by Dawn McClure
Giddy. At the age of twenty-eight.
And probably over nothing.
She opened her water bottle. “Living in the city is exciting. There’s always some place to go and something to do, but it’s usually busy and loud. I find my condo a refuge. But here…there’s peace from being outside as well. Sometimes, when I’m here and I’m outside, I feel as though I’m the only person on the planet.” She fiddled with the cap of her water bottle. “I want two golden retrievers. I love dogs.” She laughed and looked at him. “Guess you can take the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl.”
“I love the country,” he said with a little too much force. He took himself down several notches before continuing. “I don’t think I could live in a busy city.” For her he’d try. The errant thought didn’t even shock him. Not after her admission. But he figured he should keep that thought to himself as well. Trust and communication were great and all, but if he bulldozed her with what was on his mind right now, she’d jump in her truck and take off—blizzard be damned. So he kept his mouth shut.
He’d never stopped loving her. The realization sent another shock wave through his body. Somewhere deep down he’d always known he loved her and always would, but in order to get past the heartbreak, he’d covered those feelings up and buried them deep where it wouldn’t hurt as much.
“I dunno,” she mumbled, as though he weren’t sitting across from her contemplating their entire relationship. She leaned on the counter, her long chestnut hair falling over her shoulders. “I have family here. None there. But my job is there. And my boss is leaning toward giving me my own office. There’s a lot to think about.”
He hadn’t heard his name on the side of Pine Grove’s amenities. He also hadn’t heard that douche nugget’s name on the side of California’s amenities. It was time to drop a few hints—but just hints. Because right now, with the way he was feeling, he might blurt out a proposal just to beat that douche nugget to the punch. “It’d be nice to have you home.”
There. He’d thrown out his vote and he’d done it without sounding desperate. At least he thought he sounded normal. She didn’t seem surprised by what he’d said when she glanced over at him. Only more contemplative, as though she hadn’t considered him part of the South Dakota package.
Well, he sure as hell was.
Then again, he doubted he could measure up to that Liam guy she was dating. John didn’t have enough money in his savings to retire. Didn’t own a fancy car, and there sure as hell wasn’t anywhere around here to take her in a fancy car. John wasn’t the type to compare himself to another man, but when it came to Mel, it seemed he was a little self-conscious. The fact that she’d said she was a jealous after hearing about Jessica made him feel a little better about the direction his mind kept wandering to. He’d never been the type to be jealous. Until now.
Now? The thought of her going back to California and marrying Mr. Suave didn’t sit well with him at all.
All things considered, if she really did come back home—which he highly doubted—she likely wouldn’t approve of him living with Jessica and Ben. If he and Mel were dating—another thing he highly doubted—he wouldn’t even consider bringing Jessica into his home.
But where would that leave Ben? Jessica didn’t have family in Pine Grove. Hell, he didn’t think she had family that she talked to at all.
He wished he could see five years into the future. Then again, it was probably best that he couldn’t. Jessica would be in Pine Grove within the next few weeks. If Mel decided to come home, it’d be the worst possible timing. Because he couldn’t turn Ben away from the only home that boy had ever known.
_______
Mel slowly opened her eyes. Her entire body felt heavy, as though she were waking up from hibernation. Had she awoke from the sound of an alarm, she would have hit snooze until the button fell off. In the wee morning hours she’d tried to stay awake as long as possible, because the conversation with John had been…invigorating. But she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes open when the clock had ticked just past three in the morning. The last thing she remembered was lying on the sofa in her mother’s office, trying without success to convince John that she didn’t need a blanket, because she couldn’t find the throw blanket that she could have sworn she’d seen earlier that day. She must have fallen asleep right after that.
And he must have found the blanket. When she sat up, she brought the small throw blanket with her. She had no idea what time it was or how long she’d been asleep. It sure didn’t feel like a lot of time had passed. She glanced at the window. It was still somewhat dark outside. It couldn’t be any later than seven in the morning.
So she’d gotten maybe three hours sleep at best. “John?”
No answer. The generator still hummed softly in the back of the café. She got up, wrapping the blanket around her as she did. She headed down the hallway, the faux hardwood floor cold against the soles of her feet.
A quick glance out of the front window told her the storm was beginning to wind down. She checked her watch. She wasn’t surprised to see that it was about seven in the morning, like she’d first assumed. It wouldn’t start getting light out until around seven thirty or eight, but she could see that the light wasn’t long in coming.
They probably had over ten inches, from what she could tell. It had been a while since she’d judged snow amounts, but it put a smile on her face. Soon, people would begin digging out, plows would begin their passes, and airports would clear runways. She stretched her back and yawned loud and long. Life always went on after a storm.
Which reminded her. It was Christmas morning.
Mixed feelings and a bit of guilt became trapped inside her chest. If she hadn’t flipped out about Liam’s proposal, she’d be celebrating Christmas in Lake Tahoe with him and his family, and he’d be taking a knee in a few short hours.
She still didn’t know how she felt about that. Didn’t know what she was going to say. Last night had been great. Catching up with John had felt wonderful. She took a deep breath. But that was over. The magic of Christmas Eve had melted away, and she and John would soon have to go back to the real world. Instead of getting a proposal this morning, she’d been snowed in with an ex-boyfriend. Her phone was dead and she hadn’t called Liam in hours.
But she wasn’t in a hurry to leave this cozy little dreamland just yet.
She figured John was in the bathroom, so she made a cup of coffee, hoping to chase away some of the grogginess. After making a normal cup of coffee for him and a soy mocha for herself, he still hadn’t come out of the bathroom. She called his name again, but no answer. Worry prompted her to head in the back to check on him. The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar. She pushed it open a bit and peeked. He wasn’t inside. She checked her mom’s office, in case he’d disappeared in there. No John.
Mocha in hand, she headed back to the front window. It had gotten lighter outside, and she could make out that his truck had been moved and there was someone in a backhoe clearing the road. The backhoe was small. Not usually what the city would use to clear the amount of snow Pine Grove had received. Strange. When she looked closer, she realized it was John clearing the roads. And duh, he’d cleared the drift in front of the window. Last night the window had been slightly blocked by the snow that accumulated there from the force of the wind. She’d been so tired after just waking up she hadn’t noticed that it had been cleared.
Looked like he’d been at it for hours. He had one lane on Main Street cleared already, and he was making another run down the road. That was nice of him, to help those who may be stranded. He’d always been a hard worker, like Liam. Just…different. John worked with his hands and didn’t mind getting dirty. Liam was a little more intellectual and liked to problem-solve more than use his impressive muscles to get the job done.
She wasn’t sure how much road clearing John was going to do, so she set about making a little breakfast.
There wasn’t a whole lot to
pick from. A few pastries and pre-wrapped breakfast sandwiches. She took a few sausage breakfast sandwiches out of the fridge and got them ready to microwave.
While peeling them out of their packaging, she thought about what John had said last night about where he’d like to be in five years. Married to you. He’d told her that he’d only said that to shake her up a bit, but she had to wonder how true his words had been. From the way he’d acted last night, and from other things he’d said, she’d caught on early enough in the evening that he still had feelings for her. In fact, when she’d mentioned that she was considering coming back home, he’d looked like she’d slapped him in the face. He’d looked shocked for a while after she’d said that.
Yeah, but you’re leaving soon. Probably not coming back. Let’s be real.
She wasn’t going to focus too hard on those thoughts. She’d told him last night that she felt a tug to return home, but that had been spoken in the middle of the night when words came cheap and were uttered easily. Now, as the sun rose and her life came back into focus again, reality bit her in the ass. What could she do here in South Dakota besides remain in the job she was in, with no hopes of advancement, or get a piddly job somewhere in town? She’d built a life elsewhere. And elsewhere was halfway across the country.
She paired the sandwiches with orange juice and fresh fruit cups. By the time she was finished heating up the sandwiches and setting up the table by the window, John walked in, his cheeks red and looking as cold as a frozen-over lake.
Apparently, her feelings for him hadn’t cooled overnight. Her heart beat triple-time when she saw him. Again, he reminded her of the Brawny man. Strong and capable, and usually in a flannel. But she’d seen him with his niece, and knew he could be sweet and gentle, as well. “I have some fresh coffee, some orange juice and a hot breakfast sandwich for you,” she said quickly, hoping to get her head on straight.
He took off his gloves, tossed them on a nearby table, and rubbed his palms together. “Smells awesome.”
Microwaved food rarely smelled awesome. What she’d made was no better. “There wasn’t much to pick from.”
“I’m not a picky kind of guy.”
No, he wasn’t. They settled themselves at the small table by the window and she had a thought settle down with her: she was happier to sit across from him eating a microwaved breakfast sandwich than she’d been at most five-star restaurants. Except for that Thai restaurant in Temecula. Dear God, their food was so good. But even that place sure didn’t hold the memories this café did.
Girl, get a hold of yourself. “So, you thought you’d beat the plows?”
“I had to dig out Darlene Haggerty’s drive. I promised her I would, so around five this morning I headed across the street and got the backhoe out of the hardware store’s shed. I made damn sure I didn’t snag any of her grass while pushing snow, and then I knocked on her door and told her I’d done my best, but the storm wasn’t exactly done blowing snow around. I promised her I’d be back later in the day. The weatherman said the storm is about done. Then my phone died just as I was calling Sophie, so I went to work clearing a path for us.”
She squirted ketchup on her sandwich. “A path for us?”
He looked at her, holding his coffee cup halfway to his mouth. “So I can get you home. And don’t worry about the roads. I’m driving. Sophie can get her truck later.”
He couldn’t even wait for the plow trucks to clear the roads? So that’s why he’d been out there with only an hour or so of sleep. To get the hell out of dodge.
Nice. Just like when he’d headed off to college early, he couldn’t wait to be rid of her. All the old feelings came rushing back, but she beat them back down to think about it all later. She’d stupidly thought he’d been clearing roads to be a Good Samaritan, not because he couldn’t wait to get out of the café. “Sounds good,” was all she said.
“You don’t seem happy to get back to the real world.”
She shrugged, her gaze locked on her sandwich. He sure could read her pretty well after all those years between them. She put on a smile and looked up at him. “It was nice catching up.”
“That it was.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he only looked out of the window while he ate. He finally turned to her with a smile. “Are you going to friend Mike on Instagram now?”
She recalled Mike trying to friend her on Facebook, a social media site she rarely went on. She had been active on Facebook years before, but no longer paid much attention to it. “You don’t friend on Instagram, you just follow. He must be talking about Facebook. I rarely go there.”
He shook his head. “You’re speaking a different language to me.”
“Yeah. I’ll friend him,” she said. She didn’t feel like going into detail.
They finished their sandwiches and coffee and cleaned up. He put gas in the generator and grabbed his jacket while she waited by the door. For some odd reason leaving the café felt like goodbye. He paused at the door before he pulled it open. “It’s damn cold outside.”
She tapped the jacket he’d loaned her. “Thanks to this I won’t turn into a popsicle.”
“I hope you decide to return. We missed you.”
Something inside her snapped a little. Her inner Miranda Lambert came out to play. “Missed me? You sure seem ready to leave. Couldn’t even wait for the plow truck to clear the roads.” Stop talking, Mel. Close your damn mouth. “Had to clear them yourself just to get away from me. Kind of like you did when you went off to college early.”
Way to sound like an immature brat. She wanted to grab the handle to the door and make a dramatic exit, but he was holding the handle and she couldn’t get out. Besides that, she still had to ride home with him. Damn it, Mel, why couldn’t you just swallow up all this trapped anger and shut your face?
John was staring at her, completely flabbergasted from the looks of it. “I promised Mrs. Haggerty I was going to clear her drive, and then I just figured I’d clear us a path. The snow blew right over some of the back roads, leaving them decently clear. Either that or the plow has already taken a swipe, but suffice to say I thought we could make it.” He took hold of her arm. “Mel, I swear to you, I could spend a whole ‘nother week here with you, but I thought you’d want to get back and charge your phone.”
She felt ten shades of stupid and wished she hadn’t said anything. As usual: Foot. Mouth. Repeat. “I always have this feeling that you’re trying to get away from me.”
“I’m no psychologist, but I figure that has something to do with those abandonment issues you talked about last night. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. That was never my intention, Mel. You have to know me better than that. Have I ever given you reason to doubt what I say?”
No, he’d never given her a reason to doubt him, but boy, she could make a living coming up with fake reasons herself.
She wasn’t sure how it happened, or who moved toward who. Maybe they both leaned in. One moment they were standing in front of the door, about to head outside into the snow, and the next they were kissing.
Kissing in the very place they’d had their first kiss.
For a fleeting second her entire body felt weightless. She must have thought about kissing him a thousand times the night before, and none of her imaginings had come close to how he made her feel.
He pulled away, almost forcefully, shocking her—until she recalled she had a boyfriend, and he certainly wasn’t the man standing in front of her.
John cleared his throat and opened the door, the wind whipping his response back at her. “Blame it on the mistletoe.”
“John,” she said, taking hold of his arm. “Wait.”
He shook his head and stood in the doorway as snowflakes fell and settled on his hair and jacket. “Trust and communication. That’s all we needed back then, and who knows where we might have been now? But things happen for a reason.” He looked up at the mistletoe, and he looked tired for the first time that morning. “I apologize for kissin
g you. You have a boyfriend. And whether you guys are married by the end of next year or you break up tomorrow, I’m not crossing that line. You have someone back home. In California.” he amended. “Home in California.”
He’d thrown out several more words, but the insinuation stayed. Maybe she’d left someone back home…in Pine Grove. Because Pine Grove was home. “Freudian slip?” she asked, her courage at an all-time high.
He said nothing more, only turned and started to head toward his truck.
Chapter 15
Mel sat silently beside John as he drove them to his place. He’d wanted to pick up the presents he’d bought for her family, and since his place was on the way and it was Christmas morning, he’d said that would be the best time to drop them off. He hadn’t wanted her to drive, so they’d left her mom’s truck parked in front of the café. Mel had relented to leaving the truck rather easily and hadn’t put up much of a fuss. There was just too much on her mind to argue with John this morning.
That kiss being at the top of the list.
A peck, really, since he’d pulled back so quickly. John had been right. She had a boyfriend who was one short step away from being her fiancé. Well, to Liam’s way of thinking anyway. She was still on the fence. Okay, not so much on the fence as she was leaning against it. During the past week John had shown her qualities Liam lacked, but in no way was Liam a bad man or a lazy type of person—he was very much the opposite. He was the most driven man she knew, and that included John. Liam had plans to have a timeshare in the Bahamas. He wanted to travel to exotic places. He’d had some of these goals since the sixth grade. To accomplish all those expensive goals he had to work. Hard. She respected that. Add that to wanting to gain his father’s love by working for it, and who was she to judge?