by Sparkle
“Introductions, pleassse,” Jada said.
“Stop drooling over my man,” I said while taking off my seatbelt.
“He's fine. Does he have any brothers?” Jada asked.
“Yes, but they locked up.” I grabbed my backpack.
“When they getting out?”
Crystal said, “Girl, forget Jada. Better get your man before that heifer there tries to steal him.”
“I'm not worried about Chardonnay.”
Jada said, “I wouldn't trust her.”
“Don't nobody want Char. Believe me, I already peeped her game. And when it comes to Brandon, she can keep it moving.”
I exited the car and walked over to Brandon. Brandon wrapped his arm around my waist as much as he could under the circumstances.
Chardonnay rolled her eyes. “Oh, I didn't know you were here to see her.”
Brandon said, “I told you why I was here. Stop tripping.”
“Whatever. I don't want you no way. He's all yours,” Chardonnay said as she stormed up the walkway into the apartment complex.
“She's a trip.”
Brandon grabbed my hand. “Forget her. Let me hear that song you were telling me about.”
I removed the CD out of my backpack and handed it to him. Brandon held the passenger door open. I eased my big belly and me inside. He rushed to the driver's side and got in. “We can listen to it while I go get you something to eat.”
Even if I weren't the one singing the song, I would have liked it. “You like?” I asked.
Brandon smiled. “Sade, this is good. This sounds so professional. It’s good. I think others will like it too.”
“Liking it is one thing, but do you think people will love it. Want to request it on the radio. Want to see a video.”
“Sade, all of the above. I think your group Adore is going to blow up.”
“Really? Well, we'll need a band. Somebody to do our clothes. Our makeup.” I was excited and spurting out things that I had dreamed about while going to Booker T.
“I got the band. And I'm sure you'll figure out the other stuff,” Brandon assured me.
“So you really think we're on to something?” I asked again.
“Sade, once he mix and master this song, you ladies better get ready. I think this is going to change your life.”
I felt a kick in my stomach. It brought me back to reality. With me being pregnant, I wasn't too sure. I ran my hand over my belly. I had come so close to seeing my dreams come true. A lone tear fell down my right cheek.
~41~
JOYCE
I should have known something was up when people looked at me sideways as I walked down the hall to my manager's office. Now, here I was sitting on the opposite side of Diane Phelps desk as she pretended to be engrossed in a manila folder she was holding.
I cleared my throat. She finally looked up to acknowledge I was there. She pulled out a yellow sheet of paper from the folder. Looked at it and then up at me. “I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm going to get straight to the point. Joyce, we're going to have to let you go.”
“You're firing me?” I asked in disbelief.
“You can say that,” the manager responded.
“What am I going to do? I have bills.” I stared at Diane.
“Because you've been a valued employee, we are including a six month's severance package,” she said to me as she handed me the yellow sheet of paper she had pulled out of the folder.
I looked at the paper and read over it. After putting in all of these years, I was being let go. “I have enough sick time,” I said. “If not enough sick leave, vacation time.”
Diane said, “Your work has been subpar. The report our department is required to turn in hasn't been filled out correctly for your shifts. I've been trying to be understanding, but I have to answer to my superiors. Joyce, I really hate to let you go. I really do. Maybe, once you get your personal life in order, you can reapply. If I'm here, the job is yours.”
I opened my mouth to argue the fact that I thought I was doing a good job under the circumstances, but kept my comments to myself. The situation with Calvin has now affected my livelihood. I was more pissed with myself than I was at anyone else. Besides, I knew it was no sense in arguing with now my former manager. I signed the exit paper, took the check, and stuffed it in my pocket.
I walked out of the office with a bowed head. Some of my co-workers tried to stop and talk to me, but I ignored them and kept on to my locker. Only managers in my hospital unit had offices so my stuff was kept in my locker. I found an empty box and emptied out the contents of my locker into it.
The situation could have been worse. I'm grateful Diane didn't have security come escort me out like they normally would do when terminating an employee. At least I'd been saved from that embarrassment. I looked around as I walked out one last time. I wouldn't be returning as an employee. There were other hospitals in the city, so as soon as I pulled myself together, I would apply at one of those.
Instead of going home, I drove around Dallas for what seemed like hours. Gas was high, but I didn't care. I needed to clear my head before returning home. I still had six hours left on what was supposed to be a twelve-hour shift so it wasn't like Calvin or Sade would be expecting me home any time soon.
I drove out to White Rock Lake and watched the ducks. Coming to the water always calmed me. I closed my eyes and thought about Calvin and Sade. Calvin had become more loving these last few weeks, but still my feelings for him were not as strong as they once were.
Fortunately, he hadn't tried to hit me since the last incident, but then again, I'd been careful not to say anything I thought would piss him off either. I laughed as I thought about how my life had changed. A woman should be able to disagree with her man without worrying about him hitting her.
“Pull yourself together, Joyce,” I said to myself.
I looked at the small waves in the water one last time, then walked and got back in the car. I took the long way home. I started to yell out and announce myself when I entered the apartment, but wanted to surprise Calvin. Looked like I was in for a surprise. I heard Calvin's voice from the hallway as I approached the closed bedroom door. Wrong or not, I waited outside the door and eavesdropped.
“I promise to pay your phone bill. Just give me a few days. Joyce gets paid this week and I'll get it from her.”
So this is what he does when I'm not here. He's talking to some skank.
“I love you too,” Calvin said to the woman on the phone, right before I burst through the door.
“You bastard. Get your stuff and get out of my house. You're taking my money and giving it to your other woman. Oh hell no. Get out now.”
The stress from losing my job and now walking in on him talking to another woman made me snap. I went ballistic and started throwing Calvin's stuff out of the dresser drawers. I said every curse word that came to mind. Calvin tried to calm me, but failed at first. He finally was able to wrap his arm around my body. He repeated. “Baby, it's not what you think.”
“Whatever, Calvin. I'm through.”
“That was my mama. If you don't believe me, call her yourself.”
I didn't believe him. “Give me your phone.”
“Joyce, you know I don't like you using my phone. Use your own phone.”
“Calvin, give me the phone or get the hell out of my house.”
“Fine. Take it. And I want an apology.”
“Whatever.” I snatched the phone out of Calvin's hand. I scrolled and hit the last number dialed on Calvin's phone.
I tapped my foot as I waited for someone to answer the ringing phone. “No answer. Your trick must have known it was me calling back.”
Before I could hand the phone back to Calvin, his phone rang. He reached for it, but I didn't give it to him; instead I looked at the number I had just dialed and answered it. I hit the speaker button.
“Hello,” I said.
“Is Calvin still around?” Calvin’s mo
m's voice said from the other end of the phone.
Calvin tilted his head. “Told you.”
“Mama Cee. I thought you were someone else.”
“Put my son on please,” Calvin's mom didn't even pretend to want to talk to me.
“Here. You lucked out this time.” I shoved the phone at Calvin.
“I want an apology,” Calvin said. “Mom, I'll be over in a minute.”
He wasn't guilty this time, but I still didn't fully trust Calvin. I picked up the clothes I had thrown on the floor and placed them back in Calvin's drawers. “It sure sounded like you were talking to some other chick.”
“You're the only chick that gets this. Believe that.”
“Your mom's waiting on you so you better get going.”
“So no apology?” Calvin stood in front of me and asked.
I may have been wrong this time, but I still felt Calvin was up to something. “I'm sorry.”
“You're going to pay for it tonight too.” Calvin laughed.
I threw one of his socks at him. He caught it with his right hand. “You don't want to keep your mom waiting.”
“You're right because you know she can be a real bear when she doesn't get her way.”
“Like mother, like son,” I said as Calvin walked out the room.
Sade came in the room and found me on the floor still picking up stuff. “He didn't hit you, did he?” Sade asked.
“No, baby. I got mad. Threw a few things. I'm just cleaning up the mess I made.”
“Oh, okay. Just checking.”
“It means a lot you're trying to take up for your mama, but baby girl, I got this.”
Sade left me alone to finish cleaning up. I still hadn't told Calvin or Sade that I was unemployed. They would find out soon enough.
~42~
SADE
Crystal, Dena, and I, known as the group Adore, were back in the studio working on another song. I was considered the lead singer so I sang my solo part first. I stood behind the microphone and sang, “I got love and it feels so right. I got love and its taking me through the night …”
Dena got up to the microphone and said her part. L-o-v-e let me tell you what love means to me. You and me, baby, forever. Don't ever doubt me.”
We sang our parts repeatedly until Manchu felt we got it right. “Ladies, good job. We got one more song to do and that's all the studio will need.”
I was glad Brandon came to the session tonight. Seeing the smile on his face motivated me as I belt out more tunes. As I sang the last song, I thought about my life and what was happening at home. I used those emotions to set the tone for the song. I sang, “It's time. Time to let it go. You hurt me once before and I can't take no more …”
“That's a wrap,” Manchu said. “I'll get with Jada and let you all know when everything is done.”
“We did it,” Crystal said.
We gave each other high-fives.
I told them, “Brandon's going to drop me off. I'll see y'all later.”
Crystal said, “Don't forget to stop by tomorrow evening to pick up your birthday present.”
“That's right, it's your birthday,” Dena rapped.
“I wish I could enjoy it,” I said.
Brandon said, “I'll bring her by and then I'm going to take my baby to a restaurant.”
“Ooh, that's so sweet,” Jada teased.
We said our goodbyes and went to our separate destinations. Brandon eased behind the wheel and drove me home. I wobbled up the walkway with Brandon on my side. He took my house keys and unlocked the door for me.
He looked down at me and said, “Sade, be ready by seven because I want to make sure we have time for dinner and a movie. I don't want your mom getting mad at me because I'm bringing you back after curfew.”
I brushed his face lightly with my hand. “I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Most guys wouldn't care about a curfew.”
Brandon's hand brushed my bang. “I'm not most guys.”
The magnetic force between us was undeniable. Brandon bent down and kissed me. I floated as we shared our first kiss. The sensation sent a jolt through my body.
Brandon must have felt it too. “I better get going,” Brandon said.
“Yes. I'm a little tired.”
“I'll call you later,” Brandon assured me.
I smiled as I went into the apartment. Not even running into Calvin in the hallway dampened my spirits. I went to my room, closed, and locked the door.
I pulled out my diary and wrote about today. These feelings for Brandon were foreign to me. Tomorrow, I would be turning sixteen and for the first time I was falling in love. I admitted it in writing as I wrote down my feelings in my diary. I was falling in love with Brandon and it felt like Brandon was falling in love with me too. Brandon was unlike any person I had ever met. He was a boy from the hood, but he also had the good guy thing going for himself. Brandon was a well-rounded guy and he had his attention focused all on me.
I had dozed off to sleep. My phone rang, made me jump. My diary fell to the side of my bed. I reached for the phone and smiled as Brandon sang, “Happy Birthday to you” from the other end of the phone.
“Awe, thank you.”
“I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday. I'll see you tomorrow.”
I didn't realize it was after midnight until Brandon called. He was always thinking of me and doing sweet little things to put a smile on my face. If truth be told, I felt as if Brandon loved me more than my own mother and that was sad. I shook off the bout of depression that was threatening to creep in on my birthday.
I picked up my diary from off the side of the bed and wrote a quick entry. I spoke as I wrote, “Today's my sixteenth birthday. I'm happy that Brandon called. I'm happy that he cares, but it saddens me to know that nobody else seems to care about me. I'm not ready to raise a baby. I put up a good front, but I'm scared. I feel as if I have nobody to talk to about my fears. Brandon's a boy; he wouldn't understand what I'm going through.
But today's my birthday and I'm not going to get all sentimental today. It's after midnight and I'm going to end this diary entry and go to bed. When I close my eyes, I'm going to think happy thoughts. Meaning, I won't be thinking or dreaming about you know who. If I had one wish today, it would be for you know who to be erased from my life forever. That would give me my mama back and that would make me the happiest girl in Dallas.”
I closed my diary and placed it under my pillow. After turning off the light, I got back in bed and attempted to get comfortable. With the baby's position in my stomach, it was hard for me to get comfortable. Once I found a spot that didn't hurt much, I closed my eyes and thought of Brandon.
The sound of my doorknob turning woke me up out of my sleep. I was scared at first, but remembered I had locked it, so I was relieved. I suspected it was Calvin trying to get in because my mom would have knocked or yelled out to me by now. Calvin turned the knob several more times, but when he couldn't open the door, he went on about his business.
Sleep evaded me now. “Happy birthday to me,” I said and thanked God for not allowing Calvin to be able to get in my room.
~43~
JOYCE
I still hadn't told Calvin or Sade I lost my job. I went on about life as if things were the same. I left the house during my regularly scheduled time as if I was going to work, but instead I was filling out applications at some of the other hospitals in the Dallas area. They were both so wrapped up in their own little worlds, that neither bothered to question me when I arrived home early every day.
Calvin probably didn't notice me home early because he was rarely there anyway. If he had been, he should have noticed. Woman's intuition alerted me that Calvin was probably doing things he didn't have any business doing, but I could never catch him so I had no proof. One day I would get the proof and all hell would break loose, but today was not the day.
I laid in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Today, my baby turned sixteen years old. Tha
nks to Maddie, I had a location for Sade's surprise party. I probably should be saving money since I don't know how long it'll be before I find another job, but on the other hand, a daughter only turns sixteen once and as of late, it seemed as if Sade was disappointed in me as a mother. Maybe throwing her this party with all of her friends could help mend our daughter and mother relationship.
At least that's what I hoped. In the past few days, I'd done a lot of thinking and what kept coming to the forefront of my mind didn't sit right with me. The truth hurt. I had become the type of mother who put a man before her child and for that. I was ashamed of myself.
Calvin turned around in the bed and his hand automatically draped over my waist. I lifted up his arm and moved it as I eased out of the bed doing my best not to disturb Calvin as he slept.
I went to the bathroom to wash up. I checked in on Sade, but she was still sleep. I wanted to surprise her with breakfast so I cooked some of her favorite things, omelet with grits and toast and put them on a tray.
I knocked on Sade's door with one hand and waited for Sade to open it. She was rubbing her sleeping eyes. “Happy Birthday, my butterfly,” I said as I entered her room with the tray of food.
“Thank you, Mom.”
“I cooked some of your favorites and you get to eat it in your room since today's your day.”
“Thanks,” Sade responded. Sade took the tray, walked back to her bed, and sat down.
“So what do you want to do today? I was thinking about we go get our hair and nails done.”
“For real?” Sade's face lit up.
“Yes. It's been awhile since we had a mother and daughter day. Why not do it today on your birthday?”
Sade attempted to hug me, but with her huge stomach and tray being in the way, she couldn't, so we just patted each other's arms. “I already took my bath so as soon as I finish eating, I'll get dressed.”
“We need to be out of here by eleven so finish eating and I'll meet you in the living room once you get dressed.”
I left Sade alone and went back to my room. Calvin was seated on the side of his bed whispering something into his phone. I pretended not to care as I walked right past him and into the closet to retrieve some clothes out to wear on this day.