by Sparkle
“Calvin, I don't know what's gotten into you, but don't you ever try to hit Sade again. Sade, go to your room. Calvin and I need to talk.”
Sade rolled her eyes. “It's about time.” Sade stormed out of the living room and back towards her room.
I was pissed. “Calvin, I've never seen you this upset with Sade before. I know we talked about the paternity, but you didn't have to take it this far.”
Calvin reached for me. I jerked my body away. “No. That's my little girl there and I know she's now your stepdaughter, but please. You better not ever raise your hand to hit her again.”
I stood there for a few seconds. I didn't know what else to do so I walked away. I left Calvin alone in the living room to go get my head together. I went straight to the kitchen cabinet, retrieved a bottle of Crown Royal, and poured myself a drink. I drank it straight. If this didn't clear my head, I didn’t know what would.
“Lord, what am I going to do?” I said aloud as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.
“Don't be calling on the Lord now,” I heard Sade say from the kitchen doorway.
“Sade, I'm not in the mood. I suggest you go back to your room or somewhere,” I responded, without opening up my eyes.
Sade laughed. “As usual, you're taking Calvin's side, so whatever.”
Sade stormed out. I was so upset at Sade right now that I threw the glass at the wall and it fell to the floor and shattered into many pieces. The broken glass reminded me of my life-everything around me was falling apart.
~23~
SADE
I refused to let Joyce and Calvin get under my skin. I avoided them both as much as I could for the remainder of the week. I needed to concentrate on the showcase. Today was the day. I reapplied my make-up to make sure I was on point because we had to look good as well as sound good.
I turned sideways in the mirror and ran my hand across my top. I squinted. I could see my baby bump. I hoped others wouldn't be able to tell too much. My phone beeped. It was a text from Crystal alerting me they were waiting for me outside. I left the bathroom and grabbed my backpack out of my room.
“Where do you think you're going?” Calvin asked, while blocking me in the hallway.
“To mind my own business,” I responded.
“Joyce didn't tell me you were to go anywhere.”
“My mom's not here so I'm going to hang with my friends.”
“I don't think so.” Calvin extended his arms so that his whole body blocked the hallway.
I pulled out my cell phone and hit one of the buttons. “Let's see what my mama has to say about you trying to hold me hostage.”
Calvin dropped his arms and moved to the side. I hit the end button on the phone and smiled. “Just what I thought. I'll be back when I get back.” I pushed passed him and walked out of the apartment.
I slipped in the back seat of Jada's car next to Dena. “Sorry, y'all,” I said.
“What took you so long?” Crystal asked, from the front seat.
“Calvin tried to tell me I couldn't go anywhere.”
“I can't stand him,” Dena responded.
“Who are y'all talking about?” Jada asked.
Crystal said, “Sade's step daddy.”
“I didn't know your mama was married,” Jada said as she looked at me in the rearview mirror.
I was glad to know Crystal wasn't gossiping behind my back to Jada. The thought of Calvin caused a feeling of disgust to sweep through my body. “She just married the punk. They are still honeymooning.”
“I'm glad my mom didn't marry the jerk she was dating,” Jada said. “Only thing he did was get drunk and beat on my mama.”
“Really. Did he ever beat you?” I asked, out of curiosity.
“Hell no. My brother, Scank, would have beaten him down. My mama used to beg Scank not to whoop up on him after he would beat her.”
“Times like these is when I wish I had a brother.” I stared out of the window.
“What's up? He ain't hitting you or your mama is he?” Jada asked.
I wasn't in the mood to discuss Calvin with Jada so I responded, “No.” I wasn't lying. Calvin wasn't hitting on me, but the pain he caused ran much deeper. “Enough about Calvin. I need to concentrate on making sure I don't forget the words to the song.”
Crystal turned around in her seat and looked at me. “Girl, you better not. You got the lead.”
I chuckled. “I'm just kidding.”
Dena retrieved a CD out of her purse and handed it to Crystal. “Put that on. Let's go over it one more time.”
Crystal placed the CD in the player and adjusted the sound. They sang over their song until Jada pulled up into the club's parking lot.
“I'm going to be your manager. Every group needs a manager,” Jada said.
Dena laughed. “Girl, you always got a hustle.”
“So what do y'all say? When y'all win, you know representatives are going to be hounding you.” Jada had a serious look on her face.
Crystal said, “Whatever. We need to win first.”
I reapplied some lip-gloss to my lips. “Sure, Jada.” I only appeased Jada since she was our ride.
Jada responded, “Then it's official. I'm your manager. Well, come on girls. You have a showcase to win.”
Dena said, “Oh no, what did we get ourselves into?”
Crystal and I laughed.
“I wasn't expecting all of these people. I'm nervous,” I confessed, as we walked in and saw the other contestants and observers.
“Just pretend like you're in Crystal's room rehearsing,” Jada said.
“Yeah right.” I placed my backpack on the floor in front of me as we stood in the long registration line.
Jada said, “Why don't y'all go find a seat. Dena and I will take care of registration.”
Crystal and I didn't object.
“Let's sit over here.” Crystal pointed to a table with four chairs.
My hand flew to my stomach. I felt the baby kick. “Please, Lord, please just let me get through this showcase.”
I had to give it to her; Jada was taking her role as our manager seriously. She made sure we were one of the top ten performers. Jada barked out orders. “This is it, ladies. Do your thing! I'll be right over there, so if you get nervous just look at me.”
“I better not,” Crystal said.
I said a quick prayer and as the music keyed up, Dena, Crystal, and I walked out on stage.
Sweat formed on my forehead. I hoped it wouldn't run into my eyes or ruin my makeup. The lights were bright, so I could barely see who was in the audience as I stepped behind the microphone.
With my hands slightly shaking, I picked up the microphone and belted out the first stanza. Once I started singing, I forgot all about being nervous. We had all been waiting for this moment. I gave it all I had. Crystal was on point with her background singing and when it was time for Dena to say her rap, she flowed flawlessly.
The crowd seemed to be all up in our performance, and that included some of the other contestants. I walked off that stage with confidence. Even if we didn't win, we were sure to capture some of the A&R representatives’ attention that was seated in the audience.
Feeling a little giddy, we went and sat at the table with Jada. “You girls nailed it,” Jada assured us.
~24~
SADE
We were on edge as we watched the rest of the performances. We had some stiff competition. Dallas was obviously filled with some very talented people. As I watched some stellar performances, I prayed we would at least rank in the top three.
Four hours later, the judges announced the winners. “Third place goes to Mercedez,” the announcer said.
We squeezed each other's hands as the announcer called out the second place winner. “Jon Boy, come on man. You're the second place winner.”
“For the grand prize, ten thousand dollars, and a chance to work with one of the hottest producers in the area, the winner is.”
Someone walked u
p to the announcer and whispered in his ear. “Well, ladies and gentleman. I've been informed that we not only have one winner today, but two so the Grand Prize winners will split the ten thousand dollars and both get a chance to work with one of the hottest producers in Dallas. The winners of the Grand Showcase are Black Mafia and one of the hottest girl groups since Destiny's Child.”
“Please, please, let it be us,” I said. I clenched my eyes shut.
The announcer said, “Adore, come to the stage. You're the other winner of the Grand Showcase.”
We were so excited. We couldn't help ourselves. When we heard our names, we all jumped up and down. “We won. We won,” we yelled out and hugged each other before making our way to the stage.
The announcer handed the trophy and certificate in our direction. I held the trophy while Dena held the certificate. Crystal acted as our spokesperson. “We would like to thank the judges for believing in us. We can't wait to get in the studio.”
After taking photos and finding out more details about our winnings, we piled up in Jada's car. I was elated. One of my dreams was coming true. I was already writing lyrics in my head. I said, “This is it girls. We did it. When I get home, I'm going straight to my room and start working on some songs.”
Dena said, “Once you do, call me and I can be working on some raps.”
Jada said, “And I'll be trying to figure out how much you girls are going to pay me.”
Crystal said, “Excuse me.”
“As your manager, I should be paid a salary.”
Dena cleared her throat. “Well, according to my research, a manager gets ten or fifteen percent, so unless you get us some more gigs, you don't get paid.”
“But...” Jada stuttered.
“Take us to cash our check and then we might give you a little something for taking us to the showcase,” Crystal said.
I added, “But it won't be ten percent.”
“It sure won't,” Dena agreed.
Jada said, “The banks are closed, so I'll have to take y'all Monday.”
“Who’s going to keep the check?” I asked.
“I'll keep it. No one goes through my stuff,” Crystal said.
I looked at Dena. “Dena, I don't have a problem with it, if you don't.”
“Sure. But make sure you put it in a safe place.”
Jada dropped me off at the apartment. I said my goodbyes and floated out of the car. The smile plastered on my face reflected what I was feeling inside-pure joy. I reached the front door and fumbled for my keys. Even the sight of Calvin and my mom cuddled up on the couch couldn't spoil my mood.
“Hi, mom,” I said, when I entered the apartment.
“Hey, baby,” she responded.
“Is that all you see?” Calvin asked.
I ignored him. “Mama, I want to tell you something. Can you meet me in my room?”
She looked at Calvin before responding, “Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Calvin.”
“Fine. Me and my friends won a showcase today.”
“Really. Well, that's good baby. You do have a beautiful voice.” She eased out of Calvin's arms.
“We're going in the studio too to record a CD. Can you believe it?” I couldn't hide my excitement.
My mom's eyes lit up. “Really. Oh my goodness, my baby's going to be a singer.” She got off the couch and hugged me. “I'm so happy for you, baby.”
Calvin cleared his throat. I guess he couldn't stand my mom giving me attention. “Don't mean to spoil everything, but do they know you're pregnant. How are you going to go to school, record a CD, and have a baby? That's ridiculous. You need to give up on that dream of being a singer. Just concentrate on having that baby and getting your education.”
I rolled my eyes. Calvin could take his comments and shove them down his throat. I pretended like he wasn't there. As Evelyn from Basketballs Wives would say, Calvin was a “non-factor” so he might as well get used to it.
I looked down at Calvin as I walked past the sofa and into my room. I threw the backpack on the side of the bed, retrieved my diary from up under my bed and plopped down on top of the covers. I went immediately to the page where I had written a few lyrics.
I retrieved a notebook out of my backpack and wrote the lyrics out of my diary into it. I hummed along as I wrote them down.
I was still writing lyrics two hours later when my mom asked from the doorway, “Dear, are you hungry?”
Food was the last thing on my mind, but I needed to eat something because of the baby.. “I'll be there in a minute.”
I wrote one last stanza, placed my diary and notebook under my pillow, and went to the kitchen to fix me a plate. I loved pasta and was glad to see my mom cooked spaghetti. I piled my plate full with spaghetti and sauce and took a seat at the kitchen table.
Calvin walked in the kitchen and took a seat right across from me. “I meant to tell you earlier that the outfit looked nice on you.”
I didn't look up from my plate. I continued to eat and didn't say a word.
“Sade, I just complimented you. Aren't you going to say anything?” he asked.
“I thought you were talking to my mama.”
Calvin leaned across the table. “You know you're sexy when you're mad.”
I threw the fork on the plate. I was quickly losing my appetite. I pushed back from the table, threw my uneaten spaghetti in the trash and washed my plate.
I turned around and came face to face with Calvin. I could smell the liquor on his breath. He said, “I've been missing you.”
“Calvin, please don't go there.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist. “You're mine. You'll always be mine.”
I struggled to get away from him, but was unsuccessful. “Mama!” I yelled out several times.
“She took a sleeping pill. She won't hear you.” He kissed me as I wiggled my body and attempted to get out of his embrace.
I was no match for the drunken Calvin. Not again, I thought as I closed my eyes and went to a faraway place.
~25~
JOYCE
The alarm clock buzzed, waking me out of my sound sleep. I reached over and hit the off button. The night before I took a sleeping pill and was able to sleep through the night. I was off today, but forgot to turn the alarm off.
Since I was unable to fall back to sleep, I decided to get up and cook us all a big breakfast. I was at the stove stirring grits when I felt Calvin's arms wrap around my waist. It caught me a little off guard so I jumped.
Calvin kissed the nape of my neck. “You left the bed without giving me my morning kiss.”
“You were sleeping so soundly, didn't want to disturb you,” I responded, in between giggles as he tickled my neck.
“Well, I'm up now, so what's up?” he said.
“Baby, Sade might walk in. We can take this to the bedroom after breakfast.”
“I want you now,” he insisted.
I turned around to face him. “Give me thirty minutes, and then I'm all yours.”
“Spoil sport,” he playfully responded.
“Love you, too.” I went back to cooking breakfast.
Ten minutes later, I knocked on Sade's door. “Breakfast's ready. I really would like for you to come sit at the table, dear.”
Sade responded from the other end. “I don't feel like it.”
“What's wrong? Is it the baby?” I asked.
“Just tired, mom. I'll eat me something later.”
I was still determined to bring my family together so I refused to let up. “You need to eat something. Come on, Sade.”
“Fine. I'll be out in a minute.”
“Hurry up. Don't want your food to get cold,” I said, before walking away.
Calvin and I were seated at the table eating our food and joking about stuff. I looked up when I heard Sade enter the kitchen. Her hair was all over her head and she was wearing a robe. She dragged her feet as she made her way towards the stove.
“Well, hello,” Cal
vin said.
Sade didn't say anything.
“Baby girl, it's too early in the morning to have an attitude,” I said, before Calvin could say anything else.
Sade turned around, rolled her eyes and responded, “Good morning.”
I hated the tension between Calvin and Sade. Things were getting worse and worse as the days went by. Sade fixed her plate and then sat at the table next to me. Sade ate her food, but barely looked up.
“I'm so proud of you, baby,” I said, trying to make Sade talk.
“Uh huh,” was all Sade said.
“So how much money did y'all win?” Calvin asked. “You know we got some bills around here that we could really use help on.”
I interrupted him. “Calvin, let her be. It's obvious she doesn't want to talk to us.”
Sade looked up for the first time and in my direction. “Thanks mom.”
“Well, I'm just saying. We got bills. She lives here. If she got some money, she should help out.”
Sade said, “Like you help out around here. Ha. What a joke?”
Calvin said, “You see how she talked to me. You better get your daughter Joyce. I told you I'm not going to be dealing with blatant disrespect in my house.”
Sade pushed her plate away. “I told you I wasn't hungry. And you wonder why.” Sade looked directly at Calvin. If looks could kill, Calvin would have been dead from the sharp daggers Sade threw looking his way.
I attempted to diffuse the situation. “Sade, you have to eat something. If not for you, for the baby.” I pushed the plate back in front of Sade. “Just eat the grits, if nothing else. Please.”
Sade picked up her spoon. “Fine.” Sade rolled her eyes at Calvin and then started eating her grits.
“Enough is enough.” I was livid. I looked at Calvin and then at Sade. “This is my house. If I can't have peace here, where else can I have it?”
“Now you see how I feel,” Sade blurted out.
“Young lady, I've been letting you slide with your smart comments due to your condition, but you will not disrespect me in my own house,” I said.
Calvin's face went from a frown to a smile.
Both of them had pissed me off so at this point I didn't care about nobody's feelings, but my own. I turned and faced Calvin. “And you will make more of an effort to be nice to Sade. She's a teenager, not a grown woman, so don't expect her to pay any bills around here. In fact, since we're talking about bills, I think you should find yourself a regular j-o-b and contribute to this household more on a regular basis. I'm tired of bearing the bulk of the responsibility.”