Sade's Secret

by Sparkle

  Calvin looked so handsome sitting across the table from me. The smile on his face seemed to brighten up the room. “Joyce, I know I've put you through some things over the years, but you've stood by me. No man could ask for more from their woman. I love you so much.”

  “I love you too,” I responded to Calvin, as I gazed into his eyes.

  Calvin got out of his chair and got down on one knee in front of me. Other people in the restaurant started looking in our direction. His actions caught me totally off guard. “Calvin, what are you doing?”

  Calvin ignored my question. He opened up a black velvet box and inside was a small diamond ring. This was coming as a total surprise to me. The ring was small, but I didn't care about the size because the man I loved was kneeling before me with love in his eyes. I wiped the tears that formed in the corner of my eyes. I could feel my heart beat increase as I waited to hear the words that hadn't been spoken to me since Avery proposed to me over sixteen years ago.

  Calvin took the ring out of the box and reached for my hand. “Joyce, would you do me the honor. Will you marry me?”

  Before he could get everything out, I blurted out, “Yes, Calvin. Yes.”

  People around us clapped. I held my hand out as Calvin placed the ring on my finger. Calvin stood up and gave me a kiss on the lips. I looked at the ring and then back at Calvin as he took a seat back in the chair on the opposite side of the table. “You've made me the happiest woman in the world tonight.”

  “I plan on making you happy for the rest of our lives,” Calvin said.

  “Wait until we get home and tell Sade. I can't eat another bite. I'm too excited.” I couldn't keep my eyes off my ring. Yes, the diamond was small, but it was cute and it was a token of my man's love for me.

  “You sure you don't want dessert?” Calvin asked.

  “No, baby. This ring was all the dessert I needed.”

  Calvin smiled. “Well, I have another surprise for you too. Call Sade and tell her to lock up everything. Tonight, my dear. We’re spending the night at the Omni.”

  “Oh my goodness. Did you win the Texas state lottery or something? First the hair, dinner, the ring and then a night at the Omni? Don't wake me up if I'm dreaming.” It had been a very long time since I had been this happy.

  I pulled out my phone and called Sade as instructed. “Baby, lock up. We won't be back until tomorrow.”

  “There's something I need to talk to you about,” Sade said.

  “Can it wait until tomorrow?” I asked, not once taking my eyes off my fiancé. Sade didn't say anything so I asked, “Sade, are you there?”

  “I guess it can wait,” Sade responded, before hanging up.

  Sade sounded a little disappointed, but I refused to let it rain on my parade. I was happy and no one was going to threaten my happiness today. The man who I've dedicated the last six years of my life to had made it official. We were officially engaged.

  Calvin paid our bill and I glowed with excitement as I followed Calvin out of the restaurant. We enjoyed a night of bliss in our hotel room, but unfortunately returned to the real world around noon the next day. Sade was at school so we were home alone. I couldn't wait for her to get home from school so I could tell her the good news. I started to send her a text message, but decided to wait to tell her in person.

  With so much positive energy flowing through my body, I decided to give the apartment a thorough cleaning. The kitchen, although small was big enough for a small kitchen table. The wallpaper in the kitchen needed to be replaced and it would have been nice to have new cabinets, but I made due with what I had and cleaned up the counters and swept the floor.

  It didn't take me too long to clean the living room. I was glad I convinced the apartment manager to pull up the mangy carpet so that I could have hardwood floors. It was better than trying to vacuum a stained carpet that the apartment folks wouldn't replace. I saved the bathroom for last.

  I put on some gloves as I prepared to clean the toilet. I placed some of the paper towels in the trash bag, but something caught my eye. I reached my gloved hand into the trash and pulled out a pink E.P.T. pregnancy test box.

  “What in the world?” I caught myself saying aloud. “Oh, my goodness. My baby might be pregnant.”

  I reached back in the trash to look for the stick to confirm, but didn't see it. I rushed to Sade's room and the evidence I was looking for was staring me straight in the face. The white stick with a pink positive sign stared right back at me.

  “Mom, what are you doing?”

  “I guess I should be asking you,” I responded, as I turned around holding the stick with the positive pink sign.

  “Give me a minute and I'll explain everything.”

  “Yes. Please do.” I counted backwards from twenty to calm my nerves. I would hear Sade out before pouncing on her for getting pregnant. “Eighteen… seventeen …sixteen …”

  “Is Calvin here?” Sade asked, as she placed her backpack on the floor in front of her bed.

  I forgot about counting and blurted out, “No, thank God because I don't need him hearing what I'm about to say to you. I never thought a daughter of mine would disappoint me the way that you have.”

  “Mama, hear me out.” Sade said as tears flowed down her cheeks.

  Sade's crocodile tears were not going to work. I waved the stick around and continued on with my rant. “This here confirms you're pregnant. If you wanted to screw around, you should have come to me and I could have put you on some form of birth control.”

  “But, mama, it was never my intention to get pregnant.”

  “If you have sex, there's a one hundred percent chance you will get pregnant. You should have come to me and we could have talked about it.”

  “It's not what you think. I didn't know how to tell you.” Sade held her head down in shame.

  “Now it's too late. You're a little girl yourself. How are you going to raise a child?” The more I thought about this situation, the angrier I got at not only Sade, but at myself. I saw how her hips had spread, but I thought it was because of good eating not because she was having sex.

  “I can get an abortion,” Sade blurted out.

  “Oh no. No child of mine will be getting an abortion. You should have thought about the consequences before gapping your legs open. Who's the daddy? I need to talk to him as soon as possible?”

  “Mom, maybe you should sit down for this,” Sade said.

  “Baby girl, what you need to do is tell me who the daddy of this baby is so I can talk to his parents and see what they plan on doing for this child of yours.”

  Sade wiped the tears from her eyes and looked me directly in my eyes. In a low raspy voice, Sade said, “Mama, the baby's daddy is Calvin.”

  “Oh, so you've been seeing a Calvin too.”

  “No, mom.”

  It was beginning to register to me what Sade was saying. My legs wobbled, but I didn't sit. I stood directly in front of Sade and dared her to lie to me. “Tell me again, who is the daddy?”

  Sade repeated slowly, “Your man, Calvin.”

  Before I knew it, my hand drew back and I slapped Sade. Sade's hand flew to her right cheek and tears streamed down Sade's face.

  She could stop with the tears. I held my hand up. “See this.”

  Sade sniffled, but didn't say anything.

  I pointed at my engagement ring and yelled, “Calvin just proposed to me. We're getting married. You must have known about it.”

  Sade stuttered, “I had no idea you were getting married.”

  “I don't believe you. Fess up. What you're trying to do is not going to work.” Sade was pissing me off more and more with her lies. I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “You need to tell me who the daddy is so we can get all of this straightened out.”

  Tears returned to Sade's eyes and she sobbed uncontrollably, “Mama, Calvin's been sleeping with me since I was ten years old. I was too scared to tell you.”

  I blinked a few times. Yes, this was m
y daughter in front of me, but she must be an imposter. This couldn't be my daughter. No daughter of mine would say what she just said about the man I'm about to marry. The man that I've loved for the past five or six years would never do something as horrible as what Sade was accusing him of.

  I knew Sade had problems with Calvin, but I never thought Sade would go to this extent to break us up. Was Sade even pregnant? Was Sade trying to set this up the whole time? So many questions ran through my mind as I stared at Sade as she spurted out the same lie about Calvin being the father of her unborn child. I pinched myself because I must be sleepwalking. I must have dozed off between cleaning the rooms. This had to be a nightmare.

  “Mama, I'm not lying. Calvin's my baby’s daddy,” Sade said again.

  Sade's words vibrated in my head as I pushed Sade back on the bed and walked out of the room like a zombie.

  ~12~

  SADE

  As soon as my mom left out of the room, I fell on my bed crying. I thought my mom would be outraged at what Calvin had done to me, but instead she thought I was making it all up.

  How could she not believe me? I'm her daughter. I wouldn't lie about something as serious as this. Anger swept through my body and dried my tears. I got out of bed and went to confront my mom.

  My mom sat on the edge of her bed in a daze. I stood for a few seconds to see if she was going to acknowledge me, but she didn't. Upset, I blurted out, “All these years I've held on to this secret and now that I'm telling you mom. You act like I'm lying. Well, I'm not lying and I'm not holding on to the secret anymore.”

  My mom refused to look at me as she spoke. “You will not disrespect Calvin again. You hear me? Don't tell nobody else what you told me.”

  I refused to go away quietly. I had remained quiet for five years too long. I walked over to her dresser and with one huge swipe, used my arms, and made everything on the dresser fall to the floor.

  My mom looked at me with a crazy look and yelled, “Sade! You better get down there and clean up that mess.”

  “I'm not doing shit.”

  “If you don't clean up.”

  I interrupted her. “What mom? What more can be done? Your no good boyfriend. Correction, fiancé has been screwing your daughter and you act like you don't give a damn.”

  “I do care. Stop saying that. But you're lying and I will not have you spreading those lies about Calvin.”

  I rushed to my mom’s bedside and fell to my knees. I grabbed her hand and pled, “You got to believe me. I wouldn't lie about nothing like this.”

  “What's going on here?” Calvin asked, as he walked in their bedroom.

  “Nothing baby,” Joyce said as she wiped her damp face. “Get up Sade. This conversation is over.”

  I couldn't believe it. My mom was actually ignoring everything I told her. I got up off the floor. I looked at her and then at Calvin. I looked down at my mom and with pain in my heart said, “I hate you. I hate both of you.”

  As I stormed out the room, I heard Calvin ask my mom, “What's that all about?”

  She responded, “Nothing. She's just going through something.”

  I could hardly breathe. I had to catch my breath. My chest heaved up and down. I felt like I was having a panic attack. I needed air. I needed something. I needed to talk to my best friends. I plopped on my bed and got Dena and Crystal on a three way call.

  Neither Crystal nor Dena said anything as I told them everything. I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.

  Crystal's the first one to speak. “Sade, why didn't you tell us? We're your best friends and you kept a secret like this from us.”

  “Yes. We’re supposed to be your girls,” Dena added.

  I didn't have an answer for their concerns. Maybe telling them Calvin was the father wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe I should have kept what happened to me a secret. I couldn't control the tears that now ran down my face.

  “We’re not trying to upset you even more. But if you had told us, maybe we could have helped,” Crystal said, this time in a softer voice.

  “I don't think there's anything you could have done.” Unless they were willing to let me come live with them, there's nothing they could have done.

  “You got to tell somebody,” Dena said.

  “Who? My own mom acts like she doesn't believe me. She has to know I'm telling the truth.”

  “She knows. She's just in denial,” Dena responded.

  “I hate her. I hate her as much as I hate Calvin.”

  “You don't mean that,” Crystal said. “You're just upset right now. Give it time to cool down. Your mom will realize you're telling the truth and then she'll kick Calvin out on his behind.”

  “I don't think so. She's really holding on to the fact that I just said it to break them two up.” The pounding in my head increased.

  I looked in the direction of the door after I heard a knock. “Open up. We need to talk,” Calvin's voice rang from the other side of the door.

  I hurried up and got off the phone. “I'll talk to y'all later. I got to take care of something.”

  Calvin knocked again. I didn't respond. I just sat on my bed with my legs crossed. As usual, Calvin burst into my room uninvited. He seemed outraged. “You've lost your mind going around saying I'm the father of your bastard child,” Calvin said.

  “Get out. Get the hell out of my room, Calvin. Mama. Mama!” I yelled.

  “Your mom took one of her sleeping pills. She had a headache, so she's out for a few hours.” Calvin walked in the room and closer towards my bed.

  I jumped out of the bed and clenched my fist. I was prepared to fight him today. “Don't come any closer. You will not touch me again.” Without taking my eyes off Calvin, I pulled out the huge butcher knife from under my pillow and held it up.

  Calvin laughed. “Little girl, if I wanted to, I could take that knife away from you and stab you with it. But I wouldn't do that because that would kill your mama. Contrary to what you think, I love that woman in there and wouldn't do anything to hurt her.”

  “I can't believe you, Calvin. You sleeping with her daughter hurts her. Did you ever think of that all the times you've been coming in here and doing what you've been doing?”

  “I've tried to stop, but Sade, I love you too. And I can't. I can't be without you Sade.”

  I extended the knife out in front of me and waved it back and forth. “You're sick. Stay away from me. Stay away from my baby.”

  Calvin pulled out some money from his pocket and threw it at me as I watched the bills hit the floor. “You can't keep that baby. Get rid of it. If you have the baby, it's going to cause too many problems.”

  “I can't. Mama don't believe in abortion.”

  “She doesn't have to know. That's enough money for an abortion and for you to buy you a new outfit,” Calvin said, before turning around and exiting the room.

  As much as I was upset with Calvin and didn't want to have anything to do with him, I thought about it. I could not abort my baby. Calvin stole my innocence from me, but he would never take anything else from me. I would keep the money, but I would not be getting an abortion.

  ~13~

  JOYCE

  This has to be a nightmare.” The things that Sade said crept into my dreams. Even with me taking the sleeping pills, I tossed and turned in bed throughout the night.

  In fact, it didn't feel like I had slept at all. My head ached and felt like an eighteen-wheeler had run right into it. Calvin's snores filled the room. I removed his arm that had been draped around my body so I could get out of bed. He moaned and then turned over and went back to sleep.

  I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the clock. It was thirty minutes before the alarm went off. Thirty minutes before I was supposed to get up and get ready for my twelve-hour shift at the hospital. I tried to will my body to stand up so I could get my day started, but couldn't move. My mind and body wouldn't cooperate.

  I reached over to the nightstand an
d picked up my cell phone. With all that was going on, there's no way I would be able to function at work today. I needed to figure out how to deal with the Sade and Calvin situation. I called my immediate supervisor.

  “This is Joyce. I'm not feeling well and I won't be in today.”

  I waited for my supervisor to protest, but she didn't. I got off the phone with her and slowly eased out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. My red puffy eyes stared back at me. My hair was a mess and sticking up all over my head, but what got me the most was the fact that I no longer recognized the woman behind the ebony eyes staring back at me.

  The small diamond of the engagement ring cast a sparkle as I moved my hand in full view of the mirror. I looked at the ring and then back in the mirror to my lifeless eyes. My emotions were all over the place. I felt torn. I loved my daughter, but I loved Calvin too.

  How could Calvin do what Sade accused him of and I never knew? Sade had to be lying. There's no way Calvin would do something like that to my daughter. If he had, I would have known.

  “Snap out of it,” I said aloud, as I turned the cold water on and splashed my face with it. I picked up the small towel from underneath the bathroom counter and wiped my face.

  I decided to go check on Sade so I headed straight to her room when I left the bathroom. My eyes caught a glimpse of a knife Sade held in her hands as she slept. I started to go remove the knife, but didn't. “My baby. What's going on with you that you have to lie on Calvin? What guy are you protecting,” I whispered.

  I quietly entered her room and sat on the edge of Sade's bed. Sade jumped up with the knife in a tight grip. “It's me baby,” I said.

  Sade blinked and put the knife down when she recognized me. Her head fell back on her pillow. I laid on the bed beside her and said, “It'll be okay, Sade. We'll get through this, together.” I rubbed Sade's head like I used to do when Sade was younger. “We'll figure it all out in the morning.”

  I drifted off to sleep with my body shielding Sade's. I woke up when I felt Sade shift in the bed. “Good morning, sleepyhead,”