by Karen Clow
Leaving the others talking, Jimmy went back to the bar to order another round of drinks. Speaking to Larry he said, “Any possibility my friends could take a look at the accommodation? It’s not a problem if it’s inconvenient.” “I’m sure it’ll be fine, but I’ll just check with Rose first.” Larry served a customer that was waiting, before going up the back stairs to ask Rose if it would be okay.
Jimmy took the drinks over and joined the others. “You might be able to have a look round upstairs while we’re here,” said Jimmy as he sat down. Maria said to Ann, “It’s very nice.” “I’m sure it is. Are you alright Maria, only since arriving here you’ve seemed a bit quiet?” “I’m fine thanks Ann, just a little tired, probably due to all the wedding arrangements.” Larry came over with his wife and said, “Everyone, this is my good lady Rose.” As they shook her hand Larry continued, “You’re welcome to take a look round up stairs.” “Cheers,” said Jimmy. Maria interrupted and said, “If no one objects I’ll stay down here.” Jimmy quickly piped in, “I’ll stay too, it’s probably better if Shaun and Ann make up their own minds.” After the others walked away, Jimmy leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before he said, “Are you ok babe?” Smiling a half smile she nodded. “Cheer up babe, I meant what I said earlier, I’d never hurt you.” Looking at him she replied, “You don’t have to punch someone to hurt them Jimmy; sometimes what people say is worse.” Quickly trying to change the subject; he replied, “Fancy a go on the fruit machine.” “No thanks, but you go ahead.” Then she sarcastically added, “Or are you afraid to leave me here just in case I see someone I fancy?” Glaring at her he said, “Just fucking drop it Maria, this is not the time or the place!” Turning away from him she sipped her drink. A moment passed before he said, “How do you feel about taking Shaun and Ann to one of our restaurants for dinner?” “I don’t really feel up to it, but if you really want to I’ll tag along.” Squeezing her hand he grinned and replied, “Actually babe, with no house guests, perhaps we should have a romantic night in.” She just looked back at him. He was just about to say something to her when the others returned. They both noticed Ann was smiling and seemed to be getting along well with Rose.
Waiting until they sat back down Jimmy said, “Well, what do you two think?” Ann replied, “I really liked it.” Shaun gave a typical male response by saying, “Aye, it was ok.” “Sounds promising,” said Jimmy, “shall we have another drink before pushing off home?” Then he looked at Larry and Rose and added, “Thanks for letting them look round, we’ll be in touch again soon.” “I look forward to it,” said Larry.
They pulled up at Shaun’s house around seven that evening. Ann said, “We’ve had a lovely time and we think the new house is lovely.” Maria replied, “Thanks, I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for coming today, it’s been lovely” As Jimmy pulled away he said, “Shall we grab a take away?” “If you like, I don’t mind.” “What do you fancy then?” “I’m not fussy, you choose.” “Indian it is then.”
By eight they were back in the apartment eating their meal. Finishing his last mouthful he said, “What do you fancy doing tonight?” “Nothing really, I’m tired. Can we just watch the telly?” “Sounds good to me, I’ll see what films are on.” “I’ll clear the dishes while you look.”
Waiting for her to return from the kitchen, he sat on the sofa, fully expecting her to sit with him when she finished, but totally out of character she walked straight over to the arm chair. Looking over at her, he patted the sofa, indicating to her that he wanted her to sit with him. Standing up she walked toward him, as she sat down he put his arm around her back, normally she would rest her head on his chest; but not this time. “I’ve found a good film babe, it’s quite old, but it’s good. It’s a thriller called the Client.” Unenthusiastically she replied, “Fine.” Turning his head he looked at and said, “How long do you intend to carry on like this?” “Carry on like what?” she asked. “Don’t act dumb Maria; you know exactly what I mean. I don’t like childish games!” When she didn’t answer him, he asked her again. Snapping back she said, “This is all a game to you isn’t it Jimmy? Have you forgotten what happened earlier?” Raising his voice he said, “I thought that was over and done with, as far as I’m concerned it’s forgotten!” “Maybe you can forget it Jimmy, but I can’t!” Now his temper was beginning to surface again he shouted, “Where is this going Maria?” Sarcastically adding, “Or are you thinking of calling the wedding off again?” Resenting his remarks she replied, “I don’t want to discuss it. I’ve got more important things to worry about!” Smirking he said, “Like what? You’ve got fuck all to worry about!” “That’s what you think Jimmy, you’ve got no idea.” Suddenly she burst into tears. Grabbing hold of her, he said, “What the fuck is going on?” Unable to reply she just kept shaking her head and sobbing. Holding her firmly by the shoulders, he ordered her to tell him. He didn’t expect her to blurt out, “I think I’m pregnant!” “Babe, that’s fantastic!” Looking at him disbelievingly she replied, “Fantastic, what are you saying Jimmy, we’re not married yet and I’m a Catholic!” “Yeah I know, so fucking what?” Desperately she tried to make him understand that to her it was a dreadful sin. Holding her tight he said, “Bollocks how can it be a sin when two people love one another like we do?” She seemed to calm down a little with his words. Continuing he said, “God owes you big time babe, he knows what a wonderful mother you’ll make. Are you sure you’re pregnant?” She shook her head. “So what makes you think you are?” “My tummy feels bloated, my breasts are tender and I’m piddling more often.” “You forgot, irritable and snappy,” he said jokingly, “Don’t worry about it babe, we can talk to Doc Daniels in the morning.” She certainly wasn’t comfortable about it like he was, but she wanted to talk to him, squeezing his hand she said, “I need to talk to you, but I don’t want you getting angry.” Nodding at her he said, “What is it?” In a quiet tearful voice she replied, “Earlier, when you said your future wife would never leave the house dressed like a whore.” Before she could continue he quickly said, “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded babe.” “I know Jimmy, but in the eyes of other Catholics, that’s precisely what I’d be if I’m pregnant.” “And you wonder why I have no faith in the religion! It’s ok for someone like my old man to beat the shit out of my mother every day, he can say three Hail Mary’s and he’s pardoned by God. Yet two people who love each other like us, who create something as precious and wonderful as another life are condemned as sinners!” Immediately she said, “Please stop saying terrible things.” He could see she was getting upset, so he said, “Shall we forget about watching the film and have an early night. You look tired babe.” Realising that it wouldn’t be wise for her to push the subject, she nodded.
So much for the early night, they laid awake for hours just talking. They discussed being parents and the argument they’d had earlier. Assuring her that he would always love her, and that it didn’t matter what anyone else might think, they had each other, and that was the most important thing.
CHAPTER 44
That next morning Jimmy was up first. Over breakfast he said, “I’ve spoken to the Doc, he’ll call round before his morning surgery, probably about half eight, so you’d best eat your scrambled eggs.” Maria had only just finished eating, when the intercom buzzed, the Doc was early. Jimmy let him in.
After listening to her symptoms and examining her, doc smiled and said, “I don’t think you’re pregnant Maria, it’s more likely you’re getting your period.” Smiling he handed her a small bottle and said, “Take that into the bathroom and do a urine sample for me.” When she returned, he dabbed a piece of thin card in it. They waited but nothing happened. After a few moments he said, “Just as I thought you’re not pregnant Maria.” They both noticed that Jimmy looked disappointed. Doc Daniels continued, “Can I ask Maria, did you ever have a period before you lived with Nick?” She shook her head. “That’s surprising; by the age of twelve or thirteen I would have expected you to have started your
periods. Have you ever used oral contraceptives before I started giving you the contraceptive injection?” Again she shook her head.
The Doc was aware that her past was anything but normal. Smiling he said, “When you were in the convent were you ever given some tiny pills to take every day?” Immediately she said, “Yes, Sister Marjorie gave all the older girls a pill every night. One night Melanie had asked her what it was for; Sister Marjorie told her it was for protection. We all believed it would protect us from evil.” Jimmy could see how embarrassed she was as the Doc said, “It sounds like the contraceptive pill. Now because your injection is overdue, your body is producing eggs. You’ll probably have some light bleeding, it will probably only last a couple of days; if however your symptoms persist and nothing happens, I’ll come and see you again.” Maria nodded as Jimmy said, “Thanks for coming Doc.” The Doc called out, “Cheerio Maria” as Jimmy saw him out.
When Jimmy walked back into the lounge towards her, he noticed she looked sad. Putting his arm around her he said, “It doesn’t matter babe.” Trying to lighten the mood, he added, “At least you don’t have to worry about being pregnant before we’re married.” Shaking her head she replied, “I can’t believe how stupid I am, Doc Daniels must think I’m so thick! I knew about periods, I just always assumed the injection stopped them and regarding my time before Nick, I just thought I was a late developer.” “Doc wouldn’t think anything of the sort babe. Can I ask you something though?” She nodded. “Why do you think Sister Marjorie thought it necessary to give the girls the pill, if they weren’t allowed boyfriends?” “I can only assume it was in case one of the girls ever did meet a boy, at least they wouldn’t get pregnant. Although I can’t imagine for one minute that they would, we were never allowed to meet boys; it was forbidden.” “Well once we’re married you won’t have to worry about contraceptives.” “I’m glad because the church doesn’t like it.” “Let’s not talk about the church anymore babe, it winds me up. So what do you fancy doing today?” Giggling she replied, “I think it might be a good idea if we went shopping, I’ll need to buy some sanitary products if the Doc’s right.” “Oh yeah, then we should go out somewhere, we could stop at a chemist on the way. How do you fancy driving down to Brighton? It’s a lovely day; we could go on the pier or sit on the beach?” Smiling she replied, “That would be lovely. I’ll go and freshen up.”
Twenty minutes later she appeared wearing shorts, T shirt and sandals. Looking at her he joked and said, “You look like a tourist.” Even dressed casually, she still carried a certain upper class look. When he added, “You look great babe; she said, “Are you going to change into something more summery?” “Naugh I’ll be fine in jeans and T shirt.” Knowing he wouldn’t change his mind, she just nodded.
Three hours later, they were walking hand in hand along Brighton sea front. Jimmy won her a huge cuddly toy on the pier, when he handed it to her she said, “It can go in the nursery.” “I thought that” he replied with a grin.
They ate whelks, cockles and candy floss. Maria was having the most wonderful time. Sitting on the beach; he kissed her and said, “We should do things like this more often.” Lying down on the shingle she just gazed up at the sky, as she replied, “Yes, I’m having a wonderful time.” Leaning over her he kissed her, she could sense that the warm sun and the relaxed atmosphere where having a rousing effect on him. Quickly she said, “People can see us Jimmy, you’re getting a little over amorous.” In a slightly arrogant tone he replied, “I couldn’t give a shit and I bet there’s not a single bloke on this beach who wouldn’t give his right arm to be in my shoes right now.” Maria was well aware that he wasn’t going to stop when he slid his hand inside her T shirt. Feeling embarrassed as he squeezed her breast she said, “We should think about making our way back to the car.” Realising he was making her feel uncomfortable, and considering the row they’d had earlier he replied, “Ok babe.” They stood up to leave brushing themselves down.
Picking up her bag she noticed a middle aged couple staring who at them. Jimmy also noticed. It was as they passed them Jimmy turned to the man and said, “Is there a problem mate?” Maria felt panic and instantly said, “Please Jimmy let’s just ignore them.” She could see him becoming agitated. Silently she prayed to herself that the man would just ignore Jimmy’s question, unfortunately he didn’t. Answering Jimmy he said, “Yes actually there is, my wife and I found your behaviour unnecessary, especially in a public place. No one wants to watch two people mauling all over each other.” Jimmy just glared at him and said, “Fuck off!” The man retaliated by mumbling some derogatory remark about Maria’s morals. That was all it took for Jimmy to flare into a temper. Suddenly he hurled abuse at the couple, shouting things like, “Your wife’s fucking ugly no one would want to fuck her! I expect if the truths known you were getting a hard on just looking at my girlfriend.” A terrible argument raged between the two men, as they hurled abuse at one another Maria could see people watching but no one intervened. The two women were trying desperately to calm the situation, before it erupted into a full scale war. They would have succeeded, had the man not have referred to Maria as a tart. That was it, Jimmy had heard enough, grabbing the man by the shoulders he head butted him in the face. The man fell to the ground, his nose was pouring with blood. Jimmy kicked him several times, despite his wife screaming and Maria begging him to stop. Finally he did.
The man was lying on the shingle groaning; his face and shirt covered in blood. Maria was shaking and sobbing as she pulled Jimmy away, everyone was watching them. Jimmy didn’t seem to notice; it was as though he was oblivious to what had just happened. As they walked away, he looked at the man’s wife who was crying while she tended to her husband and said, “Next time lady, tell your fucking husband to keep his fucking mouth shut and his opinions to himself!” Maria could hear people mumbling under their breath as they walked passed them.
Maria cried all the way back to London. Jimmy kept saying, “Stop crying everything’s okay. If that bloke had kept his mouth shut, it wouldn’t have happened!” He was trying to justify his actions, by implying that it was the man’s fault. “It shouldn’t have happened at all Jimmy. Why didn’t you just ignore him?” “What and let him call you a tart! I’ll never let anyone speak about you like that!” She didn’t reply. For her the journey seemed to take forever.
Back inside their apartment she said, “Take a shower Jimmy; your hands and T shirt are covered in blood.” Almost smirking he replied, “So it is.”
When he came out of the bathroom she said, “I want to look at your head.” “Why; what’s wrong with it?” “You’ve got a cut on your forehead.” “It’s nothing babe, that blokes head was harder than I thought, that’s all.”
After pouring them a drink he sat down, she just looked at him; he could tell she wanted to say something. “What it is?” he asked. Looking at him lovingly she said, “Why did you beat that man on the beach? “ “You know why.” “No I don’t Jimmy, you could have just laughed it off.” With an angry look on his face he replied, “Yeah right! There was no fucking way I’d do that, the bloke referred to you as a tart, or have you forgotten that!” Although she knew he had defended her honour, she couldn’t come to terms with the way he lost his temper and how he’d hurt the man. Desperately she tried to explain to him what she meant, but all she seemed to do was make him angrier. Trying to please him she said, “I had the most wonderful day up until then.” “Just forget about it. We’ll do it again, maybe next time Mickey and Monica would like to join us?” Simply going along with him rather than have a row she smiled and nodded.
An hour had passed when he grinned and said, “Fancy taking me to bed early?” Knowing that he would want sex she replied, “I’ve got tummy ache.” She knew he wasn’t about to let that stop him when he replied with a smirk, “I’ve got something that’ll cure that for you.” “Honestly Jimmy, I really don’t feel up to it.” Ignoring what she’d said he started kissing her passionately before replying,
“I really wanted you on the beach.” Unable to bring herself to speak, she just smiled.
Once they were in bed, she noticed he was not as gentle as normal. It seemed to follow a pattern; every time he had a violent outburst he was much more dominant regarding sex.
The following morning she was woken by the house phone ringing. Trying not to wake him she crept out of the bedroom to answer it. Monica was on the line. “Hi Maria just ringing to let you know we’ve booked a table for half seven this evening at Shades, everyone’s looking forward to seeing you, especially Mickey’s sister Fay and her family.” “Wonderful I’m looking forward to meeting them. Will you and Mickey pop in today?” “Probably not, I think we’re visiting family with Fay and Richard, now I’m a bit more mobile its easier for me to stay at Mickey’s for a couple of nights, but don’t worry I’ll definitely stay with you on Saturday after the hen night. Jimmy’s arranged to stay with Mickey at his place; anyway we’ll see you tonight at Shades.” “Ok see you then.” Just as the two friends finished talking Jimmy emerged from the bedroom and said, “Who was on the phone?” “Monica, the meal is tonight at Shades.” “You’ll enjoy it babe, you’ll really like Fay and Richard.”
Over breakfast she talked about the arrangements for the stag and hen night. Despite the terrible argument they’d had before; he seemed alright about her having a hen night, that was until he said, “Remember what I said Maria, I won’t be happy with you wearing anything skimpy.” “Don’t worry I won’t.” “I’m not worried because I know exactly where you’ll be and who you’ll be with.” Nervously she replied, “Why would you say something like that Jimmy. I hope you’re not going to be spying on me?” “How can I, it’s my stag night.” “So what is the plan for that, do you know where you’re going?” “Haven’t got a clue, the lads are sorting it out.” “Oh, so what are you doing today?” “I’ve got a couple of calls to make and some money to collect from a few places. I’d like you to come with me, but you might have to wait in the car at a couple of places.” “No that’s ok, I’d prefer not to. I’m quite happy to stay at home; I’ve got some recipes to go over.” “You can do that later. I want you to come with me.” She knew that if Mickey had been available; he wouldn’t have asked her, but instead of debating it, she simply nodded her head in agreement.