by Finch, Carol
“Well,” Kurt said slowly, “he’s out of intensive care, but I still have him hooked up to monitors. He doesn’t need undue stress. According to Debra he was upset when he learned you and Alexa were seeing each other.”
“That’s an understatement.” Chance smirked.
“The shock of seeing Alexa unconscious after being electrocuted sent him over the edge. At his age, I don’t want to test that old-wives’ tale about the third time being the charm.”
“I need to speak with him,” Chance said earnestly. “I wonder if you could man the monitors while I’m in his room. I won’t stay long.”
Kurt frowned warily. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Neither is fretting about who is in charge of the ranch while he’s hospitalized,” Chance parried. “No doubt, Howard is concerned.”
Kurt nodded hesitantly. “Okay, you can see him briefly. Just he tactful with him. If he gets riled up I’ll be in that room in a flash.”
Chance strode down the hall, mentally rehearsing what he intended to say to Howard. Chance didn’t want to send the old man into cardiac arrest, but he didn’t want Howard thinking Chance was going behind his back, either.
The instant Chance entered the room, Howard’s eyes widened and he clenched his gnarled hands around the newspaper he was reading. “What the hell are you doing here? It says right here in the paper that you’re leading the calf roping event in the Fort Worth Rodeo.”
“I came back to help out,” Chance told him simply, directly. “Pecos is in no condition to handle all the ranch chores for you.”
“I’ll find someone I can trust,” Howard muttered, glaring at Chance.
Chance halted at the foot of the bed, despite Howard’s unwelcoming glower. “I know you have little use for me, but I’m offering my assistance, free of charge. I care about Alexa and Zack, though I know you disapprove—”
“You got that right,” Howard said, and scowled.
Chance clamped his hands on the railing at the end of the bed and stared the old man straight in the eye. “I’m not trying to take your son’s place. I’m not trying to take your place, either, Howard. Deep down, I think you’re afraid that might happen. But I believe in lending a helping hand when it’s needed. You provided me with a place to stay and paid me wages while I was too injured to compete. One good turn deserves another, don’t you agree?”
Howard regarded him for a long, silent moment. “And then you’ll leave when I’m back on my feet?”
Chance nodded. “When you can handle the chores without overexerting yourself, I’ll turn the reins over to you and get the hell out of your sight.”
“I’ll bet you will.” He sniffed caustically. “You’re probably hoping I’ll keel over so you can waltz in and take over the ranch. Well, I won’t let that happen. I’ll get well to spite you!”
“You do that, old man.” Chance grinned at him. “Now that we have that settled, when do you want to sell your feeder steers? The livestock market price is high in anticipation of good wheat pasture this winter. You could turn a profit if you sell within the next two weeks.”
To Chance’s relief, Howard set aside his personal grudge to talk business. But in the end, Howard’s wary suspicion got the better of him.
“I better not find out you sold fifty head of cattle and pocketed the profit on a half dozen calves for yourself. And I better not find anything missing from my house or barns after you’re gone, Butler. I’ll have the cops track you down, don’t think I won’t.”
There were only two things Chance considered taking from Howard’s ranch—Alexa and Zack. In his opinion those were the only two valuables. But he wasn’t going to upset the old man further by blurting that out.
“Now get some rest,” Chance said, his tone matching Howard’s in gruffness. “I’ve got work to do at Rocking T and it won’t get done while I’m standing here jawing.”
He turned to leave, hesitated, then glanced back at Howard. “While you’re here recuperating it would be a good time to consider all the things your daughter-in-law has done for you over the years. I don’t think you realize how fortunate you are to have a woman like that under your roof.”
For a moment Chance thought Howard was going to respond. But the old man clamped his mouth shut and glanced away. Although Chance doubted his last comments would be taken to heart, he was greatly relieved that Howard hadn’t worked himself into a lather when Chance made an appearance. If the old man’s condition were in jeopardy, the doctor would have been here in the bat of an eyelash. Apparently, Howard’s blood pressure and pulse hadn’t shot through the roof.
On his way out of the hospital Chance kept wondering if Howard appreciated this gesture of assistance, though he was too proud and stubborn to express gratitude to a man he clearly despised. Although Chance wasn’t sure what made the old man tick, he suspected the fear of losing his daughter-in-law and grandson weighed heavily on his mind.
Howard Tipton had wrapped his life around what was left of his family. He used the memory of his son as the cement that bound him to Alexa and Zack. Any man who showed interest in Alexa was considered a dangerous threat.
In some ways Chance could understand Howard’s fears, his need to protect his position in the family. Yet the old man wasn’t being fair to Alexa and Zack. He was preventing them from getting on with their lives by holding on too tightly to the past.
Convincing Howard to change his attitude wouldn’t be easy, Chance speculated. But if he could convince Howard to treat Alexa with the consideration and courtesy she deserved it would give Chance peace of mind. And if Chance could walk away with a smidgen of Howard’s respect it would be more than he expected.
In the meantime, there was work to be done. Chance sure as hell hoped Pecos could pitch in and help. If not, Chance would be working long days for the next few weeks.
The prospect of hard work didn’t bother Chance. It was this feeling of satisfaction that came from helping a family in need that really got to him. This, he realized, was what family was about. He’d never experienced the sensation before, and had been reluctant to become emotionally involved in unfamiliar situations. Though he still risked becoming so attached that leaving Rocking T again might be as painful as taking a beating, Chance decided the worthwhile deed of holding this family together was worth the risks.
Somewhere along the way, what Alexa and Zack—and even that cantankerous old man—needed had become top priority in his life.
Being the man Alexa could rely on was important to Chance. He wanted her to see her dreams come true... because seeing her happy made him happy.
And seeing her injured nearly destroyed him.
“Oh, hell,” Chance muttered as he drove off in the clunker truck Deb had left for him at the airport. He was going to be hurt badly when Howard gave him the nod to leave Rocking T. And Chance would probably know the full meaning of loneliness when he walked away a second time. Now that he had accepted the responsibility of caring for this family he would feel lost, as sure as hell blazed.
Things would be the same as they were when he was a kid, he mused. Forever the outsider. Well, he ought to be used to that, he reminded himself. No matter how much things changed it seemed they were ultimately the same.
Story of his life, Chance thought as he headed for the ranch.
Since Chance didn’t consider himself much of a cook—and had never had much opportunity to practice culinary skills—he made certain the kitchen was well stocked with cookies and fruit for Zack’s after-school snacks.
Fortunately, Zack wasn’t a picky eater. He gobbled up the microwavable dinners Chance set in front of him. And thankfully, Zack never whined when Chance requested they cut baseball practice short so they could finish evening chores.
The kid proved himself to be a trouper, and Chance’s fondness for the boy grew by such bounds and leaps during the week that followed that he couldn’t imagine what his life was going to be like without that reddish-blond-haired rookie
in it. Chance and Zack became inseparable from the moment Zack hopped off the bus and came dashing down the driveway.
Chance had learned the names of every third-grader in Zack’s class. He checked over the boy’s school papers and helped with difficult homework assignments. Chance had somehow become the substitute parent whose care and concern placed Zack at the top of his list of priorities. Chance had discovered that he had missed some of life’s most rewarding and enjoyable experiences by not having a family. The responsibilities that had once concerned him, made him question his inabilities and inadequacies, fell by the wayside in the span of a week.
Hell, not even an evening passed that Chance didn’t find himself propped on Zack’s bed, reading from the latest issue of Sports Illustrated and discussing the Atlanta Braves’ ERAs and batting averages. It had become a ritual that Chance anticipated and thoroughly enjoyed.
As for Chance’s concern for Alexa’s condition, he ran himself ragged to ensure he and Zack made nightly visits to the hospital. Alexa was developing a serious case of cabin fever, and Chance and Zack delivered a series of lectures on the need for her to stay off her feet so her mangled body could heal properly.
The woman was so accustomed to constant activity that lying in bed drove her up the walls. She squirmed, fidgeted and muttered about how the interest on her loan was mounting up and she needed to open for business immediately.
Despite all Chance’s reassurances that the B-and-B would open on schedule, Alexa wanted to be at the ranch to oversee the progress that had been made. She simply couldn’t imagine how things could get done when she wasn’t there to do them herself.
Chance was amused—in a frustrated sort of way—by Alexa’s inability to depend on someone other than herself. He supposed she’d become so self-reliant over the years that she had never delegated authority or placed the reins of responsibility in anyone’s hands. She was uncomfortable with the whole process of lounging in bed while Chance ruled the roost.
And if Alexa had said it once she’d said fifty times that she felt terrible about heaping all of Rocking T’s chores on Chance. She didn’t want him sacrificing the winnings he could have earned while traveling the rodeo circuit. She was certain she had ruined his chances of competing at national finals in Las Vegas. She apologized up one side and down the other about tying him down in one place.
No matter how many times Chance insisted that he was exactly where he wanted to be, he couldn’t convince Alexa that it was the truth. She couldn’t comprehend that he cared enough to want to see her dream of opening the B-and-B come true.
That was what it had come down to, Chance realized as he escorted Zack upstairs to bed. What Chance wanted, personally, professionally, was no longer a consideration. He was determined to see Alexa happy. He wished he could wave his arms like a mystical wizard and put her world aright, ensure her business venture was highly successful.
“How come Mom seems so grouchy lately?” Zack asked as he retrieved his sports magazines for the evening reading session.
Chance stretched out on the double bed to give his leg a much-needed rest. “I don’t think inactivity agrees with her.”
“Guess not. She never stayed in the same place very long until the doctor told her she couldn’t get out of bed.”
Zack presented Chance with the magazine, then snuggled up against him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to fix it with Mom so you could marry her? You make an awful good dad.”
Chance felt his throat close and his heart melt down the ladder of his ribs. “Do I, rookie?” he squeaked.
Zack nodded with great conviction. “You’re the best kind of dad. Even better than the dads my friends have. I’ve been telling them how you make snacks, cook supper, wash my clothes and play ball with me every night. They said their dads don’t do all that stuff for them. They think you’re a real cool dude.”
A cool dude? Chance Butler was considered a real cool dude in the third-grade crowd? Who would have thought that a man with his childhood background could impress kids? He must have been doing more things right this week than he thought.
Chance hadn’t had a clue how to care for an eight-year-old, until necessity demanded that he lend a helping hand. Chance had thought back to his younger days, then tried to be all the things—do all the things—he’d ached for when he was a kid.
There had been times when he’d wished for a sturdy shoulder to lean on, someone to prepare meals and ensure he had clean clothes to wear. He had longed for someone to be there waiting to greet him when he came home from school, instead of walking into an empty house that was sorely in need of a thorough cleaning.
The awesome responsibility of a family, a child, hadn’t been so intimidating once Chance got his feet wet. Maybe the fact that he wanted to supply all the things his own parents had neglected made Chance a model parent—at least in this eight-year-old’s eyes.
Not a model parent, Chance quickly amended. Just a substitute parent. Howard would have a hissy fit if he realized Chance and Zack had grown so close this past week. Alexa would stew about it, too, he predicted. Zack was her number-one priority, and she didn’t want to see the boy hurt in any way.
She spoke—and thought—in terms of Chance’s temporary presence on Rocking T. She expected nothing permanent from a rodeo cowboy, because she had spent nine years marned to the worst stereotype in the profession.
“Chance, aren’t you gonna read to me tonight?” Zack propped himself up on his elbow and peered quizzically at him. “You look kinda sad. Is something wrong?”
Chance smiled as he ruffled the kid’s mop of hair. “How could I possibly be sad with you here, rookie? I was just trying to think of a way to cheer up your mom while she’s stuck in the hospital. Got any ideas?”
Zack pondered the question for a moment. “Cookies,” he said. “We should bake her some cookies. She likes chocolate chips as much as I do.”
Chance winced. He’d never made cookies in his life, and he doubted Zack had soloed, either. But what the hell. Living at Rocking T had been filled with all sorts of firsts for Chance. “Sounds like a winner to me, kid. Soon as you get home tomorrow we’ll fire up the stove and start baking.”
Satisfied, Zack snuggled beneath the quilt. Chance set aside his meandering thoughts and read the article about the NBA’s highly publicized prospects for the upcoming basketball season.
Chance couldn’t help but wonder who was going to bake cookies for, or read to Zack, when Howard returned to the ranch, declaring that he was physically able to resume control. Both Howard and Alexa expected Chance to resume his quest for another world title in professional rodeo.
God, his life was going to seem unbelievably empty, Chance thought as he eased away from the sleeping boy. Now that he knew exactly what he had been missing, how much he enjoyed the responsibility of caring for a child, how much he delighted in being the recipient of Zack’s enthusiastic smiles, anything less was going to be a lousy substitute for personal satisfaction.
Damn it, why had he allowed himself get all tangled up in someone else’s life? In a few weeks he was going to be hurting worse than the kind of pain a wild bronc or unruly steer could deliver in an arena. He’d gone and broken his own rule about not getting emotionally attached in an impossible situation.
“Face it, cowboy,” Chance muttered as he sprawled on Alexa’s bed. “You’re walking in quicksand.”
On that dismal thought, Chance faded off to sleep, dreaming forbidden dreams, drifting in memories of a green-eyed woman and her adorable son...and knowing that caring so much would eventually leave him alone and miserable.
Chapter Thirteen
“Well, how are we doing this morning?” Deb asked as she breezed into Alexa’s hospital room.
Alexa glowered thunderclouds on Deb’s sunny smile. “We aren’t doing worth a damn, but thanks for asking. I wish you would use your influence on the good doctor and convince him to spring me. I’m going stir-crazy in this sterilized condo.”
Deb shook her head ruefully. “Too bad you and Howard aren’t sharing the same space. Cranky as you two are, you should be snarling at each other.”
Alexa threw up her good arm in a gesture of exasperation. Her other arm was now encased in plaster. It itched. It throbbed. The stitches under her chin felt as tight as shoelaces. Putting weight on her swollen ankle still made her nauseated. And if she weren’t allowed a change of scenery pretty darn quick she’d be a basket case!
“You try parking your carcass in bed, staring at bare walls and having nurses poke and prod at you, and we’ll see how well you adapt,” Alexa said, then scowled.
Deb sighed dramatically. “And here I brought you doughnuts for a special pick-me-up treat. I suppose you don’t appreciate the gesture any more than you appreciate my daily visits here.”
Alexa plunked her head against her foam pillow. She hated foam pillows. They caused her to wake up with a crick in her neck. She needed down-filled pillows, damn it!
“I’m sorry, sis,” she apologized. “It’s just that I have so much to do in preparation for the grand opening. I feel awful about heaping my burdens on Chance. He’s missing another rodeo this weekend, ruining his chance to compete in national finals.
“You’ve seen him in action. You know damn well that he’s exceptionally good at what he does—the best, in fact. My careless accident is costing him big time! My conscience is hounding me to death. And Zack is probably badgering Chance with so many questions that he can’t wait to hightail it off Rocking T.”
“You think so? Last time I saw the inseparable twosome they seemed satisfied with their situation. And pardon me for pointing this out to you, sis, but you can’t measure a man like Chance Butler with the same yardstick you used for your husband. They look to be entirely different creatures. Chance seems to enjoy Zack’s company far more than Dan ever did.”
“I’m glad Chance does, but this isn’t going to make things easy on Zack,” Alexa murmured fretfully. “My kid is getting too attached. He’ll be depressed and disappointed when Chance leaves again.”