by Jenika Snow
“You just let her go?”
“If you’d seen Skylar you’d understand why I did. She was excited about this. Why can’t you be happy for her? This little crush she’s had on you is fading fast. I figured you’d be happy about that,” she says.
“I am happy.” No, I’m not. I’m pissed off.
Skylar has loved me from afar. I knew it. I took it for granted, and the first time I actually want to explore something, she’s off with another guy. A completely wrong and different guy.
I stand up, running fingers through my hair. “She’s not staying there. It’s way too dangerous, even for her.”
“You’re going to crash her date?” Claire asks.
“Yeah, and guess what, sweetheart. You’re coming with me.”
She stares at me for several seconds, and shakes her head. “Oh, hell no. There’s no way in hell you’re blaming me for this. I’m there for Sky. I’ve no intention of ruining her chance with Adrian.”
“He’s no good for her.”
“Says you. He’s doing a damn better job showing her a better time within hours of knowing her. You’ve known her a long time, and what have you done? That’s right, acted like her stupid father.”
“Get dressed. We’re going, or I’ll carry you out of here over my shoulder like that.”
I get what I want.
Always.
Chapter 11
Skylar
His lips are firm, warm on mine. With his body pressed to me I feel the hardness of his strength, and smell the sweat and blood that are splattered on him. The sounds of the crowd cheering, and of lewd comments being thrown out, fill my head. I can’t help but push them back and embrace the feeling that consumes me.
Heat.
Arousal.
Needing him now.
He pulls away and I look into Adrian’s eyes. His pupils are slightly dilated, his breathing haggard, and the expression he wears shows a mixture of lust and intensity.
“What’s happening?” I find myself whispering. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t even move for long seconds.
“Kiss her again,” someone shouts.
“Lucky bitch,” a girl cries out.
“Take me instead.”
“Fuck me, Adrian.”
All the comments slam into me, surround me, and make me feel dizzy. This is not the moment I want to have in this situation. I feel exposed, bared in front of all these strangers. They stare at us as if we are a specimen on display for their enjoyment.
“I—” I say softly, and look around. “I can’t be here.” I turn and push my way through the people. My lungs seize, and I feel like I can’t grasp reality. This feels like the world is weighing down on me, like everything is spinning out of my control.
I rest my hands on my knees and breathe in and out. I feel someone touch my shoulder, and I spin around. But Adrian is there, his expression concerned.
“Hey,” he says softly.
I look at him, at his sweaty, bloody body, at the fact his eyes hold so much emotion. He holds his arms out and I find myself going into them. I let him embrace me, and just absorb the feeling of his presence and touch that makes everything feel … right.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”
“It’s not your fault, and you have nothing to be sorry about.” He strokes my back and I feel myself calm further. “I shouldn’t have brought you here tonight. I wasn’t thinking.” He pulls back and cups my cheeks, and for the longest time he just stares in my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Adrian
I feel like shit.
I am shit for bringing her here.
I pull her in for a hug again and just hold her. I want to make this right, to make her see that I’m not this heartless bastard that would throw her into a pack of ravenous wolves.
I should have known better. I should have taken it slow.
But I’d just wanted her to break free a little, to let her know the world is still going, and no matter what I’ll still be here.
“Come on,” I say and lead her further away from the crowd. I’ll take her to my place, buy something to eat for us on the way, and then we can just chill. She can talk to me, unload if she wants to.
I’ll be there to listen to her.
The flash of headlights momentarily blinds me, and I pull her behind me as the car comes to a stop.
“What the fuck?”
I hear the enraged voice before the passenger side door is even closed.
“Holden?” Skylar says, and moves away from me. “What are you doing here?”
I know.
Shit is about to hit the fan.
Chapter 12
Holden
So Claire isn’t so bad. She talks constantly on the way over to the fight, but I am only partly listening. Most girls I know thrust out their chests, or try to tell me how many other guys they have screwed. Claire rambles on about her latest classes, which are interesting, even if I didn’t take any of them.
“Have you figured out what you’re going to do?” Claire asks.
“About what?”
“With Sky and her hot date.”
“He’s not hot.”
“He totally is.”
“Is not.”
“Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.”
“How old are you?”
“Old enough to know that right now, you’re going to suck, big time! Royally suck. If you ever want her, you’re going to have to do better than this.” Claire sighs. “I’m bored.”
“You didn’t have to come,” I remind her.
“Puuhlease. You’re going to make a total ass of yourself, and it’s going to be up to me to save you.”
“I’m going to make sure Skylar’s okay, and then I’m going to take her home.”
“You’re going to be completely lame to her. I get it.”
Claire is starting to annoy me. “You didn’t have to come.”
“You’re starting to sound like a broken record with that.” She lets out a sigh. “Oh, men. You don’t know when to stop.”
I don’t get time to respond as I pull into the back of the parking lot, and there is Skylar, and that bastard Adrian has his arm wrapped around her. I don’t like how cozy they look. She is mine, always has been. Slamming on the breaks, I ignore Claire’s warnings and climb out of the car.
“Holden!” Claire shouts my name.
“Holden?” I hear Skylar say, followed by, “What are you doing here?”
I don’t like it. Every second that passes, I feel like I am losing her. I can’t tell Alex what I am feeling. Hey, Alex, tell your sister to stay away from Adrian. Why, you ask? Because I fucking want her.
Yeah, none of that conversation is going to go down well.
“What the hell are you doing, Skylar?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I tried to stop him but he’s got a huge head.” Claire didn’t look at me as she spoke to Skylar.
“I don’t need your help here.” I turn to glare at Claire. “You shouldn’t have let her go.”
“Last time I checked, I was her friend and roommate, not her parent, or overbearing brother.” Claire winks at me.
“Not that it’s any of your business, Holden. I’m on a date. A date with Adrian.”
“No, you’re not. Do you even know who he is?” I ask.
“Dude, you don’t have to go there,” Adrian says.
I don’t like how easy it is for him to hold Skylar. His arm is across her shoulders, and they are even holding their hands together, locked fingers and all. Jealousy consumes me just by looking at them.
“What would Alex say?” I ask, pulling her brother card.
“Enough, Holden. You’re not my father, okay? I can do whatever I want.”
“Your parents are relying on us to take care of you.”
“So I left one jail to go to this one?” she asks, flinging her arms up. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“You can have fun. Alex and I—”
“Stop right there! I don’t want you, or anyone else to show me a good time. I can have a good time all on my own, and I don’t need my big brother to make friends for me. Come on, Adrian. We’re out of here.”
I watch as she goes with Adrian, and doesn’t even look back. Fuck. Fuck. I fucked up big time.
Running fingers through my hair, I stand and watch her leave with that bastard.
“Damn. I guess next time you should trust me when it comes to doing crazy ass shit like this,” Claire says.
I turn to look at her, and then back at the dust from Adrian’s bike. Everything that has just happened has left me in some kind of shock. I never thought I’d see the day that Skylar would rather fight me than be with me.
I’ve taken her crush for granted, and so far, little by little, she is withdrawing from me.
“As much as I love to stand looking off into the distance, I’d really like to get back to my dorm and study. Don’t you think you’ve seen enough for one night?”
“She always had a crush on me,” I say before I can even stop myself.
“I know. She did tell me.”
I head back to the car feeling like the world’s biggest loser. “Did she say anything else about me?”
“You want to know now?”
“Yeah, I do.”
She releases a sigh. “Okay, fine. She just wants the chance to live her life, Holden. Between you and her brother, you’re suffocating her. I did warn you of this before we came out on this crazy drive. Did you get what you wanted out of it?”
“No. You know I didn’t.”
I drive back to her dorm in a bit of a haze. I can’t believe how my life has turned out. This shouldn’t be happening.
“Skylar’s a great girl. I enjoy rooming with her,” Claire says.
I force a smile. “Are you feeling sorry for me now?”
“Just a little bit. You look like someone took away your favorite toy. Girls grow up, Holden. We don’t stay loving the same guy, or waiting forever.”
Pulling into her dorm, I see several chicks stare our way. “Thank you for accompanying me.”
“I’ll totally kick your ass if I end up being on the naughty list with Sky. I like her. Take care, Holden. Maybe one day, I’ll actually get to see a fight.”
“No. Not if I can help it.”
“Fighting can be hot, you know.” She climbs out of the car, and I watch her go. I’m not a complete asshole. I wait until I’m sure she’s safely inside her own building before heading back to my own.
Entering my place, I make my way toward my bedroom. I collapse onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling.
Talk about a total fuck up.
Pulling my cell phone in front of my face, I look at Skylar’s number. Is there any way I can gather some lost ground? I don’t want her to hate me, damn it. I want her to fucking like me, and right now, I feel her slipping through my fingers.
Opening up a message, I really don’t know what to type. I’m sorry seems too damn lame.
“Fuck!” Dropping my phone onto the bed, I rub at my temples. Everything will be better in the morning. It has to be. I won’t accept failing or losing Skylar. I can’t.
Chapter 13
Skylar
I’ve asked to meet Alex for a drink, or just to talk. I need that desperately right now.
I also want to be with Adrian, because he makes me feel special. He makes me feel like I don’t have to be afraid of myself.
But I want to hear what Alex has to say.
I’ve had Adrian drop me off, even though he’d wanted to spend more time with me. After the fight, and the Holden issues, I just need some time alone.
When my door is shut firmly behind me I notice I am alone. That is good because I’m not in the mood for conversation right now. My cell vibrates and I see a text from Alex.
Alex: I’ll be there in ten.
Half an hour later and I am seated across form Alex at this small diner most of the college campus goes to.
“Tell me what happened, Skylar.”
I’ve briefly talked about it all in the car on the way over here: the fight, Holden showing up, and how everything just spiraled out of control.
I slowly pour a spoonful of sugar into my tea and watch as the granules sink to the bottom. I stare at it, mesmerized by something so unsubstantial.
“Skylar, talk to me.”
When I look at Alex, I see the concern and sympathy on his face. I hate that look. “I'm not avoiding anything, Alex.” The low tone of my voice and the way I drop my gaze again probably seem contrary to what I just said. When Alex places his hand on top of mine I lift my gaze again.
“You know you can talk to me. I'm here for you, always.”
“I know that, but—” The deep breath I take doesn't give the desired effect. I still feel all of my confusion inside of me. I stare my brother in the eyes, feeling guilt that I’ve never told him what happened all those years ago.
The almost rape. The fact I have kept it inside all these years.
“You guys look over the menu some?” A thin, very attractive woman stands in front of us, small paper pad in hand, pen poised.
“I’m starved, Sky.”
I smile.
“A large All The Way pizza, please.”
The waitress nods once and leaves us alone. I stare out the window, tracing the diner’s sign with my gaze. Before I can bring up Adrian, the waitress steps up to our table and sets the pizza and a few plates between us.
Have we been sitting in silence that long?
“Enjoy.” I don't miss how she gives an appreciative glance at Alex.
When the waitress finally decides to leave, Alex and I both grab a slice of pizza at the same time. We eat in silence and I am thankful. I don't want to think about anything aside from the way spices in the sauce explode in my mouth. The way the cheese melts off my slice and drips onto my plate.
“So, classes start Monday. You ready for all the chaos?” Alex grins around a mouthful of pizza. I am thankful for the distraction from my questions and thoughts.
I swallow my bite and take a long drink before answering. “Yes. No.” Alex chuckles and I can't help but smile. “I'm nervous, but I'm also excited.”
“Hey.” Alex places his hand on top of mine and leans forward. “This is exactly what you need, Sky. This is the next step in your life.”
I clear my throat and pull my hand out from under Alex’s. “I actually want to ask you something.” He leans back and one of his eyebrows raises in curiosity.
“Do I want to know?” The teasing note in his voice has me smiling.
“I promise it isn't anything bad. A least I hope not.” I don't know why I said that last part. Since first seeing Adrian, he has been a constant thought in my mind. I feel a connection with him that I have never felt with anyone else. “Can you tell me about Adrian?” I watch Alex's expression for any kind of change, but he continues to watch me stoically. “I just…” What can I say? “Holden has just been freaking out with me spending time with him and I am curious what’s the beef with the two of them.”
Alex is silent for so long I start to worry that maybe Holden’s words have held some merit, but then he breathes out.
“What can I say about Adrian? I think it all stems from freshman year. They were after some girl, and after that, shit just went downhill. Adrian has a reputation for having a bad past, childhood, hell, life in general. But it’s all rumors, and frankly he’s never done shit to me.” Alex runs a napkin over his mouth. “You seem really interested in Adrian.”
I nod. “I feel like he gets me.”
Alex nods. “Why don’t you just ask him? Why don’t you just see what’s fact and what’s bullshit?”
That sounds so easy, but I worry it isn’t.
Because once he tells me about his background, what will he say about mine?
Chapter 14
Adrian
“You need to leave Skylar alone,” Holden says.
I a
m sucking on a lollypop, and I turn away from where I was reading my book to find Skylar’s jailor. “What?”
“You need to leave her alone. You’re not good for her.”
I snort. “You think you are?”
“I’ve known her my entire life, and I can safely say that I know how to make her feel safe.”
This guy doesn’t have a clue. Skylar doesn’t want to feel safe. She wants to explore, experiment, live, have fun. I recognize it inside her because it’s inside me. We’re both wanting something more out of life.
“Well, when she wants to go back to your way of a prison, sorry, life, then I won’t argue.”
“You took her to a damn fight. She could have got hurt.”
“First, she didn’t get hurt, and if there was ever any danger, I’d have gotten her out of there. I’m not a fucking asshole. I have no intention of ever hurting her.” Putting my book away, I stand up so I’m no longer being glared down at. One thing I don’t like is someone trying to intimidate me. I don’t go with that shit. Not now, not ever.
“Stay away from her.”
“I’ll stay away when she wants me to stay away. Until then, that’s not going to happen.”
I stare him down until he turns on his heel and leaves. Holden and Alex can go fuck themselves if they think for a second that I am going to back down.
I’m heading toward the library when I spot the roommate that had turned up with Holden.
She holds her hands up as I approach. “Can I say that I come in peace?”
“What the fuck for?”
“I wasn’t there to cause any trouble. I’m rooting for you and Sky, honestly. She needs to let loose, otherwise all of that tension is just going to explode, and it’s not going to be in a good way. I’m thinking scary, horror movie shit.”
I like Claire. She is weird, and funny, and back to being a little weird again.
“At least someone is. Where is Sky?” I ask.
“She’s in the library again. I think it’s the only place she likes. Weird, huh? She’s my girl.” Claire tucks some hair behind her ear. She isn’t flirting. “I’m really sorry about Holden. I think he has a thing for Sky, and obviously, it’s not really working how he expected.”