“Anytime, Mama, anytime,” the big man nodded to Shelby before leaving her to think about things as she got ready to head home.
A few minutes later Shelby’s door opened and a smiling Lily entered. “I’m ready to go home, Mama,” she announced.
“I’ll be ready in a few minutes, baby.” Shelby headed to her bathroom and finished her nightly routine before returning to her dressing room.
Sitting down on the couch next to Lily Shelby saw one of the girl’s favorite picture books in her lap. “Enjoying your book?”
A wide smile met Shelby’s question, “Yep. I love it when the pig outsmarts the wolf by getting a massage and a bath and everything.”
“Me too,” Shelby agreed before closing the book and taking it from Lily. “I’ll read this to you before bed tonight but right now we need to talk, Lily.”
“Talk about what, Mama?”
“Do you remember the attitude you gave me when we came off stage tonight?”
Lily’s eyes dropped to her lap. “It wasn’t a big attitude, Mama. I just wanted to go out and get burgers and fries with Steve and Cally.”
“What’s the rule about going out after shows, Lily?” Shelby asked.
“That we don’t do it unless it’s already planned, a special occasion or Sunday because we don’t have to work on Monday,” Lily replied quietly.
“Also, with the media I think that it’s best that we don’t go out for a while and I don’t want you out without me.”
“Oh,” Lily sighed heavily.
“So why did you get such an attitude when I told you that you couldn’t go?” Shelby pressed.
“Because I really wanted to go and I was hoping you’d forget the rules.” Lily leaned her head against Shelby’s shoulder. “It’s not fair, Mama. Steve and Cally get to go out.”
“I am not Steve or Cally’s mama, Lily. I am your mama and you do not go out after the show for a burger and fries. I didn’t appreciate the attitude you gave me.”
“Is that why I got a swat, Mama?” Lily whispered.
“Yes, that is reason you got a swat and you are very lucky that you aren’t getting more swats, little girl.” Shelby’s voice was firm and she looked into Lily’s face. “If you continue with the attitude you will be getting more than one swat, do you understand me?”
Lily nodded her head quickly, “Yes, Mama, I understand you real good.”
Shelby smiled and kissed Lily on the top of her head, “Glad to hear that. Now, let’s go home.”
* * *
“No! You can’t make me!” Lily stomped her foot at Shelby and shook her head in frustration.
A week had passed since Cora’s arrest. Big Lily had not been seen since the photography incident and Shelby wondered how Lily was going to cope at the D.A.’s office the following day. Little Lily’s temper had been worse than Shelby had ever experienced and right now Shelby was at her wit’s end.
“Lily Anne, go to your room and wait for me.” Shelby’s voice was almost too calm and her body language spoke volumes to Lily.
“You’re just being mean!” Lily shouted before stomping down the hallway and slamming her door.
Heading to the kitchen, Shelby took a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long drink. Noticing that it was still early she decided that an extra yoga class just might be what she needed. Picking up her phone from the counter she scanned through her contacts before pressing the button.
Smiling as she ended the call Shelby headed to her room. Getting ready to leave rather quickly she then moved to Lily’s room. Hoping that Lily wouldn’t have yet another tantrum Shelby knocked briefly and then entered the room.
“Lily,” Shelby sat down next to Lily on the floor. “What are you doing?”
“Reading to Albie,” Lily didn’t look at Shelby and seemed to be trying to pretend she wasn’t there.
“I see.” Shelby put her hand on Lily’s knee causing Lily to look at her.
“Are we going someplace, Mama?”
Shelby shook her head. “We are not going anyplace. However, I am going out for a little bit.”
“You’re going to leave me alone?” Lily’s eyes were wide and she looked at Shelby with a scared look on her face.
“I am not going to leave you alone, Lily. You are going to have a babysitter.”
“A babysitter?” Lily’s eyes registered shock.
“Do you remember when we talked about John and the photographer?”
Lily nodded, “Uh-huh, you said he has a little girl too.”
“That’s right, I did.” Shelby put her arm around Lily and pulled her close. “Uncle John is going to babysit you today.”
Lily’s brow wrinkled in a frown as she thought for a few moments, “Is his little girl coming too?”
Shelby shook her head, “No, she had plans for today already. It’s just going to be Uncle John. How do you feel about that?”
Lily shrugged. “Is he gonna spank me?” she whispered.
“I hope he doesn’t feel the need to spank you, Lily,” Shelby began and then pulled Lily onto her lap. “He will not spank you, Lily. Uncle John might put you in time out, but if he thinks you’ve earned a spanking then he will talk to me and I will decide what needs to happen.”
Lily began to play with Shelby’s fingers as she thought. “I guess it’s okay if Uncle John comes to babysit. Do you think he likes to color?”
“I think he might enjoy that.”
The ringing of the doorbell interrupted the conversation and Shelby was glad that Lily didn’t tense at the noise. “Would you like to help me let Uncle John in, Lily?”
Standing up Lily nodded happily. “You’re gonna let me unlock the door and let him in?”
Shelby nodded and then laughed as Lily took her hand and tugged on it, “Come on, Mama. Let’s not keep the man waiting.”
“Who is it?” Lily called through the door.
“Uncle John,” the big man’s voice boomed and Lily giggled as Shelby nodded.
Reaching up on her tiptoes Lily unlocked the door and let him in smiling when he picked her up and swung her around. “I hear we’re going to spend some time together today while Mama goes out.”
Lily nodded trying to keep her balance as he put her down in front of him. “Yep. Do you like to color, Uncle John? What about cookies? I bet you could reach the cookies without using the step stool.”
“No cookies, Lily,” Shelby admonished. Seeing the pout on Lily’s face Shelby cracked. “If Uncle John thinks that you’ve earned a treat then he may give you a couple of cookies.”
“Oh boy,” Lily’s grin spread across her face. “They’re the best cookies ever, Uncle John.” Lily’s excitement was evident and John chuckled at the girl.
“I love cookies so I hope you earn a treat.” He bent down and tapped Lily on the nose. “How about you go pick out something for us to do while I talk to Mama before she leaves?”
“Will you say goodbye to me, Mama?” Lily asked nervously.
“I wouldn’t dream of not saying goodbye, Lily,” Shelby replied.
“Okay, I’ll go pick out some stuff to do then.” Lily headed down the hallway as Shelby and John sat in the living area.
“Thanks for coming early, John.”
“No problem.” John leaned back in the over-stuffed chair he’d chosen. “So I take it you have a few questions,” he stated.
“Not questions so much as a few last minute things.” Shelby put her hands in her lap and gathered her thoughts before speaking. “First, I told Lily that you wouldn’t spank her but if you felt she needed one then you would tell me.”
John nodded, “I was going to suggest that anyway. It’s too soon for us to even think about me spanking little Lily. Though how do you feel if I put her in time out?”
“I think that’s fine,” Shelby smirked. “She has been in rare form for a week now. Feel free to find a corner or however you do time out. Believe me, she is not a stranger to it.”
John laughed, “I
didn’t think she would be. So do you think she’s really okay with me watching her?”
“I think she gave in just a bit too easily,” Shelby admitted with a sigh.
John nodded. “She wouldn’t be the first to do that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think she needs the break from you as much as you need it from her, but it’s not going to stop her from challenging me as well.”
“Good luck then,” Shelby replied nervously.
“We’ll be fine. You go say your goodbyes, Mama, and leave little Lily to her Uncle John.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” John walked with Shelby down the hallway and shook his head at the sight that met him.
* * *
“Lily?” Shelby’s voice was met with a huge grin.
“I’m making a tea party, Mama!” Lily bounced to Shelby and hugged her tightly. “Uncle John and I are going to have tea and paint nails, and do all sorts of fun stuff.”
“I see that,” Shelby chuckled at the child friendly beauty supplies lined up on Lily’s vanity next to the table holding the tea party. “Be good for Uncle John and I will see you soon.”
“Are you sure you need to go?” Lily whispered as Shelby hugged her.
“I am,” Shelby kissed Lily’s cheek gently. “You will be just fine, Lily. Enjoy your day and I’ll be home before you know it.”
“Okay, Mama.” Giving Shelby a hard hug Lily released her and watched as she left the room her face falling the farther Shelby’s footsteps echoed down the hallway.
She was just about ready to run after Shelby when John stepped in, “So are we going to have that tea party or not, Lily?”
“You really wanna have a tea party?” Lily looked up at the giant in front of her.
“I do, but I’m not sure I’ll fit in the chair at the table.”
Lily looked at John again and had to agree that all six foot six inches of the man probably wouldn’t fit at her tea table. Letting out a giggle as she imagined him trying to fit into the chair she took his hand and led him to the table. “Maybe you need to sit Japanese style.”
“Maybe I do,” he agreed as Lily giggled once more.
* * *
“Shelby!” Turning her head Shelby waved to the blonde already sitting at an outdoor table. She had come from her yoga class to meet John’s wife and she hoped to find some insight after speaking with Alicia.
Quickly weaving through the tables Shelby was met with a hug from the shorter woman along with a smile, “It’s so nice to see you again. John said that you wanted to talk.”
Sitting down Shelby nodded at John’s wife, “Thanks for meeting me, Alicia,” Shelby waved to the waitress and ordered an iced tea for herself.
“It’s no problem.” Alicia ran her hands through her straight hair and sat back. “John says you needed a break from little Lily today.”
“That would be an understatement,” Shelby affirmed as her tea arrived. “She has been a royal terror since Cora’s arrest.”
“I can only imagine,” Alicia began. “How long have you been together?”
“We’ve been working together for over a year but have only been together as a couple for a few months.” Shelby shook her head. “It all seemed to come together so naturally. John tells me you’ve been together for fourteen years?”
Alicia shook her head, “Actually we’ve been together for sixteen, but I’ve been his little for fourteen. It took us both a while to admit what we truly needed and wanted in our relationship.”
“Did you ever do this to John? Push him I mean, the way Lily is currently pushing me.” Shelby stirred her tea with the straw.
“What exactly is she doing, Shelby?” Alicia asked quietly.
“What isn’t she doing?” Shelby deadpanned. “She’s drawn on the walls, tried to get to the contraband cookies again, has thrown more tantrums over the smallest things, refused to put her toys away…” Shelby stopped speaking as Alicia began to laugh.
“Has she hidden her vegetables in the flower pot or tried to flush them down the toilet yet?” The woman’s blue eyes sparkled with the question.
“She hid them under the chair cushion,” Shelby replied. “She also tried to wash her crayons in the washer. I caught her before she started the machine.”
“Let me guess, her crayons were dirty?” Alicia giggled again at Shelby’s nod.
“She is in deep, Shelby.”
“What do you mean?” Shelby may have been more familiar with age play than Lily but she wasn’t as familiar with it as Alicia and John.
“I mean that she’s hiding from big Lily right now. She doesn’t want to face the things that big Lily is going to have to face in the coming days or weeks.”
“That makes sense,” Shelby admitted. “We have a meeting with the D.A. tomorrow. Something about Cora and her plea. I’ve tried to talk to Lily about it but she’s refusing and I can’t very well talk with little Lily about Cora because that’s not fair to either of us.”
“Exactly,” Alicia smiled at Shelby. “Lily knows that you won’t push the situation with little Lily and she’s taking advantage of that. You have good instincts, Shelby and you need to use them in this situation.”
“So what do I do? I don’t want to force her to be big but the D.A. requested that we both be there tomorrow. I’m not sure why, but little Lily would not be the choice to take along.”
“You give her an out,” Alicia answered quickly. “Let her know that big Lily might be needed at the D.A., but as soon as you’re done there then little Lily can come back for as long as she needs.”
“I guess I can do that,” Shelby stirred her tea again. “The thing is, as much as I love little Lily, I’m missing big Lily.”
“Balance is a big part of these relationships, Shelby. It took a long time for John and me to find that balance and sometimes we still struggle with it. Right now Lily needs the safety of Mama and of being little. When she’s ready she’ll be big Lily again and then you can talk all this out. It’s not easy but it’s well worth it.”
“Oh I agree with you,” Shelby drank some more of her tea. “I know that I want to be with Lily forever if she’ll have me. We just need to figure out all parts of our relationship.”
“Exactly,” Alicia looked at Shelby for a moment and spoke once more. “Have you thought of a code word?”
“Code word? You mean like a safe word?” Shelby asked.
“In a way, but the code word would be used when you need to talk to Lily. Not little Lily, not big Lily, just Lily. It would be helpful right about now. Lily could also use it when she needed to speak to you. It would be a safe way to be able to talk with no pressure for either of you.”
Shelby gave a small smile, “That is a really good idea, Alicia. I think we’ll have to talk about it.”
“I would recommend it. I would also recommend consistency, Shelby. She needs to know that Mama is still going to hold her accountable and do all the things she usually does.”
Shelby thought for a moment. “So I stick to her bedtime, the bath routine, and the punishments when needed?”
“Exactly,” Alicia patted Shelby’s hand. “I told you that you had good instincts. Just do what feels right for the two of you and I think you’ll be just fine.”
“Thank you for meeting me today. I think I needed this more than I needed the yoga class,” Shelby had finally relaxed enough to know that Alicia was correct. She just needed to follow her instincts in regards to Lily. “Would you like to come and meet Lily today?”
Alicia’s face broke into a wide grin, “I would love to meet Lily. I can always use a new friend and maybe next time I can go with John when he babysits.”
“Next time?” Shelby’s brow raised.
“Oh, trust me, there will be a next time.” Alicia giggled again and Shelby shook her head at the woman’s obvious joy over Shelby’s naivety.
Chapter Eleven
Unlocking the door to her apartment, S
helby pushed it open and announced that she was home. She and Alicia had just entered when a small blur ran toward her. “Mama! You’re back!” Shelby was practically tackled by Lily in a big hug before she noticed the blonde woman next to Shelby.
Noticing Lily stiffen in her arms Shelby bent down to look Lily in the eyes. “Lily, this is Alicia. Alicia, this is Lily.”‘
Alicia waved shyly to Lily and Lily mimicked the movement. Quiet hellos were exchanged as John came into the room breaking the tension. “Alicia?”
“Daddy!” Alicia greeted John with a large hug and giggled when he swung her around. “Put me down, Daddy. I don’t wanna get dizzy.”
“I don’t know,” John winked at Lily. “Lily seems to love this and she hasn’t gotten too dizzy yet.”
“Yeah, it’s lots of fun, Mama,” Lily agreed. “Uncle John spins really fast and then puts me down and I walk funny.”
“It sounds like you had a lot of fun with Uncle John today,” Shelby kissed the top of Lily’s head and gave her another hug.
“I did,” Lily nodded agreeing.
“And you didn’t give Uncle John any trouble?” Shelby asked.
Looking at her feet Lily stole a quick glance at John and then grabbed Alicia’s hand. “You wanna see my room, Alicia? I have all sorts of toys.”
“Sure.”
Kicking off her shoes, Shelby turned to John, “Well, what did she do?”
“Let’s go into the kitchen and chat while I finish cleaning up.”
“Cleaning up?” Shelby slowly followed John into her kitchen and groaned. “Please tell me she didn’t do this all by herself.”
“Well I sure didn’t help,” John laughed at Shelby’s expression.
“What was she doing anyway?” Shelby asked grabbing a towel and starting to wipe the flour off the stove.
“Making cookies,” John deadpanned. “I put her in time out for trying to get to the ones above the refrigerator so she decided that she’d make her own.”
“And to do this she needed all the flour, sugar, and chocolate chips?” Shelby asked continuing to clean.
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