biggest crush in the world on Alex. I had dreamed of our wedding and spending the rest of my life with him. It didn’t all happen the way I wanted but it was happening.
I pulled away searching his eyes for confirmation of his words. It was there, he wasn’t just saying this to be loyal to his brother’s wishes to take care of me. He really did love me.
“I want to marry you,” I said. He pulled my face back to his and kissed me again.
We sat there for a few minutes locked in each other’s embrace. I only pulled away because I really did want to get upstairs to the babies. I kissed him on the cheek as he watched me.
“I think I should get upstairs,” I explained.
“Okay,” he answered and kissed me gently once more.
We went upstairs and as we entered the apartment my mother was sitting watching the food network. I’d gotten in just in time. Just as I went to sit with her, I heard the babies crying on the baby monitor. I wanted to take care of them myself. I missed them.
I went to the nursery as my mother followed. She helped me get settled in the rocking chair so that I could feed the twins. She was giving me a big grin and I could tell we were going to talk about my date. I was having a hard time letting go of the huge smile on my own face.
“So? How did it go?” she started.
“He asked me to marry him,” I sang smiling hard as I said it out loud and let it really register.
“Wow, I just thought you two needed to go out. I guess I was right about him being in love with you.” She had a huge smile of her own.
“I know. I wasn’t expecting it either,” I shrugged.
“So does that mean you are going to take that ring off,” she said and nodded to my hand that still holds the ring Victor had given me.
I ran my finger across it as I remembered it was there. I hadn’t thought about that. I never take it off. My mother sat waiting for me to answer, but I couldn’t.
“Liyah, honey, I know you’re hurting over Victor, but you won’t be able to move on until you really let go. The longer you hold on, the harder it will be,” my mother said sincerely.
“I know,” I thought out loud.
We sat in silence from then on as I finished with the twins and put them to sleep. I thought about what my mother was saying. I knew she was right. I needed to give Alex the chance he deserved and that meant letting Victor go.
When I walked out of the nursery and went to the living room, Alex had the couch made up for him to go to bed. He was already dressed in his sweatpants and a sleeveless t-shirt. He sat up as I entered the room, but I went straight into my bedroom.
I went to my jewelry box and pulled the ring from my finger. I sat it in the box and stared down at it for a few minutes before I closed the lid. A single tear fell from my eye and I wiped it away.
I went over to my bed and stripped the sheets down. I removed the pillowcases I had refused to change because it had Victor’s scent, which I didn’t want to let go of. I placed them in the hamper and went for new linens and redressed the bed. When I was done, I showered and put on a nightgown and robe before returning to the living room.
Alex watched me come out as he laid under his blankets on the couch, but didn’t move this time. I walked over to him and reached for his hand. I pulled him from the couch and led him into my room.
I closed the door behind us and removed my robe. I walked over to the bed and climbed in. He stood staring at me looking as if he was thinking about something.
“Are you sure this is okay with you? Are you ready for this?” he asked softly.
“Come,” I said patting the bed next to me.
He walked over to the other side of the bed and climbed in under the covers with me. I slid closer to him and he wrapped his arm around me and kissed me. I laid back against the bed and let him kiss me.
He pulled away and kissed my forehead, then rested his face in my neck. We fell asleep just like that. Me in his arms only thinking of him.
chapter twenty-one
Why Wait?
I woke the next morning to Alex staring at me, stroking my hair and pushing it out of my face. He was wearing the biggest smile I’d ever seen. Before I could clear my head and react to him, I heard the babies crying through the baby monitor. I rolled out of bed and rinsed my face before rushing to their room.
I was so happy this morning. I washed and fed the twins and got them dressed for the day. My mother was in their room shortly after me. She was pushing me out to go spend time with Alex as soon as I had the boys dressed.
I went back to my room, but Alex was gone. I didn’t notice him in the kitchen or the living room. I sat on the bed and it all crashed in on me.
I felt so hurt. I started to think that last night was too much, he had changed his mind. It took me a minute, but I pulled it together and got dressed.
I spent the rest of the day a little bummed out. My mother thought I was over reacting, but I didn’t understand why he left. I thought he would at least say something.
I figured I had made progress no matter what, so I wouldn’t be too upset. I just really wanted to be with him. However, I realized that maybe I moved too fast.
I had just put the twins to bed when Alex walked in the apartment. He came to sit next to me on the couch. He was looking at me with a curious expression as I was still wearing the sad face I held all day.
“What’s wrong, Mama,” he asked.
I shrugged. “You left and didn’t say anything. Am I moving too fast,” I murmured.
He placed his hand in my hair, drew my face to his and kissed me. It was not at all the sweet innocent type of kiss I was used to from him. It was much deeper and more passionate. He took my breath away. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him tight.
“I had something I needed to do,” he breathed in my face as he pulled away.
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box. My eyes got wide as he opened the box. The ring inside was beautiful.
In the center was a huge round diamond. It was surrounded by clusters of blue sapphires and diamonds. Alex beamed as he held the ring out to me.
“The jeweler said blue sapphires are for healing. I want you to know I’m not trying to replace Victor. I just want to heal your heart and make a place of my own,” he explained.
“Alex, you already have a place of your own,” I sang and pulled his face to mine. I could feel the smile stretch across his lips as I kissed him.
“I was thinking you and the twins are the only family I have and for you there is your moms. I mean, if you want to do the whole Vegas thing we could, but I thought we could go to the courthouse and get married there,” Alex said excitedly as he pulled away.
“Vegas is not important to me. We can do it here,” I sang and rubbed my nose against his.
“So, I was thinking we could go Friday.”
“Friday? Are you serious? You sure do move fast,” I teased.
“I know how important time is and I want to spend the rest of every minute of my life with you,” he replied as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek.
“Okay, Friday is fine.” I was so happy. He took the ring from the box and placed it on my finger just before gently pecking me on the lips. “That means I only have one day to find something to wear.”
“We can go shopping tomorrow,” he laughed.
“Yeah, but I don’t want you to see it.”
He smiled and pecked me on the cheek before getting up to go into his room that my mother has been staying in. I sat admiring the beautiful ring on my finger. It was absolutely gorgeous, he had to have spent a lot on it.
He returned with a money pouch
and placed it on my lap. I looked up at him curiously and picked it up. I unzipped it to look inside and there was a stack of cash inside.
It had to be at least a hundred grand inside along with a bunch of credit cards. I pulled the cards out and saw they all had my name on them. As I flipped through them I noticed some were debit cards and others were credit cards.
“That should be enough to get you what you want,” Alex said with a big smile. “That’s just to start.”
“Are you serious?” I giggled.
“I want you to have whatever you want. I was thinking if your moms doesn’t want to go back to work when her leave is up she can stay with us and help you with the babies from now on,” Alex offered.
“I would like that. I’ll ask her, but will that be okay?” I asked.
“I promise you never have to worry about a thing. We have enough to live the way we always have. We can afford to take care of the twins and as many babies as we want. That is if you want more.”
“I’ll give you as many babies as you want,” I sang as I kissed him.
“I want a lot, Mama,” he beamed and laughed. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. This was so surreal. I was getting married in two days to the man I always wanted.
chapter twenty-two
Mrs. Delgado
I woke up Friday morning super nervous. My mother insisted that Alex stay somewhere else the night before we got married. That only freaked me out, but she was so excited about everything I went along with her wishes. I didn’t want her to know how anxious I really was about Alex being away from me.
I didn’t know where he was going to go. He promised me he would stay somewhere safe. I was just worried he was going to stay with La Mafia. I sat up most the night wondering if he was okay.
As I stood in the mirror getting ready, I was nervous about whether or not Alex would like my dress. I had pumped twice this morning trying to get rid of the swelling, but it wasn’t working. The dress was a silk chiffon fuchsia spaghetti strapped gown with an empire waist and crystals embedded under the bust line.